7
Vivian
The Night Club
The boy in front of her turned to high-five his bros, and Vivian hurriedly slipped away, heading back toward her table.
“He was cute!” beamed Christine, giving a little shimmy that made her gold dress sparkle.
“Yeah, real cute giant twenty-five-year-old man-baby,” said Vivian, sliding into the booth beside Ashley, who chuckled. Her birthday outing had turned out to be a great girl’s night, but so far it hadn’t included any decent dating prospects.
“You don’t know that,” protested Christine. “You spent five minutes talking to him. You complain about all the hot guys. I swear it’s like you don’t actually want to meet anyone.”
Vivian sighed. Over the last few months, Christine had become increasingly disapproving of Vivian’s negative attitude toward dating.
Christine was the youngest of their friend group, and although Vivian was only two years older than Christine, she frequently felt as if they were a solid decade apart.
She felt closer to Ashley, who was thirty-two.
Loretta and Rachel were still on the dance floor, and Vivian did a head check on them.
They looked like they were having a blast.
“I do want to meet someone,” said Vivian. “But of those five minutes, he spent at least two responding to texts on his phone, talking to his boys, and last, but definitely not least, he called me bro.”
Christine paused, her nose wrinkling. “OK, well, being bro’d is not ideal,” she admitted. “But what’s wrong with being twenty-five and having friends?”
“Oh, my God,” said a man with a beer in one hand and too much chest hair peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt. “Is this a meeting of the U.N.?”
“What?” Vivian stared at him, completely puzzled by his out of the blue question, but Christine made a growl of anger.
“Well, like, you’re white, and they’re…” He petered out as he realized that pointing out that Ashley was Black and Christine was Korean might not go well.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Ashley. “This a gathering of W.A.A.A., the Women Against Assholes Association. And we only let the assholes speak once a month.”
“What?” he asked, looking confused.
“Tonight is not your night,” translated Vivian. “Keep walking.”
Christine laughed into her wine as the asshole slunk away.
“That douchebag threw me off. I forgot what we were talking about.” Vivian hadn’t forgotten. She was just hoping to change the subject.
“What’s wrong with a boy having friends?” Christine had no intention of letting it go.
“Nothing,” said Vivian, with a sigh. “And if all I was looking for was a hook-up, then maybe... sure. Well, OK, probably not. I’m not going home with someone who tried to high-five me. But someone like him would be fine. It’s just that... I would like to have someone with more...”
“More what?” demanded Christine, as if she had caught Vivian out. Vivian paused, trying to wrap words around what she wanted to express. “See? You don’t even know. Any of the guys you shoot down could be good boyfriends.”
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” said Vivian. “I’m looking for a partner. I want someone who has his head on straight and knows what he’s doing with his life. I want excitingly stable.”
“Excitingly stable?” asked Ashley, laughing, while eyeing a sexy hunk of man candy at another table.
“Passionate about his life, but reliable,” explained Vivian.
Like Rowan Valkyrie. No, not like him. What was she thinking? Well, she was probably thinking about his rock-hard chest, hazel eyes, and sharp jawline. But that was just physical stuff because she was hetero and not blind.
Another girl walked up to the guy Ashley had her eye on. They were clearly a couple, and Ashley let out an annoyed breath that ruffled her natural curls.
“What guy in his twenties is going to be Mr. Career and make six figures?” said Christine. “You’ve got to adjust your expectations.”
“It’s not the money!” protested Vivian. “It’s more like I want...”
“You want someone who meets you where you’re at,” said Ashley.
“Yeah,” agreed Vivian.
Christine raised an eyebrow. “What does that even mean?”
Ashley sighed. “Look, the way I figure it, life is a train track, and we’re all little trains zipping along it.
And all the trains have to pull in at every station.
Childhood, puberty, living on your own. Life is full of all these big and little stops, and we have to go to all of them.
The problem is that we’re not all moving at the same speed.
Due to her life being the way it is, Vivian had to stop at some of the stations very quickly.
She had to figure out life insurance, death benefits, funerals, career, bills, school, and everything you don’t even know exists yet because you’re still on your parent’s health insurance and have three roommates. ”
Christine glanced guiltily at Vivian.
“And there isn’t anything wrong with that,” said Vivian, in Christine’s defense. “I wish I hadn’t had to think about those things either!”
The death of Vivian’s father didn’t come up a lot, but when it did, Christine always looked awkward. Christine meant well, but Vivian thought the topic caused her to panic.
“No, there isn’t anything wrong with it,” said Ashley, making a placating motion with her hands.
“There isn’t anything wrong with either life.
It’s literally just life. But it does mean that Vivian has arrived at some of the stations earlier than other people her age.
And what she wants is a train that’s going her same speed.
Which will be hard to find in a twenty-five-year-old who still calls everyone bro. ”
“Oh,” said Christine, seeming to chew on that. “That does kind of make sense.”
Vivian wanted to add that it wasn’t really the paperwork that made her different from people in her age group.
It was the grief. Knowing what it meant to lose someone was a gulf that was hard to cross.
