34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Elijah
E ight months later
I lean against my car, arms crossed against my chest as I look up at the apartment building that has been my home for the better part of the last decade. Big changes are happening. Eras are ending. It’s bittersweet in more ways than one.
There’s so much I’m leaving behind. So many incredible and important people. But this move is long overdue.
My lips press into a firm line as I glance at my phone and notice the time. I had wanted to leave over twenty minutes ago but just can’t seem to get myself to go.
It’s hard moving away from my family, my loved ones. There’re more babies now. Liv had her second a few months ago, and Mazie just had her first three weeks ago. They insist they’re fine, that they have each other, the clan of mothers. And I’m not sure what good I can actually do as not only a man who can’t breastfeed but as someone who’s not a parent. Liv and Jameson are far more experienced in this than I could ever pretend to be.
But they’ll be fine as a group. Fine without me. It hurts a little, but it’s what I have to keep telling myself so I actually leave New York. It’s what they keep assuring me of any time I second guess this move.
What if holidays aren’t enough? What if the school breaks aren’t enough? We’re used to being just a phone call and a half-hour car ride away. While this isn’t more than a few hours, it’s still more than it’s ever been. At least since Mom and Dad passed. I’m not really sure how to compartmentalize that.
“Sorry! Sorry.” Copper curls flutter around Bex as she comes jogging up to the car, a duffle over her shoulder. She’s out of breath, probably having run all the way down the stairs, knowing we’re behind schedule.
I reach forward and take the bag from her, pressing a kiss to her forehead and tossing her bag into the trunk to join mine.
After a lot of careful consideration, research, and many late-night discussions, Bex and I decided on Boston. Not only is it a great city, but there were many college choices. I got into MIT. Bex had her choice of a few schools but opted for Boston College to complete her business degree.
When I stand in front of her again, opening her door, her head tips to the side and one corner of her mouth pulls down. Her palm rests against my cheek and I lean into the gesture.
“They’re going to be okay, Eli. You’re not across the country, or in another country. You’re just in a neighboring state.”
“I’m going to miss so much of my nieces and nephews growing up.”
“You won’t. Because you know the second your sisters even think one of those sweet babies is going to learn a new skill, they’ll be video chatting with us all the time so we don’t miss it. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Liv straight up pushed Parker down if he tried to walk when you couldn’t see it.” There’s a jest to her tone but it weighs heavy in my heart.
She senses my turmoil and presses into my chest, resting her cheek right over my heart. “They know you love them. And that no matter how much distance there is between you, you’re always there for them. And those sweet little babies. Besides, it’s not like it’s so far that we can’t take several weekend trips back to visit.”
“It’s just different.”
Hooking her hands behind my shoulders, she leans back. “Should we not go? Should we just say, 'eh, fuck it all,' and stay here?”
I squeeze my arms around her and hug her to my body. “No. Of course not. Just, let me have a few minutes to process before we leave.”
We stand in our embrace for another few minutes as I stare at my apartment building. A film of memories flutter through my mind. Everything from my first night here when I slept on a twin-size mattress on the floor, to when Zach came to tell me he fucked up with Mazie, to Bex officially moving in partway through the spring semester.
While there are some bad ones, like the dark days after the hostage situation when I was completely adrift, the good ones far outshine them.
With one final deep breath, I release my hold on Bex. “Okay. We can go now.”
“You sure?”
I nod hastily. “I don’t want to cut time short with the family, and I’d really prefer to be there before it gets dark.”
We hired a moving company to handle the big things. Basically, anything that wouldn’t fit in my sedan. And it was very important to both of us that we head back to Juniper Grove before we leave town.
It’s early, not even nine yet. But I wanted to make sure we had time to spend with the family. To not just go, say our goodbyes, and leave. Alina, of course, decided to go all out and prepare a whole brunch, including my favorite muffins, which she pushed me about after I told them we were officially leaving the area. For a few years anyway.
The funny part is that I was sure telling her it was the coffee crumb, just like Mom’s, would have hurt, made her teary. Instead, she punched me in the arm and called me an asshole for not telling her sooner.
Starting the car, I take Bex’s hand in mine, kissing her knuckles as I make the familiar trip from Pineville City to Juniper Grove one last time.