Chapter 15
fifteen
We spend the next nine hours completely avoiding eye contact.
I’m so on edge, so utterly alive with tension from kissing Sebastian I could explode at any moment.
I hadn’t expected him to treat me so kindly when I was feeling so overwhelmed.
I have moments of overload where my mind completely goes off the rails and there’s no slowing the rapid deterioration of thoughts as they take over.
Somehow, Sebastian was able to do what no one else has ever done before.
Not my sister, not my friends, not a single therapist I’ve paid hundreds to help me find coping mechanisms for this problem.
He pulled me against his solid chest, and every thought went silent.
I couldn’t help but curl into him, enjoying the sound of silence.
At some point during the flight, he started working on his computer.
The steady drone of his fingers typing away against the keys lulls me into a dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.
I don’t see my masked ghost, I don’t see visions of anything at all.
I simply enjoy the blissful nothingness until I’m enveloped again by powerful arms and that familiar clean leather and rain scent.
I didn’t think it was quite possible for someone to smell this expensive, yet earthy at the same time.
Like luxury grounded by the rawness of the elements. Warm, smooth, and clean.
“Did we land?” I ask, my voice weak with sleep.
“I’ve got you, Bambina. Sleep. I’ll wake you when we get to Villa di Arsenio.” He kisses my hair softly, shifting my body in his arms as he carries me to a waiting car. He settles me in a soft leather seat, shutting the door without getting inside.
After a few quiet moments alone with my thoughts in the car, my mind finally wakes up to its surroundings.
I’m in Italy. In the backseat of a very lavish car.
Is this a fucking Rolls Royce? What kind of alternate reality have I fallen into?
A man sits in the driver’s seat looking straight ahead, totally motionless.
If not for the faint lift in his shoulders, I could swear he was a robot.
Despite that, I somehow feel so safe here.
It’s a strange feeling, being cared for like I’m something precious.
I’ve never been treated as such before. I’ve never been at the top of anyone’s priority list but my own.
But something in Sebastian’s touch, in the way he looks at me, tells me that might not be true anymore.
There are still so many unknowns between us. But of two things I am certain.
First, Sebastian is carrying a secret too heavy to be harmless.
He’s told me it’s safer not to ask questions, but I’ve heard that a hundred times before in my life.
Usually from drug dealers and suppliers, the people who kept my parents in business for most of my life.
The truth he’s hiding could destroy whatever this is before we’ve even had a chance to define it.
Second, and most unfortunately, I don’t fucking care. That kiss, the feeling of pure, unadulterated relief I felt as soon as he held me in his arms, it was worth whatever hell could possibly rain down on me because of who he is.
When we were younger, Aria and I used to talk about the kind of people we wanted to end up with.
She would always describe someone sassy and fun who loved adventure as much as she did.
My list of wants always consisted of someone who satiated my starving soul.
Someone who could quiet the constant cacophony of worries all speaking at once.
I’ve lived as long as I can remember with a thousand half-formed thoughts rattling like loose change inside my skull.
Even my calmest moments radiate uneasiness, as if something is always about to go wrong.
The only thing I ever longed for in a partner was someone who could make all the noise disappear.
What I never imagined was finding it in a man like Sebastian.
He’s nearly old enough to be my father, but I don’t even consider that minor detail. That’s at the very bottom of the list of reasons why I shouldn’t want him. He’s arrogant, overbearing as hell, and I can’t imagine what it would be like if he thought he had some type of control over me.
Am I really that delusional? He already does.
The passenger door swings open, Sebastian’s large frame crowding me as he slides into the seat next to me. I move back, giving him his space, but I don’t make it far before his hand clamps down on my thigh and he drags me back across the smooth leather seat until my body is flush against his.
“Puoi andare, Enzo. Vai direttamente a casa, senza fermarti.” He speaks rapid Italian to the man in the front seat, who replies with only a sharp nod.
“The creepy robot has a name?” I whisper to Seb, his face so close to mine I can see every muscle in his jaw flex when he laughs.
“Robot? Who? Enzo?” His brows pinch together as if I’ve just told the funniest joke he’s ever heard.
“Yes, he was so still and quiet. Freaked me out,” I shrug, and he leans forward, slapping the younger man on the shoulder as we pull off of the tarmac.
“Lei pensa che tu sia un robot. Il tipo sbagliato di rigido, amico.” He jokes, his smooth Italian accent even more intoxicating than I was prepared for.
“I know you’re making some kind of joke at my expense, but I don’t care.
You can keep speaking Italian all night long, though.
Shit, you can read the fucking dictionary for all I care as long as you do it low and slow in that beautiful voice.
” I lean back, scooting slightly away from him and sliding my phone out of my bag.
My sister texted me six times. With the time difference, she’s about six hours behind us.
It’s only nine in the evening in Miami, and she’s probably getting ready to finish the dinner service at her restaurant.
I don’t want to interrupt her. I send her a quick message letting her know I’m safe, I’m taking a little time away, and I’ll call her soon.
Scrolling through several other notifications, I open the thread between Rory and I, wondering how much I should really disclose to her about what I’m feeling for Sebastian.
Glancing over at him as the car eases through the quiet cobblestone streets, he seems to be doing the same thing I am.
Only he looks far more concerned with whatever he sees on his screen than I do.
