13. The Quiet Things No One Ever Knows
The Quiet Things No One Ever Knows
PART I: CHLOE LI every inch of the fabric had to be flawless down to the last detail or she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it. The colors and patterns needed to match without being too busy, and of course she needed to make sure she would have complementary accessories…
So instead of feeling like “retail therapy”, it just felt like regular therapy; stressful, annoying, and a bit too much like homework.
But unfortunately, she had no choice; the Winter Formal was a mere two months away after all.
Sure, it seemed like she had all the time in the world to find the perfect dress, but the daughter of local fashion legend Alicia Moore could NOT be seen wearing just anything to such an important event.
So, she knew she needed to get a head start before things got crowded.
Luckily, she didn’t have to brave the trip to Bellevue Square on her own; Bailey had been more than willing to accompany her, either out of an effort to keep her sane, or just to enjoy the fancy shops.
She usually would’ve gone with Krissy and Kristen, but the thought of being in a car with just the two of them as they droned on and on about cheerleading drama, or whose boyfriend they were going to steal?
There were fates worse than death, and Chloe was sure spending a day outside of school with them was first on the list.
“This place is fucking insane!” Bailey said, staring up at the high angular ceiling and skylights as she trailed behind Chloe, “Pacific Cove could only dream of having a mall like this,”
“Unfortunately the 400 people that live there wouldn’t be enough to keep the doors open,” Chloe replied, looking down at the notepad in her hands, “okay, in order to maximize our time, we need to hit the following stores in order. It’s about 10am now, so from 10 to 11 we’ll be in Albatross and Finch, then we’ll hit up Lacey’s from 11 to 11:45.
And if we’re really desperate, we’ll drop by Sheers on the way out before I inevitably cry all the way home,”
“You have a detailed schedule?” Bailey giggled a bit, “why don’t we just shop around until you find something you like?”
Chloe stopped in her tracks and whipped her head around at Bailey like she’d just been called a slur.
“We can never be friends if you don’t learn to appreciate the beauty and wonder of a good schedule,” Chloe shook her head, “now, let’s keep moving before we fall behind,”
“Fiiine,” Bailey replied, trying to keep up as Chloe sauntered ahead as if she wasn’t wearing thigh high boots with six-inch heels.
A few minutes later, Chloe was cramped into a tiny “dressing room”, pulling on a form-fitting, glittery silver dress that still left her shoulders exposed. It wasn’t quite perfect, but she could make some alterations to give it that perfect level of gravitas that it needed.
She stepped out into the unflattering fluorescent lighting, and looked herself over in the floor length mirror across from the fitting rooms. The silver did pop gorgeously against her brown skin, and she could have a field day with metallic makeup colors to match it.
Maybe metal really did suit her as an element…
No. That’s not what today was about. She was here to find a dress, not to think about Elemental Sages and ancient emperors or whatever the fuck.
With a calming breath, she cleared her mind and shifted her focus to Bailey, whom she half-expected to be completely awestruck at how fucking amazing she looked in the dress…
But instead all she saw was the top of her neon-pink head since she was completely consumed by whoever she was texting. Chloe folded her arms, and expectantly cleared her throat to command Bailey’s attention, and she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden sound.
“Shit! Sorry Chloe, I was just… OH MY GOD??? YOU LOOK AMAZING!”
“I know,” Chloe rolled her eyes with feigned offense, before a genuine smile settled on her face, “but it’s nice of you to actually notice. Who are you texting anyway? You were way too engrossed for it to be casual,”
Bailey’s cheeks reddened as she flipped her phone closed, the little heart shaped charm rattling from the force of it.
“No one! I mean, like obviously it was someone, but no one important,”
“No one important?” Chloe raised an inquisitive eyebrow, “girl please, you don’t have a texting plan. For 10 cents a message, I know damn well it’s important,”
Bailey sighed as Chloe sat next to her on the tiny, glossy white bench outside the fitting stalls.
“It was just Chris,” she mumbled, “he’s all excited about some new video game coming out and he just needs someone to ramble to,”
Ah, that explained it. Chloe was nothing if not observant, and she’d have to be as blind as a mole rat not to see what those two had going on.
