Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Eirabella
Dear Janus,
I’m on my second week here at Aetherhold, and haven’t heard a word from you yet.
Please get word to me, even if it’s just a short note scribbled in your terrible penmanship.
Things are… hard here. While I have met some lovely people, and some I would like to dump bowls of custard over, I go to sleep every night thinking of everyone in Larilea.
I miss you all. I miss the sound of you and Kahlia laughing next door, I miss dinners sitting in your living room, bowls of hot soup in our laps as we play charades, I miss talking to you about all the things that are happening here. I miss you knowing that you would tell me that I can do this.
I still have your jacket, I’m keeping it safe. I know how much it means to you.
I have to go now, I have so much to tell you. I hope I’ll get a chance to soon.
Kisses and hugs to Kahlia,
E
“I think I saw something,” Master Gavrik mutters. He and I are staring at the bowl of water like it holds the secrets to the universe. He leans in closer, squinting as if that’s going to help. “Did you see that little ripple?”
No, that was just from your heavy mouth breathing, I think, but I don’t say it out loud. Instead, I force a hopeful look onto my face, pretending like I might actually believe him. The water sits there, completely undisturbed, mocking me.
It’s the third day of this torture with Master Gavrik, and I’m no closer to mastering my so-called Strength than I was when I first set foot on these grounds. I watch Doran out of the corner of my eye. He’s moving through his exercises with an expertise that would make anyone envious. Well, anyone but Selene. But what Doran lacks in brute strength compared to our fellow competitor, he makes up for in heart. It’s funny how after just three days of training with him and watching Selene, I can sense their personalities in the manifestations of their magic, like a signature. It makes me ache to get to discover what mine would look like, feel like.
And I can’t help but think about Rylan, about how different things were training with him. He always made me feel like I was on the verge of something great, even when I wasn’t. He never had any doubt that the ridiculous tasks he assigned me were actually able to be performed. I had hoped that by the time he returned, I would have mastered my power. I wanted to surprise him, to prove that I didn’t need him to succeed. Instead, all I have to show for my efforts is this stupid, unmoving bowl of water.
Master Gavrik finally steps back, sighing in that exasperated way he does when he thinks I’m not trying hard enough. “Focus, Eirabella. You’re letting your mind wander.”
If only he knew where my mind was wandering. Back to Rylan, of course. What is he doing right now? When’s he coming back? Why do I keep thinking about him? It’s infuriating. I’m supposed to be focusing on getting out of this castle, not on some stupid, grumpy prince who’s too busy with his royal duties to even be here.
I grit my teeth, trying once again to make a ripple, a splash, anything. The water stays placid. Dead. I punch my hand into the bowl, and water splashes onto my face. I must’ve punched harder than I’d thought because I feel cold water on the back of my neck as well. That is, until I hear a cackle. I jerk around to see Selene hovering near me, a smarmy smirk on her face, a finger twirling in the air, controlling the little raincloud she’s conjured directly over my head.
“Bitch!” I murmur under my breath, glaring at her. She cackles, clearly enjoying my misery, until I give her my most withering stare. With a flick of her hand, the cloud disappears with a puff, and the ground under me instantly dries. But me? Me she leaves dripping, soaking wet.
“You looked like you needed a shower,” she says with a smirk before flying off.
I turn back to the bowl, but my concentration is shot. I’m about to toss the whole thing across the training ground when Doran walks over.
“Hey, let’s take a break,” he suggests, his voice calm and sweet.
I slump down onto a bench, running a hand through my wet hair. “I don’t get it. Why is this so hard? You’re so good already, and still getting better and better every day, and I can’t even make a stupid ripple.”
Doran gives me a sympathetic smile. “It’ll come, Eira. I had trouble when I first started, too.”
I give him a sceptical look. “What happened? How did you get past it?”
He shrugs, leaning back against the wall. “It just… happens. One day, it all clicks. But it’s not easy. When I came here as a junior disciple, I’d been using my magic for years. And yet, for a whole month, Master Gavrik still made me take a long soak in the tub, to ‘commune’ with the water.”
