Chapter 7
seven
I’ve been mindlessly wiping the same spot on the counter for the last ten minutes. I know if I don’t stop, I’m gonna fuck up the countertop and I can’t afford to fix something like that right now.
“Earth to Nessa. Helloooo?” Rory waves her hand in front of my face, and I blink, snapping back to reality.
“Huh? Were you saying something?” I ask, tossing the rag onto the back counter.
“Nothing Earth-shattering. What’s up with you?” She leans both elbows on the counter, dropping her face into her hands.
When Rory left my shop to open her own dance studio, I was sad to see her go but so happy to watch her follow her heart to where it truly belonged. Now, most days she spends more time here than she ever did when she was employed at Mug Life.
“Can I ask you something?” I busy myself with clearing pastry plates and coffee cups off tables as she watches me intently.
“Of course.” She takes the dishes from me, placing them into the sink behind the counter.
“It’s kind of…personal. Feel free to tell me to fuck off.” I joke, knowing she keeps most of her personal life to herself when it comes to the business side of Breaker’s world.
“How much do you know about Sebastian?” I ask, and she stops walking, propping her hip against the counter.
“More than a little, less than a lot. What kind of information are you looking for, Ness?” She raises an eyebrow at me, and I fall into a chair across from her, resting my head on my palm.
“He said something the other day. It just made me wonder,” I tell her. I’m not sure how much I should really say, if anything at all. Maybe Breaker keeps Rory completely in the dark about the things he does.
“Are you asking me about the man? Or about his business?” She sits in the chair across from me, a smirk painting her lips.
“I’m not interested in him.” My expression is unfazed. I mean it with every ounce of my being, I am not at all interested in fucking Sebastian.
“Uh huh. And the six foot asshole warming my bed every night wasn’t interested in me at all either.
ANYWAYS, if you’re asking me for specifics, I can’t give them to you.
But if you’re asking me if he’s a good man, I can tell you he is.
He’s protected my family and people I love in ways I can’t even begin to explain.
” There’s a sincerity in her eyes that’s unmistakable.
“Good men don’t cut people’s tongues out, Rory.” I scoff, thinking she’ll be appalled. But she doesn’t even flinch.
For a moment, she just stares back at me as if she’s wondering if I’m being serious.
Standing with a shrug, she walks over to the cooler and places a five dollar bill down before taking a water bottle out and twisting off the top.
She takes a long drink, leaving me swimming in my own thoughts.
Just before I feel like I might drown, she clears her throat, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at me.
“You of all people know this world isn’t black and white, Vanessa. People aren’t always just good and evil. Do you think my husband is a bad man?” She asks, and I jerk back.
“What? No! Of course not!” I exclaim. Breaker is one of the most caring, selfless people I’ve ever met. Rigid and a bit of an asshole if you cross him? Maybe. But never an evil man.
“Yet you would be shocked by the number of lives he’s taken in my defense.
In the defense of others he loves. There are skeletons in his closet stacked so high they’d bury him alive.
But I choose to see him for who he is, Vanessa.
Who he really is.” She has so much faith in the man he is, it makes me jealous.
“Sebastian is different. I can feel it. He’s not…he’s just not the same kind of man Breaker is, Aurora. He’s colder.” I stare out the front windows, watching the cars driving by at a snail’s pace. This town is always so slow, so safe.
“Cut him some slack. The world he lives in isn’t like ours. Some things just require you to be more detached. More…dickhead-like. Sometimes bad people do good things for the right reasons, Ness.” Her sly smile makes my head swim. What the hell does that even mean?
Is Sebastian a bad guy? A good guy who does bad things? A fucking vigilante? Who the hell knows? I feel way more confused than I did at the beginning of this conversation. All I wanted was a simple yes or no, and she gave me fifty shades of fucking confusion.
“I’m trying to ask you if I’m safe around him.
Normal people don’t cut people’s body parts off, Aurora.
But evidently Sebastian has.” I roll my eyes, wondering even more now if his threat was a gross exaggeration or something far more sinister.
But I don’t have to think too hard. I know he meant it.
I’ve seen the truth in his eyes when he spoke.
The man has no need to lie or place empty threats at my feet. His real experiences are scary enough.
“I’ll put it this way. Would I leave him alone to babysit Jasper?
No, but only because I’d worry more for Sebastian's sanity than Jasper’s safety.
” She laughs softly, and in all of her unspoken words, I have my answers.
There is nothing in this world she holds more dearly than the safety of her son.
If she would trust Sebastian to protect him, then he can’t really be all that bad. Can he?
Not wanting this man to occupy any more space in my mind than he already has, I force him from my thoughts.
“New subject. I missed you in class this week. Are you cheating on me with a different yoga class?” I joke, lightening the mood.
A small smile teases across her lips, and she avoids my eyes. Rory isn’t ever one to beat around the bush in telling me things how they are, so her avoidance is odd behavior.
“Something you want to share with the class, Mrs. Negan?” I cock a brow at her, and she drops her head back, staring up at the ceiling as if she's contemplating giving me the codes for nuclear launch.
“If I tell you, you absolutely can not tell my husband that you know. He’s so sensitive, Ness. I know he doesn’t seem like it, but he is, and he wants to be careful…,” she trails off, looking out the front window, completely lost in her thoughts.
“Cross my heart, hope to…well, let's not have anybody dying around here, okay?” I take her hand in mine, pulling her attention back to me. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I'm pregnant again. I was at a doctor’s appointment, that’s why I missed Wednesday morning yoga.” Her voice is soft and quiet, her smile so warm and full of excitement.
