Chapter Twenty Bigmouth Strikes Again #3
Julian launched himself over the counter and decked Rahul in the jaw. Mel had never witnessed her brother hit anyone. In fact, she had never even heard of him ever hitting anyone. Seeing it was downright shocking. It was like looking at a stranger.
The punch wasn’t exceedingly hard. The disquieting, wet smack of flesh on flesh was still there, but Rahul hadn’t reeled back very far. He looked more hurt emotionally than physically. Though he did bring his fingers up to his lip and they came away wet with bright blood.
“We’re through, you hear me?” Julian growled low. He sounded vicious, compounding the illusion that he was altogether someone else. “We’re done. I never want to see your sodding face again, yeah?”
He turned on his heel and stormed out of the shop.
Rahul leapt over the counter like a runner over a hurdle and chased after him out onto the street.
Stunned, it took Mel several beats before she clambered up and ran after them both.
She was not about to miss this show. You kidding?
This was the most interesting thing that’d ever happened at Collier Vinyl. Maybe even in all of South London.
Out on the pavement, Rahul was calling after Julian but the latter refused to turn round.
Rahul had the height advantage though, and his long legs caught up to him in no time.
He grabbed hold of Julian’s elbow and Julian stopped dead in his tracks, violently shaking Rahul’s hand off.
He levelled Rahul with a murderous glare.
“I’m sorry -- I’m so, so sorry, Jules,” Rahul pleaded. “I-I didn’t mean it. It just slipped out. I don’t know what came over me.”
“You told him we slept together!” Julian cried.
Mel wished she had popcorn. This was getting good. She inched over to the side where she could get a better view.
“We swore we’d never talk about it. Ever. You promised me.”
“I know,” Rahul replied, looking genuinely ashamed. “I didn’t mean --”
“You know he chucked me because of it?”
Rahul looked stricken. “He never.”
“He bloody well did. As if that weren’t exactly what you wanted all along.” Julian’s voice cracked around the edges and it was clear to Mel then that the redness of his eyes wasn’t from anger but recent tears.
“I never wanted that.” When Julian snorted, he insisted, “Of course I didn’t.
Really I didn’t. But… when you think about it…
isn’t this really for the best? I mean, he was a bit dodgy, wasn’t he?
Bit of a stalker. You think the first time you’d met was when he quote-unquote ‘rescued’ you, but he’d been ogling you for ages at the Barber before then. ”
“D’you think I’m an idiot?” Julian barked, making Rahul jump. “Of course I’d seen him looking at me. I was looking back. I fancied him, you pillock! I’ve always fancied him; I just never knew how to go about it.”
Rahul visibly deflated.
“Why d’you always have to ruin things?” Julian continued, voice becoming high and pinched.
“You’re always pushing people away from me.
Like you can’t stand to see me happy with anyone who isn’t you.
” He tugged desperately at his hair, as if trying to relieve the pressure inside his skull.
“Is it that you want me to be as miserable as you are, is that it? You want us to be miserable together?”
“No, I --”
“Everyone who gets close to me, you chase ‘em off. You pushed Aisling out of my life, now you’ve gone and pushed Michael out. Why are you doing this to me?”
“I-I don’t mean to, I --”
“Why? Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”
“Because I love you, you big berk!”
Rahul’s words rang out like an explosion in the street, leaving an unnatural quiet in their wake. Even the sounds of cars and buses were muted after the shock of the confession.
Julian gaped open-mouthed at Rahul, an expression somewhere between horror and bewilderment.
Quietly, Rahul added, “I’m in love with you, all right? Always have been. Since we were kids.”
Julian hadn’t moved. He was looking at Rahul as if he’d grown an extra head or suddenly sprouted horns.
Emotion choked Rahul’s voice but he swallowed it and bravely barrelled on.
“And that night -- the one we had together -- I lied. It hadn’t meant nothing.
It meant everything to me. It still does.
Julian…” He said his name as if he were going to add something, but he came to a full stop instead, looking exhausted and embarrassed and just the slightest bit hopeful.
Moments passed, cars passed, a light drizzle started up leaving annoying droplets on Mel’s glasses.
The silence seemed to stretch to infinity, so thin and taut as to snap at any moment.
Then Julian blinked and seemed to wake from some kind of trance.
His face, once filled with anger, was now suffused with a bone-deep sadness.
He shook his head and backed away several steps.
“We’re through, Rahul,” was all he said before he turned and walked away. Rahul didn’t go after him this time. Instead, he sagged against the brick facade of a nearby shop, as though his body had lost the strength to keep him upright.