Chapter 11
JULIET
Things have been weird ever since the night Spenser didn’t text me back. He was distant at work during our next shift, and out of nowhere, he changed the schedule, putting me on mornings with Agnes, giving Jin my old shift.
A couple days ago, I poked my head in his office to ask him about it, but he said he was busy and makes schedules according to the needs of the store.
That’s bullshit, because mornings are slow and Agnes and Jin have always had it covered. The store does not need me in the mornings.
Something is up.
I’m fidgety today, all confused and sexually frustrated. If Jin were here, I’d at least have someone to gossip with. Agnes is sitting behind the counter, reading a new spy novel, and while I know better than to interrupt her, I can’t help it. “Have you noticed that Spenser is acting strangely?”
“Mmph,” she grunts.
I plow on. “He’s barely said two words to me in the last week. That’s weird, right? And what’s with the new schedule?”
“Dunno,” she mutters.
“Come on, you must have noticed.”
Agnes sighs and sets her book down very deliberately. “You got an issue with Spenser, talk to him about it. I got no idea about the schedule or anything else. Now, unless you’re a paying customer, stop interrupting me.” She picks the book back up.
“Agnes, that is spectacularly unhelpful.”
“Good,” she says without looking up.
I glance around the store. It’s quiet, and she can handle any customers who need help. I march to the stairwell and up to Spenser’s apartment, giving the door a determined knock. It takes a moment before he opens it.
He stands before me in a white muscle shirt, gray shorts, and a sheen of sweat. I have definitely caught him in the middle of a workout. I’d like to stare, but I can’t afford to get distracted.
“Hey,” I say. “Can we talk?”
He doesn’t step back from the door. “Now’s not really a great time.”
“Oh,” I say, taken aback. Other than the debacle with the moth window display, I don’t think he’s ever told me no before. And that doesn’t really count, considering I didn’t ask. “Later, then?”
“Sure,” he says noncommittally. “Aren’t you supposed to be on shift right now?”
I nod. “Yep. Heading back down right this minute.”
“Good.” He shuts the door in my face, and I stand there a moment, utterly bewildered.
JULIET
After my shift, I go home and pace around my apartment, thinking about everything that’s happened over the past few months.
Moving here, my chemistry with Spenser, our incredible night flight over Harmony Glen.
Yelling at Braeden and then admitting to my friends that I have real, grown-up feelings for this mothman.
And then, just when I was ready to act on it, he ghosted me.
I shake my head.
Unacceptable.
We danced around our feelings for a long time before we could admit that we were attracted to each other.
I’m not willing to do all that again. This is just like when we had the misunderstanding about the display and he ditched me, but on a bigger scale.
I get that he needs solitude to process things sometimes, but there’s a difference between needing space and fully bailing on a person.
I don’t know if I’m mad or sad or just confused, but I do know one thing: Spenser and I are gonna have this out, and when we’re done, we’ll be together or we won’t.
But either way, I’ll know what’s going on.
I wait until it’s closing time for the store, then march back over there. I run into Jin, who’s leaving.
“Spenser still in there?”
Jin nods.
“Good. See you tomorrow.” I stride past them and push open the door that has yet to be locked. I glance around to make sure there are no customers left—which there shouldn’t be if Jin is already gone—and when I’m sure, I yell.
“Spenser Nightwing! Get your ass over here!”
Spenser appears from the back, where his office is. “Juliet? What the hell?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “What the hell, indeed. We’re gonna have it out, mister.”
He walks closer and looks puzzled. “What are you talking about?”
I point back and forth to the space between our bodies.
“I’m talking about us. About whatever this thing is that we have.
This thing that we agreed to slowly explore before you ghosted me and changed our schedules, apparently deciding you don’t want to be with me.
Which is fine, if that’s what you want, but be man enough to tell me to my face! ”
He still looks baffled. “You’re the one who decided not to be with me.”
I cross my arms. “What are you talking about? I texted you, in what was basically a booty call. In fact, I called for the booty call, even though I hate using my phone as a phone. I tried to find out why we don’t work together anymore.
I came to your apartment this morning to talk and you said no. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“Because you think I’m too different and unusual to be with!” He shouts it, but the emotion in his voice is pain, not anger.
I take a deep breath and force myself to calm down. Yelling will not solve this. “That’s not something I ever said, so I need you to explain to me what you’re talking about, okay?”