My eyes burn with unshed tears. Since the day I moved to this town, Rory has embraced me wholeheartedly.
She never judged a single part of my past, my family, or any sordid detail I ever shared with her about where I came from.
I could never begin to express my gratitude to her for making this place feel like a real home.
The thought of their family growing again is such an incredible joy.
“Oh, Aurora,” my words are watery and choked, “I’m so excited for you guys!”
Tears fall, streaming down my cheeks freely until I’m a full-blown raccoon. But I don’t care. I can’t imagine two better or more deserving parents than Rory and Breaker. They’re the kind of people I wish would’ve raised me as a kid, but we all play the hand we’re dealt.
“Thank you, we’re really excited. Nervous, terrified, but so excited.” She responds, and I get it. I can’t even imagine the amount of responsibility of caring for another human. I’m barely hanging on, just taking care of Doug.
Now more than ever I feel the need to keep my problems as far away from her as possible. Whoever is creeping around my house in the middle of the night, if this ghost even exists, it can’t touch her and her family.
Later that night, I find myself staring at the crooked shiplap ceiling in my bedroom. Doug snores quietly at my feet as my mind races through a thousand different thoughts.
Jealousy…
As happy as I am for Rory and Break, I envy the love they share and the security their family provides them both.
Loneliness…
I lie here every night in my own home surrounded by a life I built with my own hands, but at what cost?
My family, my friends, nearly everyone I grew up loving feels like nothing but a memory I’ve long outgrown.
I don’t regret the decisions I made that led me to Grovewood, but sometimes I wonder if I will ever have the kind of life my friends do.
Will I ever have a man who truly loves me for me?
Who knows the depths of my soul and accepts the darkness he finds there?
Wind blows hard against the side of the house, making the trees rustle nervously against the siding. That sound never used to unnerve me, but lately it has been. I tell myself there’s nothing to be afraid of. The house is old, so is the town, and nothing here is going to harm me.
Popping a sleeping pill into my mouth, I chug half a glass of water, leaving the rest on my nightstand before wrapping my blanket around me and forcing my eyes closed.
“Oh, diavolina. Might as well have left the door unlocked for me with a sign that said free buffet. You are mouth watering. And all for me?” My masked stranger runs his hand down my thigh. I’m frozen in place, my limbs like lead, completely incapable of escaping his touch.
“How…did…you…” I try to speak, but my words are whispered and slurred, like I’ve had an entire bottle of whiskey and finished it off with a joint.
“How did I what? How did I manage to find my way into your mind again when you’ve tried so desperately to keep me out?” He asks, and my confusion only deepens.
Is that what this is? Is it all a vivid dream? No, I know the glass was moved last time. I know Doug was locked out of my room. Doug. Where is my dog?
“W-wh….my dog…” I force the words from my mouth, and he grins, his smile vicious and sharp.
Panic floods through me, goosebumps spreading across my skin where his fingers trail.
I listen for the familiar sound of his collar, but all I hear is the sound of blood rushing in my ears.
Searching the man’s face for any scrap of reason, any semblance of reality in the room with us, but I’m met with the same beautiful but terrifying mask from before.
The moonlight reflects off the white surface, illuminating his dark features.
Now, even more than the first time, I am more convinced than ever he is truly the devil.
But why is he haunting me this way? What have I done to deserve this?
“Deserve? You think I’m here because you deserve this?
No, diavolina. I’m here because I cannot stay away from you.
Because I’m drawn to you like a moth to the flame.
Because from the moment I laid eyes on you, you felt like mine.
And I take what’s mine, Vanessa.” His voice is cool silk, sliding across my skin smoother than anything ever has before.
The way he says my name, with such familiarity, it’s like he’s known me my entire life.
As much as I want to fight him, to fight back against his far too presumptuous words, I can’t.
Because some sick part of me agrees with him.
Since the moment he first touched my skin, I felt like he claimed me as his, like I can’t get the thought of him out of my mind, even though I have no idea who hides behind his false face.
He has consumed my every dream, and fears of who he could be have taken nearly all my waking moments as well.
“D-don’t…” I do the best I can to shake his hand from my body, but it’s no use.
I can hardly move a muscle. Surely he’s drugged me in some way.
Sleep paralysis maybe? I’ve never experienced such a complete disconnect between my mind and body, but as desperate as I am to escape this room right now, it feels impossible.
His hand glides higher up my thigh, palm skating easily across my skin.
Electricity buzzes in his wake, heat blazing across my skin, warming me straight to my core.
I shouldn’t be turned on by this entire experience, but I can’t make my body not want it.
Any rational woman would say fear is the biggest turn off but apparently not me.
“Don’t what, diavolina? Don’t give you exactly what you want?
You think I can’t feel the heat from your body?
Smell the sweat from your skin? I know you want this just as badly as I do.
” He lowers his mouth to the shell of my ear, his voice a rough whisper.
“I will give you everything, Vanessa. Everything you dream. Everything you desire, but are too scared to admit out loud. I will give it all to you.”
His black fingers wrap around my throat, squeezing until I see stars. But I don’t resist. I let him drag me into oblivion. Wherever he wants to take me, I want to go. It has to be better than this lonely existence.
“I will live and die for you, diavolina. All I ask is for you to do the same.” His grip shifts, turning my head toward his. I can’t see his eyes, but I know they’re boring into mine. I can feel them.
“Will you? Will you die for me?” He asks so simply.
That’s the last thing I hear before my vision blurs and fades to complete darkness.