25. No Leg to Stand On #2
She sniffs and steps inside without hugging me. “We brought food,” she mutters as she passes.
I shut the door behind them, and my gut twists. Not from the meal they’ve brought, but from how badly I’ve hurt the one friend who’s been there from the start.
Dillon starts clearing the coffee table while Gabriel unpacks white styrofoam boxes onto it.
“I wasn’t sure what you like,” Gabriel admits, grimacing. “I just ordered a grilled chicken salad. I hope that’s okay?”
I smile weakly. “It’s perfect, thank you.” Then I make my way back to the bed.
Dillon sets the clutter aside and helps me settle under the covers. “There you go.”
I mutter a quiet thanks.
His smile is kind but his eyes lack their usual light.
They begin passing out food. Gabriel hands me my salad and sinks onto the floor in front of the coffee table, while Dillon reaches for a burger beside him. Lily, though, just stands there, staring.
Gabriel glances between us, confused. “Everything okay between you two?” he asks around a bite of carbonara.
I can only stare at her, words trapped in my throat.
Lily huffs. “You gonna eat that, Eleanor?”
“Lily,” Dillon warns under his breath.
But I need the confrontation, some sort of truth to hold onto. “No,” I say quietly, setting the salad aside. “Say it, Lily. Go on.”
Her hands clench, anger heating her voice. “I’m so angry with you.”
“You already said that.” I try to keep my voice flat.
Gabriel and Dillon exchange looks, unsure whether to intervene.
“How could you?” Lily’s voice breaks. “You are my best friend, Eleanor.” Tears spill down her cheeks.
A lump in my throat forms. “I’m so, so sorry, Lily.”
She shakes her head, another tear sliding down. “Sorry isn’t enough. You’ve been starving yourself for months and you thought I wouldn’t notice?”
I try to hold steady. “Honestly? No. I didn’t. None of you knew me before, and I never had friends like this. No one who actually cared.”
Lily’s face crumples. “I love you like a sister. It… it killed me to find out.” She lifts a hand, searching for the right words. “And before you ask—yes, Nik told me. How could you do this to yourself? You are worth so much. So, so much.”
My stomach twists into knots. “Growing up, my mother kept me on a strict diet. Before I was fired from the Metropolitan, my coach told me I looked like a whale on stage.” I shrug weakly.
“I just… lost control.” I sniff. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Lily.
To all of you.” My gaze lifts to them. “I never meant to betray you. I just… couldn’t stop. ”
“You don’t have to explain anything, Eleanor,” Dillon says.
Lily continues anyway. “We forgive you, of course.”
Gabriel and Dillon nod their agreement.
“But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. We want you around.”
Her words make my chest swell. Seeing what I’ve done—not only to myself but to my friends—is a rude wake-up call. “I want to get better,” I whisper, biting my lip. “But I have no idea where to start.”
Lily brightens. “You know my mom is a therapist, right? I’m sure she’d love to help.”
“Really?” I ask, skeptical.
“Of course.” Lily gestures to my phone. “Give me your phone, I’ll put my mom’s number in. You can call her.”
I reach for it on the nightstand and hand it over.
While Lily types, Gabriel clears his throat. “We do care about you, Eleanor. You’re one of us now. You can come to any of us for anything. I’m sorry if we haven’t made that clear.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Gabriel. You didn’t do this,” I say sadly.
“He’s right, though,” Dillon adds between bites. “We should’ve made it clearer that we were here for you—no matter what.”
I bow my head slightly. “Thank you, guys. I don’t deserve any of you,” I say quietly.
“Yes, you do,” Lily counters, still typing away on my phone. She hands it back and reaches for my hands. “Please call her Eleanor. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I give her hands a gentle squeeze before lifting the salad back into my lap.
Lily beams at the sight. “Good. Now give us all the drama.” She plops down beside Gabriel.
I chuckle. “There’s not much to tell.”
“Tell us anyway,” Lily replies, tearing open a ketchup packet and squeezing it onto her lid. “We’ve had a long week.”
Gabriel and Dillon nod, too busy stuffing their faces to add anything.
So while they eat, I tell them everything from the past week: Nik telling me he loves me but walking away, my achilles snapping and the surgery that followed, and finally my mother abandoning me to the wolves.
By the time I finish, all three have stopped eating, their food forgotten as they gape at me.
“Wait, wait, wait—your mother said that to you?” Dillon asks.
“Forget that!” Lily shrieks. “Nik said he loved you?”
