4. Kennedy
CHAPTER 4
Kennedy
“I am honored to introduce, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Caldon!” the chaplain announces to a room full of their loved ones. Cheers fill the room while Samara and Ashton officially share their first kiss as husband and wife.
I fight the tears that are threatening to spill down my cheeks as I watch my closest friend marry her person. The moment their kiss breaks apart, I see their happiness in the smiles they save for one another.
I hand Samara her bouquet as she makes her way down the aisle. Her smile beams as she walks away, and my heart melts for my best friend, knowing she has waited for this day for some time between her and Ashton.
It’s my turn to walk down with my partner, and that’s when my eyes lock on River’s hazel irises.
He gives me his cocky smile, knowing it’s killing me to have to be near him right now. He’s been the bane of my existence since we crossed paths a years ago.
“Always a pleasure holding you close, Skipper,” he mocks as my arm interlocks with his.
What have I done in this lifetime to deserve this shit on the regular?
All these years, we’ve been thrust together with events between our closest friends. Add in the wedding festivities for Sam and Ash, and we’ve been around each other all the time. He’s found every single way to rub me wrong, yet it’s become such a norm for me. I don’t know what I’ll do once we don’t have all these wedding obligations to stick to.
Top that off with the fact that in all the time we’ve known one another, I feel like his looks have only improved. He’s gotten bulkier the longer he’s worked as a firefighter; his cut jawline leans more toward a GQ model than someone who is running into burning buildings. Much like tonight, with the tux he’s sporting now, he’s downright edible. Too bad the moment he opens his mouth, I’m reminded why I can’t stand him.
“Wave at your exciting date,” River says as his lips move closer into my personal space and whispers into my ear while we both smile as we walk along the aisle.
I will not dwell on the fact that feeling his lips this close to my skin is making me break out in goosebumps down my spine, and that feeling progresses down to my fucking core. Damn him and all he seems to be doing lately to my body. It’s playing tricks on me.
I will not be sexually attracted to River. I repeat, I will not let my sex life intermingle with River. I should say lack thereof because I haven’t had sex in way too long. That’s probably all this is; my body is reacting to his proximity because I just need to get laid.
At River’s little comment, I turn to the right to find Darius, the person who Samara’s mother thought I would connect with. I think they met at one of the games at the stadium, and he has season tickets. That might be the most exciting thing about him. And I wouldn’t call him my date. He’s someone Dorothy thought I’d find similarities with, but I think my morning piece of toast has a bigger personality than him.
“Shut up. At least he has a brain,” I jab, looking over to our left to find Karissa, River’s overindulgent date, taking selfies by the flowers at the end of the aisle, trying to angle the camera to pick up some of the views if I were to guess.
“She’s an influencer. She has to take photos for her job,” he explains, although his tone lacks conviction.
“Yes, and she’s dating you for your impeccable personality too,” I say, as I know this girl is completely in it for the gram.
No offense to River, but the fact he’s good-looking and a firefighter is a huge plus for women like Karissa. There’s an opportunity to take photos with people in his firehouse, and I have a feeling she’s all for the photo op and not the connection. I fight hard to keep from rolling my eyes, well aware photos and videos are being taken of us as we make our quick walk down the aisle.
Before we can walk through the double doors into the venue, we are stopped by a woman at the end of the aisle.
“Oh my gosh. You two are the most beautiful couple. Please tell me you’re together.” I assume from the silence she’s met with, River is giving her the same disgusted look as I’m giving her.
I feel like any answer that isn’t a positive one is going to burst this woman’s bubble. I try to formulate a response that will soften the blow, but before I get a chance to kindly respond, I’m interrupted.
“That’s so sweet of you. Too bad Kennedy doesn’t agree. She dumped me after one date.” He feigns sadness, looking at me like I tore his world up.
“The stalking charges you raked up afterward prove to trust my judgment,” I respond, a smile plastered on my face, feeling proud of myself for the quick hit back.
An uncomfortable laugh escapes said guest, and we continue to walk out. The moment the double doors close, where we’d once separated contact immediately during the rehearsal, I feel River hold on an extra second longer. I can’t help the confusion on my face. It isn’t until he hears his brother’s laugh behind us that he finally lets go of me, and I immediately mourn his warmth when we separate.
Clay is chuckling, and even with all their similarities, I do not see them as the same in many ways beyond their looks. Where River is the thorn in my side, Clay has a softer side to him.
As much as River is as irritating as a stone in my shoe, his brother is usually not too bad most of the time. He likes to have some fun, but for the most part, he is a little more mature than his twin.
