29. Are You There, God? #3
I consider protesting, but their stares hold me in place, everything between us growing cumbersome. “Alright,” I mutter, sinking into the couch next to them. “Now will someone tell me what this is about?”
Lily sets Louie down, crosses her arms, and fixes me with a look that reminds me far too much of Evelyn’s. “We’re staging your intervention.”
“My… intervention?” I repeat, completely baffled. “What on earth do I need an intervention for?”
“Lily, why don’t you come sit,” Gabriel says firmly, his gaze locking on her like a parent corralling a wayward child.
“I’m good right here.” She crosses her arms, chin lifted in defiance.
Gabriel drags a hand down his face, muttering something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like a curse.
Dillon clears his throat. “We’re here because we’re worried about you, Nik.”
My eyes dart between them, confused. “Okay…”
“You haven’t been yourself,” Gabriel states, his tone steady but sharp. “We know you’ve had a rough couple of months, but we’re here to pull you out of the rut you’ve dug yourself into.”
“Or use force if we have to,” Lily adds, deadly serious.
“Lily,” Gabriel hisses, glaring at her.
I shake my head, exasperated. “I’m fine. You don’t need to do all of this.” I gesture between the three of them.
Lily steps forward, fire in her eyes. “This is necessary. You’ve been a total jerk since Eleanor fell in December, and after Irina passed away, you’ve been so consumed by your own sadness that you’ve forgotten you still have friends who love you and care about you.”
Her words hit harder than I expect. I sit back, stunned. “I appreciate that, really. But I’m handling it.”
“Doesn’t look like it to me,” Lily shoots back, her voice breaking at the edges. She presses her lips into a tight line. “You’re like a brother to me, and it’s been killing me to watch you waste away like this.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Dillon leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “She has a point, Nik. You’ve been shutting everyone out,” he says. “I get grief—we’ve all been there, too. But locking yourself away doesn’t heal anything. It just makes the loneliness worse.”
I swallow the growing lump in my throat.
Gabriel finally speaks, voice low but firm. “We’re not saying don’t grieve. We’re saying don’t drown in it. Irina wouldn’t want that for you. And Eleanor…” He presses his lips into a thin line, pausing. “You’ve been running from her too. Pretending like you don’t care, when we can all see you do.”
Lily throws her hands up. “Finally, someone said it!”
“Lily,” Gabriel warns, his voice sharp.
She ignores him, eyes drilling into me. “You love her, Nik. And I swear, if you let her slip away because you’re too scared to face the truth, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
I glance at Dillon, hoping for an out, but even he nods in agreement.
“We’re not saying you have to have everything figured out,” he says gently. “But you do need to stop hiding from everyone.”
The room grows painfully still. Louie hops onto my lap, pressing close like he can shield me from their words.
And maybe that’s when I realize this isn’t about them dragging me into an intervention, but about people loving me too much to let me keep wasting away.
I clench my jaw, staring at the floor so I don’t have to meet their eyes. My fingers dig into Louie’s fur as though I can anchor myself there.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, the words sounding emptier the second time.
“No, you’re not!” Lily’s voice cracks, louder than before. “You shut us out after Daria. You’re shutting us out again. And this time you’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting Eleanor too.”
Her words slice through me like a knife.
“Lily—” Gabriel tries to stop her, but she keeps going.
“She loves you, Nik! And I’ve watched her struggle, cry, and still fight for you in her own way.
And what do you do? Hide. Mope. Pretend like pushing her away will protect you.
It won’t!” Her hands ball into fists. “One day you’re going to wake up and realize she’s gone, and it’ll be because you let her slip through your fingers. ”
I can’t hold it in anymore. The pressure that’s been building since Mama’s funeral shatters wide open.
“I know!” The word tears through my chest, raw and ragged. My hands tremble as I press them to my face.
Louie jumps down, startled.
“I know I’m screwing this up. I know I’m losing her. I just…” My voice breaks. “I don’t know how to do this without my mother. I don’t know how to carry this pain and still love someone else at the same time.”
The room falls silent. Only the sound of my uneven breathing fills the space.
Then, softly, Dillon says, “That’s why you don’t do it alone.”
I bury my face in my hands, unable to stop the tears now. The room blurs, my chest tightening until I think I might break apart right there in front of them.
Dillon’s voice cuts through cautiously. “Nik…”
Before I can respond, Lily sinks down on the floor in front of me, placing both her hands over mine. Her eyes shimmer, fierce but tender. “You’ve carried us all when we needed it. It’s our turn now.”
Gabriel shifts forward on the couch, his hand landing heavy and grounding on my shoulder. Dillon leans in too, placing his palm on my other side.
“Let’s pray,” Dillon says simply.
“Father.” Gabriel’s voice rumbles low. “We lift Nik up to You. You know his grief, his pain, the weight he’s been carrying alone. We ask You to meet him here, right now, in the middle of his brokenness.”
Lily squeezes my hands. Her words come softer, trembling with emotion. “God, remind him he isn’t alone. Surround him with Your comfort the way You surrounded us when we didn’t know how to keep going. Show him that leaning on others doesn’t make him weak—it makes him more like You.”
Dillon’s voice joins theirs, warm and unwavering. “Lord, we ask You to bring peace that only You can give. Heal his heart. Help him let go of the fear that keeps him pushing people away. And give him courage to love fully, even when it hurts.”
Their words wash over me like balm, breaking down walls I hadn’t realized I’d built. I shake beneath their touch, the tears spilling faster, but for the first time since Mama died, I feel… seen.
Not just by them, but by Him.
All I can whisper, over and over again through the sobs, is, “Thank You, Jesus.”