Chapter 16
Greyson
TO: EGSage@
SUBJECT: Sorry
I ran into Shay at school today, and she told me about your mom. She said she and her mom were heading down to Florida to help your dad and you out.
I’m sorry, Ellie. I’m so damn sorry, and I know that doesn’t do anything or change anything, but I just wanted you to know. There’s not a day that passes that I don’t think about you guys, about you. I just wish there were something more I could do.
I remember when my grandpa died, I just sat around, uncertain of what to do.
I’d never lost anyone before, and it fucked me up for a good minute.
People told me to pull myself together and man up about it.
“Death happens, kid. Better get used to it,” my uncle Tommy said. “Real men don’t cry,” my dad echoed.
I think that’s bullshit, though.
Be fucked up for a good minute.
Don’t pressure yourself to feel better until you’re ready.
I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.
She was what every kid dreamed of having as a parent. I know I did a million times over.
I’m just really fucking sorry.
Grey
* * *
FROM: EGSage@
TO: GreyHoops87@
DATE: May 2, 2:02 AM
SUBJECT: Re: Sorry
Grey,
It’s two in the morning and everything hurts. By everything, I mean every single thing.
My legs ache. My back is sore. My throat is dry. My eyes burn. I can’t breathe.
Every time I think about it, I fall apart, and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s just a nonstop cycle of falling apart over and over again.
I just want her back. I’m going to be fucked up for a good minute . . . maybe even for quite a few.
Ellie