21. Tucker
Tucker
“Things are getting pretty serious with little Baylee Rios then?” Eric looks in the mirror at his reflection after the barber trims his beard a bit shorter.
“Please don’t refer to her like that. It’s creepy man,” I say.
He smirks as he looks through the mirror at me. “I love fucking with you. Come on, you didn’t think I was just going to let this slide?”
“You’re such a dick,” I say to him. Then I swing my gaze over to Franko, the barber, and say, “Maybe you should just shave everything off. I bet Brit would love that.”
“Don’t you dare. She had explicit instructions to keep this nicely trimmed.” My brother rubs his ginger beard that looks too similar to mine.
“It doesn’t matter, you’ll never compare to this handsome specimen,” I say as I stand behind him and do my own appraisal in the mirror.
“Fuck off, Tucky,” my brother says.
“God, I hate that nickname.” I roll my eyes.
“I know, that’s why I used it.” He laughs as he gets up from the chair and shakes Franko’s hand.
We make our way out of the shop and walk to the car outside.
I can’t believe Eric’s getting married tomorrow.
It feels surreal, although he's been wanting to marry Brittany for so long.
They met back in undergrad, broke up for a year in the middle but ended up coming back together.
My brother took his time proposing, mostly because he wanted it to be the right time with law school taking up most of his time and energy.
He’s finally in a place he feels ready to start this phase of life.
Now that our mom is sick, he feels like he’s on the clock in many ways.
Since our chat where he confessed that he felt like she wouldn’t be there during the biggest moments in the future, I can’t keep those thoughts from creeping into my mind too.
I look at him and it’s hard not to feel a pang of envy with the realization our mother will be present for him this weekend, whereas I still have so much up in the air.
One of the women I love most in my life will likely not be by my side for so many future milestones and it’s hard to wrap my mind around that.
I open the passenger door with this heaviness settling in.
“Hey, you okay?” Eric looks over as he starts the car.
“Yeah, just in my head a bit,” I say, waiting for the car to warm up. The Ohio cold is starting to hit hard as fall is settling in for the season.
“Is it about mom?” he asks while he turns into traffic.
“Yeah, but she seems good this weekend,” I say with a smile on my face.
“She does. I’m glad because she didn’t seem too good a few weeks back when I saw her on that video call,” he admits.
“Yeah, something about one of the medications she started wreaked havoc on her system.”
“That’s what she said. I almost flew home. You tell me if you need me. I mean it, Tucker. I’ll drop everything,” he says.
“I know you will. And I promise, man. You’d be my first call,” I assure him .
“How is work going? Things getting easier with Rios?” he asks.
“Yes and no. At work we get through our shifts. We tolerate each other at this point. But the rest of the guys are great. We have a probie that I’ve gotten to know and he’s a cool guy.
The rest of the crew is awesome, they’ve been welcoming.
” Since moving from Dover, things have been nonstop in Boston, so I haven’t really thought about my life at my old station.
I barely connect with the old guys from my previous station aside from texting.
It’s strange how quickly I acclimated to this newfound routine as if it was how I was living all along.
“That’s great. And how are things with Baylee? I know I was making fun of it being ‘little Baylee’ and all…but really, how are things going? Is it serious?” my brother pries.
“I mean, we haven’t talked about it like that, but I think it is.
The thing is, she’s ten years younger than me, so I don’t want to assume she’s where I am, but yeah, it feels serious for me.
She makes me feel grounded. Before her, all those dates I went on felt empty.
But with her, she feels real. She feels like someone I can bare my soul to and it matters,” I explain.
“Yeah, completely get that,” he tells me.
“I thought it would be weird because I’ve known her since she came home from the hospital.
Fuck, even saying that out loud is strange.
But it’s like that part of her life is separate from what we are now.
I don’t know how to explain it. But she’s this strong, beautiful, confident person, and I feel this immense pride that she’s choosing to be around me. ”
“Man, you should see your face right now.” He laughs.
“What?” I look at him.
“You’re a fool in love!” He smacks the steering wheel.
“You got that from me complimenting my girlfriend? How’d you figure?” I ask.
“Tucker, you are absolutely, head over heels, in love with that woman. ”
“Can we change the subject?” I say, looking out the window.
“See, you’re shy. You used to do the same thing as a kid. You’d hide whenever you got embarrassed. Well, you’d get embarrassed like that too when you were shitting in your diaper, but I doubt that’s what you’re doing right now.” He roars with laughter.
