11. Egan
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Egan
He kissed me with desperate force.
And I was numb. I did not know what to do with my hands; they hovered over his wrists.
“I will kill you.” Cassiel’s threat sent chills down my spine.
I went rigid, yet Egan behaved as if Cassiel had not spoken. His hand settled on my waist and slid down to my hip, gripping and squeezing. He pulled back slightly, and it allowed me a moment to breathe. My mind struggled to catch up.
‘Stop.’
Cassiel’s order reached through my mind, rousing a wave of guilt. Still, I could not move. Some vengeful piece inside my stomach reveled in the pain echoing in his tone.
‘Amara,’ he growled.
Egan tilted my chin higher, kissing me harder. Cassiel and his orders. His dratted orders!
‘He will die a gruesome death if you continue.’ That should have been enough to stop me, but it roused the resentment that had taken root. I placed my hands on Egan’s forearms, clenching the velvet fabric of his uniform. ‘I vow it.’
Cassiel stopped speaking.
Still, Egan did not stop coaxing my tongue to life. My insides turned over and over as if a spoon scooped them about.
Cassiel watched.
I squeezed Egan’s sleeves and pulled back. Cassiel’s gaze weighed on my shoulders. Kissing Egan felt so . . . different from Cassiel’s kisses. Warm and nice. They did not cause the tumultuous emotions that threatened to suffocate me.
This is what my first kiss with my husband should have been like. Instead, I had received Lord Cassiel Draven. A hungry, possessive Warlord.
“I am sorry,” Egan murmured against my lips. “I could not take you with me. I left you in there.” He shook his head, releasing my face. “What father did to your back.” He cut off with a choked sound.
“You allowed it.”
Egan’s head snapped up to look over my head. “I did not.”
“You could have stopped it,” Cassiel challenged.
“I had no knowledge of it.”
“And if you had?” I whirled, prepared to face Cassiel’s anger, but he stood closer to the wall within the shadows. I could only make out his massive frame. “What would you have done?”
“I would have stopped it—”
“Then take her from here. You can stop the next beating. The harm that will come next.”
Egan sputtered. “I would—”
“You would, were you not a coward?” Cassiel drawled.
“Enough,” I bit out. Cassiel only mocked him.
Egan clasped my arm, turning me away from Cassiel. He took my hand in both of his.
“I cannot go against him.” Agony bled across his features. “I cannot. But I will not let them kill you. I am sure if I bargain with my father, he will listen to me.” He breathed. “That is why he has not touched you. That is why he has given you such distance.”
I did not say a word. There seemed to be nothing to say.
“Keep your head down while I arrange the Kingdom’s patrol schedules.
When I am able to give you more news, I will come find you.
” He placed a kiss on the top of my hand and let it go.
He retreated from the chamber, offering me a look from the exit.
I let out a shaking breath, slumping against the glass surface.
How unbelievably . . . reckless.
I raked my fingers through the front of my hair. Cassiel had yet to say a thing. His silence terrified me more than any angry words he could have spouted. He watched me in the arms of another man.
A stab of guilt surfaced.
Piper would remind me that he harmed me more. She would be right.
I let out a slow breath, scanning the empty space before me. How I missed her quips in my head. The ache from her loss was something that would forever weigh upon my shoulders. Nothing fit as it used to, only jagged edges where the pieces refused to meet.
I struggled to find my footing. Before, I had been so terribly cautious; now I had nothing to lose.
Coming to the Citadel had placed me on a path I could not have anticipated that eve I had combed Miriam’s hair into a coiffure.
Now she was in a marriage with an awful man that groped other women right in front of her.
The bookshelf entrance creaked and opened wider.
“I have approval to allow you to feed him,” Al claimed. I blinked, focusing on him inside the chamber. “Of course, I spoke with Lady Drusilla. I knew she would be more amenable.”
My mind worked to follow. Al was already before the latched door. Cassiel had not moved from the middle of the cell, as far as the chain attached to his ankle allowed. He could easily kill me when I entered for daring to touch Egan.
I squeezed my hands into fists.
I could not let this chance to speak to him about what I planned pass.
Al opened the glass entrance to the compartment.
He waved me in, and I had no time to think before I stepped inside.
I faced the other glass panel that would be opened by Al as soon as the first slot was closed.
It hissed as it shut, leaving me squished between the slats.
I rapped my knuckles against it. Despite it looking like glass, I did not think it was that simple.
The council would not have left their most prized prophet in something so easily breakable.
