Episode 36
As Long As We're Awkward Together
Elowyn watches Rominy’s hands slide across the strings as her stomach does tiny little flips.
Why did he choose that song? “Made to Love You”? She shouldn’t read too much into it, but a warmth spreads deep within her, anyway.
She had no idea he was so skilled. It’s glorious. No one in her family plays any instruments. All she wants to do is sit and listen for as long as he’ll keep playing.
But the song ends again, and he clears his throat. “So...yeah. That’s a guitar.”
He lowers the beautiful instrument to its case, but she reaches out to stop him.
“Keep playing? Please?”
“Um...all right. Maybe something a little more upbeat?” He settles the guitar on his leg again, and his fingers fly along the strings in some sort of tune made to accompany laughter and carousing. She can’t help the grin that latches on to her face, and he smiles in return.
And then he starts singing. He has the most amazing voice.
Whistling wind. Is he really hers?
It’s the silliest song about a farmer and a talking donkey, and by the time he’s done, she’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.
“Oh, shoot,” he mutters. One of the strings curls in two pieces around the guitar.
“Oh no! Did it break?”
“It’s fine. I have more. I’ll have to restring it tomorrow.” He sets the guitar back in its case and smiles up at her. “It felt good to play again.”
“I could listen to you play and sing for hours.”
“Careful. I might get a big head. Then my crown wouldn’t fit.”
She laughs at the ridiculousness of his statement.
“Queen Elowyn,” he says softly, and her amusement fades at the intensity of his gaze. “You’ll be my queen someday, won’t you?”
Is that just now occurring to him? She’s known for years this was her future.
Though knowing him here, now—hearing him call her his queen—means much more than it ever did before.
Not just a queen.
His queen.
Images flash across her memory of the way Pera would pull Mother close and whisper, “My queen,” with all the burning heat of a thousand suns in his voice and in his eyes, and the longing to be that for Rominy aches within her.
“Your queen,” she breathes.
“My queen.”
Whistling wind. If he keeps looking at her like that, her fire magic might take on a mind of its own. At least she has water magic, too, to keep it in check.
The train whistles, breaking the spell, and Rominy looks away. “It’s getting late.”
It was already growing dark when they climbed on the train after their dinner earlier. Nothing beyond the windows of their railcar is visible now. Whether they’re zooming through farmland or past lakes is impossible to say.
As if her body agrees with him, she stifles a yawn, but she remains seated.
When she suggested sharing the bed earlier, it didn’t seem like a big deal.
Now, though, it feels much different. Especially with the way he was just looking at her.
But they’re bound. Married. At some point, it’s inevitable. He’s the future King of Nunia, after all. He needs an heir.
But not tonight. Tonight, it’s just sleeping, isn’t it? They haven’t really talked about this.
“Rominy?”
“Yes?” His heart is already speeding up.
“You wish to grow closer, right? Before we...become closer?”
His eyes take on that startled doe look again. “Well, this just got awkward.”
“It was always going to be an awkward conversation.”
He chuckles and studies his hands rather than looking at her. “I suppose it was.”
“But we haven’t discussed it, and I’m uncertain what human customs are regarding—”
“Political marriages?” He glances her way, and her stomach knots. Their relationship is more than that...isn’t it?
Unsure how to respond, she keeps her thoughts to herself, and for a few moments, they simply stare at each other across the railcar. The intensity has returned to his eyes, and this time, she reminds herself to breathe.
“I want to fall in love with you, Elowyn,” he finally says. “Day by day, hour by hour. Moment by moment. Here in the real world and in the heartlanding. Until one day, becoming as close as lovers feels as natural as breathing.”
Whistling wind. Her heart might be in danger of stopping, as he said his was in the heartlanding what seems so long ago now.
As if every day with this man is an entire lifetime.
“Will you walk this road with me?” he asks softly.
“I can’t imagine walking it with anyone else,” she somehow manages.
“So let’s just sleep. Are you sure you want me in there with you?”
As if she could leave his side now.
“I do.”
He leans back in his chair. “Really? I was afraid that whole spiel might leave things even more awkward between us.” His face lights up in a boyish grin full of mirth and something deeper, and she laughs in return.
“All it did was make me never want to leave your side.”
“Good. Because I’ve been feeling this odd need to be near you, and I don’t want to be the only clingy one.”
She laughs again. “That’s probably the heartbinding. It’s supposed to do that.”
“Make us want to be together all the time?” He frowns, and she shrugs.
“Mother says it will help us see each other more clearly. All the reasons to...to fall in love.”
“She didn’t share that part before I bound my heart to you.”
“Do you regret it?”
He shakes his head and looks away, his nervousness returning and twisting something in her heart. It’s...endearing.
“I don’t regret it,” he says quietly.
Relief fills her. “Neither do I.”
“So...are you ready for the most awkward night’s sleep of your life?”
Smiling, she rises to her feet and shrugs. “As long as we’re awkward together.”
Rominy stares at the shadowy ceiling as the train clacks along beneath them where they lie side by side on the bed.
Did he really think he’d be able to sleep with her beside him? What if he snores? What if he kicks her in his sleep or steals all the blankets?
“This is awkward,” she whispers.
And he laughs. “It is. So awkward.”
She rolls to her side to face him. “Where do you think the heartlanding will take us tonight?”
“I’m going to guess...a boat. In the middle of the ocean.”
“Seems reasonable.”
He nearly laughs again at the feigned seriousness of her voice. “Hopefully, there won’t be a storm this time.”
“Or a dragon?” she teases.
“Definitely not a dragon.” The memory of his painful death makes him shudder.
“I’ve always thought it would be fun to have a dragon for a pet.”
“Fun? Really? Sounds terrifying to me.”
“Well, a nice dragon that doesn’t kill people for saying hello.”
“Maybe they’re all mean.”
“I refuse to believe that.”
Of course she does.
They continue talking about anything and everything until they’re both yawning. Then Elowyn rolls over, her back to him. “Goodnight, Rominy. See you soon.”
“Goodnight,” he murmurs as he struggles to keep his eyes open.
What feels like moments later, light shines behind his eyelids. They stopped moving. There’s no train motion. No rocking of a boat. Is this real life or the heartlanding?
He opens his eyes to blue skies looming overhead. Definitely the heartlanding.
But where are they? He glances down at the boat beneath him and frowns. Why is it so still?
Squinting, he extends his gaze beyond the boat and almost rolls off the deck.
Into the sand below.