Chapter 21 Fire #2
“I saw you leave, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to miss the fireworks. The guys almost have them ready to go. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” His concern surprises me. I thought he’d want nothing to do with me after the other night. He certainly didn’t then.
“I’m fine. I thought I saw a light on in the cabin, but it turns out it was nothing. My eyes playing tricks on me or something. I was just heading back up to the barn,” I say.
His chest sags with a sigh of relief, his hands propped up on his hips. Miles’s usual conversation stance. It’s almost as if he has to brace himself to interact with anyone. “Okay, good. You left in such a hurry I thought maybe something was wrong.”
“No, I’m good,” I assure him, fidgeting with the hem of my dress.
“Good. That’s good.”
“Okay well–” I start.
“I just wanted to–” he says at the same time.
An awkward, dry laugh bubbles up my throat. “You go,” I gesture for him to continue.
“Alright. I just wanted to talk about the other night…” He says, trailing off. A spark of something flits across his face. Shyness? It can’t be.
“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t really thinking straight,” I rush out. The last thing I need is another rejection from Miles. The other night was more than enough. I’d rather give him an easy out and just skip this conversation altogether.
A boom rattles the air from behind us, then a flash of red light. The fireworks have started. Hopefully the guys have enough so we don’t miss the entire show. It sure looked like they did in that crate.
The red light illuminates the right side of his face, casting him in a slight glow. Dark stubble already coats his jaw. My fingers itch with the need to reach out and touch it.
“Yeah you were pretty drunk. I didn’t realize you were still such a party girl,” Miles says. I grimace at his harsh words.
Boom. Boom. More fireworks go off in flashes of blue and green.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Still? You don’t know what kind of person I am, Autry. Just because we hooked up one night four years ago doesn’t mean you get to judge me,” I snap. Red rushes to my cheeks as the anger spills over.
Boom.
This man has a power over my emotions I desperately wish he didn’t have.
I shouldn’t care what he thinks of me. It doesn’t matter if he thinks I’m some party girl.
But for some reason, it hurts more than it should.
I’m used to people thinking that of me. I like to have fun, I’m pretty spontaneous, I go on a lot of dates.
But I’m not dumb. I work hard, and I’m good at my job. I’m a great friend. I’m sick of having to defend myself to people in my life, especially my own family, when I want to let loose and have fun every once in a while.
It seems like no matter how much work I do, how many nights I stay in reading a book or starting a new project, people only remember all of the other stuff. I’ll forever be a one night stand type of girl to Miles, and he will always think that’s a bad thing.
“I’m not judging you, that’s not what I meant–” he starts in a fluster, his dark eyes wild.
Boom.
“I don’t care what you meant. I get that you hate me, okay?
You’ve made that abundantly clear. No one is forcing you to be around me.
I’ll be out of your hair soon enough, you’re not obligated to be around me.
I thought we could be friends, but clearly I was wrong.
That’ll never happen.” My hands are shaking with either anger, embarrassment, disappointment or a mix of all three.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Miles’s face lights up red and orange in the light of the fireworks.
I shouldn’t be this worked up, but he really hurt me the other night. Even if I was a little out of my mind. The last thing I need is Miles coming over here and making me feel worse than I already do.
“Stop saying I hate you, Katie,” Miles yells, catching me off guard.
I jump a few inches in the air. “Shit, I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to yell. I just– I can’t stand when you say that.
” He moves closer to me, closing the distance between us.
My heart rate speeds up at his close proximity, my hands itching to reach out and grab him.
I hold them crossed to my chest as tight as I can.
Miles stares at me for what feels like an eternity, but is probably only thirty seconds, and shakes his head. “God, you’re so infuriating,” he says softly. I can barely hear him over the sound of the fireworks.
“Excuse me?” My hand comes up over my chest as I step back. He follows immediately, as if pulled by an invisible force. His jaw hardens as he holds my gaze, crowding over me. I lean into him slightly, pulled by that same force.
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what you do to me,” he grumbles.
“You make it your goal to push my limits. You have to know you are constantly in my head. No matter what I do, or where I am, you’re like a tapeworm in my brain or something.
It’s infuriating. Right when I get you out of my head, you show back up here to torture my mind again saying I hate you.
