19. Rian
Rian
I t had been a long session, and my fingers ached in a good way.
“That’s a wrap,” Kinsey said, giving me a high five.
I pulled my hair out of the hair tie and shook it out, pleased with this take.
Kinsey was an up-and-coming musician who had a smoky bluesy sound similar to mine. “Thanks for the help.” He was an alpha, tall and burly with tattoos everywhere. He looked like a biker, not a soulful musician, but he was a teddy bear.
I stepped out of the recording booth into the studio for some water, and Ben was there, Ember standing to his left.
She lit up when she saw me. “Rian! You were amazing!” she squealed, her face flushed, her red hair flowing around her in waves. She smelled like sensual lemon cake, but also a tropical fruity note that hadn’t been there before, along with the woodsy scent of Ben.
I took her wrist and inhaled, the scents ricocheting off my brain until I wanted to steal her away to my nest. “You smell amazing.”
“Thanks,” she said, her lemon scent getting sweeter.
Kinsey came out of the recording booth and raised his eyebrows. “Oops, sorry, didn’t know you had a new omega.”
“She’s not.” I dropped Ember’s wrist, remembering all the reasons this wouldn’t work out. Like my own wallowing in being unable to make music. Like three omegas being too much.
I didn’t miss the look of hurt on her face, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Was she really that sure her omega partner and now this new alpha would like me? Would like Ben?
“Still, a lady friend.” Kinsey nodded at Ember. “Hi, I’m Kinsey.”
“You’re Kinsey?” Ember’s eyes got wide, and she squealed again.
Ben turned to Ember, looking amused. “You’ve heard of him? Of course you have. You’ve ferreted out all the indie bands on the Internet.”
Ember grinned at the gentle alpha. “I love ‘Blues on a River.’ And ‘Stand with Me’ gives me chills.”
“Yeah?” Kinsey looked pleasantly surprised. “Well, thank you kindly.”
Jealousy stabbed me. I wondered if she liked Burns. If she was as passionate about “From Ashes” as she was Evermore West. Or, apparently, Kinsey.
I shoved the bitter, helpless feeling away. I was hopeless.
Ember grinned at Ben and then me. “I know you didn’t let me loose in the studio to fangirl all over the musicians, though.”
“Oh, please.” Ben sat down at the fader table. “Kinsey thinks he has, like, three fans. It would do him some good.”
“What? No.” Ember’s mouth dropped. “Hell no. There’s a massive cult following on the Internet.”
Kinsey looked more and more pleased, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck.
I wanted to warn him, tell him that was the path of madness. Finding out you were suddenly famous, enough that complete strangers told you how much your music helped them, was exhilarating but terrifying.
There were many more people to disappoint. But then, Kinsey wasn’t me. Maybe he’d get over his own fears and produce more albums. The one we were working on was almost done, and Ben was sure it would be a hit. Ben was rarely wrong about those things, and I agreed.
I pulled some bottled water out of the mini fridge, and Ember sat on the faded brown leather couch. Her scent got a little bit stronger when she sat where Ben and I usually sat. And sometimes decided to fuck each other senseless when no one else was around.
Ember asked about the studio, and Ben was in his element, talking about how the different pieces of equipment worked. But then she turned her big blue eyes to me and asked about playing guitar for the album, acting like it was an amazing thing.
Pulled into her spell, lured like the fey creature she was, I talked about playing the same few chords over and over, how it was almost soothing.
The conversation switched over to indie artists and soon I was laughing.
Ember stood up to admire the extensive album collection to the left of the room. “Oooh, you have original LPs.”
“Nothing sounds like vinyl,” Ben said in his “I will be taking no argument” tone.
“Careful, you’ll date yourself,” I said, fiddling with the hair tie on my wrist. “I’m pretty sure we’re older than Ember.”
Ember smirked and it was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. It made my heart lighter to see, like I was a dying plant needing the sun. “He already did that. He told me about making mixtapes. It was the cutest thing ever.”
“Oh, damn.” I wanted to touch her, to brand my scent on her skin too. “I guess we’re both older. I’m only five years younger than Ben.”
“Yep,” she said, sitting next to me. I suddenly wished Ben was sitting on the other side of the couch, and then our scents could really mingle. “I’m twenty-four.”
“A baby.” I turned to her, and she looked up at me like I was the moon, a light in the darkness. Her face was shining and open and I knew I’d put that look of joy on her face, somehow, by being myself.
At least, part of myself.
“I still have a better record collection than you,” she said. “I inherited my grandma’s LPs and she has some original Danny Ray.”
