Chapter 22 #2
“No, it’s not that. What people do with their bodies and their money is their own choice.
I don’t feel one way or another about drug dealers who sell to adults who are capable of making their own choices.
But my parents, they target the junkies, the ones who are fresh out of rehab or a step away from an overdose.
And kids. They never have a problem selling to children.
That I have a problem with. If some rich playboy wants to snort coke off a stripper’s ass, or some suburban mom is more interested in ecstasy than diet pills, that’s their business.
But children? It doesn’t seem like a fair customer base to me, ya know.
At least give them a fighting chance.” Silence drags on between Matteo and I, and I wonder if I’ve said something wrong.
“I won’t pretend the work we do is righteous.
It is far from it. But Sebastian has very strict rules for our distributors.
That is part of the reason there are so many we refuse to work with.
A mafia boss with a conscience? It’s a conundrum, for sure.
I often wonder if it will be his downfall.
But he has this ability to…turn it off. When it’s necessary.
” Matteo finishes the last of his drink, leaning his head back against the seat.
A loud ringing breaks the silence in the cabin, and my heart stops.
He answers without hesitation, speaking rapid Italian to whoever is on the other side of the line.
I really need to join one of those language apps or something because this shit is getting old, fast. His eyes find mine as he continues his conversation.
I can’t discern a single thing from the look he’s giving me, but he doesn’t look away.
The tension in his shoulders doesn’t release either.
Panic grips both of my lungs, squeezing until all the air has been expelled from my body.
His conversation is quick, and his face looks severe when he hangs up.
“Give me something here, Teo.” I beg, my voice shaking.
“He’s okay. He’s going to be okay.” The words come out of Matteo’s mouth, but they feel a thousand miles away.
A sob rips from my lips before I can stop it.
I feel like I've been holding my breath since they carried Sebastian into the dining room, and now I can finally exhale. My head drops into my hands as I let the tears flood down my cheeks. I thought I would feel devastated by the knowledge he’s okay and I can’t be by his side.
But right now, the only thing I feel is complete and utter relief.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a selfless love for another person in my life as I do right now, knowing that even if I can’t be with him, he’s still safe and sound somewhere in this world.
“Enzo said he’s resting now. He’ll keep me updated on his condition.” Matteo exhales, the tension finally relaxing in his shoulders.
“Go back. Once we land, after I’m home safely, you have to go back.
I don’t know what he told you to do, Teo, but I don’t want you to stay with me.
He needs you more than I do. I’m more than safe in Grovewood.
But I need to know he’s just as protected.
And the only way I will know that is if you’re by his side.
” I wipe my face, breathing deeply for the first time all day.
“Get some rest, Ness. It’s a long flight. We’ll talk about it when we land.” He brushes me off.
“I’m serious, Matteo. Please let me love him the same way he’s loving me. Take me home and then go back to him. I could never live with myself if something happened to him again and you were thousands of miles away.” I plead, and he seems to be seriously considering my words.
“It’s not that simple, Vanessa. Sebastian gave me an order. I cannot just defy him.” He sighs, and for the first time, I find myself feeling truly exasperated by this world.
“Can I ask you…what did you call me earlier? In the dining room with Enzo? Regina Mia? What does it mean?” I ask curiously, wondering if it means the same thing in Italian as it does in Spanish.
“Caught that, did you?” He smirks, running a hand over his face.
“You are a strong woman, Vanessa. I’ve known Sebastian a lifetime.
I’ve long wished for him to find someone like you to walk by his side.
Someone who could help shoulder the weight of his responsibilities, without complaint or judgement.
Someone who would defend him just as fiercely as he defends all of those he loves, an equal.
A partner to challenge him in the best way possible.
Only a Queen is strong enough to stand beside a King, Vanessa.
You have the makings of a true Queen. But that kind of position, it takes from you as well.
It takes away from the life and dreams you always envisioned for yourself.
This family, this lifestyle, while it may seem enticing, it is not for the faint of heart or the weak minded.
Once you’re part of Fortuna Nera, you can never leave.
” His words are solemn, not meant to sway me one way or another, but more to make me understand the weight of the decision.
Being with Sebastian isn’t as easy as just falling in love like every other woman.
I can’t live some soft fairytale dream where everything is sunshine and rainbows, and my boyfriend works a boring nine-to-five job at a cushy bank and comes home every night for us to watch Netflix in matching PJs.
If I choose a life with Sebastian, it will be unlike anything I’ve ever dreamed, in every beautiful and dark way I could imagine.
But now, knowing him in the way I do, and having felt his soul intertwined with mine, I could never envision a life where I didn’t belong to him.
There are still so many secrets left to uncover about each other, so many nuances left to unfold.
But I know there is no one I want to spend the rest of my life learning about more than Sebastian.
No one has ever challenged me, or annoyed me, worshipped, or infuriated me more than that man.
He was either born in hell or heaven sent, either way and without doubt, he’s mine.