Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
I slam my quill down, and black ink splatters across the latest trade agreement from the Southern Provinces. The tiny droplets blur the carefully penned words like tears. My eyes burn from hours of reading, but it’s not the physical strain that instills me with the overpowering urge to scream.
It’s the endless parade of decisions, each one more consequential than the last. All piling onto my shoulders like stones.
“Are you going to throw that one too?” Rose sits cross-legged in the corner of my private sitting room, her flame familiar Kin dancing above her small hands as she claps in a rhythmic pattern. The little sprite flares brighter with every clap, illuminating Rose’s face.
I fake a scowl. “Don’t be cheeky.”
The little girl became my unexpected companion today, and I’m pretty sure her presence is the only thing stopping me from setting this entire stack of paperwork ablaze.
“You threw four already.” She issues the matter-of-fact statement with her attention still on Kin. “I counted.”
I huff. Of course she did.
“Are you sure?” I absorb the mess of scattered papers comprised of petitions, treaties, inventories, and appeals from nobles seeking advantage in the new regime.
Rose’s blond curls bounce when she nods. “Four. And you used that word that Mama says I’m not allowed to say.”
I press my lips together to hide my smile. “I’m so sorry. Please accept my humble apology, Lady Rose.”
She giggles at the formal title, her small shoulders shaking. “I’m not a lady.”
“Oh, but you are.” I’m grateful for the momentary distraction. “Anyone who sits so patiently while a queen has a tantrum must surely be a lady of the highest caliber.”
This time she laughs outright, the uninhibited, joyous sound so free of burden that my chest aches. When did I last laugh like that? Probably before my coronation. Maybe even before I acknowledged my feelings for Sterling and discovered the fear that accompanies such a love.
Sterling.
My fingers tighten around the trade agreement, crinkling the parchment. This morning at dawn, Rivlan woke us up by popping into our bedchamber and announcing that Sterling’s training would begin immediately.
I barely had time to register what was happening before they vanished. With a grunt of frustration, I fling the trade agreement onto the floor to join its brethren.
Without batting an eye, Rose continues her clapping game as Kin spins above her hands. “Five.”
“Yep.” A heavy sigh slips loose from my lips. “Five.”
At least I didn’t curse this time. Small victories.
I push back from the desk I asked the servants to bring me earlier, back when I aspired to finally make headway on the mountain of state business. I stand and pace to the fireplace, seeking warmth for my chilled, stiff fingers.
I stare into the depths of the flickering flames, willing them to provide answers. What’s happening to my love right now? Is he in pain? Danger? Is Rivlan reshaping him into someone who won’t need me anymore?
I stifle a groan and berate myself over that last selfish thought.
Sterling deserves whatever gifts the gods bestow upon him. After everything he’s survived, he’s earned all the blessings. Still, the fear gnaws at me.
What if his new purpose steals him away from me? What if he transforms into something I can’t follow?
Rose giggles again. “You’re making the fire do something funny.”
I blink at the rising flames. The fire’s responding to my distress. I force the blaze back down to size with a subtle nudge of my mind. “Sorry. I was thinking too hard.”
“Mama says thinking too hard gives you wrinkles.” Rose bobs her head like a sage priestess instead of a six-year-old.
I chuckle despite myself. “Your mother is very wise.”
“She also says—”
Whatever other nugget of wisdom Rose’s mother shared is lost as the door to my chambers crashes open with enough force to ricochet off the wall. I spin around, instinctively reaching for my short sword.
Sterling stands in the doorway, his chest heaving as if he just returned from a ten-mile run. His wet hair clings to his forehead and neck, and water drips from his soaked clothes.
But his eyes are what halt my breath. Bright and wild, they gleam with an almost feverish glow.
My heart lurches as I rush toward him while scanning his body for injuries. He doesn’t appear hurt though. He looks…changed. “Sterling!”
“Lark.” His velvety baritone rumbles my name like a prayer.
His entire body vibrates, practically humming with energy. Water droplets fall from his hair toward the floor, but they never hit the rugs. Instead, the liquid hovers for a moment before rising back up to him, as if he’s become a lodestone for the element.
“What happened?”
He tunnels a hand through his hair, arcing water droplets that hang suspended for a heartbeat before sinking into his skin. The gesture is quintessential Sterling, except tinged with something otherworldly.
“It was…” He pauses, likely searching for language to describe events too alien for human words. I experienced the same issue when trying to articulate the dragons’ emotions.
I find myself observing that simple action. I love the way his eyebrows pull together when he thinks. I love how his lower lip curls slightly inward when he’s concerned. I love him entirely. Completely.
The man he was yesterday.