“I really hate your memory, Eric. Such an asshole,” I mumble.
“I love you too, Tucker.” He grabs my shoulder. “I love you so much.”
I smack his shoulder. “You know I could still edit my speech tomorrow, right?” I remind him.
“I know. I can’t wait to hear what you say.” I see the twinkle in his eye. “Don’t forget, payback’s a bitch!” The cackle he utters is evil.
Why are brothers such a pain in the ass?
We get back to the hotel and as we walk through the lobby, I spot Baylee sitting at the hotel bar. I’m about to walk over to her when I see she isn’t sitting alone. I notice my mom sitting with her. They’re deep in conversation, both smiling, and it warms my heart.
I stand back and watch as they enjoy each other’s company. My brother comes to my side after leaving his car with the valet when my soon-to-be sister-in-law comes up to us.
“I’m so glad you’re both here.” She seems out of breath.
“Brit, what do you think of my beard? Tucker almost made them shave it off,” Eric throws me under the bus.
“Dick,” I whisper to my brother.
“We’ll have words later, Tucky.” She smacks my arm.
“What is it with that nickname and everyone smacking me all the time?” I protest.
“Stop being a baby! I need you to help me,” she whisper-yells. “I’m down a few helpers and we need to move a few heavy items for the ceremony. Can you guys come help me please?” She puts her hands in a prayer position in front of her face. “Pretty please?”
“As long as you don’t call me Tucky again.” I point at her.
“Deal!” She smiles and claps.
“I have terms, too,” Eric protests.
“Oh, I know your terms.” She waggles her brows as she moves closer and kisses him.
“Ew, gross.” I scrunch my nose in disgust. “No one cares to hear about that. I have a sensitive stomach.”
“Oh, please. I doubt it.” He rolls his eyes.
I look over to see my two favorite women still talking to one another, and I decide to leave them be for now. I’ll catch up with them later. I follow my brother and Brittany to the spot where the ceremony will be tomorrow, hoping I can catch up with Baylee soon.
Alright, I would rather Brittany have called me Tucky for the rest of her life.
That was a lot of work, and my back will be killing me tomorrow.
I’m wiped. At least I wore comfortable clothes to do manual labor today.
I’m not regretting my cotton shirt underneath the jacket I had on.
The gray sweatpants worked out with the cool weather, although they ended up being pretty warm in the ballroom as we moved heavy furniture around until Brit was happy with the configuration.
Now, I’m walking back through the lobby, but I don’t see Baylee anywhere.
I’m about to give up and head back to the room when I spot my mom sitting at the bar, eating a snack and sipping on some water. I decide to sidle up next to her.
“Hey, Ma, how are you?” I lift a hand up to the bartender and ask for a water .
“Hey, son. I see you were pulled in to help set up.” She chuckles.
“What gave it away? The look of exhaustion or the sweaty shirt?” I roll my eyes.
“I assume you moved things around a few times?” She winks.
“Don’t ask. Brittany seems happy though, that’s all that matters.” I shrug.
She brings her hand to my cheek. “You’re a good brother, Tucker. I’m proud of you.”
I can’t help but lean into her touch and close my eyes.
Savoring these moments has become my new obsession.
As much as the doctor has given her years and not months, it doesn’t mean I don’t log all these memories into a special place in my heart, because I’m starting to understand how meaningful they are.
This woman gave me all her best moments and the older I get, the more I realize how important they are. I won’t take them for granted.
“I appreciate that Ma, thanks.” I kiss the inside of her palm. “I saw you earlier with Baylee,” I mention.
“Oh, yes. Mmhmm.” She takes a bite of some fries.
“Is she okay?” I ask, wondering if something happened.
“Of course. That’s part of our routine,” she says.
“Your routine?” I ask, confused.
“Hasn’t she told you?” Now she’s the one confused.
“Told me what?” I take a long drink of my water.
“I assumed she would’ve told you now that you’re together.
We meet weekly for tea at my house. She’s been coming over since I got diagnosed.
She didn’t have time to see me before this trip.
And she wanted to have some time with me before her family arrives for the wedding later today and things get hectic, so we sat together earlier.
” She smiles. “It’s our special time together. ”
“She’s been doing this for months?” I ask.
“Yeah. Sorry, I thought you knew by now,” she answers .