Clay got married at a young age, and when he and Abby were together, I’d say he was all about the happily ever afters. That romantic side of his flourished with her. I hung out with her as she befriended Samara, and I tagged along when they had girl nights.
Unfortunately, about a year ago, they went their separate ways, and I’ve only recently seen pieces of the old Clay making their way back to the surface. To say his divorce devastated him is an understatement.
“You have something to say, Clay?” I move my hands to my hips, annoyance lacing my tone.
“What? What would I have to say?” I give him a bored expression, knowing something is coming.
“Oh, you mean the fact that you and my brother make a beautiful couple? I agree, despite the fact you probably sit at home with a voodoo doll poking his eyes out.”
“Come to think of it, my left eye has been twitching lately.” River ambles up to his brother, covering his eye in mock discomfort.
I roll my eyes and decide I shouldn’t waste my breath. The night is young.
“Awww, you think I’d waste my time making a voodoo doll of you, Riv. Fat chance. Also, between the two of you, you already know Clay is the worthy one.” I pat Clay’s cheek and wink, pulling a scowl out of River as I walk away, chuckling like a Disney villain.
It’s all fun and games between Clay and me. We love to ruffle River’s feathers, and I know it’s a point of contention when I favor Clay over him as the better brother. I love to play off that when and where I can.
I hear Clay’s laugh from behind me, followed by an “Oof, what the hell, River!” I smile, satisfied my job here is done as I approach the bride and groom.
“Congratulations, you two. I’m so happy for you both.” I embrace each of them.
Last night, when I pulled Sam into the restroom to confirm the reasoning behind drinking water, she told me all about the pregnancy test. She kept apologizing because she didn’t tell me sooner, but I think we all learned a lot with things that happened between Clay and Abby, Samara wanted to play it safe when it came to announcing her pregnancy with all of us.
Apparently, in all the wedding prep, she skipped a few birth control pills. She thought doubling up on them would do the trick, but not so much. She said Ashton is ecstatic, even though she was scared when she found out. The idea of jumping into parenthood is alarming yet exciting, all mixed together. With the chaos of the festivities, she’s still having to remind herself that she’s carrying a baby in there.
The moment she told me, my heart soared for her and Ashton. I cannot believe my best friend is going to be a mother. She’s already glowing, despite the fumes that seem to constantly come out of her ears when she’s pissed. Maybe the baby is taking all her calm. I guess time will tell.
I feel the tears well up as I pull away from Samara, my happiness overflowing as I take in my bestie and her husband.
“I can’t believe we’re married!” she squeals, grabbing onto Ashton’s arm and jumping up and down.
The moment Ashton proposed, she’s been knee-deep in wedding planning. She’s been meticulous about each wedding detail, even before that gorgeous ring was placed on her finger. I think her future was laid out with this man the moment he took her out on their first date years ago.
“This has been a dream of a wedding, Sammie.” I give her another hug, and soon, we’re rocking each other back and forth, laughing as the tears stream down our cheeks.
Our moment is interrupted when the photographer grabs the attention of everyone in the wedding party, telling us to follow her outside to take photos.
* * *
My feet are killing me as I’m dancing the night away, and the wedding has been an absolute blast. From the moment the reception started, it’s been one thing after another: toasting the bride and groom, cutting the cake, dinner, and now dancing. The night has been beautifully put together. Sammie’s attention to detail has shown in the way everything has come together flawlessly from the ceremony down to the reception.
This DJ has been choosing song after song that keeps me from sitting down, and I know this was exactly what the bride and groom wanted. They had attended a wedding shortly after graduating college where the guests couldn’t get their dinner until they answered questions correctly about the bride and groom. She said the hunger on top of the irritation was growing with each failed answer for their table. She gave up on answering after the DJ asked them what the bride’s first word was. She said the night dragged on from there, with the DJ making up all sorts of games throughout the evening. She vowed her wedding would be nothing like that. She wanted it to be a night to be remember, but in the best way possible. I think Sammie got that wish in the best way.
There’s not one wedding that’s complete without the classic song “YMCA” blasting from the speakers. I’m swinging my arms in the air, moving them to mimic the letters to the title of the song as I sing along. I look around me and see everyone laughing and taking in the fun surrounding them. It’s then I realize many of the wedding party are no longer close to me.
The moment the song ends, “Freak-A-Leek” comes on, and I immediately spot Clay’s eyes on me. The moment our eyes connect, he’s pointing at me, moving those hips of his. If the Nichols men can do one thing, it’s dance. Clay gets close to me and moves his hand around my waist. I move with him, my back against his chest, and once again get lost in the movements. I’ve always felt completely at ease around Clay, and we’ve danced together before. It’s always been entirely platonic.
