Chapter forty-four
Ireplay that exchange with Micah over and over in my head and nearly reach out to him through our mental link what feels like a trillion times. Instead, I do all I can do but that. I drink ridiculously rich hot cocoa as comfort and scan the book Micah has indicated as a necessary read.
The text references another volume, The Sacred Book of Nephilim, that doesn’t seem to be a book at all but something living in book form.
Apparently, this “book” presents itself as a source of rather simple information, but once the Aza picks it up, the magic beneath the disguise is exposed.
The path to the light or the darkness is then illuminated.
I’ll be presented two spells, and I must choose to read one of them.
Choose right, and I will become the light.
Choose wrong, and I will become the darkness.
Much later, as I lay in bed, I swear my blanket smells of ocean and land, earthy and whole, but I do not feel whole at all, not even a little bit.
My mind goes to the winged man, and I will him to show up and tell me why he asked where I belong.
But as I drift off to sleep, I find nothing but darkness.
The next morning, I’m feeling awkward and unsettled with Micah and decide to avoid one-on-one time.
I shower and dress in fatigues before rifting to the cove, where I luxuriate in the scent of honeysuckle and watch a glorious sunrise illuminate the inky sky—streaks of orange, yellow, and then blue following.
Once the clouds float in a sea of overhead blue, I sit on a rock and allow the butterflies to flutter around me, relaxing on my arm and hand.
Only then do I reach out to Micah through our mental link. I’m at the cove.
He doesn’t answer, nor does he immediately appear as I expect, and in fact, Gabriella arrives first, looking as gorgeous as ever with her hair pulled back from her perfect heart-shaped face.
Her green eyes are alight with greeting and shock as she watches me with the butterflies.
She inches closer, and when she sits next to me, the butterflies scatter and fly away.
She pulls her knees to her chest and pokes her lip out. “They hate me.”
“You’re impossible to hate.”
“Back at ya,” she says with a lift of her lips. “Though Silas thinks you’re mad at him since Micah reamed him and all.”
“I’m mad at Micah for making Silas the enemy when he was just preparing me.”
“You kicked his ass pretty good,” she comments. “He was impressed.”
“How is he?”
“Oh, he took soto and he’s all good. He felt bad he didn’t give you any, but he said he was bleeding like a stuck pig when you parted ways.”
“That was an accident. I feel bad that I cut him and got him in trouble.”
“I heard Micah agreed to let you train with him again. I was shocked. He’s very protective of you.”
“I could end the world. I’m surprised he allows me out of his sight.”
“I’ve already told you it’s much more than that with you two. You’re linked. We know that. Elysium knows. The butterflies know.”
“I don’t want him to feel stuck with me.” I hug myself. “That’s a pretty horrible thought.”
“Oh, please. Back in the day, couples were paired together by rank and status, much like humans in the olden days. Being pushed together doesn’t make you want and need each other. That comes from within.” She squeezes my arm. “You hungry?”
“Yes, but Micah—”
“He’s skipping breakfast. He’s meeting us after.”
“Oh. Okay. We, ah—”
“Had a fight.”
“Yes. We had a fight.”
“The best makeup sex comes after fights.”
My eyes go wide. “Oh, no. We’re not—”
“Maybe that’s the problem.” She smiles and stands, offering me her hand. “Come on. Let’s eat and make some fire, baby.”
I laugh, but it’s a choked sound that vibrates right where my heart aches over Micah, which I don’t fully understand.
We’re not committed to one another. I’m the last person he should even consider being with.
I want to reach out to him, but I don’t even know what to say.
Instead, I eat a delicious breakfast of crepes with evos and chocolate, paired with friendly conversation.
“What’s the deal with you and Silas?” I ask. “I sense a little spark.”
She snorts, a delicate little sound, and waves that off. “Oh, please. I can barely take his arrogance. There is nothing between us.”
“Then who is the great makeup sex with?”
“I’ve been around a long time,” she says.
“I’ve had a few good men, but the best was a human.
They love with such passion. They know they have limited years and every moment counts.
Or the smart ones do, but I’m never going down that path again.
They age. We age slower. We can’t expose our kind to them. ”
“Where is he now?”
“Gone. He’s gone.” Her voice cracks slightly. “We should get to work. I know Micah plans to take you out to the forest mid-morning.”
Micah is still coming for me, I think, and there’s a silly little leap in my chest. “Let’s do it,” I say.
