LAILAH
TWENTY
Dead.
That’s what Brayden just said to me.
Parker was dead. He died to get us out of that prison of hell.
No—I refused to believe that. There was no way he could be dead after all we did to stay alive.
Parker wouldn’t betray me again by making a deal with the Dark Lord even if it was to ensure my freedom.
Obviously, Brayden was wrong, and we needed to go back and get him or make sure he had a way to find us.
“Angel, he isn’t coming,” Brayden said, kneeling in front of me.
“He kept his promise and made sure you got out of there alive. If he hadn’t done what he did, I don’t think we’d be free right now, and God knows if we’d have ever made it out of there alive.
Parker saved all of us because he loved you and would do anything for you. ”
Fuck that!
“Stop talking about him in the past tense! He isn’t dead and there’s nothing you can say to convince me otherwise.
Parker is mine, and I didn’t tell him he could leave me!
” I roared, shooting to my feet and knocking Brayden on his ass.
“Say he’s dead one more time and we’ll see who’s going to join him in the afterlife! ”
The devastated look on Brayden’s face made me even more furious.
“Don’t you fucking look at me like that, Brayden. I am not to be pitied. You want to know why, because that motherfucker isn’t dead. I didn’t tell him he could die and I own his ass right now. He betrayed me and that means I own his life, not the Dark Lord—me!”
“Lailah,” Jay barked, drawing my attention. “Sit. Down.”
The urge to fight him on this was strong, but I knew Jay was being serious and wouldn’t have second thoughts about making sure I followed his order.
Rage burned in my veins and I needed an outlet, which right now seemed to be picking a fight with the one man I knew I couldn’t win against. “Make me.”
“Oh fuck,” Micah muttered, running his hands through his hair as he shook his head. “Come on, guys, let’s go find some food.”
Hudson reached down and helped Brayden to his feet, ignoring the standoff that was happening between Jay and me. A few moments later, I heard the door close, but I refused to let my gaze drop from Jay’s, knowing he would see it as weakness.
“What are you hoping to get out of this, Lailah Mackenzie?” Jay asked, using my full name, telling me he wasn’t happy with me. “Do you think you’re the only one who is hurt at the loss of Parker?”
I scoffed at that. “After what he did to me, you all hated him and turned your back on him. Hell, you told him he better not come around again unless I asked for him and made sure all his bags were packed. How upset can you be?”
“I might not express my emotions like you do, but I’m not so cold and unfeeling to be unaffected by the death of a man I knew almost my whole life,” Jay growled back.
“Don’t you stand there and act like you aren’t at fault for rejecting him either.
You wanted him out of the house and out of your life.
He didn’t just betray you that day, he betrayed us all when he chose Lilith over us.
We are the five Elemental Warriors and today we lost one of our own, who I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with in more battles than you know of.
You’ve been in this world for not even a year and you think you have the right to take your anger out on the rest of us? ”
Jay’s words stung as they landed too close to home and the guilt that I was feeling, but they also fueled my anger.
“If it wasn’t for me showing up when I did, you would have succumbed to your father’s wishes and ended up one of those mindless people fighting to make the world a living hell for other demons.
I might not have the same skin in the game but in my short time, I’ve been asked to give up everything and everyone I know and love for this—even my own life!
Fuck you and your superior logic. I’ve been head-to-head with the Dark Lord more than any of you, giving up part of my soul that I wasn’t sure I would ever get back.
Tell me, how am I not as invested in this as you. Please, tell me. I would love to know.”
As I spoke, I’d been advancing on him until we were an inch apart from each other.
I could feel his breath on my face as he stared me down, unflinching at my words, only crossing his arms as he waited to see if I was finished speaking.
When I let the silence stretch, he just continued to study me as if he was waiting for something to happen.
“He can’t be dead,” I rasped. “Parker isn’t gone. He can’t be gone because I didn’t get the chance to tell him that I loved him and that I would forgive him. He needs to know that I wanted to work things out, that he was mine. Jay, he can’t be gone. He.... no.... I didn’t tell him.”