“You did say it, though,” he argues in a low voice.
“When?”
“That night that we were gonna meet up. I went over to Hip Hops to wait for you, thinking I’d have a beer and watch whatever was on the TVs, and I heard you talking to Maggie.
She asked you how you felt about me, and you said that I’m ‘different’ and ‘unusual.’ I’m too much of a monster for you, apparently.
I should have known better than to get involved with a human. ”
I blink several times, trying to process his statement. For the first time since I’ve known him, he’s being a boneheaded male. I don’t know what happened to thoughtful Spenser, but he’s been replaced by a jackass.
“Oh, my god, you own a bookstore. You read. You, of all people, should understand the importance of context.”
“What—”
I cut him off and poke him in the chest. “Not that you should have been eavesdropping on my girls’ night, but if you’d bothered to stick around and hear the rest of what I said, you’d know the truth.” Tears of anger fill my eyes and I swipe at them in frustration.
“Which is?”
“That you are different. You’re contemplative and thoughtful and observant. You’re honest and fair and you care about people. You're different from any man I've ever dated, and I meant it as the best thing I could say about you. You’re…” My heart is racing and I trail off.
He takes a step closer. “I’m what?”
“You’re the person I’m in love with, you idiot!” I sniffle. “Not that it matters, since I’m just a human, whatever that means.”
He stares at me for several beats.
I stare back, chest heaving as I fight back tears.
“Well, fuck,” he mutters. He puts his arms on my shoulders and envelops us in his wings, creating a cocoon. A world that’s just the two of us. “You’re in love with me?”
“Yes. I wanted to tell you that night, but you never texted me back.”
He strokes my cheek with his thumb. “As usual, you’re right.”
“I know.” I nod. “About what, exactly?”
He looks down at me, his red eyes soft. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Oh. Yes.”
“I’m so sorry. I keep doing this to you. Hurting your feelings by retreating instead of talking. Can you forgive me?”
He wraps his wings tighter, and I can’t help it.
Even through my anger, it makes me feel safe.
“I’d like to. But if we’re going to be together, you have to use your words.
Tell me what you’re feeling. Talk things through.
Let me know when you need space instead of disappearing.
And for the love of god, stop eavesdropping on me. ”
He grins, nodding. “I can do that. Wanna know what I’m feeling right now?”
“That would be good.”
“I’m so relieved that you love me, because I’m in love with you too.
I have been for months, and when I thought you didn’t want to be with me, it crushed me.
I couldn’t bear to be around you, because my heart was breaking.
I needed to find a way to respect what I thought was your decision, but still protect myself. ”
“Oh,” I say meekly.
“Yeah. Oh.”
“We’re in love?”
One corner of his mouth tips up. “Madly. Wildly. Incredibly in love.” He leans down and kisses me softly, but with intensity.
When he steps back, folding his wings behind him, he asks, “Will you let me make it up to you?”
I shake my head and he looks distressed, but I smile and grab his hand.
“Earlier, when you said we couldn’t talk?
I realized that’s the first time you’ve ever told me no.
That’s when I figured out two things: one, something was definitely wrong between us, and two, you really cared about me and had been going out of your way to make me happy.
You don’t have to make things up to me. Let’s just do better going forward. ”
“Deal.” He grabs me by my waist and spins me around, making the glow from the twinkle lights blur in my vision. Pressing me against the bookshelf, his mouth closes over mine.
Relief and pleasure twine through me.
This. This is right. Spenser and me, kissing in this wonderful store.
I climb him like a vine, hands going around his neck and legs around his waist, kissing him back hard. He catches me with ease, grinding against me, letting me feel how much he wants me.
Almost as much as I want him.
He groans and somehow manages to slide a hand under my shirt, the press of his skin hot against mine.
“Spenser?”
“Mmm?” he asks, nibbling at my neck.
“Take me upstairs and fuck me.”
He lifts his head, gaze meeting mine, and nods. “Yes, ma’am.”
Before I know it, we’re up the stairs and in his room. He moved so fast, he might have actually flown.
He sets me gently on the gray comforter that drapes across his king-size bed. “Tell me what you want.”
I shoot him a wicked grin. “I did. I want you to fuck me.”
A feral look washes over his face, and he yanks off his clothes. “Get naked and get on all fours,” he growls.