Chapter 23 #2
“But then you showed up.” Ellie turned her head and met those dark eyes. “I didn’t notice it at first, not really. I just knew I enjoyed being around you.” A small smile tugged at her lips. “You treated me the way I’d always been treated before Eloise’s death. Like a normal human being.”
Alba’s fingers tightened around hers, that hopeful look present in her eyes.
“And then it changed,” Ellie continued. “Somewhere along the way, it stopped just being an easy friendship and started being something I looked forward to. Something I needed.” Her gaze softened as she held Alba’s. “You made my evenings feel different.”
That was the simplest way to put it without scaring Alba off.
“I don’t dread going home anymore. I don’t sit there wondering how I’m going to fill my time or what I’m supposed to do with myself.
I just look forward to the next time I see you.
” Ellie swallowed when her emotions threatened to spill over and ruin the evening.
“I still miss her. I always will. That’s not something that’s ever going to go away. ”
Alba nodded, her thumb still moving slowly over Ellie’s hand. “I know.”
“But the pain of missing her isn’t the same anymore.
It doesn’t feel like something that’s holding me in place.
It feels like…something that’s a part of me, but not all of me.
” That was the shift she hadn’t quite been able to put into words before.
She glanced down at Colin, then back to Alba.
“Eloise would want me to be happy. She wouldn’t want me to just function or wade my way through the day. She’d want me to be really happy.”
“I had no idea what I was doing when I started to fall for you, Ellie. I’ve been here so many times before, and I always came up blank…or heartbroken. But with you, I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels right. It feels…as though we met when we were supposed to.”
“I want this, Alba,” Ellie said, more certain than she’d ever been about anything in her life. “Whatever this turns into, wherever it goes…I want it.”
Alba’s breath hitched, and then she leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Ellie’s lips. “Good, because I don’t think I could let you go even if I wanted to.”
Alba didn’t want the evening to end. That was the first thought to settle in her mind as she stood in the doorway, watching Ellie slip her shoes back on.
Something fundamental had shifted between them this evening, and as a result, Alba had spent the last few hours trying to keep herself grounded whenever Ellie so much as brushed against her.
Colin hovered at Ellie’s side, his tail wagging slowly, quite clearly confused as to why the human he’d decided to adopt for the evening was now preparing to leave.
While Alba just leaned against the doorframe, her arms loosely folded, trying to look far more composed than she actually felt.
Ellie straightened, smoothing down her coat as she eyed Alba.
God, that look. It still did something to her.
Something consuming that she hadn’t felt in a long time… if ever like this.
“You okay?” Ellie asked.
Am I okay?
“That depends.” Alba laughed and shook her head, pushing herself off the frame and stepping closer. “Are you planning to stand there looking at me like that for much longer?”
Ellie’s lips twitched. “Like what?”
Alba stopped in front of her and curled her hand into her jacket, inching closer again. “Like you’re thinking about something you haven’t said out loud yet.”
Ellie didn’t deny it. She just angled her head and lowered her gaze to Alba’s mouth as she took the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth.
And that was it. It was that look that dragged Alba into a world she was beginning to thoroughly enjoy lately. A world where Ellie’s lips reminded her of what this was becoming. A world where nothing else mattered around them.
“You’re too much.”
Ellie’s brow lifted. “Me?”
“Yes. You.” Alba tightened her grip on Ellie’s jacket and pulled her in against her. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, do you?” She rested a hand on Ellie’s hip, the other sliding up her side, her fingers splayed against the fabric of her top. “I barely know how to function tonight.”
Ellie’s breath hitched. “Good.”
Christ! That shouldn’t have done what it did.
Alba’s hand shifted, curling at Ellie’s waist as she pressed her back against the wall. “You’re going to be the end of me.”
Ellie grazed her thumb across Alba’s bottom lip, a shy smile curling on her lips. “I doubt that.”