I hear a chuckle from him and look back to see what’s got him laughing. I look in the direction of his gaze and realize he’s chuckling at his brother, who’s eyeing us as he dances with one of Sam’s cousins, Taylor. Before I know what’s happening, I see River say something to Taylor, gesturing toward Clay and me. Once River makes his way over, I feel like the temperature of the ballroom has increased tenfold. I’m not sure why, but the anticipation of River and I dancing causes my heart rate to spike.
Without asking, River juts his chin, and it seems to be all Clay needs to walk away from me. Clay quickly kisses my cheek and says, “Try not to bite his head off,” before he saunters off to find his next dance partner.
As River gets closer to me, his strong hands take hold of my hips and move me closer to him. Unlike my movements with Clay, with River it feels electric. We haven’t danced together in years, usually avoiding sharing the same air when possible. But tonight, something has switched, and each time his eyes have found mine, he makes me feel like my skin is on fire.
River points a smile my way, his eyes shining, and I see the sweat lining his forehead. He’s been dancing as much as I have. I saw him moving his body with every woman on the dance floor, although now that I think about it, he hasn’t danced with his date most of the night.
He’s charmed everyone he’s shared space with tonight. Each one is captivated by his beauty and his moves. I don’t blame them. He knows what he’s doing, and I can’t help the way my mind deviates to how those hips would hit all the right spots in bed.
Where the fuck did that come from?
“I like you like this,” River whispers in my ear, his lips grazing my skin, and I swear I feel my pussy aching in need.
I’m speechless for a second, trying to allow my brain to catch up with my body. Finally, words process and spill out. “Like what?”
“Quiet. Not inventing ways you could cut me up and feed me to the wolves.” He laughs, his movements light, and I can’t help but laugh with him.
“Yeah, well, you’re making me feel good right now, so I have no complaints,” I say and then wish I could immediately take it back.
He pulls his face away from me, probably in shock, then gives me that panty-melting smile where his dimples make my ovaries want to explode. I’ve apparently lost my mind.
He brings his lips near my shoulder, moving up my neck to the lobe of my ear. I am immediately turned on, and I feel the goosebumps lining my flesh.
“Oh, Skipper. You have no idea how good I could make you feel.” His words surprise me, and I lean into his heat.
We continue grinding our bodies together, and the longer we’re in this close proximity, the more turned on I’m becoming. The way our bodies sway in unison makes me feel like we’re made for one another. And the more River moves his body against me, the more I feel my mind drifting to what else his body could do if we were alone.
The song ends, and River’s face comes close to mine, and I’m paralyzed in place. Is he going to kiss me?
At the last second, he moves his face to my ear and says, “I think I need to grab some water.”
And just like that, it feels like a bucket of cold water was dumped on me. Good thing because I swear I was in a trance.
I simply nod, and he pulls away from me and walks toward the tables. I’m instantly longing for his touch when he steps away. Following him would be a bad idea, so I continue to dance, but something about it feels muted compared to how I was feeling prior to River’s movements.
I look around, hoping to find Mr. Exciting, a.k.a. Darius, but he’s nowhere to be seen right now. Tonight I found out Darius works in finance, which isn’t surprising with his colorful personality. He’s nice enough, but I think my personality would squash him, poor guy.
My eyes connect across the dance floor with River, who is surprisingly not dancing with anyone. I stand there, my gaze locked on his, and his eyebrows rise. Before I can react, he’s walking my way.
I decide I may as well grab some water myself. I start to walk off the dance floor, my gaze swinging around the ballroom, trying to find the bride and groom. They left the dance floor during that last song, where I was lost in a trance with River pressed up against me.
“Looking for someone, Skip?” River’s voice pulls me out of my pursuit.
“Yeah. I don’t see the newlyweds.” I turn my head in search of our friends who were just dancing near us.
“They’re headed out the door as we speak,” River says as he points his chin toward the door to the left.
Right then, I see both of them bolting out the double doors and laughing. Sneaky little shits.
“Where’s Karissa?” I ask next. “I haven’t seen you dancing together much tonight.”
“Oh, you didn’t see?” I give him a questioning look, and he continues, “She found something interesting in your friend Darius, and they took off together about twenty minutes ago.”
I gape at him, astonished we both got ditched. “You’re serious?”
He chuckles, no anger behind his expression. “Like a heart attack. I saw them walking off. Let’s just say he wasn’t giving her information on spreadsheets.” He waggles his eyebrows, and I’m surprised he’s not more bothered by this turn of events.
