Episode 63 Fate Knew I Needed You
Fate Knew I Needed You
“Arisanna.” A warm hand rubs her shoulder, and she blinks her eyes open in the dim room.
Where is she? And what time is it?
“Cerian?”
“I’m here. I...I need to know what you wish to do.”
“What?”
“Do you wish to return to Feressa, or would you rather wait here in Darlei?”
“Feressa?” Then it all comes rushing back. “Rominy. He’ll need me. He’ll be a mess. I—”
“He will be well cared for by my family if you don’t feel up to returning. We can stay here so you may rest.”
“What? No. I need to go.”
“You’re exhausted, Arisanna.”
“Don’t you want to be there?”
He breathes out slowly before answering. “Elowyn is in good hands. Your well-being is my priority now.”
She looks up at his shadowy face hovering over her. She may be exhausted, but she needs to be there for Rominy. Is it even a question?
“I want to go. Please.”
He sighs in relief and drops his head. “Oh, thank the fates. I was afraid you would choose to remain here.”
“Stars above, Cerian! I thought you weren’t going to let me come!”
“I’m sorry. I needed to be certain I wasn’t pushing you too hard.”
She trails her fingers down his cheek before pulling him into a soft kiss. “You’re not pushing. I want to go. I need to go.”
“Then we’ll go. Stardust will carry us both with ease, and Tharios or my mother will help you sleep while I hold you, all right? And if you need to rest, we’ll stop and rest.”
“I’m sure I’ll manage. Is it time?”
“Yes. Everyone is gathering outside. But do what you need to do. I can get us to Feressa even if they leave before we’re ready.”
She nods and rubs at the grit in her eyes as she sits up. “Do I have time to brush my hair?”
Quicker than she imagined possible, he’s sitting behind her with his own hairbrush, gently running the bristles through her tangled tresses.
“There’s food for you,” he says quietly, and she reaches for a biscuit.
It’s a little stale, probably left over from earlier in the day, but it fills her famished belly, and she won’t complain.
Especially not while Cerian is running his hands through her hair.
“Shall I braid it?” he asks.
Cerian can braid hair? His own hair hangs past his shoulders. Perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised.
“If you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.”
She bites her lip at the warmth in his voice, and soon he’s tied a leather strap around her plaited hair, and she’s scarfed down the food he brought.
After a quick trip to the water closet, she’s ready to depart.
Her eyelids still feel heavy, but she’ll probably sleep on the way. She’s more worried about him.
But she doesn’t tell him that.
To her shock, he sweeps her off her feet again and carries her into the corridor.
“I can walk, Cerian.”
“Let me care for you. Please.”
His words warm her, and she gives in to the urge to relax against him. She might not need anyone’s help to fall asleep.
As they exit Windhaven, the rest of his family are mounting their horses.
No one says anything about Cerian carrying her, and Tharios is there a moment later to hold her steady on her feet while Cerian mounts the most beautiful silver creature imaginable.
A glimmering ivory horn extends from its forehead, dazzling in its brilliance.
Stardust nuzzles Tharios, and Arisanna pats the unicorn’s nose. Then Stardust nuzzles her as well. Unicorns must be affectionate.
“Here we go.” Tharios lifts Arisanna toward Cerian, settling her in front of him. “I want you to sleep, all right, Arisanna? Healer’s orders.”
“Are you a healer?” She knew he had life magic, but did he study to become a healer? That’s fascinating. She’s never heard of a monarch being trained in the healing arts. Human or elf.
“I am. We can talk later, all right? For now, I want you to rest. Just relax. You’re in good hands.”
She glances at Cerian, who tightens his arm around her.
When Tharios rests his hand on her shoulder, warmth seeps through every part of her, easing her aching muscles and sending her to a peaceful slumber, safe in Cerian’s arms once more.
One minute, Rominy is running his hands along Elowyn’s bare flesh as warm water flows over them in the shower she asked the heartlanding for.
The next moment, they’re on the deck of their sailboat again. It’s twilight this time, though whether the sun is rising or setting is hard to say.
“Rominy? What happened?”
“Elowyn.” His voice comes out pained. Then he crushes her to his chest as if he hasn’t seen her for days.
But they were just together. He was kissing her. Touching her. She was ready to give him everything. And he wanted everything.
It felt as natural as breathing, the way he said it would when they were ready.
But they’re here now. And this doesn’t feel natural at all.
“What’s wrong?” she whispers. “Why didn’t we wake up?”
He just hugs her tighter. Buries his face in her hair.
“Rominy.”
“I can’t do this without you, El. I’m a mess without you.”
“What?”
“I did wake up. I did. But you didn’t.”
She lets his words sink in as he clings to her, and dread fills her belly.
“Why didn’t I wake up with you?”
“Because you’re sick. And I’m trying. I’m trying to handle everything. To make all the decisions and guess what you would want, but I’m not good at this. At any of it. And what if I chose wrong, and...and...”
