Chapter 40 Indiana
Indiana
This is surreal, knowing that Tyler and I are reconnecting.
Not only that, but we’re finally together in a way that I can see him, without hiding behind letters and years of wondering if this is real or not.
I thought about letting him grovel for a longer period of time, but I’ve learned life is too damn short.
Yesterday morning he snuck out before Noah woke up. At one point, I panicked, worried we’d fall asleep and lose track of time, but he set an alarm and woke up before Noah would ever dream of moseying out of bed.
All I can say is having Tyler’s hands exploring my body felt like returning home after years of feeling lost. The man had me seeing stars all night.
Now that my head is finally out of the clouds, reality is setting in. All things I was pushing aside yesterday are starting to filter through, mostly revolving around Noah.
As much as I let my prior relationships fizzle, this thing with Tyler feels serious from the start. Mostly due to the fact we’re married and nothing about this is simple.
“Noah, sweetie, do you want the sauce on the spaghetti tonight, or plain?” Food preferences practically change by the hour at this age.
“No sauce, please!” he shouts from the living room. Then I hear his little feet running over. Luckily, we’re home at a decent time tonight because he didn’t have any tee-ball practice after school.
“How many meatballs do you want?” I’m serving him a little bit of everything and I see his nose scrunch up as I put broccoli on his plate.
“You know the rules. We have to balance our plate with some veggies.” I give him a pointed look.
He shrugs. “Fine. And I want two meatballs please.”
Once I’m done putting his plate on the table, I make one for myself and join him.
“How was school today?” I ask him.
“It was good. We’re learning about volcanos.” His eyes grow wide.
“Wow. Exciting! Did you watch a video?”
“Yes. And Ms. Mendo says she’s going to let us do a project in class with baking soda and vinegar.” He continues talking about it, completely animated about how he’ll get to see a fake volcano in class.
“That sounds fun,” I tell him. I remember Bryce being enthralled by science in the same way.
The older he got, the more complex his stories were regarding his classes.
I have no doubt Noah will be the same way.
At least right now, I can keep up with his science experiments, but I know at some point, this kid will outsmart me.
“We also learned about the temperature of a volcano and the lava!” He throws his hands up, and I laugh.
“Really? How hot does it get?” I can’t help the laugh that escapes.
“Super hot. And not even the firemen can put it out. It’s really hot, Mom,” he explains, his eyes doubling in size. “I wonder if Hunter has seen a volcano erupt.” He looks off in a distance.
My heart flutters at the thought of Tyler. I wonder how he’ll take the news of Tyler and I together, my nerves take off at the prospect. Will he welcome the idea of me with Ty or will he be upset?
I know he likes Tyler, but dating me might bring on a new set of feelings and I’m afraid of how he’ll react. He’s never seen me dating anyone. Maybe I’ve done this all wrong all these years by shielding him and now he’ll be hostile if I bring Tyler around.
I reach for my water and take a sip. Anxiety is taking over as I think about all the scenarios playing out in my head. I’ve really messed up and Noah could be greatly affected by my actions here if things with Tyler go sideways.
I let Noah continue on about his science class, his enthusiasm masking my anxiety attack. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice it, along with my lack of appetite.
Once dinner is finished and cleared, we move through the bedtime routine. I let him read a book aloud. He’s starting to do well with his books, needing little help from me in the last few weeks.
After I say goodnight, I walk out of his room, and pull out my phone. I quickly send a text off to Tyler:
Hey. I hope your shift is going well. When you’re done tomorrow, maybe we can find some time to talk.
I expect to get a text back at some point, but to my surprise, my phone starts ringing within a few minutes.
“What’s wrong, Indy?” Tyler seems panicked.
“Nothing’s wrong per se…” I start.
“Your text sounds like you’re having doubts about something. So, talk to me,” he urges.
“Well, I was thinking about Noah, and I’m just worried about how he’ll react to us is all.” I’m walking out to the kitchen and hoping I’m talking low enough that my voice doesn’t carry.
“You think Noah would be mad to know you and I are together?” Ty sounds concerned.
“I don’t think so, but I’ve never introduced him to anyone I’ve dated. I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, there’s really no way to know how this will go without telling him, Indy.” It’s really quiet wherever he is.
“Aren’t you at the firehouse right now?” I ask him, changing subjects.
