Chapter Nineteen
Macallan
“You’ve really outdone yourself, Mais,” I speak into the crook of Maisie’s neck as she sways in my arms slowly, completely at odds with the heavy beat of the song currently playing.
“Have I?” She leans her head back to look up at me, a smile on her lips. Lips I can’t resist tasting as I dip my face to hers, pressing our lips together.
“No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”
“I just... This is the last year you’ll be here, with all your friends and your teammates. I wanted to make it special.”
“You’re so convinced that I’m not going to get into UVA’s medical program?”
“Not convinced, just preparing for every outcome.”
“What if I told you I didn’t get in?” I ask, working to keep my expression neutral, though that proves rather difficult given the way my head is swimming from all the shots that have been shoved in my hand all night.
Honestly, I’m pretty impressed that I’m still standing.
“You heard back?”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t get in?” She tries to hide her disappointment, but I still see it, etched into every line of her face.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You just said, and I quote, what if I told you I didn’t get in, end quote.”
“It was a hypothetical question.”
“Don’t do that. Did you get in or didn’t you?” She huffs, eyes searching mine for the answer.
I lean in close, keeping my voice at just above a whisper as my lips graze her ear.
“I got in.”
She pulls back so fast that I nearly topple forward, but then her hands are on my face as she’s searching my expression for any signs that I’m fucking with her, which I would never do. Not over something like this.
“You got in?” She practically sobs and my chest expands.
I knew she cared. I just didn’t know she cared this much.
I feared that maybe I was inflating how she truly felt out of fear that she didn’t feel as strongly about me as I do about her, but I can now see just how wrong I was.
And it fills me with a sort of relief that I couldn’t put into words if I tried.
“I got in.” I can’t help but laugh as she throws her arms around my neck and hugs me like I’m the only thing tethering her to the earth. A position I do not take lightly.
I hug her back just as intensely, burying my face into her neck as I lift her against me.
Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life. Being with all my friends, my teammates, her. Though, for as amazing as tonight has been, this right here is the highlight for me. The confirmation to something I didn’t realize how desperately I needed.
That she’s in this. That we both are. And thank fuck for it because I don’t think I could survive the alternative.
“I love you,” I speak against her skin.
“I love you, too.” She squeezes me harder. “So much.”
“As much as I’ve enjoyed this party”—I lower her to her feet—“what do you say we get out of here and celebrate properly?”
“You want to be one of the first to leave your own party?”
“You’re the only one here I care about spending this night with,” I tell her, knowing the statement could not be truer. “What do you say? I’m rather looking forward to seeing if you meant what you said outside... Anything I want, yeah?”
“Anything.” She nods, eyes darkening in desire.
“That’s my girl.” My lips touch hers again, anticipation rocking through me.
“Tell me this is real,” she murmurs against my mouth.
“What is real?” I pull back to meet her eyes.
“This. Me and you. I feel like I’m living in a dream, and one day, someone is going to wake me up, and this will all be over.”
“It’s real,” I assure her. “Though I sometimes find myself fearing the same thing. Because I’m afraid I don’t deserve you, and one day you’re going to realize it too.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You promise?”
“On everything that I am.”
Her words bring another smile to my lips.
“I’m not going anywhere either.”
“You promise?”
“On every star in the fucking sky. With my very life.” I kiss her again. “You’re mine, Mais.”
“Yours,” she agrees.
“Now let’s get the hell out of here. If I have to spend another second not buried inside of you, I might die.”
“By all means, Mr. Stewart.” She steps back. “Lead the way.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this birthday?” Maisie asks, her breath warm against my chest as she speaks.
“A million.” I tighten my arm around her.
“A million wasn’t on the scale.”
“Still a million.” I kiss the top of her head. “No one has ever done for me what you did tonight, Mais. It means so much, truly. But you being here with me means an immense amount more.”
“Just try to get rid of me.” She snuggles closer.
“Get rid of you?” I snort. “I’d be more worried about me chaining myself to you so that you can never escape me.”
“And you think I would object?” She props her chin on my chest, looking up at me.
“I can think of a time when being near me was the last thing you wanted.”
“I could say the same to you.”
“I’ve never not wanted to be near you, Maisie.
I just let my fear and uncertainty get the better of me,” I admit.
“Even months after I ended things with you, I still thought about you endlessly. I tried to reason with myself, convince myself that it was just good sex. But I think deep down I knew all along.”
“Knew what?” Those beautiful blue eyes meet mine.
“That you were someone I wasn’t capable of letting go. Trust me, I tried. Even took to lying to myself to make it easier.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I did something similar. Only, instead of trying to convince myself you didn’t matter, I harnessed my hurt and anger and let it manifest into hatred. It was easier to hate you than to admit the truth.”
“And what was the truth?”
“That I fell in love with you the night we met. That I was pathetically desperate for any scrap of attention you’d give me.
And that when you rejected me, I took to doing things I’m not proud of under the guise that it had nothing to do with you, when in reality, you were the only reason I was doing them. ”
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’ll never be able to say that enough.”
“I’m not looking for an apology. I just want you to know the truth.”
“Well, how’s this for a bit of truth. After I ended things, every girl I hooked up with for the next year, I pictured she was you. Even accidentally called one by your name in the middle of sex.” I trail my fingers through her silky curls, pushing them over her shoulder.
“You didn’t?” She barks out a laugh.
“Oh, I most certainly did. So, as you see, you weren’t the only one trying to fool yourself.”
“Weird how we were both living in delusion over the other. I assumed you never thought about me at all.”
“I assumed the same about you. I mean, other than to loathe me, of course.”
“Of course.” She smiles and the sight steals the fucking breath from my lungs.
How I did any of that... How I denied myself this for so long is a feat even I can’t believe I accomplished.
“But now you’re stuck with me.”
“And you with me.”
“Guess it’s a good thing with you is all I want to be.” I roll, forcing her to her back as I rest my weight on top of her. “Well, that and in you.” I settle between her legs, a wicked smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.
“Again?” She laughs, her arms draping around my neck as I press a kiss to her jaw, her cheek, the tip of her nose.
“When are you going to learn, Mais? When it comes to you, I won’t ever get enough.” I grind my painfully hard erection into her core, finding her already slick with desire, sending my own arousal skyrocketing.
“Ever?”
“I mean, I’m happy to try.” I line myself at her entrance. “Over. And over.” I slide inside of her in one swift thrust, watching her eyes close for a brief moment as she adjusts to me. “And over again.”
“Mac...” she pants, urging me to move.
“But don’t get your hopes up because I don’t see an end in sight to the incessant way I crave you.” I pull out a couple of inches and slowly push back in.
“Good.” She pulls my face down to hers. “Because I don’t ever want this to end.” She presses her mouth to mine. “Now shut up and fuck me.”
“As my girl wishes.” I purr.
And then I do just that.