Chapter Twenty #2
Goose bumps rose on her exposed skin. She was too exhausted to lift her head.
It was taking huge amounts of energy to heal.
Her body would prioritize, targeting the most critical injuries first. There wasn’t anything more severe than battling back from death.
Even for a wolf, it would be days, maybe weeks before she was back to normal.
As gently as he could, he washed her hair, using his fingers to distribute the shampoo through the thick locks.
It wasn’t perfect, but it did the job. When he was satisfied there was no blood left, he slipped his arm beneath her.
“I’m going to ease you upright. Stop me if it hurts.
” At her slight nod, he got her into a sitting position with only a minor wince.
Shivers racked her entire body, her teeth chattering.
The shock, coupled with the blood loss and adrenaline dump, was too much for her system to handle.
He lifted her out of the tub, wrapped a towel around her hair, and draped another around her before settling her on top of the vanity.
“I need to bandage your neck.” He flipped open the first aid kit and rummaged around.
“I’ll heal.” Eyes closed, she slumped forward.
“Those puncture marks are deep.” With her hair tucked under the towel, he studied them.
He couldn’t say if they looked better or not but was taking no chances.
His hands were clumsy as he ripped open several packets of sterile gauze and secured them with medical tape.
There wasn’t much else he could do. It felt wholly inadequate.
Leaving the mess for Zach to clear away, he carried her, towels and all, out of the bathroom. There was no sign of his brother as he took her up the stairs to his room. For the first time in his life his duty to his family wasn’t his priority.
****
A bone-deep cold permeated every cell of her body, a chill that not even Eli’s presence could dispel. Teeth chattering, she gripped the towel tighter.
So much blood.
Her stomach churned, threatening to revolt. She inhaled through her nose, filling her senses with the clean earthiness of the soap and Eli’s masculine scent.
Duke had tried to kill her, would have succeeded if Eli hadn’t arrived. She owed him her life twice over since he’d also saved her from Nash. And what had she given him? Death and destruction. Hardly a fair trade.
“Your brothers?” It was unforgivable she hadn’t asked sooner. Although she doubted he’d be here if one of them was in trouble.
“Cleaning up the mess.” He set her down on the bed and tugged away the towel. “You were the only one seriously hurt.”
Relief flooded through her, followed by a violent shudder when the cool air hit her bare skin. Eli quickly pulled the covers over her. “Thank God.”
“Thank God,” he repeated, sounding more pissed than relieved. Seated beside her, he planted his hands on either side of her head and leaned down until their noses almost touched. She was momentarily distracted by his thick eyelashes and straight dark brows. “Is that all you have to say?”
She blinked and refocused on the conversation. He was right. She owed him more than could ever be repaid. She licked her lips and took a steadying breath. “This is my fault. There’s no apology that will make up for today.”
“I don’t want your damn apology.”
She flinched in the face of his anger, even though he had every right to it.
He’d saved her life, destroyed her enemies, cleaned her up, and bandaged her wounds.
All because it was the right thing to do, and he felt responsible for her because they’d made love.
It was a wonder he could bear to look at her.
Nothing she could say or do would compensate for all she’d put him and his family through.
Pain squeezed her heart. There wasn’t any part of her—body, mind, or spirit—that didn’t ache. Fatigue pulled at her, but she couldn’t give in to it, knew what she had to do.
“I’ll get my things and leave you in peace.” She had no idea where she’d go, hadn’t thought much past surviving.
“What?” The softly spoken question was more terrifying than if he’d yelled it. Eli wasn’t merely angry, he was beyond furious, but being Eli, he controlled it.
“I know you don’t want me here.” She blinked hard. She wouldn’t cry, at least not until she was far away from here. It was time to be strong. “I know you don’t want me to say I’m sorry, but I am.”
“Listen carefully, sweetheart.” Her heart leapt at the endearment. “You died.” His voice broke and he took a breath. “You died in my arms. I didn’t protect you. I failed you.”
Her brows lowered into a deep frown. “But I’m alive.” Yet Eli wouldn’t lie to her. That meant... She swallowed. “I died?”
Everything was murky from the time Duke caught her around the back of the neck to choke her until she was in the tub. Like a half-remembered dream.
“Your heart stopped. You weren’t breathing.
Zach and I worked on you for a long time, trying to bring you back.
I gave up.” He said it as though admitting some deep, dark secret.
“I gave up,” he repeated. “Then your heart started beating and you began to breathe on your own.” His gaze turned fierce. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”
“Eli.” A tear rolled down her temple. She couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d been through. “You couldn’t have known what Duke would do.”
“I should have.”
God, they were a pair, both beating themselves up over what had happened.
She cupped his face between her hands. Eli was stern and forbidding and so dear that her heart swelled with love.
“Listen to me. It’s not your fault.” He pressed his lips together and turned away. “Blaming yourself makes no sense.”
“You’re mine.”
A thrill rushed through her at his possessiveness, but she tamped it down. “I get that you feel a sense of responsibility toward me.”
“Is that what you think?”
It was hard to think at all with exhaustion pulling at her and his gorgeous body in front of her. “You’re a good man, Eli. A born protector.”
“You’re the only one who thinks that. I am wrath. I am vengeance.”
Did he think she didn’t see him as he was? “You use that wrath, that sense of justice for good. You could have left me to fend for myself but didn’t. I’d be dead if you had.” The shivers started up again.
Swearing, he removed the towel from her hair and tossed it aside before climbing into bed beside her.
She gravitated toward his heat. Her neck protested when she turned onto her side, but it was worth the pain to be close to him.
Life had forced her to be a realist. When the dust settled, he’d want to get his life back to normal.
Hers would never be the same. Eli had changed everything, and she wasn’t only talking about him freeing her from the past. No, he’d shown her what it was like to be wanted, to be cherished, if only for a short time. She’d be forever grateful for that.
Who was she kidding? She loved him but didn’t deserve him. His brothers certainly wouldn’t want her around after today. The last thing she ever wanted to do was to come between them.
“You’re in pain.” He rubbed frown lines from her forehead.
“Little bit.” It was actually a lot, but she didn’t want to stop cuddling.
“You need to lie flat. You’re straining the muscles in your neck.”
Giving in to the inevitable, she eased onto her back. The relief was instantaneous.
Eli rolled onto his side and carefully draped his arm over her. “Does this hurt?”
She started to shake her head but thought better of it. “It feels nice.” And it did. Better than nice. Having him beside her filled her with a sense of peace, of belonging.
Her time on Sin Mountain could be counted in days, but it was truly the first time a place had felt like home.
Alabama was where she was born and had grown up, where her parents had lived.
It had never been a happy, secure place.
She wanted to soak up every second of their closeness to horde against the years of loneliness to come.
Another yawn hit her, and she closed her eyes.
“Sleep. You’re safe.” His breath tickled her ear. “We’ll talk when you’re healed.”
That sounded vaguely like a threat. Too tired to worry, she put her hand over his and slept.