The man currently standing before me. He’s still Sterling, only more so. The air around him bends and shimmers.
“Incredible.” His shoulders relax. “The water responds differently to me now. Like it knows what I want before I do.”
Rose peeks up from her game, Kin forgotten as she regards Sterling with undisguised curiosity. “Did you fight?”
Sterling laughs, the sound lighter than I’ve heard in weeks. It’s the laugh of the carefree young man he could have been before war and responsibility and loss aged him beyond his years. “Not exactly. More like I pushed away boundaries that were never there.”
He gestures with his hand, and the water from the pitcher on my desk rises up, defying gravity.
The liquid twists and shapes itself into a miniature dragon, no larger than a cat, with delicate wings and a sinuous body.
The water-dragon glides through the air with such lifelike movements, I can hardly believe it’s crafted from liquid.
“I made one of these but as big as the room.” Sterling watches my face for a reaction.
Rose gasps in delight and jumps to her feet, chasing the water-dragon as it swoops around the chamber. “It’s beautiful!” She reaches for it.
The dragon playfully darts away from her before disappearing into the wall on the far side of the room, leaving no trace of water behind.
Rose spins back toward Sterling, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “How did you do that? Where did it go? Can you make it come back?”
Sterling’s eyes find mine over Rose’s head, and I note the almost manic energy vibrating through him, barely contained beneath his skin. “I made an ice formation as high as a mountain. Rivlan says no one has managed that in centuries.”
“Show off,” I tease, smiling.
Despite my fears and worries, the tightness in my chest eases. Lightens. I adore seeing him like this, nonchalant and almost boyish. After all the heartbreak he’s endured, all the royal pressures, he deserves moments of pure joy.
Rose bounces on her toes, and her flame sprite mimics her actions. “Do the dragon thing again!”
Sterling obliges by drawing water once more from the pitcher. This beast is larger, more detailed. The water-dragon swoops low over Rose’s head, and her giddy squeal rings out as she pursues it around the furniture.
“Careful with my papers!” I clasp my cheeks in my hands as Rose nearly tramples the scattered documents.
“Sorry.” His eyes shine with leftover adrenaline and the thrill of discovery. “Rivlan says I’m progressing faster than he expected. That my potential…” He trails off, noticing something in my expression. “What?”
“Nothing.” I wave off his concern and force another smile.
His own smile fades, the euphoria dimming from his eyes. The water-dragon spews a tiny flame of steam at Rose and leads her in another direction, keeping her occupied as he moves closer to me. “But?”
“But nothing. Truly.” I stroke his cheek and find his skin warmer than usual. “You’re…glowing.”
“Rivlan says that’s normal.” Sterling leans into my touch. “Part of becoming a guardian. Renewed vigor and health.” His eyes search mine. “I wish you could feel it, Lark. The power, yes, but more than that. The purpose.”
My chest tightens again, an uncomfortable pressure building behind my ribs. Not fear exactly. Not fear for him. But…if Sterling’s discovered his purpose, where does that leave us?
The water-dragon dissipates into mist that vanishes before it hits the floor. Rose yawns, the excitement of the chase catching up with her.
I focus on her, grateful for the distraction. “Time for bed, little one. Your mother will be here soon to collect you, and I don’t want her thinking we’ve worn you out.”
Even as she rubs her eyes with small fists, Rose pouts. “But I’m not tired.”
“Of course not.” I work to hide my amusement, not wanting to rile her up even more. “But maybe you could rest your eyes for a few minutes? Just until your mother arrives.”
She considers this compromise with the seriousness only a child can muster for such negotiations. “Okay, just until then.”
Rose settles onto the small settee in the corner and curls up with a cushion. Within seconds, her eyelids droop and Kin’s warm glow dims.
Once she’s asleep, Sterling pulls me close, his arms encircling my waist. “You’re worried.”
Power crackles beneath his skin like lightning. “I’m not—”
He strokes my hair. “You are. But this is good, Lark. This is what I’m meant to be. I can sense it.”
I nod against his chest, not trusting myself to speak. Because what terrifies me more than him being wrong is the worry that he might be right. That he truly is meant to be an entity greater than just a man. More. A being different than my king, my husband, my love.
Something too magnificent and wonderous for the likes of me.
Pressing closer to him, I inhale the familiar scent of leather, soap, and spice, along with the newer fragrance of fresh rain and open skies that clings to him. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath my ear, the same rhythm that’s lulled me to sleep on countless nights.
While that bit of normalcy reassures me, I also sense a subtle current running beneath his skin like a hidden river.
I can’t help but wonder if one day that current will grow stronger than the man, washing away the Sterling I love and leaving only the Champion of Water behind.