Alba didn’t. Not when Ellie was this close to her. Not when Ellie kissed her. Because when it happened, it wasn’t tentative anymore. It wasn’t the careful, testing kind of kiss they’d shared the night Alba had shown up at her place. It was deeper now. It was…hungrier.
Ellie melted into her, one hand sliding up to the back of Alba’s neck, holding her there as though she didn’t trust herself to let go.
Alba felt her everywhere…the press of her, the warmth, the way Ellie’s breath caught and blended with her own.
She gripped Ellie’s waist, her body reacting before her brain had a chance to catch up.
God, she wanted her. There was no point pretending otherwise.
Her hand slipped, brushing beneath the edge of Ellie’s top, grazing her warm skin.
And Ellie… Oh, Ellie made a soft, broken sound against her mouth that nearly unravelled Alba on the spot.
She pulled back suddenly, her breath unsteady as she touched her forehead to Ellie’s.
She had to get a handle on herself. “Fuck…” she whispered under her breath.
A flushed Ellie blinked up at her, her lips parted, seemingly just as affected. “Alba—”
“Do you have any idea how into you I am?” Alba asked quietly. “Because this…” she gestured between them. “This isn’t just a little crush or something I can brush off. It hasn’t been for a while.”
Ellie’s gaze softened. “I know.”
“N-no. I don’t think you do.” Alba shook her head. “I’ve spent weeks trying not to feel this. Trying to keep it where it was supposed to be. Professional and friendly. Safe. And then you look at me like that, or you laugh, or you just…exist in the same space as me, and it all goes to shit.”
Ellie’s hand tightened at the back of Alba’s neck. “Hey.”
“And now…” Alba swallowed. “Now I don’t even want to fight it anymore. I don’t want to wait.”
That was the truth of it. That was the terrifying part she was coming to terms with.
Ellie leaned in again, brushing her lips against Alba’s.
It felt as though she was giving her the choice, a chance to push her away, but Alba kissed her back.
Softer than before, yes, but it was no less loaded.
Her hands wandered again, sliding over Ellie’s waist, her back, tracing the shape of her to accompany her dreams tonight.
Alba stopped herself again. She brushed her nose against Ellie’s, dipping her gaze to the sliver of space between them. “Hey, um…”
Ellie frowned. “Why do you keep stopping?”
Because if I don’t, I won’t stop at all. Alba cleared her throat. “Because I don’t want to rush this.”
Ellie searched her face. “I thought you said you didn’t want to wait.”
“I don’t. Believe me, I really don’t.” Alba’s thumb traced gently along Ellie’s side again. “But there’s a difference between not wanting to wait and not thinking we should.”
Ellie’s expression softened as she nodded slowly.
“We have a date on Friday. No work, no interruptions, no…” Alba paused as she sighed. “None of this hanging over us.”
Ellie visibly swallowed. “And until then?”
“Until then,” Alba said, aching to press Ellie to the wall all over again, only this time…taking her right here, right now. “I’m going to try very hard not to do something that neither of us can just walk away from if it goes wrong.”
That landed. Alba saw it in the way Ellie’s expression shifted. She wasn’t pulling away, nor was she hurt, but she did understand.
Alba leaned in, pressing one last kiss to Ellie’s lips. A kiss that promised more without taking it here and now. When she drew back, Alba whispered, “I don’t want you to go.”
“Then don’t make me.”
“You should.” Even if every part of Alba didn’t want to let her walk out that door.
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Alba squeezed her hand and let go. “And…don’t worry about lunch. I’ll bring something for us both.”
Ellie’s eyes brightened as she reached for her bag and slung it across her body. “That’ll be a nice change from me trying to decide on what to bring.”
Alba winked as she stepped towards the door and opened it. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“Goodnight, Alba.” Ellie pressed a kiss to her cheek and stepped out into the night.
“Night, Ellie.” As she watched her go, Alba knew that all the restraint in the world wasn’t going to make Friday come any faster.
The days would drag, the hours would crawl by, but she would survive.
She wrapped her arms around herself and whispered, “You’re going to be worth every second, Ellie Hamilton. ”