I make my way over to the table River has sat at, the water pitcher in his hands. I pull a chair out and sit next to him. The moment my ass hits the chair, it’s automatic that I feel the pain in my feet from standing all day.
“I’m sorry your date ditched you. I wasn’t really giving Darius any attention during the entire wedding. I thought he was going to put me to sleep when he started talking about the latest Excel update. I mean, who cares about that kind of stuff?” I huff. I nearly plopped my face on my dinner plate as Darius droned on about his work and his excitement to see the latest installment on Excel.
I looked over at Sam during the meal, and she kept suppressing a laugh, covering her mouth with her cloth napkin. I kept squinting at her, completely aware she knew his personality was probably as bland as the professor in Ferris Bueller’s Day Of f.
“Don’t apologize to me. I’ll be just fine,” he says. “I won’t be crying over that not working out. I promise. I just brought a date because I thought it was best.”
I’ve seen River date quite a few women throughout the years, but they never last longer than a few weeks. As much as Clay was starting his life as a husband early on compared to the rest of us, River was adamant about keeping his options open. I overheard him say he enjoyed his single life far too much and would let his brother take on the responsible sibling role.
“You haven’t lost your moves, Riv.” I wink at him and reach over to grab my glass of water. River must know what I am trying to get, and he moves at the exact same time. It causes his face to rest right at the crook of my neck, and I can’t help my body’s excitement at his proximity.
I take a breath and finally reach the glass. It takes everything in me not to turn my head and pull his lips to mine. He’s so close, and I’m apparently really needing a release.
Fuck, it’s been too long.
I sit back in my seat and take a big swig of water, closing my eyes and trying to calm down whatever my body is doing in response to River tonight. I’m the president of a fucking baseball team, and this right here—this attraction with a man I’ve detested for so long—is nearly causing me to lose my cool and mount him right here in the ballroom in front of everyone. I need to find some release when I get back to my room. I’m wound way too tight.
My job doesn’t give me much time to focus on me right now. Looking at my life at the moment, baseball would have been the last career path I would have envisioned for myself when I was a little girl. I was all about princesses and glitter and finding Prince Charming.
Too bad life has a way of slapping some things out of our grasp. The moment I lost my parents, that part of my life also dimmed. I said goodbye to the moments when I saw life as a fairy tale and had to find a new normal to adapt to. Luckily, I had it better than those who may not have people who love them to take them in.
I was sent to live with my grandparents, who also lived in New York City at the time. I was there with them until I graduated high school. However, in the summers, my dad’s brother, my uncle Thomas, along with his wife Gennie, took me in. They never could have children, and they spoiled me with each visit.
My uncle is the owner of the Boston Gaels, and the older I got, the more my visits became about business and how I could one day take over the company. My uncle still owns the team, but he recently appointed me as the new president.
I am the first female to take on such a position of power in the league, and that comes with more lows than highs at the moment. The media has not been kind with having a female in this position, so I’m going to do everything I can to prove that I am more than capable. It’s a bigger hill to climb than a man would have, the double standard not lost upon me in my newfound role. But I know what a huge responsibility this is for me, and I do not take it for granted.
I stand up, grab my purse and shoes under the table, and put the glass down after finishing off the rest of it. Now that I’ve taken a few moments to rest, I realize I need to get to bed. My body is wiped now that I’ve given it a chance to relax after today’s festivities.
“I appreciate the dance, Riv. I think I’m going to head to bed. It’s been a long day,” I say, turning around and making my way to the exit. I can feel him following behind me, so I turn my head to give him a confused look.
“I thought I’d walk you up,” River says as he reaches for the items in my hands and pulls them into his grasp. What is going on right now? This isn’t our usual interaction. Chivalry is dead when it comes to River and his actions toward me.
Of all our friends, I haven’t put much thought into us getting along. However, my mind has wandered to the fact that if there were one person who could handle my strong personality, it would be him.
It’s not something I’ve spent too much time thinking about because each interaction with us is always teetering the line of a nuclear bomb going off. But a part of my brain has always acknowledged that River would probably be the most compatible person for someone as uptight as me, even with our rocky introduction.
I stare as he moves ahead of me, my eyes on his back as I follow him toward the exit of the ballroom. My mind doesn’t know what to think right now. From the way we moved on that dance floor to the way he’s showing me this kind side of him, I’m unsure how to navigate anything past hate for one another. This is unknown territory for me and my brain when it comes to River Nichols.
As each year has passed since my parents died, I’ve allowed a thick wall to build around my heart. At first, it was a coping mechanism. But the older I get and watch my friends marry off and live lives with love and companionship, I see that I’ve really grown accustomed to an independent life.