As if I could ever hate you. And then, I get around you and I say the wrong things, and it’s not what I mean.
It’s like my brain doesn’t function properly or something. ”
My chest rises and falls, my breathing picking up speed. I’m torn between hating him for everything he just said and taunting him some more to see if he’ll push me up against the wall at my back. I can’t remember the last time I was this turned on. Brimming with red-hot need.
Maybe four years ago, in a bar in Utah.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Did you just compare me to a tapeworm?” I say dryly. “So much for becoming friends.”
Boom. Boom. Bright, purple light covers the ranch.
“I don’t want to be your friend,” he growls.
“Great. Thanks for saying that. I didn’t really need confirmation, but what’s another hit while I’m down, I guess,” I start to step around him, eager to get to my car and get out of here before I start to cry. “I don’t really feel like watching fireworks tonight, I’m going back to my cabin–”
“Katie, stop.” Miles grabs my arm as I try to squeeze around him. His hand is warm on my skin, sending shivers up my spine. Where I expect to see anger and annoyance on his face, there’s something softer.
His eyes dart down to my lips and linger there, sending a warm feeling straight to my gut. It’s so hard to stay mad at him when he looks at me like that. Like he wants me as much as I want him. A low sound comes from the back of his throat, like he’s physically restraining himself from me.
“What do you want, Miles?” I watch as the final thread of his control snaps.
“What do I want?” He laughs, but there’s no humor in his eyes. “What I want is to be able to control myself when I’m around you.” He sighs, resting his forehead on mine. My eyes fall shut. “I would light the world on fire just to keep you warm, Katie. And, I’m not sure what to do with that.”
Before I can even begin to process his admission, Miles leans in, crashing his lips into mine.
For a split second, I’m so surprised I don’t know what to do. He looks just as shocked as I am, his brown eyes wide as he realizes what he just did. He starts to pull away from me, but I grab his shirt in my fist, pulling him back in to me.
I’m not letting him go this time.
He kisses me back, his tongue sweeping past my lips, setting off sparks.
The fireworks behind us go off every couple of seconds lighting up the sky.
He groans over the loud booms as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in.
Rough calluses brush through my thin dress, scraping along my hip bones.
He tastes like longing and cedar wood and mine.
He’s not my anything, I remind myself. I’m losing my mind.
I feel something hard at my back as he pushes me backward. The cabin. It’s freeing, being under his control. Letting him tower over me, pin me against the wall, his weight pushing up against me. For once, I’m not in charge of anything.
And I love it.
My palms press against his chest, finally set free to touch him.
It feels like all summer has been leading to this.
Every memory of four years ago, every heated glance, every argument.
We fit together so well. Fighting it feels wrong, but this feels so right.
His hips push up against mine, setting off an involuntary hum from my throat.
Sparks ignite in my heart, just like the fireworks going off all around us.
Saying Miles is the best kisser I’ve ever had is an under exaggeration.
I forgot how mind-blowing kissing him is.
His lips claim mine like he knows me. Like we’ve been doing this forever.
We melt into each other as I frantically grab at his collar, like I can’t get close enough to him.
We are explosive.
My hands find his beard scruff as he kisses my jaw, then my neck, then right below my ear. I’m burning up, my entire body warming at his touch. The air feels twenty degrees warmer than when we started talking. I feel like a living flame.
Fire.
The word repeats on a loop in my head as his lips return to mine, claiming me in a rough kiss.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire?
Fire!
My eyes fly open at a bright light coming from the field Parker is lighting the fireworks off from. It takes me a second to register what I’m looking at, my heart still in a haze from the Miles effect.
“Fire,” I choke out, pulling away.
“What?” he grumbles, scrambling to not let me go.
“Miles. Fire!” I step out of his arms, pointing towards the field. He spins around, hair mussed and lips swollen. All I want is to tackle him to the ground. My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath.
“Fuck,” he spits out, straightening out his black t-shirt and running a hand through his hair. He starts down the porch steps, then abruptly turns back to me, grabbing my wrist.
He pulls me in for another hurried kiss before whispering in my ear, “Do not think this is finished.”
I’m only able to nod as he runs over to Claro, swinging a leg up, and riding back to the barn as fast as he can. Leaving me on the porch burning up brighter than the flame in the field.