THIRTY JAY
THIRTY
JAY
Ilooked down at her, those crystal-blue eyes swimming with so many emotions. In some ways, I was as confused as she was about how I was acting towards her. Emotions had no place in battle or war, and right now we were always at war with the demons.
My father had told me that it was his duty to keep our family line going, so he married.
I knew my parents cared for each other after being together for so long, but I wouldn’t say they loved each other.
Only honor demanded that they couldn’t get a divorce.
Mother lived in Japan because that is where her whole family lived; if she’d moved here to be with my father, she would have been alone.
He had even taken me away from her when I was thirteen to start training with his men on our base of operations in Dubai.
Long ago, I decided that I didn’t want that for my life and never planned on getting married or having someone special.
“Not that I really mind waking up to find you in my bed, but what brings you to these parts?” I asked, running my fingers through his thick hair.
“Nope, too early, come back later with your questions,” Micah said, his voice muffled from the pillow.
Growing up as a soldier, I did as I was instructed to do and worked with the team that I was placed with.
Father disapproved of the other four Elementi Warriors, but it was the one thing he didn’t hold power to change.
Now adding Lailah into the mix, the emotions that I felt for her were nothing I’d fathomed.
I had read in many books how women could use tactics to distract men, but it had never worked on me.
I wasn’t swayed by a pretty face. At least I thought so—until this morning, when I walked in on Lailah and Brayden.
A man's needs were a distraction, so I slept with women to keep it from ruining my focus before a big job. I had also taken to watching, using it as sort of a desensitization tactic—that’s what I told everyone, at least. It was my guilty pleasure to see a woman lost in passion, watching a man put the woman’s needs first. Nothing would compare to seeing Lailah’s angelic expression as Brayden brought her to climax.
Being this close to her was suddenly more difficult, but I would never let my body dictate how I acted. I was a master of my choices.
“Why did you really watch this morning?” Lailah blurted out.
I was surprised it had taken her this long to bring it up. Women either loved it or thought it was some creepy fetish. Once again, Lailah didn’t respond the way I thought she would. “I already told you why.”
“Right, about that.” Her porcelain skin glowed pink as she blushed.
I kept my expression blank, not wanting to influence what she was going to say. If she told me she didn’t want me to do it again, I wouldn’t. I would never make her feel unsafe around me.
“Brayden might have mentioned that you’ve done that before with some of the other guys.”
Ah, I could see where this was going.
“Hudson and I talked yesterday about him being fine with Brayden and I sharing a room.” I gave a small nod, seeing she was looking for confirmation from me as well.
“He might have also mentioned that the rest of you want me, but I want to make sure that’s true.
I don’t want anyone feeling forced into this just because some angel tells us that’s how it should be. ”
I blinked, a little shocked this was what she wanted to ask. Yet again, she never does things how I think she should. “Are you asking me if I have feelings towards you?”
Her blush deepened. “Yes, I guess that is what I’m asking. I just don’t want to read into what happened this morning if it's something you do with lots of other women.”
I had to clench my jaw at the thought of watching someone other than Lailah again. After that sight, I don’t think anyone else would measure up to her. “There are no other women.”
“Oh, I see,” she said, trailing off, unsure of what to do with that statement.
I tucked a finger under her chin and made her look up at me. “I don’t need anyone else when I have you. Yes, Lailah, I do have feelings for you, and they started far before I found out that you were Synergy.”
I gently placed a soft kiss on her forehead to make sure she understood me. I knew many times my words fell short of how I really felt about things.
She grinned up at me, her face shining with delight, causing me to relax right before I was knocked to the ground. Apparently, she had been paying attention in her kickboxing classes.