42. West #2
“Yep.” Alejandro rubbed his thumb on my wrist. “My dad is a beta and my mom an omega. They’re in Mexico right now, but I’d like the pack to meet them when they come back in the winter.”
“Okay,” I said, knowing he was going somewhere with that line of thought.
“My parents are stupid in love. I used to make gagging noises as a kid.”
I smiled a little at that.
“But as I got older, I envied them. I saw my dad wake up every day, trying to be a better man, even if it was in a small way, for my mom. And my mom did the same.”
I snorted. “I don’t know if I can say I’m a little better every day. There is definitely some backsliding.”
Especially lately , I thought.
“Not a better person,” he said. “Just trying to do better. I was terrible yesterday. I came home, gave everyone a kiss, and passed out.”
He did. He didn’t make it two minutes into the chef show before he was lightly snoring. “That was fine. You’re cute when you sleep.”
He smiled. “See? I thought I sucked, and you were fine with it.”
I fiddled with my plate. I felt less stressed out for some reason, and it wasn’t just because I liked his scent. I knew Alejandro cared about me, about Ember. About Ben and Rian.
Hearing his worries and fears along with his desire to be better made him feel more…relatable.
“These are all mostly good changes,” I said finally. “But I don’t like change at all so it’s still making me cranky even though I should be dancing around, happy.”
“You’re allowed to be cranky because everything is changing too much.” Alejandro nodded like I was being perfectly reasonable and not unhinged.
Boo-hoo, too many good things were happening to me. My teenage self would have killed to be here, right now, feeling safe alone in a room with an alpha.
More than safe. I was plotting the next time I could get him to fuck me.
“I decided to move here with my parents,” Alejandro added. “It was exciting. Logan was opening a new restaurant and wanted me to be sous chef. I helped him design the menu, the seating area, the name.” He shook his head.
I looked around. “It’s nice. Fancy without being snobby.”
“I was utterly certain I was going to fuck it up,” he said. “I just cook food. What do I know about running an actual restaurant? Logan walked me through the finances I had already helped with, the seating arrangements, everything.”
I nodded to let him know I was listening.
He smiled, soft and genuine. “I knew more than I thought, but still. It all seemed like it was too good to be true. I was sure I would screw up. I used to have nightmares of opening night, realizing I forgot to order silverware.” He kept holding my hand, his skin warming mine.
“I told Logan and he laughed and said if I forgot to order silverware he’d borrow some until the order came in.
” He patted my hand. “There was nothing to screw up. I did forget things. I messed up the napkin order and that seemed like the end of the world at the time, and now it’s hilarious.
The guys still give me hell about making sure I order the right napkins. ”
I smirked, filing that away so I could tell the entire rest of the pack to spring on Alejandro at a later date.
“But it was fine. We had the wrong napkins until the right ones came in.” He shrugged.
I gave him a withering look. “People aren’t napkins. You’re telling me things will be fine, and I can’t screw up, but I can and will.”
“Sure you will, just like me.” He gave me a big grin. “And then we’ll figure out the fix and move on.”
“It’s not that easy.” I scowled. We were back to me and my issues. I preferred the part of the conversation where he told me all his secret worries and fears.
“It’s simple, not easy.” He kissed the back of my hand. “It was hard, I’m sure, for you to trust Ember.”
My scowl got deeper, and I debated if he was going to pry, ask why I had such trust issues.
“I’m scared I’m going to mess up,” he said instead. “And I had loving parents who still nag me about when I’m going to settle down.”
“You can get them off your back now,” I said. “There’s that.”
“I can,” he said. “I just want you to know it’s okay to be annoyed about changes, even though it’s good and happy changes. There’s nothing wrong with feeling cautious. And you’re not going to screw anything up.”
I wanted to refute it, but so far, evidence proved the contrary. Ember had a panic attack and we went into heat, and so far the pack had just rolled with the punches. Neither of us had enjoyed nest shopping, so instead we went shopping for random stuff we didn’t need and it was better.
“I’m glad you came.” He kissed the back of my hand.
“Keep doing that, and I’ll find a place to drag you off to.”
He gave me a heated look. “Who says I don’t already have a supply closet in mind?”
I was very tempted, but public sex did nothing for me. Too…exposed. I squinted at him. “Go back to work, alpha. You’re distracting me from my own job.”
“Fair enough, my amor.” He stood up and leaned over, his tropical scent invading me. He pressed his mouth against mine, and for a moment I lost myself into the kiss.
It wasn’t just about lust or desire. I needed his mouth; I couldn’t picture not being able to touch him like this. His mouth was soft, and he tasted a little salty, and I lost myself in the feel of him.
I could do this forever , I thought. I feathered my fingers over his cheek, touching the smooth skin. Knowing he would never hurt me, never a lay a hand on me in anger. I wasn’t afraid of him or of any potential future where he would use his words or body to hurt me like so many alphas had.
I trusted him. I froze, and he sealed the kiss. I made a small noise. I didn’t want him to stop and leaned forward enough that he returned the kiss.
We kissed until I was out of breath, and then I leaned my forehead against him. It felt like a miracle to trust this man, to trust anyone but Ember and her family.
Maybe if I could trust him, bonding was on the table. Someday, in the future.
I rubbed my cheek against his. “Go back to work. Bring me snacks later,” I said, my voice hoarse.
“Anything,” he said. The romantic bastard used a tone of voice that made it clear he wasn’t just talking about food.
I sighed. “Me too. I…love you too.”
There. Some feelings. He deserved as much.
His face lit up and he kissed me again. “I love you too. You’re making it very hard to go back to work.”
“Pretty sure Logan is going to come looking for you in a minute,” I said, still rubbing my cheek on his shoulder.
“You want to make that bet?” He gave me a saucy grin.
I shook my head. “My boss will have my head if I don’t finish this. Or, worse, make me come into the office more.”
“All right, all right.” He stepped back, dragging his hand down my arm. “I’ll return to work and check on you later.”
True to his word, he let me work in peace. The conference room was small, and with the door shut I didn’t hear the sounds of the restaurant as much. Alejandro brought me a steady supply of drinks and food and then went back to work.
It was a nice day, and my instincts settled. I could see myself going between Cosmic Bonds and the restaurant until I got used to the house. Maybe I could even crash the studio, I pondered.
It took until later in the night, after we were all tangled in one another’s arms in Rian’s nest, for me to realize that I was searching for my place in the pack, for who I was when I was around them. I knew who I was around Ember, but the other men were question marks.
Slowly, I was carving out a place with them, forging connections that Ember brought to me but didn’t require her presence.
It was sort of nice, as strange as it was.