Chapter 12
TWELVE
Rylan
I storm into the dining hall, my steps heavy and angry, each one echoing off the cold stone floor as people scramble to get out of my way.
Good.
Everyone can just Fuck. Off.
It seems like all I’ve been doing for the last week, stomping around the castle in an even worse temper than usual.
My mind is still reeling from the standoff I just had in the council room with my father, who always knows how to press every one of my buttons. In the same breath, he’d ordered me on another asinine trip and then berated me for not doing my duty by training Eirabella to his expectations. Forget that we’ve only had five training sessions. And that I hardly need him to remind me that she’s shown no evidence of this magic that I’ve sworn is supposed to protect the entire kingdom.
I know. Gods, do I know .
She knows, everyone knows. But something about the words spilling from my father’s lips and the sneer that perpetually accompanies it has the anger coiling tightly in my chest, ready to snap at the slightest provocation. Yet it’s nothing compared to the frustration churning in my stomach from the conversation with Eira.
That woman… gods! It’s like she was put on this godsforsaken continent to fuck with my head.
“If that’s a promise, you’ve already broken it.”
That’s what she wants to say when I tell her I won’t hurt her? Really?
If only she knew how many times I’ve wanted to wrap my hands around her sweet neck and strangle her and haven’t.
Admittedly, that might not instil the sense of trust that’s currently lacking.
And even more so, the times I’ve wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and pull her in against me and…
Stop, Rylan.
Telling her that probably wouldn’t help either.
The hall is buzzing with the usual evening activity—servants bustling about, nobles chatting in hushed tones—but it all fades into the background as I focus on heading to my seat. I need a moment to breathe, to collect myself before I have to face anyone else.
When I finally sit down in the first chair to the right of the head of the long, polished table, I’m relieved to find that my father isn’t here yet. At least I can avoid his infuriating presence for a little longer. But my mother is already seated at the end of the table next to the king’s empty place setting, sipping her tea in her calm, gentle way. As always, she’s presiding over the banquet room with her warm and kind, encompassing presence. With a soft smile, she glances up as I approach.
“Good evening, my darling,” she says, her voice soothing. “ You seem troubled. Did your father say something to upset you?”
I force a smile, not wanting to burden her with the details of the latest argument. She’s been through enough without me adding to her worries. “Just the usual,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light. “You know how he is.”
Her smile falters slightly, and she reaches out to lightly touch my hand. “Yes. He can be… difficult with you. But you mustn’t let him get to you. He’ll be better once your sisters are home. You know how he worries about all his children. Including you.”
Do I? That fact somehow must’ve slipped my mind. But I nod, giving her a small smile, grateful for her concern but knowing there’s little she can do to change the situation. “I’ll be fine, Mother,” I assure her, though the words feel hollow. “But enough about him, how are you feeling today? Is there anything I can do for you?”
Her smile returns, if a little weak. “I’m feeling much better, thanks to the remedies you brought back for me.”
I look at her, taking in the slight pallor of her skin, the way her hands tremble ever so slightly as she sets down her teacup. She’s putting on a brave face, as always, but I can see through it. She’s not well, no matter how much she tries to hide it.
“I’ll speak to the healer again,” I say softly, my voice laced with determination. “There has to be something more we can do.”
She nods, though I can tell she no longer has faith in the healer’s abilities. “You’ve always cared too much for me, Rylan. Promise me you won’t let this distract you from your duties. You have enough to worry about. I will be just fine.”
Her words only remind me of the conflict I’m facing—how in the realms am I supposed to balance my duties as Crown Prince, Celestaris, as well as train Eirabella on top of it all? It’s an impossible task, and yet my father expects me to do it all without question, without complaint. The thought sends another surge of frustration through me, and I clench my fists under the table, trying to keep my emotions in check.
Just as I’m about to respond, the doors to the dining hall swing open, and Caelum strides in, as usual, an easygoing air on full display. I wonder if he has ever had a single care in his whole damn privileged life. He spots us immediately, a grin spreading across his face as he makes his way over to the table.
