Chapter 16
Azar
Liz is brash.
She doesn’t think things through. Jore never should have given her wings. It makes her even more prone to leap off cliffs with no idea what’s waiting below.
When I collect her limp body and her swords, there’s still a bit of light pulsing from her body, and thankfully, she’s still breathing.
The bond between us pulses with extra energy and magic.
I hate that she pulls on the heart and her stupid swords and their connection to Jore so often, like there’s no possible side effect to demanding input and favors from some kind of earth deity.
I take her inside and set her carefully on the bed, and then I storm back out. “You did this.” I can’t help glaring at the stupid blessed in front of me.
“But did it work?” Sammy asks. “Can they shift?”
Gordon blinks.
Rufus coughs.
I can’t remember exactly how, Gordon says. I remember that you— The familiar sound of tearing cloth fills the clearing, and then the ruddy-faced man-shape of Gordon stands, beaming. “Hey, it worked.”
Rufus changes next, the rock-crushing sound preceding him as he jogs up the stairs, wearing one of his dumb t-shirts that says, “Fear me. I dragon.”
“That’s not even proper wording,” I say. “Did Liz scramble your brain?”
“That’s part of what makes it funny.” Rufus thumps my shoulder as he walks past, and I’m already regretting this.
Wait, Asteria says. How do we. . . Unsurprisingly, with a sound like the tinkling of bells, she collapses into a silver-gowned woman, slender, pale, and with startling cerulean eyes. “Oh.” She beams at Jade, and the two of them giggle at the exact same time.
It’s a little unsettling.
“You look beautiful,” Asteria says at the very same time Jade says, “You’re so pretty.”
“Okay,” Coral says. “Can the freaky twins go inside and, I don’t know, braid each other’s hair? Some of us aren’t sure it worked for everyone.”
Hyperion’s scowling. Why can’t I shift? Did Liz not allow me the chance? Does she really despise me? What does she think I’ll do? Track mud in the house? Break things? Eat all the food? Or maybe she’s punishing me for giving her no choice but to release the vanir.
My heart lurches just a little. Did Liz really not allow him the chance? Surely she doesn’t distrust him around his own bonded. “You need to reach into your middle,” I say. “It feels like you’re pulling a switch and collapsing downward.”
Why would anyone ever do that? Hyperion sounds horrified.
“If you want to shift, you’ll have to trust me.”
What if I’m ugly? he asks. My human form could be charred. Or I could be very, very fluffy. I could have dots all over my face.
“I don’t care what you look like,” Coral says. “I promise I’ll hardly make fun of you if you have teeth that are all bunched up.” She’s smirking, though.
“What kind of self-respecting dragon cares what he’ll look like?” I can’t help my smirk. “Are you vain, Hyperion? How did I never know that?”
He snorts flames my direction and I barely snuff them before they hit the side of the house.
“Watch it,” I snap. “If you burn this place down, Liz will do more than leave you out of her little requests to Jore.”
Hyperion rolls his eyes.
It hits me then why he wants to shift.
He’s feeling left out. Thanks to Liz, this bizarre group has become a family.
It may be dysfunctional and strange, but he wants to be part of the group, not left outside, literally.
Rufus and Gordon, Sammy, the strange mirrored humans Jade and Asteria have become, and Coral.
But Hyperion’s way too large, way too scary, and literally stuck sweltering in the heat, since we’re in Australia.
Alone.
It wasn’t a concept we discussed as blessed.
Feelings of loneliness weren’t acknowledged, and they certainly weren’t pitied.
But now that Liz has shown me what it’s like to feel a part of something, I see how much better it is.
Now if I were stuck outside, I would yearn, I would long, and I would burn with a desire to be included.
I’ve felt lonely in my life more times than I can even count, long before I had a word for it.
That’s probably why I sit on the edge of the porch while everyone else walks inside.
Only Coral stays with me. “Can you help him?”
“I’m going to try,” I say. Hyperion, you have to be vulnerable to become a human. You have to know that you might be attacked, and you might die, but you want to be near these creatures more than you want to be prepared to fight a threat.
I can’t do that, he says. My job is to keep Coral safe.
As he says the words, I realize he means it. He didn’t say he needs to find the heart, possibly because we’ve found it, or that he needs to fight vanir, or that he needs to keep me safe from Thunar. He doesn’t say we need to prepare for our father’s return, either.
He said he needs to keep Coral safe.
It’s a big change for him. It’s a step in the right direction. He’s worried about something that has nothing to do with his orders or his place in blessed society. He’s worried about something for himself, or rather, for his bonded. I think Liz would be as proud of him as I am.