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s so quiet. Are you allowed to be on a call with me?”
“Yeah, but I can’t stay long. I walked toward the locker and bunk area. Your text worried me, as if you were having second thoughts,” he confesses.
“I got to thinking that we aren’t just going to be throwing a relationship at him, but a marriage. I started to freak out.” I run my hand down my face.
“Indy, we don’t have to divulge everything to Noah. We introduce things to him at our pace. He doesn’t have to know we’re married. I think we’re still figuring everything out ourselves. If you’re comfortable with that plan, I think that’s the best course of action.”
How is he so calm about this?
“Why are you being so agreeable?” I can’t help but question him.
“You’re forgetting I just waited years to get you back. I’ll fight to keep you. Plus, don’t sound so surprised.” He scoffs. “I may have leaned on my buddy to get some advice.”
“Malloy?” He’s the only one I know well.
“No. Although he agreed with it. Clay is actually the one that suggested us taking it slow with Noah. I mean, he lost his dad at a young age. Even though his mom never dated, he had a lot to say on the matter. He had a lot of good points and I can’t help but say I agree.”
I feel my heart rate coming down and I’m nodding, even though he can’t see me.
“So, we’re good?” he questions as I sit in silence for an extra beat.
“Yeah, all good. I just freaked out,” I reassure him.
I can hear him rustling on his end of the line. “Does that mean I can still see you tomorrow for lunch?”
That pulls a smile from me as I play with a loose strand of my hair. “Yes. Can you come by my office around one?”
“Of course. I’ll bring some food. I know a local sandwich shop I think you’ll like.”
“Perfect.” I feel a thrill rush through me at the thought of seeing him in less than twenty-four hours.
“Oh, and Indy?”
“Yeah?”
“You should know that dessert will be delayed until tomorrow night after Noah goes to bed.”
I hear the dial tone immediately follow while my whole body ignites at the thought of what awaits.
It’s been a week since we started sneaking around either while Noah’s in school or after he’s gone to bed. Today is the first time I’m going to Tyler’s place while Kalli has Noah for the day.
The minute I pull up to this family home, I confirm I’m at the right address.
It’s a blue two-story colonial, with a wraparound porch, a swing, and a red front door.
I envision the large oak trees that surround the front probably look like a Hallmark card during the holidays, with the fall leaves changing colors, along with the beautiful snow in the winter months.
Right now, the light blue paint is pristine, along with the white trim perfectly complimenting all the colors surrounding this beautiful neighborhood. I can’t stop staring at the picturesque view in front of me.
I finally step out of my car, still shocked Tyler is living in this house. I remember him mentioning he’s renting it from Georgie’s parents. My heart tugs at the sorrow that must blanket all of them at the loss of this missing piece in all their lives.
I make my way to the front door, and he swings it open before I even have a chance to ring the bell. He’s dressed in low-hanging basketball shorts and no shirt, his tattoos on full display; he’s completely edible right now. The smile he welcomes me with is enough to have my heart racing.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he says, pulling me in, stealing my breath away with a kiss.
He groans as he deepens the kiss, which is far too inappropriate for something at his front door, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
I take in the woodsy smell he dons after a shower and melt further into him.
His hair is still a little damp as I move my fingers through the ends.
Once I pass the threshold, he kicks the door closed and pins me against it.
“I really missed you,” he says, moving his lips down along the column of my neck.
I giggle. “I can tell.”
“Being around you is never enough. Even if I had infinite hours, they’d never add up to enough with you,” he tells me as he plants open-mouthed kisses along my skin.
I grab his face and bring his lips back to mine and kiss him, relishing this time we have undisturbed. I feel like when we have gotten a moment at lunch or in the evening, I know one of us has to rush off. Right now, we have a few hours together, nowhere to be, so I’ll cherish it.
“If we start this right now, I may not stop, and I want to show you around at least,” he pulls away, a sly little smile on his face.
I’m out of breath, but I nod, somewhat disappointed. He grabs my hand and pulls me, giving me a tour of the house. He tells me that Jerry, Georgie’s father, is a contractor and had put in the time to fix the place up.
Tyler makes sure everything is in working order while they’re away. He finishes the tour in the garage, where the motorcycle Jerry gifted him rests.
“And as you know, this here is my girl,” Tyler says, moving his hand along the seat delicately.