Excitement raced over me.
Ben nearly fell out of his chair. “Stop. No, wait, you’re serious?”
“As a heart attack,” she said, looking pleased with herself. “It holds the place of honor in my collection.”
“We need to have a listening party.” My gaze traveled over her green shirt. The fabric looked soft, and I wanted to trail my hands over it.
“At my house?” She sounded hopeful, her eyes shining brighter. “You could come over and meet West and Alejandro.”
“Is that this new alpha?” I had no idea if I wanted to deal with two new people, but I couldn’t say no anymore. Not with her scent so close and her talking about music like she needed it to breathe like we did.
“Technically he’s not new,” she said, watching my face. Probably looking for censure. “He’s been sending me food sight unseen for six months.”
“Sight unseen?” Ben cocked his head. Some of his blond hair fell in his face and I wanted to shove it out of the way.
“My cousin bonded an alpha chef last year and she brought in the most epic lunches. I would steal a bit, but then Alejandro started sending food for me. But he hadn’t met me yet, so he didn’t know I was good-looking.” She sounded uncertain and embarrassed.
I wanted to touch her cheek so badly. I could almost see myself doing it, touching the place where I scented Ben the strongest. “And that would be the only reason for someone to be nice to you? Because they thought you were hot and wanted to sleep with you?”
A look of raw vulnerability crossed her face, and she shrugged. “I mean…yeah. Hot omega sex, right? But then they meet West and decide they can’t handle more than one omega.”
“Idiots,” Ben said darkly. “Who cares about how many omegas?”
I let out a sigh. “You don’t think three omegas is pushing it?”
Some of Ember’s expression closed off, and she gave me the smile all her customers saw. “West and I have been together for eight years. If someone doesn’t like him, there’s no point.”
“I mean…” I paused, trying to articulate. “How do you share a nest? You don’t feel territorial over him being near you?”
“Do you dislike Ben in your nest? He makes me feel safe.” Ember looked away. “He’s been there for me through thick and thin. My nest smells right because he’s there.”
“Like how my nest smells good because it smells like Ben.” Something like understanding unfolded inside me. “I wouldn’t expect you to…not be with West.” I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m garbage with words.”
“It’s fine.” Ember’s voice was still bright, but that vulnerability was gone.
I was an ass for hurting her. I wanted to be special to her, wanted her to keep looking at me like she could show me all the vulnerable pieces. I had to give a little piece of myself over if I was going to make her understand my hesitation. Why I kept pulling away.
“Two omegas,” I started. “I mean, I wouldn’t expect you two to…” I paused, feeling like I was breaking off a piece of my soul.
“To what?” Her voice still sounded so bright but closed off, and the juxtaposition killed me. “Want to be with each other?”
“Want to be with another omega,” I finished, my throat tight. “I’d be the third wheel.”
“Oh, Rian,” Ben said softly. “You would never.”
Understanding flashed over her face. “You think we’d ditch you?” She looked at Ben. “We’d never try to come between you and Ben.”
“I know that,” I said. “But at some point my moodiness will annoy you and?—”
Ember started laughing, like she’s bottled sunshine.
I frowned. “What?”
She shook her head. “Your moodiness is not a turnoff. Wait until you meet West. He’s got you beat in broody.”
“Really?” Ben sounded intrigued, and I laughed.
“It’s my catnip.” She put her hand on Ben’s arm. “In omegas, not alphas.”
“Of course, baby,” Ben said, amused. “Your alphas need to shower you with presents and joy.”
Ember gave me a heated look. “While my omega boys brood in the corner and pretend to be annoyed by my enthusiasm.”
“It’s not annoying,” I sighed. “It’s like flying too close to the sun.”
I sucked in a breath. Maybe I wasn’t a complete moron for thinking there was a chance.
I’d have to meet her other guys first, of course.
“Maybe we could come over,” I said. “For a listening party? You could introduce us to West and Alejandro?”
I wouldn’t know for sure if sharing Ben with another omega and now another alpha would bother me until I met them. I couldn’t promise it wouldn’t, but I could try.
“If you want to,” she said like it was a gauntlet at our feet. In a way, it was. If we didn’t like each other, then this thing, this feeling whatever it was, would be over.
“I’ll give you my number. I have work. You can come around six? West should be home around then, and Alejandro swings by around six or seven depending on how busy the restaurant is.”
“It’s a date,” I said, meaning it, wondering what the fuck I was doing, but I couldn’t turn away now. Not now she smelled like pack.