Okay, I say. I’ll do it.
Do what? He frowns.
I’ll shift, and you can go in and join them. Not for a long time, because I need to check on Liz. And if this works, you can’t sleep in the same place as Coral. Not ever.
Hyperion rolls his eyes.
She’s a hatchling, I say. Don’t forget that.
His lip curls. Of course I won’t forget that. What’s wrong with you?
I laugh. And then I shift into my Azar form as I leap to the ground. Now, reach down deep and try to collapse even smaller. You won’t be able to protect her as well, physically, but you’ll be healing her heart and your own, and you’ll know I’m out here on watch.
Hyperion doesn’t look as if he believes me, but he does try it. I can see the frustration in his eyes. It didn’t work.
I’m reaching for the right words of consolation to share when Coral says, “You big idiot. Act like you think I’m dying, and you have to be small enough to reach me.” She jumps off the porch, right at him.
And he shifts, just like that, and catches her with his big, beefy human arms. He looks even larger than me, and for a dragon-human, I’m large. Very large.
Coral’s beaming.
“What if I hadn’t shifted?” My older brother, the massive nightmare, the terrifying beast, looks a lot like me. I kind of hate it, but mostly because I worry Liz will think he’s better looking. She did say she preferred larger sizes.
Coral shrugs. “You would. I knew you would.”
“How could you know?” He arches one eyebrow, and I notice his eyes are a dark green. “You could have landed on the ground hard and hurt yourself.”
“But I didn’t.” Coral hugs him. “You caught me.”
His eyes widen, and then he looks pretty dopey, and I think that’s exactly how it should be. She’s Hyperion’s first family member, other than me. When he closes his eyes and inhales slowly, I realize he might have needed this even more than I did.
Acceptance.
Love.
Belonging.
That’s what the earth children offer, and we blessed didn’t even know its value until suddenly we did. We didn’t know such a thing existed, not until we experienced it for ourselves. It’s like we’ve finally felt heat for the first time, and when Hyperion opens his eyes, they’re glistening.
You’re pathetic, I say. I didn’t cry the first time I hugged Liz. I didn’t cry the first time I shifted, either. If you’re my biggest ally, I’m doomed.
Hyperion scowls. “Shut up.” And then he sets Coral down, and he walks up the stairs with her, leaving me out here alone.
Jerk.
I curl into a small ball outside the house and listen as the sounds of Christmas Eve drift my way. Laughter. Shouting, but in mock horror. Rufus and Gordon both shouting and then closely after, Sammy’s peals of laughter.
I didn’t try chocolate yet, I realize, but I don’t care.
The only thing worse than not trying it would be trying it without Liz.
Once she’s awake, I’ll make Hyperion shift, and I’ll take my turn.
As it turns out, though, she sleeps the night away.
It’s past midnight when Hyperion finally walks back to the porch, Asteria, Gordon, and Rufus in tow.
“Thank you,” Asteria says. “I know there was a risk to Liz, but that was. . .” She sniffs. “I never hated her, you know. I was jealous, and I longed for what she had, or rather, I longed to have a known place in the world, but I didn’t ever hate her.”
“Liz?” Hyperion asks.
Asteria nods. And now, I think I love her, for giving us this.
“It’s called family,” Rufus says, smiling. “And it’s the best thing I’ve ever had.” A tear rolls down his cheek, and I want to mock him for it, but I can’t.
Because Gordon’s eyes are glistening, and Asteria’s sniffing, and even in this form, I can’t blame them. Humans are weak. That’s a simple truth, but in some ways, they’re far, far stronger than we are. I think that strength is in their bizarre kind of family, the bonds between Liz and her siblings.
And the way they manage to share and extend those bonds even to monsters like us.
“Fluff Dog likes me now,” Hyperion says.
“Only because you gave him a fistful of meat,” Asteria says. “He likes anyone with ham.”
“Fluff Dog’s a she,” Gordon says. “And she likes me even without meat.”
Rufus frowns. “You really shouldn’t have given her so much. She’ll get an upset stomach, and that’s not only very smelly, but it makes a lot of work for the kids.”
Hyperion rolls his eyes. “Oh, sure. She looked really happy to see you, what with all that spinning and yapping.” He snorts.
“You sound exactly like Coral,” Asteria says. “It’s beyond bizarre.”
“Oh?” Hyperion asks. “At least we don’t have matching clothing.”
“She was wearing grey,” Asteria says. “Mine was silver.”