29. Baylee
Baylee
I lay on Tucker’s chest, running my finger through his chest hair, admiring the ink along his left pec. I don’t think it matters how many times I see his exposed torso, I’ll never be over how toned and beautiful he is.
“Your body is incredible,” I say just above a whisper. “I can’t get enough of you.” I bring my head up, rest my chin on his chest and look up at him, my smile soft and sated.
“Well, if that’s your way of asking for another round, please give me at least thirty minutes. I think my dick will fall off if we have sex again. I can’t keep up with your young ass.” He squeezes my ass under the sheet.
I laugh and lay my head back down. “I’d never pass up another round, but no, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, I’ll never get sick of touching you, or looking at you and knowing you’re mine.”
I love this time together when we just lay here; moments where the silence isn’t uncomfortable and we can just bask in what we’re building together.
Running his fingers up and down my bare spine, he breaks the silence, “Do you want to make it official, Bay?”
I can’t help the panic that washes over me like a bucket of cold water. My head snaps up and I wish I could’ve controlled my reaction more.
“Why? Do you not want to?” Masking my disappointment is futile. He can read the hurt all over my face.
He brings his palm to my cheek and lean into him and close my eyes.
“Baylee, the thought of truly being your husband completes every fiber of my soul, do you understand me?” With his words, my eyes snap open and look straight into his. I feel like everything in me is firing on all cylinders.
“But you have to understand, I’m at a different part of my life.
I’m a decade further into life than you—I’ve partied, I’m deep into my career, reaching my goals already.
You’re just at the starting line, and I don’t want you to think I’m going to hold you back, or try to rush you,” he tells me and I can see the turmoil on his face.
“Why do you think you’d hold me back? I want this with you,” I tell him.
“Even if you don’t see it right now, you might make little decisions on your path that will take you right versus left, up instead of down—because of me. I don’t want to do that to you. I want you to become a physical therapist if that’s what you want. I want you to do all the things you desire.”
He seems really conflicted right now, and I pull myself up, revealing my breasts as I kiss him, then straddle him. There’s nothing sexual in what I’m doing, but I never got dressed after we had sex last.
“Tucker, I understand we’re ten years apart and at very different stages in life. That’s never going to change. You know what’s also never going to change?” I wait for him to answer.
He shakes his head, his gaze on my face as he glides his hands to my hips.
I move my hands through his ginger hair and he closes his eyes.
I savor how much I love touching him beneath my fingertips.
Then I bring my face inches away from his.
“Tucker Malloy, I’ve loved you since the moment I understood the meaning of the word.
And I’ll love you as strongly on my last day on this Earth.
Nothing will change that. There’s nothing about loving you that would hold me back.
If anything, you’re helping me soar. So, yes, I want to make this official.
I want to reach further with you by my side. ”
He beams a brilliant smile at me and it’s hard not to smile back. Unexpectedly, he grabs my hips and flips me onto my back. “Baylee, you’re everything I never knew I needed.” He drops a kiss to my lips and it feels like home the moment I feel him against me.
He pulls away and whispers, “I love you more than I could’ve imagined, Firefly.”
“I love you,” I say back then capture his lips again. Everything I could’ve hoped for is finally coming true with this man I dreamed of—with this man I’ve loved for so long.
Boston has done us dirty right before Thanksgiving. Damn this cold front that’s come in; the windchill alone can be felt down to the bone.
As soon as I open the door to the sandwich shop, I’m instantly assaulted by the warmth and relieved to be inside rather than outside with the rest of the pedestrians.
I wore so many layers, and yet I swear it feels like I’m in a short-sleeve shirt.
If this is just November, what will mid-January feel like?
“Bay, over here,” my brother calls from the corner table he sits in. I look over and the smile he’s sporting looks too casual for someone that should feel like shit for the way he treated his ex-best friend.
He gets up to greet me with a bear hug. He wraps his arms around me, but I don’t return the gesture.
“It’s so great to see you,” he says, unfazed by my stiffness .
I take my seat, still defrosting from the cold outside, rubbing my hands together. I’m about to greet Danny half-heartedly when our server prances to the table.
“Hi. I’m Penzy. Is there anything I can get you to drink?” She smiles wide at me.