“Good evening. My queen. My prince,” he greets us each in turn with a ridiculously dramatic bow, his tone light and teasing. “Why, aren’t you both a sight for my admittedly gloriously beautiful eyes?”
My mother laughs softly, clearly charmed by his presence. “Caelum, you always know how to lighten the mood. Come, tell me of what trouble you have caused today.”
Caelum leans down to kiss her cheek before taking the seat across from me. “My pleasure, Aunt, but I dare say, Uncle will have me flayed because my stories are utterly scandalous,” he says with a wink. Then, turning his attention to me, he raises an eyebrow. “You look even more miserable than usual, cousin. Rough training day? Should I cheer you up by telling you about a particularly lovely woman I met today in the combat room?”
I just snarl at him, my whole body tensing, remembering the way he’d practically been dry-humping my disciple on the mat when I’d walked in on them. Worse. She had been laughing with him, as if she was enjoying his company. All while she had meant to be training with me. In all the years my cousin and I have spent training together, sparring, fencing, downright bare-knuckling brawling, I’ve never wanted to thrust my sword right through his fucking chest more than in that moment.
Caelum chuckles, knowing exactly what I’m thinking. We grew up together; he knows my expressions as well as anyone. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to relax every once in a while. Maybe go easy on the whole ‘brooding prince’ routine. Might go down better with the ladies… or, you know, disciples.” Then his eyebrow cocks. “And, of course, tree stumps.”
The gods couldn’t hold back the rumble that emanates from my chest. “What are you talking about?”
“The tree stump comment? Oh, I forgot, that is just a secret joke between Eirabella and me,” he says with a smirk.
I’m not sure what bothers me more, her name coming out of his mouth, or that he has a shared secret joke with her. Either way, I’m about two seconds from throwing my knife at his throat when a group of my mother’s ladies-in-waiting enter the room, their chatter filling the air as they take their seats across the table at my mother’s side. Among them is Julietta, her eyes immediately locking onto mine as she sits down. She offers a coy smile, clearly expecting me to engage with her, but I’m in no mood for her games.
Instead, I turn my attention back to my mother, who is watching the various interactions around her with a knowing look in her eyes. “Rylan,” she says softly, “how is your new charge today? Eirabella, isn’t it? What a lovely name for a lovely woman. How is she faring?”
The question catches me off guard, and I stiffen slightly. “She’s… managing,” I say carefully, not wanting to admit how poorly our training sessions have gone. “It’s only been a few days. She still has a long way to go.”
“She’s from a quaint little peasant village, isn’t she?” Julietta’s voice cuts through the conversation, her tone dripping with disdain. “What a change all this must be for her. I imagine it must be quite difficult for her, fitting in here considering her… background.”
I throw Julietta an irritated glance, my patience with her already wearing thin. “Eirabella is the most capable person I have ever met. I would not have brought her here if she weren’t,” I say sharply. “So, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself, Lady Julietta.”
Julietta’s eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting such a strong rebuke. But before she can respond, Caelum chimes in, his tone light but with a hint of curiosity. “Well, I have found her to be nothing but delightful. Where is she, by the way? I haven’t seen her at dinner all week. We would all love to get to know her better.”
I shrug, trying to appear indifferent. “Not my business,” I say. “I am not concerned with what she does with her time when she’s not training,” I lie. I lie through my godsdamned teeth. I’ve done almost nothing but think about what she’s doing when she’s not on the training grounds with me.
My mother, however, is not so easily swayed. “Oh, but it is your business, Rylan,” she points out gently. “She is your disciple, after all. Whether you want her to be or not. You must make her feel welcome here and ensure she is well cared for. I imagine her training, let alone trying to settle in here, is very difficult.”
Her gentle admonishment has shame washing over me as flashbacks of our harsh exchanges haunt me. Her frustration, her anger… and the way she’d stood up to me, refusing to back down even when I was at my most unforgiving. I can’t help but respect her for that, even if it infuriates me.
Once the king and queen leave the dining table, I find myself walking to the disciples’ quarters, a tray of food balanced in my hands. I don’t know why I’m doing this—perhaps it’s guilt, perhaps it’s something else. Either way, I find myself standing outside her door, hesitating for a moment before knocking.