She frames his face with her hands. “Rominy, my love. Breathe.”
“I keep telling myself to breathe. That’s what you would say to do, but—”
“Deep breaths, my love. Breathe with me now.”
He finally looks into her eyes, and the utter despair in his expression makes her own breath hitch, but she pushes past the fear.
“We’re going to breathe together, my love. And then you’re going to tell me what’s going on, all right? You’re not alone. I’m here now.”
“I don’t know how I ever lived without you.”
“Just breathe, my love. Together.” She breathes slowly, and he copies her. Deep breaths, over and over, until he’s no longer panicking.
“Thank you,” he murmurs as he draws her close again. He doesn’t crush her this time.
“I promised to care for you, Rominy. This is part of that, remember?”
He exhales slowly and nods as he lets her go. They sit on the deck of their little sailboat, rocking in the calm water. It’s still twilight, as if everything has paused. It’s intriguing, but Elowyn doesn’t ponder it for long. Rominy needs her full attention now.
“Jonas woke me,” Rominy eventually says. “It was almost noon.”
No wonder it felt as if they’d been here for so much longer than usual.
“I couldn’t wake you, so I sent for Dr. Fulton,” he continues. “But he’s not sure what’s wrong, and he doesn’t have the right training to doctor elves, and he said I had to choose, and I didn’t know—”
“Breathe, Rominy. Stay with me.”
He takes a few more deep breaths, and she pulls his head onto her lap.
“Just relax, my love.” She brushes back his golden-brown hair and caresses the lines on his forehead until they soften. “Now tell me the rest of the story.”
“Your body heals differently from humans. And Dr. Fulton thinks your wound is infected or you’re reacting to something. But your wound has already closed around the stitches. He wasn’t sure he could get them out without...without...”
Rominy shudders as Elowyn tries not to give a foothold to her growing worry over that doctor and the stitches. Rominy needs her to be strong now.
“He was afraid he’d render your arm useless if he tried to cut into it to remove the stitches.”
“Useless? I wouldn’t be able to use my arm?”
“That’s what he said.”
Elowyn stuffs down her own panic. “And...what did you tell him?”
“I told him to give me another option.”
Relief fills her, but she keeps her expression neutral.
“Then he suggested amputating.” Rominy covers his eyes as Elowyn rolls the word over her tongue.
“I’m not familiar with that word.”
“He wanted to cut off your arm, Elowyn.”
She stills. Then her own breath comes rapidly.
No, no, no. This can’t be happening.
Rominy sits up and takes her face in his hands the way she did to him moments ago. “Stay with me, love. I didn’t let him.”
She closes her eyes as relief fills her once more.
“But he told me I had to decide, and I didn’t know what to do. I-I tried to choose the option I thought you would want, but Dr. Fulton says it was a gamble, and what if I chose wrong? What if you die because of me?”
“This is not your fault, Rominy.”
“I should have guarded you better. I should have insisted on calling the doctor when you started slurring your speech. I have made one misstep after another, and now—”
“It’s not your fault. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault.”
“But—”
“It’s not your fault, my love. Now tell me the doctor gave you a third option. Please.”
“I sent for Tharios and put you on a spur line straight to Feressa.”
Relief so complete she might faint fills her, and she collapses against him. “Thank you.”
“You’re barely holding on, Elowyn. Dr. Fulton thinks my heart might be the only thing keeping you alive right now. What if I made the wrong choice?”
“You didn’t. Tharios is my best chance. He’s the most skilled healer in Lostariel.
Young but powerful. His life magic rivals our mother’s.
They made an exception to allow him to join the Healer’s Circle.
They rarely allow anyone who might be called to fight in a war to take the healer’s oath. And since Tharios is a future king—”
“He’s a healer?”
Elowyn nods.
“Oh, stars above. I thought he just had life magic. But he may not make it in time. I sent a telegram, but—”
“Rominy. You made a choice. A good one. The best option with the knowledge you had. That’s all you can ever do.”
Swallowing, he nods.
“So where are we now? In the real world?” she asks.
“On a train to Feressa.”
“You’ve done everything you can, Rominy. All right? There’s nothing more you can do. Especially not from here.”
“I can’t ignore it this time, Elowyn. Please don’t ask me to. Even the heartlanding seems stuck in limbo, unsure whether the sun’s about to rise again or set for the last time.”
“And if these are our last moments together? How would you spend them?”
He looks deep into her eyes, and it’s as if time has stopped. That gaze. The one she imagined, so reminiscent of how Father looks at Mother with all the heat of a thousand suns contained within a single glance.
“I’d spend every moment with you,” he whispers. “I didn’t understand what it meant to...to live before you came along. I think fate knew I needed you, Elowyn. No one else could have fit their heart so perfectly to mine.”
And her hands begin tingling once more.