CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX #3
‘Fine. Tell me about Riley’s curse.’
She begins to slowly circle. Kade mirrors it.
The leafy mulch beneath their boots crunches pleasantly.
‘It is called Le N?ud Mortel.’
His mind translates. ‘The Death Knot?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what the fuck is that?’
‘A bond forged in the dark desperate final moments beneath death’s own shadow. It becomes a way for both to remain alive, but you remain stuck in a Knot of connection.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘You are hit, he shares the bruise. He is shot, you will need gauze. Distance is painful. Feelings, among other things, are shared. It can only be made in the final moments. His Knot is rare, and the natural occurrence of it even more so. There are those who force a lesser, unnatural version of the Knot to pervert the laws of nature, but I have only ever known one other instance of this particular Knot in my lifetime.’ Blaire taps her chest. ‘Céliane and I are sisters by more than blood, bound until death takes one beyond reach.’
‘You have the same bond? The Knot?’
‘We are bound in this way and have been for a very long time now.’
‘And you’re saying he’s bound to me?’
‘Yes, darling,’ she says as though it took effort not to come across patronising. ‘You two are Knotted and have been since what happened here seven years ago.’
‘Riley wants to break it?’
‘As would I, believe me, but only death can break a Knot, and one must be careful. The death of one will transfer to the other, such is the cyclical nature of circular bindings.’
‘So if Riley died…?’
‘He would bury you.’
Kade stares into darkness, mind racing to catch up, to fill in the blanks. Several things click into place all at once.
‘That’s why he never fights. Never leaves.
He’s been dealing with my injuries. Oh my God, he’s taking them and healing them.
’ Kade touches his ears. ‘He didn’t hear me before.
He… he stayed inside to protect me all this time.
’ He looks away, heart breaking anew, head a mess of confusion.
‘Is that… oh my God is that why I’m his bodyguard? ’
‘He must love you a great deal to have adjusted in such a way,’ she says, now standing almost toe to toe with him.
Kade wipes his eyes, clawing for solid ground. ‘What happens if I die?’
‘He will die in your stead, and the Knot will be broken.’
‘Do you know how it was made?’
‘In desperate refusal of death the true Knot may be forged. The bastardised version infecting the upper echelons is another matter entirely.’
‘He wants to break it.’ Kade looks at her. ‘There has to be a way.’
‘I have already told you.’
‘A loophole, maybe, some kind of—’
‘Death is not to be toyed with, Julian. You of all people should know that.’
He frowns. ‘What does that mean?’
‘There is much you do not yet know about yourself.’
‘So fucking tell me.’
‘I can tell you that your Knot can only be forged between non-humans.’
His nerves pull taut. ‘So it’s true? I’m a Para—Brightling or whatever?’
She looks at him curiously. ‘Are you a Brightling, Jules?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Blood is the great mess maker, isn’t it? Of all that we share in this world, these bodies of star-matter forged with consciousness, it’s blood that carries so much of who we are. There’s love in all of it.’
‘Was there love in you when you betrayed Lachlan?’
‘Only he would see it that way. My sister and I had been waiting for one like him. We thought we’d never find the solution, and then one day…
he bubbles to the surface.’ She smiles with distant fondness to herself.
‘Nothing makes a mess like blood.’ She lightly touches fingertips to his face, free hand grasping his wrist for a brief squeeze.
‘It was so good to see you again, darling boy. Thank you.’
She steps away. His hand suddenly feels light.
Shit. Kade looks down at his very empty hand and when he looks back up, she’s unsurprisingly gone.
‘Oh, fucking hell.’
?
‘Explain it to me again.’
‘I was just stalling for time!’
‘Explain to me—’
‘Stop talking to me like I’m stupid!’
‘—why you didn’t go after her once she took it.’
Kade snarls through clenched teeth.
They’re talking in Riley’s room for once, the highest point of the Tower barring the roof, but Kade’s never been up there. Kade hates being in here, knows a prison when he sees one, no matter how gilded or comfortable.
Or up until recently, he thought he did.
‘You didn’t see her.’ Kade paces while Riley sits on the end of his bed. ‘She was like a more terrifying version of Lee who is already pretty fucking scary!’
‘Did you look inside the book?’
‘No, but she told me about the thing.’
‘The thing.’
Kade decides not to hold back.
‘Your curse. The… the Death Knot.’ He watches closely for a reaction, gets nothing more than Riley cutting his gaze away sharply so pushes on. ‘She told me that you and I are bound. If I get hurt, you’re hurt too, right?’
Riley sighs through his nose. His knuckles are still red.
Kade is replaying all other times he’s been injured.
Was Riley feeling and healing those too?
‘What else did she—?’
‘Is it true?’
Riley nods.
‘Say it then.’
‘It’s true.’
‘How could you not tell me?’
‘There are things I physically can’t tell you, Kade. I would if I could.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ Kade says thickly, insides tearing at themselves. ‘You’re all I knew of love in this world and you… did you only take care of me to take care of yourself? Is this it? Were you dying and I was the best you could do?’
‘Kade—’
‘Have you just been stuck with me all this time?’
‘Yes, OK? Yes, we’ve been stuck this whole time, you and me.
It hurts when we’re apart, physically agonising.
I heal your injuries, I feel everything.
All those attacks in the tunnel, you getting stabbed, your eardrums…
’ Riley winces, shaking his head. ‘We’ve been stuck this way for seven years, but I love you and I tried my best to take care of you.
I know I failed. I know that it wasn’t good enough.
What happened to you was my fault, Kade,’ Riley says in a rough, low way while tears fill his eyes.
‘It was my fault, and I don’t know how th—’ He grimaces as if in pain, rephrases.
‘How any of this happened. You’re stuck with me and it’s my fault.
I wanted the book to see if Céliane was being honest and there really is no way to break it. ’
‘She said you can’t break it without dying.’
‘Céliane told me the same.’
‘How long have you known?’
‘Always.’
‘Were you here in the Tower like Lachlan said? When… when the little girl was killed? When I…?’ Kade lifts a hand to touch the metal plate.
Riley looks away. ‘Stop it.’
‘Did you watch?’
‘I said stop.’
‘Did you even try to help?’
‘You don’t understand.’
‘Then make me understand!’ he bursts out. ‘You owe me that at least!’
‘I wanted to…’ Riley’s mouth closes like someone shut it for him and Riley, in a rare display of frustration, snarls. Kade feels the red bloom of resentful rage inside his own body, the way skin feels fire even from a distance. ‘Fuck.’
Kade goes to Riley’s dresser, searching for pen and paper.