NINETEEN
WHAT WAS CHOSEN
Another dispatch arrived. An attack on the Fire Clan border! Gods, this war is moving too fast.
—VALEN’S JOURNAL
AMARA
Iexhale sharply, my pulse still thrumming from the confrontation. Thane stands beside me, composed in a way I currently am not while my emotions churn wildly beneath the surface.
I glance at him, arching a brow.
“So,” I say lightly, “that’s the ex. Should I expect more of them to appear from dark corners of the ballroom?”
He grimaces immediately, already knowing where this is headed.
“Shit, Thane. You really couldn’t have warned me first?”
Thane rubs the back of his neck, looking almost rueful. “I should have told you.”
“You think?”
“But in my defense,” he counters, “I wasn’t really thinking about her, much less expecting her to start a conversation with you.”
“And yet, she did.”
I know I should drop it. I know Ardyn is part of his past, not present. But gods, I can’t help myself.
“How long were you two together?”
Thane drags a hand along his jaw, watching me too carefully. As if he’s bracing himself for the blow.
“Almost four years,” he says quietly.
It shouldn’t matter. But godsdammit it does.
“That’s a long time.”
“It was.”
“And she thought she was going to marry you?”
His lips twitch slightly, the beginning of a smile he doesn’t quite let happen, like he’s starting to see exactly where this is going.
“She did.”
“And you never told me about her because . . . ?”
Thane rubs his temples. “Because it wasn’t relevant.”
“Oh, right,” I deadpan. “Why would your ex—who was fully expecting to be Lady of the Fire Clan—be relevant to me?”
Thane’s brow lifts slightly, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing.
“Did she live here? In the capital?”
“She did.”
“She grew up in all this, then?” I gesture toward the ballroom, the nobles in their silks, the effortless grace of people who were raised in wealth and power.
“Yes.”
My lips press into a thin line. “Is she a soldier?”
Thane blinks several times. “No, but she has been trained like one. It’s the way of the Fire Clan that noble women can learn to fight if they so choose.”
“And I bet she’s a dragon rider.”
“She isn’t,” he replies, watching me carefully.
“Well, I guess that’s one thing she doesn’t have.” I shake my head, eyes cast downward. “Sounds like she was perfect for you.”
“That girl is not a dragon rider because she isn’t worthy enough to be called,” Calryx cuts in.
“Good gods, Calryx! This isn’t about you! Get out of my head.”
“The moment you compared yourself to her, it became about me.”
I blink. “What?”
“Dragons choose their riders. Do you think so little of my judgment?”
“Calryx, can we please speak later?” I plead.
A huff echoes through the bond.
“You need to stop speaking about yourself as though you are ordinary.”
Then the connection goes quiet and I release an exasperated breath.
That’s when Thane goes still. His gaze lingers on me a heartbeat too long. I watch the realization settle behind his eyes. He’s figured it out. Figured out that this conversation was never about her.
A slow smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“Amara.”
The warmth in his voice immediately puts me on edge.
“What?”
“Are you jealous?”
“Of course not,” I snap far too quickly.
And gods help me, I already know I’ve lost.
He hums. Actually hums.
“You are.”
“I am not,” I insist, stiffly.
“You’re asking an awful lot of questions for someone who isn’t jealous.”
“I was just curious,” I grumble.
“Mm.”
I narrow my eyes. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you think this is funny.”
His smirk deepens. “Oh, but it is funny.”
I turn away, too fast, my skirts sweeping around me as I try to escape the fact that he sees straight through me.
His hand tightens on my waist, turning me back toward him. Thane’s fingers trace the Earth Element tattoo at the base of my spine, calming me. His voice lowers, quiet enough for only me to hear.
“She was never you, Amara.”
Godsdammit, my eyes prick with tears. I blink them away.
“Not for a single second.”
The teasing fades from his expression entirely now. Because he always knows when my thoughts start turning against me.
“Ardyn belonged here, yes,” he says quietly. “She knew how to play the games. How to handle court life. How to be what everyone expected.”
His thumb brushes against my lower back, weakening my knees. He already knows exactly where to touch me to steal my gravity.
“But I never wanted someone who knows how to play the game.”
My chest aches suddenly because I know exactly what he means. Because I can feel it in the bond humming between us.
“I honestly never knew what ‘wanted’ was until you.” His expression turns serious as he continues, “I didn’t know what attraction, what need, what desire was until you, Amara.”
He says it like a truth that has always existed.
“I wanted you before you bonded with Calryx. Before you kissed me for the first time.”
His eyes burn into mine, golden flecks shifting through the smoke-gray.
“I know now that the emptiness I had was my need for you. I wanted you before I even knew you.”