His expression is suddenly cut from stone, his jaw locked, mouth drawn into a hard, unforgiving line.
His eyes are sharp and unblinking, stripped of the warmth they possessed only a moment ago.
His brows are drawn low and tense, carving shadows that make his face feel colder and heavier.
Instantly, I want to fold myself into his side, to smooth the hard lines etched across his face and bring his joyful expression back, but I don’t interrupt his thoughts.
Instead, I focus on what Rory said over the past several hours while we were traveling.
“Don’t worry about your furry child. He’s blissfully happy lying out by the pool right now!”
“Are you in the air? On an actual plane? Don’t throw up...”
“Seb told Break you guys were going to be gone for two weeks!? Bitch TAKE ME WITH YOU!”
“When you become the next queen of Italy (does Italy have queens? Idk. But if anyone can make it happen, it’s Seb) don’t forget who kept your doors open, okay? Bring me excellent wine for future use!”
“Things are running just fine here, and we’ll be totally okay. So don’t worry. You need to take care of your mental health. And maybe also clear the cobwebs from your lady bits.”
She sends a last message with three shrug emojis, and I snort out a laugh. She’s fucking outrageous, but I couldn’t love her more. The family I’ve created in Grovewood has brought me more joy and comfort than most of my blood relatives ever have.
“Something funny?” Sebastian asks, not looking up from his screen.
“Just Rory checking in. Nothing more scandalous than usual.” I reply, sending her a quick thank you and promising to send her endless pictures and updates.
Sliding my phone back into my bag, I cross my arms over my chest, leaning my head against the soft leather seat.
I take a moment to appreciate Sebastian’s features.
They’re anything but cute or soft, but he is still the most attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Over the past several weeks, I’ve kept myself from studying him as much as I could, but that hasn’t been as effective as I’d hoped.
I haven’t missed the way his dark brown eyes pierce straight through me every time they meet my gaze, like a hunter honing in on his prey.
Or the way he keeps a small dagger tucked into the waistband of his pants along his back, in case of emergencies, I'm sure. I haven’t missed the tension he carries in his shoulders, as if he’s constantly holding the entirety of the world on his back, never resting for even a moment because who knows what might befall him if he does.
He drops his phone in his lap. His long fingers flex, the ‘VITA NERA’ tattoo inked across his knuckles flashing in the moonlight. I want to trace every inch of ink on his skin, map it all with my fingertips. I want to know this man inside and out. But something tells me it will never be that easy.
“Will you tell me where we’re going?” I ask, feeling like I’m begging for morsels.
“To my home. Villa di Arsenio.” He replies very matter-of-factly, as if it’s normal to address property so formally.
“Your home has a title?” I press, but he just smirks.
“My home has a great many things, Bambina. I will show you when we arrive. Be prepared though. It may be a little more…vast…than you’re accustomed to.” His expression gives little away, but I’m even more confused now than I was when we got on the jet.
“How vast are we talking here, Seb?” I ask, and a sharp gasp sounds from the front seat.
Sebastian meets Enzo’s eyes in the rear-view mirror, and the men share some unspoken conversation I’m not sure about.
Did I say something wrong? Am I asking too many questions?
I don’t really know the protocol for traveling with your not-boyfriend to foreign countries with no knowledge about who he really is, where you’re going, or what you’re gonna do there.
Enzo’s harsh gaze finds mine for only a second before Sebastian is holding a gun to his temple, even though he’s still driving the car.
He swerves slightly, correcting himself quickly, and I gasp, not knowing how to process what’s happening in front of my eyes and how an innocent conversation turned into this so quickly.
“This I will say in English so it is crystal clear. Be careful with your eyes, Enzo. Before you lose them. You will show her the respect she deserves, or you will answer to me, captio?”
“Sì, capo. Mi scuso.” Enzo says, his expression morphing from hardness to one of respect instantly. Capo?
“Do not apologize to me. Apologize to her.” He points back at me, not removing the barrel of the gun from Enzo’s temple for even a moment. The man is fucking unhinged.
“I’m very sorry, I did not mean to offend you.” Enzo’s accent is thick, and he looks truly remorseful. I give him a nod in return, unable to speak a single word.
Maybe my initial assumptions about Sebastian weren’t far from the truth.
What the fuck have I gotten myself into, and why did that make me want to fall to my knees for this man?
He exudes power in a way I have never before seen in my life, and it is euphoric.
He’s impossible to deny, impossible to ignore.
I’ve been trying for weeks now with no success.
“Good. Now that we have that cleared up. Enzo will be in charge of your security while we are here in Italy. Should you need anything and I’m not around, Enzo will be there.” he says so plainly, like bodyguards are a regular occurrence in everyday life.
“La proteggerai come se fossi me. Se le succede qualcosa, la pagherai con la vita.” He speaks to Enzo, and whatever he says makes Enzo’s eyes widen before he nods his understanding sharply.
I don’t speak Italian, but I can use my context clues well enough to understand he said something about paying with your life.
“I’m going to have to learn some Italian if I want to keep up around here.” I joke. Sebastian smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“But it’s so much easier for me to talk about you when you have no idea what I’m saying, Bambina” The bastard actually has the audacity to wink at me, and I wonder if all of this is one big dumpster fire and I’m holding the matches.
“Welcome to my world,” he whispers against the shell of my ear, and I swear I feel a tear slip down my inner thigh.