It may have started as a way to keep me from breaking down when I was a child, but now it’s all I know. I don’t let people in. Much like River, I date, but I pretty much start everything knowing there’s an end date attached to it. Plus, I barely have time to wash my hair, let alone commit to another person and give them my time.
Losing my parents and a sibling I never got to meet taught me how to maneuver through life with a huge berth around me. That space has given me the room I’ve needed to feel the control I’ve always longed for since that horrible day when I was young. I’ve felt like if I hold on to people around me with a weaker grip, maybe life wouldn’t find a way to break my heart. So I keep people at a distance, and so far, it’s served me well.
We’re about to go through the double doors when someone is calling River’s attention. She catches up, her smile nearly splitting her face it’s so big. I recognize her as one of the many women he danced with tonight.
“Hey, River, hold up.” The girl is out of breath once she reaches us. She’s holding something out. I don’t see what it is until I peer over and position my nosy self a little closer and realize it’s her room key. I feel my eyes bulge, partly in awe this girl has balls and the other at the audacity. What if River and I were leaving together?
I have to internally roll my eyes at myself because what the hell is going on with this train of thought creeping in? I never think anything of River and his extracurriculars, and tonight, I have thought about how he could relieve the ache between my legs.
River’s discomfort is evident on his face as he looks at the white and blue key card she shoved in his hand. If I didn’t know him so well, I would miss it, but I can see he’s embarrassed he has me as an audience right now.
He masks it well when he pockets the card and winks at the girl. I doubt it’s the first time this has happened to him, but I still can’t help the dumbfounded look that must be showing on my face.
He gives a slight cough and says to the woman, “Thanks, Cheryl. It was great meeting you.” Her cheeks pink, and now I feel like I’m interrupting a moment here.
She smiles wider at him and then registers I’m still standing there. She gives a little wave and then runs off, her friends waiting at the table, clapping at her bold move.
My eyebrows arch when I look over at River, and he shrugs as if this is a normal interaction for him. I bet he’s had many key cards thrust into his hands throughout the years, but for some reason, tonight, this feels weird between us.
We quietly make our way to the elevator, the awkwardness of that encounter latching onto me like water in the rain. I don’t know why it bothers me that that woman thought it was completely fine to approach him while he was walking out with me. And I can’t understand why I care either. The emotions of this wedding must be catching up to me. That’s the only explanation.
My mind is tired, and the irritation is festering. The moment we get into the elevator, I blurt, “So, you going to drop me off and go to her room?” The second the words are out of my mouth, I regret them.
I can see the shock turn to amusement in his gaze. I can tell he’s ready to pounce at a chance to rile me up.
“Why? You jealous, Skipper?” I hate that he uses that nickname with me like I’m some ditz he can forget about at the drop of a hat. My irritation is bubbling at this point, and I have no right to feel this way.
“No. Just wondering if that’s how easy it is to get you into bed.” What is wrong with me? Am I giving this guy ammunition to fuck around with me?
“Awww, you taking notes?” Now the River I’m used to is back. Prick.
“You wish. Like most men, I doubt you can find her G-spot, so I think the only one who should take notes here is you.”
He looks at me, and I think he’s speechless for the first time since I met him. Finally, I got him good enough that he can’t think of a comeback.
“Are you saying no man has made you come before?” I can’t quite tell if he’s about to make some asshole remark or if he’s genuinely curious. I decide answering him is pointless and a waste of my breath.
I yank the items he was carrying for me out of his hands. When the doors open onto my floor, I rush toward my room, moving slower than I’d care to. The blisters the silver shoes left on my feet are aching as I walk down the hallway. River is trailing me because I can hear his footsteps behind me. Luckily, he’s keeping his distance, and it’s probably best. I’ve lost control of this interaction with him, and I just need to be left alone.
“Kennedy, wait,” he pleads, but I keep walking, hoping the more distance I put between us, the more this feeling that’s been creeping up all night will dissipate.
The moment I get to my door, I don’t see River standing by my side, waiting for me to go inside. I see him pulling his own key card out and swiping it at the door to my left.
“Are you serious? You share a wall with me?” He’s like a leach. I can’t shake this guy.
“Looks like I do, Skipper.” He follows that with a wink. Right then, I know he’s back to the River I usually want to avoid.
“Don’t worry, I won’t be too loud.” He gives me that panty-melting smile and strolls into his room, laughter continuing to fall out of his mouth while I grunt, exasperated by the way my night has ended.
I open my door and let it close behind me, frustration lacing each step further inside. I roll my eyes and look to my left. Knowing River is next door is making my blood boil. At least I have a few hours before I have to see him again at breakfast with Sam and Ash.