His fingers press just slightly firmer at my waist, as though anchoring the words there between us.
“I wanted you when you defied me. When you stood in my way. When you made me question everything I thought I knew.” His voice lowers even further. “I wanted you the moment I stepped through that portal and saw you standing in the middle of a storm.”
I look away, swallowing hard, trying to gather myself. I had already completely fallen for him. Now I don’t even know what to do with myself.
“And gods help me, I will always want you.”
I force out a breathless scoff, trying desperately to recover.
“You’re still enjoying this, aren’t you?”
The corner of his mouth curves again. “Immensely.”
And gods, I want to kill him. Or maybe just kiss him until I forget why I was mad.
The bond pulses again, a deep, rhythmic thrum, moving quietly through me like a reminder. A reminder of the way Thane held me closer. Of the certainty in his voice. Of the way he chose me again.
And again.
And again.
I know he feels it too because he gently squeezes my waist. Because for one fleeting second, something unguarded flickers across his face.
Neither one of us says anything, but we both feel it. Whatever this bond is becoming, it’s no longer the same thing it was before.
“Okay, okay—I need details.”
Lyra’s voice slices through the moment, shattering whatever had settled between me and Thane.
I barely have time to turn before she’s suddenly beside me, grinning like an excited gremlin who just witnessed elite social combat.
“You and Ardyn! Garrick told me who she is!” she says, immediately invading my personal space. “I swear I saw sparks flying. And not the fire-wielding kind.”
Thane steps back, hands raised in surrender, looking deeply relieved that Lyra has redirected my attention away from him.
Of course he is relieved. And he’s enjoying my suffering.
Lyra glances over her shoulder at Garrick approaching. “Right, Garrick?”
“Sorry, brother.” Garrick gives Thane a sympathetic look. “She insisted on interrupting. Said she had to make sure Amara was okay.”
He lifts his fingers into exaggerated air quotes.
“It’s part of ‘best friend duties.’”
Garrick chuckles as he claps his friend on the back. Thane grins, placing a hand on Garrick’s shoulder.
Garrick raises his brows. “Does this mean the execution is off?” he asks.
I smile, glad to see Thane forgiving his brother for interrupting us the other morning.
“Yes,” Thane says with a laugh. “Two days of banishment was enough.”
“So.” Lyra clasps her hands together, practically vibrating with excitement. “What did she say? Did she try to fight you? Did you challenge her to a duel?”
“Ly—”
“No, wait—did you threaten her? Please tell me you threatened her.”
“Lyra.”
“Come on, I need details, Mara. This is the best thing to happen all night.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “It was . . . fine.”
Lyra gasps dramatically, placing a hand over her heart like I’ve just betrayed her personally.
“It was fine?” she repeats, horrified. “Oh, no. No, no, no. That’s not what I saw. I saw tension. I saw fire. I saw Amara making the former Lady of the Fire Clan sweat.”
Thane, clearly entertained, makes absolutely no attempt to save me.
I shoot him a glare.
He flashes a shameless smile.
I hate him.
(I love him.)
“Did she say anything awful?” Lyra presses, leaning in like we’re plotting a murder.
“She tested me,” I admit.
“Of course she did. And you passed, obviously.” Lyra scoffs dramatically. “That shrew. I’ll fight her in the courtyard.”
“Did I?” I ask dryly. “She still walked away with all her hair intact.”
“That is disappointing,” Lyra sighs heavily. “But I’ll allow it.” Her eyes narrow suddenly. “So? What did Thane do? Garrick pulled me away for staring so I missed that part.”
I blink. “What?”
“When he saw you two talking? Did he storm over and kiss you dramatically? Was there a fight? Did he throw her out of the castle?”
“Lyra—”
“Honestly, I’d be disappointed if none of those things happened.”
I sigh. “He just told her the conversation was over.”
Lyra taps a finger to her chin, considering. “Hmm. Efficient, I suppose. Less entertaining, though.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Thane murmurs, his lips curving into that one-sided smile that completely unravels me.
“You should be. But it’s fine, I’ll forgive you.”
She narrows her eyes at him, studying him with exaggerated suspicion.
“You know . . . ” she remarks, “Ardyn. Amara.”
Thane’s smile falters.
“Should we be concerned that your type appears to be . . . the first letter of the alphabet?”
“Oh, she’s got you there, brother!” Garrick doubles over laughing, thumping Thane on the shoulder. “I never noticed that!”
“So if another woman named Astrid walks in,” Lyra continues without missing a beat, “should we be worried?”
A laugh bubbles out of me before I can catch it. Gods, I love this woman.
Thane pinches the bridge of his nose. “Lyra . . . ”
“I’m just asking questions,” she replies innocently.