“I’m not doing that.” I sigh. “But I do need my magic to come back soon,” I mutter. “Before I drown in a Selene storm.”
Doran chuckles softly. “Maybe you just need a change of scenery. It’s easy to feel trapped here, especially when you’re struggling.”
He’s not wrong. The castle walls feel like they’re closing in on me more each day. “I think I just feel suffocated by this place,” I admit.
Doran nods, understanding in his eyes. “Maybe you should go for a walk into town. Master Gavrik usually arranges for one of the guards to accompany me when I start to get a bit claustrophobic and need to get out.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Because we’re prisoners?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “No, because it’s not safe for us out there. People know our powers are stronger than most of the realm’s. It’s safer for us to have a guard.”
His comment makes me pause. Safe. That word again. Rylan had used it constantly, always talking about taking me somewhere safe. But this doesn’t feel safe—it feels like a gilded cage. Maybe getting beyond the castle walls could be the key to my escape. If I can just get out, I might be able to slip away. I don’t need to be a master of my Strength to do that.
Over the next few days, I try to find a way to leave the castle unnoticed, but it quickly becomes clear that’s impossible. There are too many eyes, too many guards. The only option is to go out with permission. Keeping that in mind, I map out several versions of my escape in my head if I can ever find a way out of the castle.
I’m so lost in those thoughts that I almost miss Princess Alina when she approaches me as I enter the dining hall almost a week after Rylan left. She’s all smiles, her demeanour bright and cheerful, but I’m caught off guard when she grabs my arm.
“Hi, Eirabella, right?” she says, her tone as sweet as honey. “Come sit with me! There’s a free seat since Rylan isn’t back yet.”
My feet trip over themselves at the sound of his name. The mere mention of him shouldn’t affect me this much, but it does. Not as though I haven’t been thinking of him even when no one mentions him. Alina giggles at my little stumble, completely unaware of the turmoil she’s stirred up in me. “These dresses and shoes they make us wear are ridiculous, aren’t they?”
The king and queen haven’t arrived yet, so Alina starts chatting away, asking me a million questions about my background, my training, and how I’m adjusting to castle life. I keep my answers vague, not wanting to give away too much. Every question feels like a potential trap, and I’m careful not to fall into one.
Caelum appears next, taking the seat across from us with a grin. “Found yourself a new puppy to play with, Alina?” he teases.
I bristle at the suggestion that I’m just a pet to the princess, but I tamp it down. From my few interactions with Caelum, I haven’t been able to get a good read on him. He’s been friendly and even flirty. But I feel like there’s more behind those crystal blue eyes. Friend or foe. I guess time will tell. Or it would’ve, if I had been planning on sticking around.
Alina, however, doesn’t let it go. “Oh, shush, Caelum. I just wanted Eirabella to feel welcome.”
Just then, another woman arrives, taking the seat directly across from me. She’s practically the spitting image of King Halford, but I see Rylan in the way her mouth is set in a straight line. Must be Princess Elara, the second in line to the throne after her brother. Her eyes flick over me, a slight purse of her lips. “Well, it seems some people have made themselves right at home.”
Alina waves her off. “ I told Eirabella to sit there. It’s not like Rylan’s here anyway. Who knows where he’s parked his bottom right now?”
Caelum snorts and leans in with a smirk. “Probably keeping some poor freezing duke’s daughter’s bed warm. You know how generous he is with his fire Strength.” I feel my stomach twist. A pang of jealousy hits me out of nowhere, sharp and unwelcome. I tell myself it’s ridiculous—whatever, or, whoever, Rylan is doing is none of my business—but the feeling still lingers.
The hall’s doors open, and Lady Julietta’s entrance draws all eyes. She’s as breathtaking as ever, gliding over to Caelum’s side with effortless grace. Her eyes flick to me, and her smile turns sharp. “Nice of you to finally join us, Eirabella,” she says, her tone dripping with false sweetness. “Though, it’s a shame you didn’t have time to freshen up after training. I’m sure Their Majesties would’ve waited.”
