Chapter 24
Tyler
I’m standing in my garage, checking out the damage on the bike I was working on when I got in the accident the other day. Looking down at the stitches, I’m lucky the injuries I sustained weren’t worse. When I look up, I’m grateful I wasn’t on the motorcycle Jerry gifted me.
I got the second bike as something fun for myself, and I took it out because I needed to get my mind off Indiana.
It was a stupid thing to do because I ended up swerving to avoid a squirrel on the road.
Luckily, I wasn’t going fast, the motorcycle sustaining minor damage.
The gravel on the road led to some minor injuries and I just count myself lucky.
My phone screen wasn’t so lucky, although it still worked enough for Malloy to snatch it and steal Indiana’s number to call her while I was being evaluated in the emergency room—sly bastard.
Guess using my locker number as my phone passcode wasn’t the most secure choice.
I only got stitches due to some larger rocks on the ground when I landed and my shoulder sustained some road rash that should heal with minimal scarring.
I wasn’t far from the house and my friends just happened to be driving over to my place to check on me since I’ve been in a foul mood with everything going on with Indiana.
I guess I should be grateful they care, but it hasn’t led to any answers when it comes to where I stand with her.
When she walked out after I pretty much told her I wanted to give her everything, Malloy strutted in like he was king of the world. I saw the look of satisfaction on his face and I knew right then that he called her.
“You can thank me now or later, but I usually enjoy a box of cookies and a smutty book,” he told me and sat down next to the emergency room gurney I was lying in.
I rolled my eyes and laughed at his cockiness that night.
It’s hard to keep a serious face around him.
I know he’s only looking out for me. He knows how conflicted I’ve been with my feelings for Indy this entire time.
Most of all, he understands all I’ve wanted is to explain myself from years ago and see if she’ll give me a second chance.
Now I walk out of my garage, annoyed I won’t be able to enjoy the nice weather on my good motorcycle. I head into the house when my phone rings. I note the phone number for the animal shelter appearing on my screen.
A few months ago I was lonely, so I had gotten approved to be a foster caretaker.
I almost adopted a dog immediately, but with the shifts at the firehouse, I thought it might be unfair to leave a dog at home without supervision.
River has his mom and Kennedy to care for Lola when he’s on shift, but I have no one to do the same for me.
I hadn’t heard from them since then, so I had forgotten about it. I pick up the phone, curious what they have to say after so many months of silence.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hi. Is this Mr. Hunter?” a woman says on the opposite end of the line.
“Yes, this is he.”
“Hi. This is Cora at Paws for Hearts. I see you have volunteered to be a foster caretaker. We have a little one here that needs to be cared for tonight. Are you available? He’s a little pup, about a year old,” she explains, rattling off the details of the dog.
The more she describes of the dog, the more my sour mood dissipates.
I was expecting to sit at home thinking of Indiana and how she hasn’t called me, but now I can distract myself with a little dog instead.
I don’t have a shift for another two days, so this will be a good way to keep my mind occupied.
Once I get the details of what I need to do, I call River to get some advice. Instead of helping me with how I should prepare, he decides to meet me at my place. Although I hang out with River plenty with the rest of our friends, I don’t see him on my own very often.
Thirty minutes later, there’s a knock on my door. I’m greeted with an excited River rubbing his hands together.
“Dude, are you ready for my master class on dogs 101?” River says as if he’s the dog guru.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t think it’s that hard.”
“Hunter, you’re going to be begging to adopt this dog after I’m done with you.” His smile is wide as he nods at me.
I laugh at his confidence and he makes his way through my house, grabbing a bag at his feet of a few toys he’s brought for the little furball roommate I’m about to house for the next twenty-four hours. I’ll admit, I can’t wait for the distraction and fun that awaits.
“Holy shit, I might actually pee my fucking pants. You’re telling me each time you moved your arm to get up, the dog got in position to hump you?” I look over to see Clay and Malloy crying from laughter on the couch at the firehouse as I make lunch for the guys.
Even our captain is trying to cover up his smirk behind his phone.
“This isn’t fucking funny. It was the longest twenty-four hours of my life guys. I mean, if I even attempted to get off the couch, that fifteen-pound dog started humping an extremity of mine,” I protest.
“Aww, poor Hunter is scared of a sweet, little dog,” River pouts. “Clay, call mom. Maybe she can comfort Hunter because I think he’s scarred for life.”
That earns me another roar of laughter and I flip him the bird, but I can’t help the smile that I try and fail to cover up. The night with that little foster dog was traumatizing, but hilarious all rolled into one. At least it got my mind off of Indy, which was the point.
“Okay, I’ll admit, it wasn’t all bad, but I think I’ll call the fostering done for me.” I say as I finish up the spaghetti and meatballs.
“That’s too bad. Dogs are the fucking best,” River says, wiping the stray tears from his face.
“Great, then I’ll just borrow yours when I need my fix,” I say. “Also, lunch is ready.”
“I’m starving,” Malloy says, patting his belly.
River chimes in with, “You can borrow Lola for like an hour, but that’s it. She has separation anxiety from her daddy.”
Clay groans and rolls his eyes.
“You have something to say, brother?” River asks his twin.
“No, I just think you exaggerate.” He eyes River as he passes him to grab a plate. “You and I know she loves mom more than she loves you.”
“You best take that back.” River points in his brother’s direction.
I lean against the counter and watch it all unfold, knowing it will progress on its own.
“No, because I think anyone that sees Lola with mom knows the truth, including Ma,” Clay says, confidence oozing from his tone.