Christine was sunshine cheerful in a way that Vivian remembered but couldn’t ever go back to.
It wasn’t that she was always sad or couldn’t be happy, but she couldn’t remember how to live like death didn’t exist. Vivian glanced at Ashley, who smiled at her.
Ashley had lost her mom the previous year in an unexpected heart attack.
Vivian gave half a shrug back, knowing that Ashley understood but didn’t want to try to explain that part to Christine either.
“OK, so...” Christine’s brown eyes narrowed, and she began to wind one long black lock of hair around her finger.
“Recalculating,” murmured Ashley, and Vivian laughed. Christine worked in data processing, and the group joke was that she operated on Javascript and Java.
“What you need is a train that has been to all the same stops as you.”
“Not all of them,” said Ashley. “Just enough to know what she’s talking about.”
“And you need someone who is heading for the next stop at a similar speed. Next stops being partnership, monogamous or otherwise.” She added that part for Ashley since she was currently exploring polyamory. “Followed by kids, yes?”
“I mean... ideally. I’m not in the kid zone right now, but yeah, I think that’s one of my upcoming train stations,” said Vivian.
“How do you feel about other people’s kids?”
“I like them for other people?”
“But you don’t want to be a stepmom?”
“Uh... No, thanks. That looks like something I don’t have the energy or skills for.”
“So, you need an older guy with no kids who is invested in his career but is also looking for someone.”
Vivian’s thoughts went to Rowan Valkyrie again, and she forcefully pulled them back to Christine’s serious expression.
“Yes?” agreed Vivian, tentatively.
“You’re twenty-seven, so we’ll put a cap at forty-seven and the bottom at thirty-two.”
“What?” asked Vivian.
“To re-do your dating profiles. We’ll need to adjust your parameters, and then you should swipe right on some older guys to re-jigger their algorithms.”
“I don’t know...” said Ashley. “This is sounding like you’re going to get creepy old dudes with dad-bod.”
“Thirty-two isn’t old,” said Christine.
“Thanks,” said Ashley drily.
“And we can lower the top-end if you want and then add a physical fitness preference. I’m going to run some keywords and see what would be good to include.”
“You can’t scam the dating site algorithms,” protested Ashley.
“Sure I can! I do it all the time. You figure out what keywords the algorithm is hitting, and then you put those in your profile, and it matches you with people you’re into.”
“Then why are you still single?” asked Vivian.
“Because I’m bi and I’m having a hard time finding one person that ticks all my boxes right now.”
“Or you could find two people who check both your boxes,” suggested Ashley.
“Except philosophically, I’m a monogamist,” said Christine and Ashley rolled her eyes. “And besides, right now, a relationship sounds like a lot of work.”
“Then why are you pushing me into it?” demanded Vivian, outraged.
“Well, you keep saying you want to meet someone, but all I see you do is rejecting people. But now I see that your parameters are set wrong!”
“Oh, it’s your parameters,” said Ashley with a wink at Vivian.
“But it is! If she isn’t targeting the right user pool, she won’t get the desired results.”
“I may be drunk,” said Vivian, “but that actually sounded like it made sense.”
“It did to me, too,” said Ashley, “and that scares me. I may need to stop drinking.”
“I was thinking I needed to order another round,” said Vivian.
“Mmm,” said Christine, raising her glass of white wine. “Sorry, this is the max of my budget. I’m sipping slowly.”
“On me,” said Vivian.
“It’s your birthday!” protested Christine.
“Yes, but I... got a bonus today, so drinks are on me.” Vivian fudged the poker game since her friends disapproved when she suckered her coworkers.
It wasn’t her fault that most people saw her boobs and assumed she couldn’t play poker.
But the girls said it led to bad vibes at work, and she had to stick to strictly legit poker games.
They were probably right, but it wasn’t as much fun.
“Also, a gorgeous new lingerie set that arrives tomorrow,” she added to distract from her hesitation around her lie.
“You and your lingerie,” said Ashley, shaking her head.
“Expensive lingerie is my secret armor against the drudgery of the world,” said Vivian.
“I love your boobs,” said Christine with a sigh.
“I’m not bi, but I also love your boobs,” said Ashley.
Vivian laughed and looked down her own shirt. “Yeah, the girls aren’t bad, and they look so good in lace. Too bad I don’t have anyone to show them to currently.”
“It’s like I don’t even exist,” said Christine sadly.
“I’ll show you my boobs anytime, and you know it,” said Vivian, rolling her eyes.
“Not in a fun way,” said Christine.
Vivian took a quick glance around. No one was looking. She lifted her shirt and flashed Christine, who went wide-eyed and choked on her wine. Ashley laughed so hard that she slipped off her chair and nearly onto the floor but managed to hang onto the table.
“I may need a cigarette and a donut,” said Christine when she could breathe.
“Just the donut for me,” said Ashley.
Vivian laughed. Thanks to her friends and Rowan’s clubhouse poker game, this was turning out to be the best birthday she’d had in a long time.