I stiffen, the implied insult crystal clear. But before I can retort, Alina jumps in. “Well, I think you look lovely, Eirabella. I’d like to see what you look like after an hour in the combat room with Chasina, Julietta.”
Julietta’s smile falters for a split second, but she recovers quickly, her gaze sliding away from me. I let out a quiet breath. I need to stop letting her get to me. And Alina’s quick defence of me with everyone surprises me, but I’m grateful for it. I’m not sure the dinner would be bearable without her.
The doors at the far end of the hall swing open, and everyone rises as the king and queen make their entrance. The king moves with ease, the queen clutching his arm as they approach the table, her steps slow and deliberate, smiling at everyone.
As they reach the head of the table, he pulls out her chair, guiding her gently into the seat. Once she’s settled, he doesn’t immediately take his own place. Instead, he pours her a cup of tea, setting it carefully before her, and places a hand lightly on her shoulder as she settles. Only when she smiles up at him and he’s sure she’s comfortable does he sit down beside her.
I watch the exchange with a mix of surprise and curiosity. They’re small gestures, but the care in his actions is undeniable. It makes me wonder if I’ve misjudged him, if there’s more to this king than I originally thought.
Dinner begins, and I keep my head down, focusing on the delicious food. I’m still not quite used to having a full three meals a day, of dishes Janus and I could only have dreamt of as we’d fill our bellies with the third day of just clear broth. I can feel a mixture of curious and glaring eyes on me, but I do my best to ignore them. To my surprise, though, during the main course, the king directs his attention toward me.
“Eirabella,” he says, his voice warm and friendly. “How are you finding your training?”
I glance up, meeting his gaze. There’s no malice there, only curiosity. I force myself to relax, though I remain on guard. “ Honestly, it’s been challenging, Your Majesty,” I reply carefully. “But I’m doing my best.”
After a few moments, he leans forward slightly, his voice softer. “I was intrigued to hear about your magic being stripped from you when you were young. That must have been difficult.”
I swallow hard, caught off guard by the comment. “Yes, Your Majesty. It was during a fever that swept through our village one winter almost fifteen seasons ago. Almost everyone caught it, and many didn’t survive, my parents included.” I swallow, letting the surge of grief pass before I continue. “I was delirious for a week, and when I woke up, the healer told me that my magic had been drained, but that it might come back.”
“But it never did,” he finishes, his tone understanding.
I nod, offering a small, rueful smile. “No, it didn’t. But I did end up with these.” I tug lightly on a blue streak of hair, trying to make a joke of it. “Not much of a consolation prize, but I guess it’s something.”
The king chuckles, and I find myself smiling back, more comfortable than I’d expected to be. “Perhaps,” he says, “it was your body’s way of preserving some part of your power?”
“Perhaps,” I say, though the words feel hollow.
“So much rests on our Keepers,” the king says, his voice taking on a more serious tone. “We need Keepers who are strong, who can defend the realm. Who are inherently connected to our kingdom, to our people. Who live and die to protect all who live in Celador.”
This is it. This is my opportunity. I adopt a thoughtful expression and say, “I am worried about how I’m feeling disconnected from the kingdom right now. And the people. Just training from sun up to sun down between these castle walls may be what is stifling my magic.” I sigh for added effect.
“Maybe that’s the problem,” he says, his tone thoughtful. “Perhaps you should take some time to reconnect. A walk beyond the castle walls might do you good.”
I blink, trying to hide the sudden surge of hope. “That’s kind of you to suggest, Your Majesty, but there really isn’t time.”
“Nonsense,” the king replies, waving away my concern. “I insist. I’ll mention it to Master Gavrik, and I’ll have Captain Corvane take you into town tomorrow afternoon.”
I can hardly believe my luck. The king’s offer is more than I could have hoped for, and I do my best to mask my excitement. “If you insist, thank you, Your Majesty,” I say humbly, nodding my head in supplication.
“For the good of the kingdom, Eirabella,” he says. “We all have a part to play. Especially with the growing threat of rebels.”
