CHAPTER TWELVE #4
The whole thing is deeply unsettling. Lachlan passively allows one invasive test after another, letting them draw blood, scan him and poke without resistance, all while keeping his eyes fixed on Kade.
It’s starting to feel… different.
Towards the end of the testing, Cole asks whether he can penetrate Lachlan’s chest with a scalpel.
He phrases it professionally, politely even, but he’s essentially asking permission to stab him.
For the first time in several minutes, Lachlan breaks eye contact with Kade to glance at Cole in mild surprise.
‘Thank you for asking. Yes,’ he says quietly, with genuine sincerity.
Then his attention settles straight back onto Kade, who has to look away before the heat climbing into his face becomes obvious. Everyone is quiet while Cole gets to work. Lachlan never winces, content to stare at Kade.
‘It’s not armour,’ Cole sighs, fingers red with Lachlan’s blood. ‘What a treasure you might have been.’
‘Oh, but magic is less valuable?’ Finn scoffs, studying closely as the stab wound repairs itself in the same way Kade is starting to get used to.
‘OK. We’re done for now, I think. Unless anyone else—?’
‘Yeah, me,’ Kade says, stepping forward. ‘But I want everyone out. Now.’
Luca tuts loudly, but they all filter out and it’s definitely Finn who closes the door behind him, he’s considerate like that.
Lachlan is still bound by leather straps.
They were mostly for show, to reassure Cole and Finn.
Kade studies him before he slowly straddles him, following his instincts to get to the core of something that’s bothering him. ‘Tell me about you and me, then.’ He settles in Lachlan’s lap. ‘Way back when you were my bodyguard.’
‘You still don’t believe me.’
‘Not for a second,’ Kade says confidently, more so than he feels, lightly gripping Lachlan by the hair to expose his throat. ‘But indulge me anyway.’
‘What do you want to know?’
‘I want to know if you ever wanted to fuck me.’
‘Do you know how I gained your trust?’ Kade noses against the exposed column of flesh, seeking cologne, finding only skin scent, the heat of life.
‘By fucking me?’
‘By being honest with you, even when it hurt us both. No one had ever been honest with you like that before. Not your father, the staff, not Clara, Blaire, Fenwick, no one.’
‘Am I supposed to know any of these people?’
‘My point—’
‘Is that yes, you did want to fuck me,’ Kade infers.
‘I wanted…’
‘What? Say it.’
Lachlan’s jaw works. ‘I wanted to love you.’
Kade snorts. ‘Like what? Make love to me? Take my virginity?’
‘No, that honour went to someone else.’
‘Honour? You’re a fucking relic. Who? Girl or guy? Come on, Bodyguard.’
‘You can’t provoke me like this.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because you tried for years.’
‘Ah,’ Kade sighs, rolling his hips a little, ‘but I was, in your gallant eighteenth century eyes, a kid back then, wasn’t I? What about now, Bodyguard? Am I grown up enough for you yet?’
‘Stop it.’
‘Make me stop.’
‘You’re in denial, I get it. Don’t you think it’s hard for me to accept you’ve been alive this whole time? That I failed you so much worse than her?’
Kade makes a face as he climbs off.
Mentioning the little girl kills his arousal instantly.
‘You’re pathetic and I’m not in denial. You’ve been wrong about some stuff.’
‘And right about most of it.’
‘For all I know you’re doing some Paranatural hypnosis shit or whatever, planting subliminal—’
Lachlan breaks out of the leather straps as if pulling out of toy handcuffs. Kade steps back quickly, but it’s not fast enough because Lachlan gets him by the throat, pushes him into the door.
‘You are him,’ he tells Kade, dark eyes burning bright.
‘Julian Sael Penhalyx. There is so much you don’t know about yourself, so fucking much, and I’m maybe the only one who can bring it out of you, so I get you wanting to kill me, hurt me, humiliate me, even, but this is who you are, because I’d know you anywhere, Jules.
Any skin, any world, any lifetime. Harker hid you from me, but there is nowhere I wouldn’t find you,’ he swears with such fervent intensity it’s like the words are burning themselves into Kade’s bones.
‘You can pretend it doesn’t add up all you like, but I won’t be around in seven days’ time to explain shit when you finally accept it, so maybe…
just maybe,’ he emphasises, squeezing his throat by pressing on the Apple with his thumb then stroking it, like even this small flare of violence must be apologised for, ‘…you could try facing reality, and let me give you what I can while I’m still here to give it. ’
Lachlan lets go abruptly, then forces himself to step back and face away, shoulders tight with restraint. Kade doesn’t gasp, but he swallows thickly, rubs his neck. Nothing is said for a while. There’s no way to express the conflicted anger and strange hunger he feels without sounding stupid.
Kade gathers himself, nothing a few deep breaths and counting rings can’t fix. So long as he doesn’t wonder where it came from. ‘OK.’
‘Good.’
‘You hungry?’ Kade asks, glancing at the clock.
Lachlan looks back, wipes his eyes. ‘Starved.’