“And that ‘someone’ is you, huh?” Chloe grinned, “I was wondering if you noticed how much that blonde puppy is into you,”
“Of course I’ve noticed, he’s not subtle,” Bailey giggled, though it almost sounded… wounded, “I just don’t really know if he’s noticed, y’know? If he even realizes it’s possible,”
“And why wouldn’t it be?”
Bailey fidgeted with the hem of her jean skirt for a long moment, her gaze fixed squarely on the black carpet. Eventually, she found her voice and replied.
“Because I don’t really know if he truly sees me as a girl.
No matter how hard I try, it feels like no one does.
Not really,” a few stray tears fell, soaking into the carpet and disappearing in an instant, “it feels like I’m constantly performing, you know?
Not the ‘being a girl’ part, but the constant need to prove I’m one.
Some days I’d love to come to class in sweats and old combat boots, but instead I have to wake up extra early to put on a whole face of makeup and regularly touch up my neon dye job.
It’s fucking exhausting. Maybe that’s why my stupid powers haven’t manifested yet.
I can’t “ground the team” if my walls are always up,”
“Bailey,” Chloe cut her off, pulling her into a hug before more tears could fall, “it doesn’t matter how you dress, how much makeup you wear, or anything else. You’re a girl regardless, you know that. And Chris knows that too,”
“I know, I know” Bailey sniffled, “usually I couldn’t give less of a fuck about what people think, but with Chris it’s just… different. I guess I’m just afraid of what might happen if he reacts in a way that’s even kinda negative, you know? That might be the straw that finally breaks me,”
“He won’t Bailey, he’s crazy about you. Maybe you making the first move is just the last push he needs to fully realize that,” Chloe replied, digging a travel pack of tissues out of her clutch and passing them to Bailey, “besides, even if he doesn’t wanna date you, never let a boy be the straw that breaks you,”
The girls laughed in unison as Bailey blotted her eyes carefully to avoid smearing her mascara.
As the tension finally let up, Chloe felt a warmth settle in her chest that she hadn’t known since childhood; real friendship.
Unfettered from social dynamics or high school politics. Just two girls hanging out.
“I’m pretty sure this dress is the one, so we’ve got plenty of time to kill. Why don’t we find you something hot to wear, so when you ask Chris out he can’t possibly resist,”
Bailey’s eyes widened.
“You want me to buy something from Albatross and Finch? How much do you think I make working part time at Dollar General?”
“Who said you were paying?” Chloe hopped to her feet, helping Bailey stand, “let’s go,”
PART II: JAMES ZHANG
James loved his parents. He really, genuinely did. But sometimes they had a way of being… far too much.
They weren’t assholes in the way you’d likely expect from a multi-millionaire couple; not cold, distant, or hyper-controlling the way his grandparents wanted them to be.
They’d made it very clear that they wanted their parenting style to be laid back; they had always given James the space he needed to explore his interests and identity…
but unfortunately sometimes they were a bit too invested.
And that was why he was currently sitting at the head of their obnoxiously long dining room table, picking over a bowl of salad (he couldn’t find a way to tell his parents that he couldn’t eat it anymore…
not since he could literally feel the anguish of the lettuce thanks to his ring) while they tried to inconspicuously grill him about his dating life.
Apparently Chloe’s lip gloss had been eaten by the couch cushions during one of their training sessions, and ever since his mom found it, she hadn’t stopped asking questions.
“I told you guys, she’s just my friend!” James insisted, aimlessly twirling his fork around, “while you guys were camping with your nature buddies, I invited some friends over to study. It was no big deal,”
“Studying huh?” his father smirked, dabbing at the corners of his heavily mustached mouth with a napkin, “well… I hope you’re using protection son,”
“Jesus Christ,” James groaned, “FRIENDS,”
“We understand,” his mother quickly added, sipping her wine, “I didn’t think you’d be into casual group sex, but we’re not here to judge,”
“Am I talking to the wall right now?” James mumbled to himself, stabbing a tomato like it had personally offended him, and then recoiling when he felt its pain shooting up his arm.
He knew he should just tell them about Dustin, he wanted to, it was just that…
they had a history of scaring off anyone he’d ever brought home.
They brought a certain, “we overshare everything and have zero boundaries” vibe to the function that very few teenagers appreciated.
James knew Dustin; he was still learning to push his way out of the shell he’d constructed for himself, so the last thing he’d respond well to was James’s parents asking if he topped or bottomed for their son.