I blink, surprised. Rebels? This is the first I’ve heard of any unrest. “I hadn’t realised there was currently dissent in the kingdom,” I say cautiously.
The king’s expression darkens slightly, and he nods. “There always is. It’s not common knowledge, and we’ve kept it that way for a reason. But they are out there, and they’re growing stronger. That’s why your training is so important.”
His words send a chill down my spine. I’ve been so focused on my own struggles that I hadn’t considered what might be happening beyond the castle walls. If there really are rebels, then the role of Keeper is much more critical than I ever imagined. And with my magic nowhere to be found, I’m definitely not the person for the job.
When the queen excuses herself early, the king immediately rises to assist her. Offering her his arm, they walk slowly out of the hall together. We all rise and watch as they go, the queen’s face turned up in a weak smile toward her husband. Once we retake our seats, I turn back to the conversation at the table, just as Caelum is teasing Elara, his voice light and playful. “Come on, Elara, admit it—you were staring at Sir Henley during the entire banquet last night,” Caelum says with a smirk, clearly enjoying the way Elara’s cheeks flush a deep pink.
Elara huffs, obviously trying to maintain her composed demeanour. “I was not staring! I was simply… observing. It’s important to know who’s protecting the realm,” she retorts.
“Observing, sure,” Caelum drawls, leaning back in his chair with casual ease, and gives me a conspiratorial wink. “If that’s what you want to call it. Poor man didn’t know what to do with himself under all that… observation. Must’ve been sweating under all that armour, wondering if the king was going to order him beheaded or not.”
Elara gives him a withering look. “You’re impossible, Caelum.”
He grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Maybe, but it’s true, isn’t it? You’ve got a soft spot for the knight in shining armour.”
Before Elara can respond, Caelum’s expression shifts to one of mock seriousness as he sighs deeply and leans back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head. “What an enjoyable evening, having my dear female cousins home finally. We really do have to make the most of our time without that broody sourpuss around,” he says, changing the subject with a mischievous glint in his eye.
Alina gasps, her eyes wide with mock horror. “Caelum! Rylan is the Crown Prince!”
Caelum’s grin widens. “Alina! I didn’t say who it was, but I find it interesting you all knew exactly who I meant.”
That draws a round of laughter from everyone at the table. Alina swats at him from across the table playfully, while Elara shakes her head, smiling despite herself. Even I find myself trying to bite back a grin. Apparently, Rylan’s moods are well known amongst his own family as well.
Then Caelum turns to me, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Maybe that’s why he’s such a boor. Don’t you think, Eirabella?”
I blink, caught off guard. What am I supposed to say? I have to be careful; it’s one thing for the king’s nephew to insult the Crown Prince, another for his own disciple to say those same things. A part of me also wants to defend Rylan, to point out that he’s more than just the stern, serious prince they all seem to think he is. But then I remember how utterly frustrating he can be, how he kept everything so close to his chest during our time together.
A smile tugs at my lips as I decide to play along. “Well,” I begin, choosing my words carefully, “he did once insist on stopping to lecture me about the importance of safety... while we were literally in the middle of an actual bandit attack. It was… not exactly the best timing.”
The others burst out laughing, even Elara, who tries to cover her mouth to hide her amusement.
“Sounds like Rylan,” Caelum says, shaking his head. “It is never not a good time for a good scolding. I haven’t even heard of a bandit attack in years. I wouldn’t be surprised if those bandits were actually ordered by angry noblemen who he’s angered over the years.”
I laugh along with them, but there’s a twinge of something that feels a lot like guilt twisting in my gut. It feels strange to be sitting here, joking about Rylan with his own family, knowing that he isn’t here to defend himself. A small part of me wonders if I’ve betrayed him, even if just a little.
But then I remind myself of the king’s promise—tomorrow, Mathis will take me into town. And maybe, just maybe, by this time tomorrow, I’ll be so far away from here that I’ll never have to worry about seeing any of them... or Rylan... ever again.
The thought brings a confounding mixture of relief and sadness, but I push it aside. I can’t afford to dwell on emotions right now. Not when freedom is so close.