What a unique name. I look at her name tag to see if I misheard her. Nope. It’s actually Penzy. Interesting.
“What a unique name.” I smile up at her. “I’ll take a hot tea please.”
“You got it.” She smiles wide.
“I thought it was a different name too,” my brother says after she walks away. The moment he speaks, my smile drops. He notices the change in my mood and clears his throat.
“Thanks for accepting my invite to meet for lunch.” He rearranges his utensils. He finally looks uncomfortable. Good. He’s been an absolute ass and needs to figure his shit out.
“Well, I wouldn’t have come. Tucker convinced me to,” I say, looking at my nails like I have better places to be.
“Really? Why?” He sounds surprised.
Because he’s a better person than either of us, you asshole, I think to myself.
“Danny, why am I here? I have studying to get to and Thanksgiving food to prep,” I say with little emotion in my voice.
“Here.” He passes me a gift.
“What’s this?” I look at it, puzzled.
“A gift.” He chuckles.
“No shit.” I roll my eyes. “Why?”
“It’s your birthday tomorrow, Bay,” he reminds me, as if I don’t know.
“I know it is. Why are you giving me something?” I’m stunned, my brother usually doesn’t go out of his way to gift me anything.
He’s usually giving me something randomly when he sees me weeks after my birthday and it’s never the size of a jewelry box.
Last year he got me a sweatshirt two sizes too big for me and it wasn’t even the style I’d ever wear.
I’m convinced an ex-girlfriend left it behind.
“Well, I got you something special and I wanted to give it to you. Open it,” he insists.
I roll my eyes once again because it’s uncontrollable around siblings, and unwrap the ribbon. I pull off the lid and reveal a gold paperclip necklace with my initials dangling off it.
“I went to the store and she said it’s all the rage right now. You can switch out the charms, but I thought you’d like the initials—you know, B and R.” He looks so proud.
“Oh, so this isn’t just to solidify the fact that I’m Baylee Rios, then?” I snap. I might be reading too far into this, but something about this gift feels more like a territorial thing. I have a feeling it’s purposeful and I’m more pissed about it than anything.
“Would you rather have M for Malloy then? You’re not really married, Baylee,” he says and it stings.
“Well, we will be,” I say, placing the gift back in the box and push it back toward my brother. “And you have some nerve acting like my feelings don’t matter, Danny.”
“You can’t be serious about this marriage?” He laughs, but there’s no humor.
I look up at my brother, and right then he seems unrecognizable.
“Danny, for so long, I looked up to you. I thought you wanted what was best for me. I thought you cared for my well-being. But all you wanted was me away from Tucker. So much so, you were blind to all the bad in my life, as long as it kept me from your best friend. You didn’t even see how miserable I was.
You didn’t see the abuse I was enduring at the hands of a monster.
First with the emotional and verbal abuse, then I had to endure physical abuse.
Luckily, I got out of it. I’m one of the fortunate ones who can say they got out.
I’m now with someone that looks at me and sees beauty and possibility.
But when you see us together, you see anger and resentment. How is that possible?”
I see his anger right then. He isn’t even reflecting on his behavior. He’s selfish even in this moment. Where did he go wrong?
“He was my best friend. And you’re my favorite sister. How could you two do this?” he seethes.
“How could we do what? Love each other? See that’s what I don’t get.
All we’re doing is loving each other. And you could be a part of simply being embraced with more love.
But instead you’re choosing to fill your heart with hate.
That’s your choice, Danny. I’m not choosing that path.
Go ahead and be angry, but I’m not. I’m choosing to be loved by this beautiful man at my side.
And I’m choosing to be married to him too.
Because I’ve loved him for far longer than I haven’t. ” I stand up.
“It won’t last,” he says, staying seated.
“You’re wrong,” I say, looking down at my brother.
“But you know what? One day you’ll realize how wrong you’ve been.
This moment right here you could’ve made better choices.
Actually, there were many moments in the last year or so you could’ve reacted differently.
But you’ll one day regret those choices.
And I’ll be waiting for you to come back, because I’m your sister and I love you, no matter what.
But you’ll have a lot of groveling to do with many others.
I hope they have the heart to forgive you, Danny,” I tell him.
“And I hope it’s not too late; because time is precious. ”