“You’re an ass. You’re just jealous because I’m the fun brother,” River throws back.
I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. The moment I pull it out, the bickering between the brothers is all but forgotten. A text from Indy is staring back at me.
Indy
Hey. You have some time to meet up and talk?
I’m looking down at my phone when Malloy sidles up next to me.
“You okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah,” I answer without looking up from my phone. “Indy just texted.”
“Yeah? Sound promising?” He twirls spaghetti on his fork and takes a bite.
“I guess it could go either way. I mean, she isn’t asking us to talk about the divorce right off the bat at least,” I say, moving my hand through my hair.
When I’ve gotten texts from Indy previously, she usually asked if we could meet up to talk about the divorce. I might be dissecting this simple request a bit, but she isn’t mentioning the divorce this time around. That has to be good, right?
“I’d take that as a good sign, man,” Malloy says between bites. “You should have seen how concerned she looked when she arrived at the hospital. That girl is not over whatever you two have together.”
“Over it or not, she has a boyfriend. Plus, we have a lot of stuff we need to talk about. Our past is a bit messy and we need to discuss that before we can move forward. I don’t know if she can forgive me for the lies I’ve told.” I look at my friend, irritation evident in my tone.
“We’ve all made mistakes in our past. She has to understand that. You were going through a hard time. Regarding the boyfriend, that’s a decision she has to make. But all you can do is say your piece. What I can say, Hunter, is you’ve been a standup guy since the moment I met you.”
I nod, grabbing a plate of food myself and sitting at the table, my thoughts drifting to a time in my life when I felt more lost than found, and all I wanted to do was be a drifter.
I look around the room and see a group of guys I now consider family, but it wasn’t too long ago I thought I’d be on my own.
The thing is, since I started therapy, I’ve really tried to put my best foot forward. Malloy has gotten to see that side of me. But Indiana saw a rougher side of me when I left her behind. I gave her a piece of myself that was heartless because in that period of my life, I died alongside Georgie.
I’ll admit, I was being selfish, although I thought I was being selfless.
I thought being alone was best for me. Losing Georgie put me in a downward spiral in my own life.
I set off on a tailspin, thinking she was better off without me.
It wasn’t until I saw the errors of my ways that I realized what I lost leaving her behind. But it was already too late.
Six months after Georgie passed away, my contract was up for renewal with the Army. That’s when I decided not to continue serving, and I returned to the States for good. My time in the Army was behind me.
I thought coming back to civilian life would be refreshing, possibility bringing clarity, knocking some sense into me after what I did to Indiana. But all it did was cast a shadow of depression over me, further darkness taking over my thoughts. I knew I needed to seek help.
Many of the guys I was stationed with stayed in the Army, so I was on my own when I returned.
I wandered on my own for some time. The only people I spoke to here were Jerry and Scarlet.
I’d call and check in with them, and they’d beg for me to stay with them.
But I could tell I wasn’t well, so I’d continue my travels along the various states, hoping my mood would improve.
It wasn’t until I sought help with a therapist that things finally improved.
Rodney, my therapist in New Mexico, is the true hero of my story.
Aside from Boston, I stayed there the longest, making sure I took the time to heal mentally.
He made sure I cared for myself, realizing I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after Georgie’s death.
Witnessing such a horrific death, on top of so many other atrocities, took a toll on me and I hadn’t come to terms with it.
If it hadn’t been for Rodney’s expertise, I don’t know where I’d be today.
He encouraged me to look at my days as positive instead of negative.
I was living with survivor’s guilt; something I hadn’t quite come to terms with until my work with Rodney began.
Georgie was standing on a part of the rig I had been at just minutes before.
And for a better part of a year, I had blamed myself that I hadn’t taken the bullet that took his life.
If Malloy knew the version of me that Indiana knew growing up, he might see me in a different light.
He sees me as carefree and lighthearted.
But Indiana sees two sides now. Where I was once brooding and mysterious, I’m now optimistic.
I’m really trying to live like each day is a gift, because Georgie doesn’t get to do that for himself.
I know the guys at the station keep saying I keep things close to the chest—and when it comes to my past that hasn’t changed, but I won’t let opportunities pass me by anymore when it comes to my future.
As Rodney has reminded me—life gave me a second chance and I won’t take it for granted.
I need to live life to the fullest whenever possible.
That’s why I’m so adamant to explain myself to Indy, even if it changes nothing between us moving forward.
She deserves to know where I was coming from in that last letter to her.
I was wrong to do what I did, but she should know that I regret my choices.
Mentally, I was sick and I was angry at the circumstances life chose to hand me. When I wrote her, I really believed I deserved to have been gone and Georgie should have been the one living. But in many ways, I thought I was doing her a favor.
I’m not saying life hasn’t dealt her a shitty hand as well, but I simply did a poor job handling everything on my end. I’ll own up to it.
I just hope this text means she’ll be open to a conversation and not just shut me down.
I grab my phone and open up our text thread.
Yeah. I get off work tomorrow morning. Would that work?
I see the little dots pop up immediately after I press send.
Indy
Can you swing by after your shift? I’m working from home in the morning.
I’ll text you when I’m headed over.
Indy
See you then.
Sounds like I’ll finally get my chance to talk to her. I know she’ll most likely be upset for the lies I put her through, but she deserves to know the truth. I’ve carried it for far too long and from the way she’s been acting, the bitterness she carries seems to weigh heavy on her shoulders.