A few minutes later, we stand in the same spot we were in the night before, a cauldron of water between us. Gabriella sits and motions for me to do the same. “Don’t we need a shelter around us?” I ask, joining her.
“You’re not even close to making fire.”
“I made the ocean boil. I don’t know how, but I did. Micah thinks it was the red moon.”
“That makes sense. Those nights are strange nights here in Elysium. I think we’re fine. I’ve handled some pretty big fires.” She offers me a crystal blue jewel. “Hold this in your hand and say your spell.”
“It’s beautiful. What is it?”
“It’s from the caverns of Aramis in the kingdom. They’re known for their ability to enhance magic and thus sheltered by the kingdom.”
“How do you have one?”
“The night Micah found me on the streets, I killed a demon using it for no good. He told me I earned it, so I kept it. Let’s just see what it does for you. Close your hand and say your spell.”
I pant out a breath and do as she suggests, and for a good ten tries, nothing happens. I’m discouraged. “The stone is a dud, and so am I.”
“Try thinking about the fight you had with Micah last night and all the emotions you felt. The same ones I can sense you’re battling now.”
“Maybe you should put that wall up.”
She laughs. “You underestimate me. Try.”
I close my eyes, and I’m back at my bedroom door with his hands on my face.
Damn it, Ember, he’d whispered. It has to be this way.
He meant we can’t be more. We’re distracting each other.
That’s why he’s not here this morning. He wants this, us, to be all business, and it feels—bad.
Just bad. I feel cut and bleeding, and—magic surges through me, and I open my eyes to find the water boiling.
Gabriella is clapping and grinning, but my attention is locked on Micah where he stands behind her, staring at me, his gaze piercing, but he shows no reaction. Following my gaze, Gabriella glances over her shoulder at Micah and then back to me. “Try again. Try for fire.”
“How can I turn water to fire from boiling water?”
“The same way I turn air into water. I pull from sources within the air.”
“There is no fire in the air.”
“But there is water nearby. Use the water and make fire.”
An hour later, I collapse on my back on the ground with utter exhaustion and frustration. I made fire, but the kind of flame that lights a match, not kills a demon. Gabriella kneels beside me. “You had a good day. I’ll meet you here at the same time tomorrow.” She squeezes my hand and disappears.
I sit up to find Micah standing in the same spot he has been for an hour. He says nothing, but his disapproval of my performance, and mine too, for that matter, hums in the air. I push to my feet, shoving aside my weariness, rejecting my failure. “To the forest?”
All he says is, “To the forest.”
I kill a swarm of some kind of giant bugs by boiling them.
I’m pretty darn proud of myself, and even Micah appears pleased with my success, though all he says is, “Next.”
I follow up my success by almost dying by tiger attack.
Those white tigers really want to eat me, and I’m too zapped from all the things I’ve been boiling to rift.
Micah grabs me, rifts me to the edge of the forest, and declares us done for the day.
Next up is the library, where we are awkwardly alone and back to reading about demons.
This time, when he orders his meatball sub, I order a sub of my own. Egg salad, extra-large, and I down two bottles of water. It’s only when we’re eating that we finally have a small conversation. “Why are you so mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you, Ember.”
“Then what is this?”
“I told you. This can’t be about us. Neither of us has done a good job of remembering that. I can’t protect you. And you can’t protect any of us if you aren’t prepared. My role here is to make you a badass who makes it to the Diviner without allowing the serpent to control you.”
“And you think the best way to do that is to treat me like I’m nothing to you? Because all it does is make me feel alone.”
“I’m sitting right here.”
“Okay.”
“Ember,” he says softly, a plea in his voice. “If I get any closer to you, I will not be objective. I will not know if you are ready.”
“I know,” I say. “I do. I know.” I discard the rest of my sandwich and pick up a book. “The next demon is the werewolf, who we’ve already discussed back in the garrison. What I don’t know is how to get by how strong he is.”
For a moment, he stares at me, and I think he’ll circle back to the topic of us. Instead, he says, “He’s not stronger than you. And you can always boil him to death.” He laughs. “That’s a new one. I’ve never known anyone who can boil people.”
“That sounds like a disgusting way to kill him.”
“Or her. And you could just shove a star in the heart. They’re technically a lower-level demon based on their magic capacity but they don’t fully operate in that category. In this case, just like in human fables, silver is deadly to them.”
“Speaking of, when you’re in battle, do you just spellcast more stars?”