This must have been what Jay was waiting for.
His face softened and he caught me as my legs gave out.
Lifting me, he climbed onto the bed and sat against the headboard, letting me sob into his chest. I could no longer deny what they were telling me.
I thought I knew what it felt like to have my heart break when Parker betrayed me and the Oath broke, but this pain was unlike anything someone could even try to describe to me.
It was as if I’d lost something integral to who I was as a person and there was no way to get it back. It was just gone.
When I finally cried myself out, Jay scooped me up and carried me into the bathroom and set me down to turn on the shower.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken one and the idea of being able to wash the filth away from this experience was exactly what I needed.
Unable to extend the effort to do anything, I just stood there watching the water shoot out of the showerhead.
As if sensing that I needed someone to just take charge, Jay had me lift my arms and peeled my shirt off me.
Next went the bra and then he kneeled to help me out of my pants and undies as I rested a hand on his shoulder so I didn’t fall over.
Naked, I started to shiver in the cool tile bathroom until he steered me into the shower and under the warm water.
When he stepped back, I thought he was leaving me and I clutched his arm desperately.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. “I can’t handle being alone right now.”
“I’m not going to leave you, Beautiful. I just need to get out of my clothes. Showers aren’t as effective with them still on,” Jay assured me as I released his arm. “I’ll be right here in your sight the entire time. I won’t disappear on you.”
Was it that obvious what I was worried about? Of course it would be. This was Jay, the man who knew everything about me, even things I didn’t know about myself. He would give me what I needed, even if I didn’t yet know what that might be.
Moving quickly, he stripped out of his clothes and stepped in behind me, guiding me to the middle of the shower and turning me so I was facing him.
He took the small bottle of shampoo and worked it into my hair, scrubbing my scalp with his strong fingers.
When he was done, he tipped my head back so the soap didn’t get into my eyes as it was rinsed out, then he repeated the process with the conditioner.
Once done with my hair, he moved onto washing me with a bar of soap and a washcloth.
The movements were confident and to the point, not lingering or being suggestive in any way that would make me think he was alluding to more.
When he was done taking care of me, he switched places with me.
For himself, he just used the bar of soap to wash from head to toe.
I guess with not really having any hair to wash it made sense.
Watching the water ripple over his muscles had me rubbing my legs together to gain some kind of friction.
Even though he acted like he didn’t notice me watching, he took the time to stroke himself since he was already rock hard.
When he moved on, I couldn’t help but reach out and grasp it in my hand, feeling it pulse at my touch.
He hesitated but didn’t stop me as I ran my hand up and down slowly, letting my thumb swirl over the tip that was already weeping out precum.
Jay and I hadn’t had much of a chance to be together since we bonded and I ached to feel him inside me again.
Right now, I think it was the only thing I could feel since I was numb to everything else and too exhausted to cry again.
Jay reached down and gripped my hand, stopping me from moving, drawing my attention to his face. “I’m willing to offer you a distraction but we will do this my way.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, needing him to spell it out for me.
“It means that I will be in charge of what is happening and how. Of course, you will always have the chance to stop things with a simple request but if you will allow me, I will be the master of your body,” Jay explained.
Once again, this man proved to me just how much he loved me by giving me exactly what I needed, even if I didn’t know what that was. “Yes.”
“Then turn around and put your hands above your head as far as you can reach,” Jay ordered.
Without question, I did what he asked, reaching far above my head, grasping the top of the glass shower wall.
“You are not allowed to move unless I tell you to. If you do, there will be consequences. Do you understand?” Jay asked.
“I understand.”
“Sir is how you will respond to me while I’m in control,” Jay corrected as he trailed a finger down my spine.
Licking my lips, I rested my head against the shower wall, feeling weak with the wave of lust rushing through me. “I understand, Sir.”
“Good,” Jay whispered into my ear as he swept my hair to the side and kissed my neck just under my ear. “Shall we see how good of a girl you can be?”