Gabriel shakes his head, dipping a fry into her ketchup. “No wonder he’s been moody.”
Dillon barks a laugh. “If men had a period, I’d equate it to how Nik’s acting right now.”
Gabriel and Dillon slap a high five, still laughing at Dillon’s joke.
Lily palms her face. “The two of you are insufferable.”
Dillon grins. “Not as insufferable as Nik.”
Lily groans. “True. He’s been awful this week. I had to practically beg him to come to dinner after opening night with the crew.”
Gabriel chuckles, dipping another fry into Lily’s ketchup. “How’d you manage that?”
A triumphant smile spreads across Lily’s face. “I may have threatened certain body parts with great harm if he didn’t show up.”
Dillon nearly chokes, coughing and laughing at once. “That explains it! He looked like he wanted to kill someone all night.”
Gabriel nods, already reaching for another fry to dunk in Lily’s ketchup.
Lily smacks his hand away. “Get your own, sir.”
I laugh for the first time all week, grateful they’ve turned a terrible few days into a carefree night. Still, the nagging in the back of my mind won’t quit.
“Is Nik really that mad?” I ask, taking a small bite of salad.
Lily shrugs. “I don’t think he’s mad. He just looks resigned. I’ve never seen him so checked out during a performance before. He sat there with this blank stare. Barely clapped. Barely reacted. Honestly, it’s worrying.”
“What happened after he told you he loved you?” Dillon asks, wiping his hands on a napkin. “I mean, I get being upset about you dancing yourself into the ground, but not to this level.”
I sigh and set down my fork. “Well.” My throat grows tight. “I didn’t say it back.”
All three of them say, “What?” at once.
“He didn’t give me the chance.” I try to explain. “After he said it, he told me he couldn’t watch me do this to myself anymore. Said I needed a savior and that he couldn’t be mine.”
They all stare at me, their faces unreadable.
“So… Do you love him back?” Gabriel finally asks.
I push my salad around with my fork, stalling, then force myself to take a bite before answering. “I do,” I confess quietly.
Lily lets out a squeal. “Then tell him! That would turn his frown upside down faster than anything.”
I laugh softly. “No. I can’t.”
“Why not?” Dillon asks. “Like Lily said, we could really use Nik with his frown flipped.”
I shake my head, smiling faintly. “I’m no good for him. Plus, he’s my coach…” My voice trails off.
The truth sits heavy in my chest. Part of me will always love ballet, but it’s also the thing that nearly destroys me. With each passing day, the thought of going back feels less and less appealing.
Lily waves a dismissive hand. “Please. Nobody in the studio would know if the two of you dated.”
Gabriel nods in agreement. “Yeah, we wouldn’t rat you out.”
I giggle. “That’s sweet of you both.” I take another bite of salad, chewing slowly. “But he hasn’t even called, texted, or come by to check on me. Not once. I think the ship has sailed. He wants nothing to do with me.”
“He hasn’t come to visit you?” Lily asks, her voice sharp with surprise. “But you’ve hung out outside rehearsals before. I don’t understand.”
“Wait, what?” Gabriel blinks.
Dillon’s brows draw together as his eyes dart between the three of us.
Lily tilts her head. “Yeah. He told me you went to his place to cook once. And that he’s taken you to Pot & Kettle a few times.”
“For real?” Dillon asks, stunned.
I look down, hiding behind another bite.
Gabriel swings his gaze to Dillon. “How does he tell her and not us? We’re supposed to be his best friends.” He jerks a thumb toward Lily.
“That’s what I’m wondering,” Dillon mutters.
Lily only smirks as she rips open another ketchup packet. “I’m basically his sister. Plus, I have a gift for nagging him until he caves.”
I chuckle softly, but the sound quickly fades into a quiet ache. “I miss him,” I admit, barely above a whisper.
Lily smacks the table dramatically. “Then go to him!”
Dillon shakes his head, eyes serious. “No way. He hasn’t even come to visit you.” He turns to me. “Don’t cave. Let him stew in his misery.”
Lily jabs Gabriel lightly on the arm. “Tell him, will you?” she urges, gesturing toward Dillon.
Gabriel sighs, throwing up his hands. “I won’t lie—I kind of agree with Dillon on this one.”
Lily pinches her lips, exasperated. “Of course you do.”
“I mean,” Gabriel continues, “why should Eleanor give him the time of day if he isn’t even checking up on her?”
Lily points at me sharply. “Because they love each other and should reconcile.”