The surface trembled, then slid to the side, leaving the space open for me to stride through. It shut behind me. A sharp whistle rent the air.
“Ah, I must tend to that. I will leave you to it.” Footsteps retreated.
Al had left us alone?
Cassiel still had not moved. I shuffled closer.
“Cassiel?” I began hesitantly. My stomach turned with nerves, but I did not let it stop my approach.
Once within arm’s length, he grabbed me, pressing me against the wall with enough force to rattle my teeth. His chest moved with labored heaves. Tawny hair fell across his brow.
“Why do you continue to anger me?” he asked through gritted teeth. His sweet breath fell across my cheek, causing my hair hanging around my face to flutter.
Cassiel leaned close enough that his lips hovered right above mine. His wide palm spanned across my hip.
“Why do you continue to behave as if I should do as you say?” I lifted my chin.
He huffed out a laugh. When his head turned, I noted the glisten in his eyes catch the lamplight. I peered closer. It looked as if he blinked away a sheen of tears.
‘Because you are mine.’
He reached down and unhooked the front of his trousers. His length bobbed free, thick, long, and engorged. My heart skipped a beat.
“It seems you need a reminder of it,” he finished aloud and leaned down to catch my lips.
‘You must only taste of me.’ A hint of desperation slipped into his words.
His tongue prodded against mine, licking and plunging—claiming.
But he did not stop there. He licked every inch inside my mouth, as if attempting to erase what Egan had done.
Something inside me snapped, and I squeezed the front lapels of the coat he wore, meeting his kiss with as much fervor.
His hand slid lower and clasped my bottom. With a scoop of his palm, he lifted me with ease. I had no choice but to grab his shoulders. His hips pinned me against the stone surface where his chain was bolted. Cold seeped through the fabric of my dress.
Keeping his eyes on mine, he yanked the bottom of my frock up.
“Cassiel.” My hiss was cut off by the tip of his shaft pressing at my entrance. It was too late. I could not fight it, but I did not want to. I had to claim him as much as he claimed me.
“I still loathe you,” I panted, and a moan caught in my throat as he slid inside, bit by bit.
Being in his arms was an experience I could not help but crave. His touch, even his grunts and orders, all of it served to render me a fool. I slid my hand up into his hair, arching my spine to take more of him. My channel clamped around him and he stopped the careful thrusts.
“More,” I breathed, yanking his hair.
“No,” he growled, taking my hips in both hands. I leaned back until the wall braced me. With careful glides, he slid into me. Taking his time in a way that pointed to fear of breaking me.
The stretch of him inside me caused this burning need deep in my belly. A low, simmering urge that only intensified with his thrusts. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back and feeling the glide of his silk shaft rubbing against me.
He stopped before feeding me his knot each time, but he ground it against me as if making a point that he was purposely withholding it from me.
Ecstasy trickled through my veins until I could not breathe without feeling it. My breasts rubbed against the rough fabric, inflaming me even more. Pulses of desire assaulted my channel, clamping me down on him. My release wrenched through me soon after. I cried out, yanking at his hair madly.
He rubbed his cheek against the side of my head, keeping the unrelenting rhythm. My climax flowed through me in a soft, lulling pleasure that caused my senses to dampen.
Cries and moans spilled from my mouth.
Cassiel wound both arms around my waist and leaned down to the place where my shoulder and neck met. Teeth sank into my flesh with a pop.
He sucked, and it sent jolts of need between my legs. I was still sensitive from my first release, but when he sucked again, it sent me again into crashing ecstasy.
Ringing engulfed my ability to hear.
The length inside me squeezed with jolts that came with gushes inside me. His guttural moan wrenched through me, forcing my sex to clamp around him as if with a mind of its own.
His tongue traced my throat. ‘I adore my marks on your perfect flesh.’
Exhaling with a shuddering breath, my eyes tightly closed, I dropped my legs, pushing at his chest. He had claimed me so openly, so hurriedly, when moments ago, I had let Egan kiss me.
Egan who had claimed my mouth gently compared to Cassiel’s possessive claim.
I hated that I preferred one over the other.
I wish it were the opposite. That I wanted what was good for me, not what I could not breathe without.
A light creak of wood came from the entrance.
Cassiel hissed, turning and placing my body behind him.
“Collect yourself. I have need of you, Miss Amara,” Al’s voice echoed from a few paces away. “We have another Hollow Plague corpse to inspect.”
I scrambled to shove my frock down, heat searing my cheeks.