Brienne, her ladies’ maid, appears from around the corner, her eyes widening slightly when she sees me. “Oh, Prince Rylan,” she says with a curtsy. “I can take that tray to Eirabella if you like, Your Highness.”
I shake my head, not in the mood for formalities but wanting to remain polite to the castle’s staff. “Er, no. I can do it. But, thank you, Brienne, for helping Eirabella get settled here at the castle. Mistress Verisya told me that she thought you would be the right person for the job, and I think she was right.”
Brienne smiles warmly. “It’s my pleasure, Your Highness. Even though she might be finding palace life a little difficult, she has been nothing but kind to me.”
I nod, tucking away what she’s shared. “Thank you, Brienne. That will be all,” I gently dismiss her.
She curtsies again and steps away, not turning her back to me until she rounds the corner, leaving me alone in the hallway. My knuckles hover by Eirabella’s door for a moment before I rap them against the polished wood, not sure what I’m going to say. There’s no answer. I wait a moment, then knock again, but still nothing. Finally, I place the tray on the ground and turn to leave, half relieved not to have to face her, half disappointed not to get to see her.
I’m a few steps down the hallway when the door creaks open behind me.
I debate continuing to walk away, but my feet make the decision for me. Turning, I see Eirabella standing in the doorway, looking utterly exhausted, still dressed in her training outfit. Dark circles ring her eyes, her braid in disarray, black and blue strands scattered in all directions, and there’s a weariness in her posture that wasn’t there before. But she’s still standing, still holding her head high, and I can’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness flare up inside me. Seeing her like this makes me want to pull her into my arms, to ease the burden she’s carrying. To repeat the mantra that she’s safe here. But I know better. It’s better that I keep my distance, that I let her handle this on her own. Getting too close to me would only complicate things for her. For the both of us. The past has proven that… time and time again.
“Food,” I say simply, nodding toward the tray.
Oh, how delightfully clever, Rylan. Food. Whatever else would it be? How does she unnerve me like no other person ever has?
She gives me a look, half-irritated, half-amused. “What, no impossible commands? Not going to tell me that I need to make all the silverware dance and perform a little pantomime before I can eat it? Don’t test me, I’m just that hungry that I could do it.” She eyes me. “I’m so hungry I could eat you.”
I can’t help the small smirk that tugs at my lips, trying to ignore the suggestive nature of the comment. Still as fiery as ever. Fuck, it makes me want her. “I’d be a willing spectator if you think you can do it.”
She rolls her eyes, knowing I’ve called her bluff, but there’s a faint smile on her lips. “Thank you, Ry—er, Your Highness,” she says, her tone begrudgingly sincere.
I shake my head. “No. It’s Rylan. I told you in the woods, you can call me Rylan.” And suddenly I wish we were out in the woods again, away from all… of this.
I take a step away, needing to put some distance between us, but then remember what she’d said about me keeping secrets, the betrayal in her voice, and guilt makes me stop. “I will be gone from the Aetherhold for a few days. I have to take a trip. You’ll be training with Master Gavrik and his disciple Doran while I’m gone. He… he’ll take good care of you. Your combat training with Chasina will continue as usual. If you need anything, just tell Brienne. And your presence is requested at dinner when the king and queen are in residence.” She doesn’t say anything, just stares at me with those piercing te al eyes, and it takes every ounce of power I have inside me to tear my eyes away from them. I move them to her lips instead. Big mistake. “Good night, Eirabella. Get some rest; you’ll need it,” I say and practically launch myself down the hallway, away from her. I’m almost halfway to the door at the end of the corridor when she finally speaks.
“Have a good trip,” she says softly. “Rylan.”
I pause, letting the softness of her words wash over me, but when I turn back, she’s already closing the door. I stand there for a moment, my own words caught in my throat. Then I mutter them to the closed door, “It won’t compare to the last one. I fear nothing ever will.”
With everything that’s happened, a few days away is exactly what I need to clear my head and refocus. But as I stalk away, I can’t shake the feeling that leaving her behind might be a mistake.