Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
LYVIA
Shields to resist their song, flesh to placate.
– Hidden notes in Queen Antares’s secret alcove, Gilded Fortress.
Lyvia – The Abyss
Pain, devastation, and disgrace were my existence.
I relived my sins, taking every stab, every horrifying act of my mortal life, and swimming through my sentence for the second time.
But I gripped Honor in my hand and held on to that tug, somehow kicking my legs through the pain, through the tar-like, inky water.
Time disappeared until at last, my body slammed into another’s.
I grappled with my free hand for an arm as it floated up, my consciousness split between enduring my sins and remaining in my physical body. My hand slid down a coat, and I slipped my hand in his. The rings on his fingers were cold against my skin.
Kellan.
My other arm wrapped around his broad, hard body and Honor pressed against his back. My hand squeezed his, and I tugged back on that feeling.
I’m with you. You’re not alone, I tried to say.
His muscles constricted before his body convulsed in a violent wave, and I nearly lost my hold of him.
But when I tightened my grip, I was back in the Crystal Castle, watching myself approach my dying father…
Panic began to take root, and my heart faltered.
I couldn’t face this again… I couldn’t do this… I couldn’t endure this.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
Help. Help. Help.
I squeezed Kellan’s hand like my life depended on it, pulling on that force connecting us.
Silver light erupted behind my eyes, and my consciousness slammed into another’s.
My mind’s vision ricocheted between my memory at the Crystal Castle and a memory belonging to someone else…
It was Lord Astraeus stalking toward me, his curved blade out and a snarl on his face…
The blade sliced through my chest, and a sickening, white-hot pain consumed me. It warred with a plunging sensation as spit filled my mouth, and a smile spread across Lord Astraeus’s face as the blood splattered against it…
This was Kellan’s memory… Kellan’s sin…
I was experiencing Kellan’s sins… I was in his hell, which meant…
I forced my consciousness to split and gripped his hand once more, pressing Honor to his back as I kicked with all my might. I screamed his name into the inky water as it pushed us down from above.
Kellan’s hand twitched in mine as I was hurtled back into my own sins before they began to ricochet once more. Pain was everything. Shame and devastation collided in my chest as the weight of my sins tore at my determination, and I slipped.
My grip slackened in his, and the visions paralyzed my consciousness.
I simply endured. My agony echoed Kellan’s as I took the place of the suffering victims of his sins.
Endless battles on pirate ships, torture, and acts of war took me from losing an arm to a head, to spilling my intestines on the deck of the Hydra.
A young man with dark eyes and wet, chin-length hair snarled at me in a battle on a ship before running me through with a knife he’d kept hidden in his boot.
The young Kellan snapped his face up as he twisted the blade, and his dark, lost eyes softened in grief as he took the kill, sparking some memory I’d lost long ago.
It went on and on, bouncing between my own acts and his, until finally…
Kellan’s small form shrieked as an older girl, with startlingly blue eyes, was marched to the center of a wooden platform next to a bright fountain, the snaking stone necks of a Hydra stretching from its center.
Her face was pale and scared as she looked at an older boy standing next to a man with long, blonde hair, and a sinister smile crawled across his face.
I laughed as tears streamed across Kellan’s face, and I grabbed the girl by her bright red hair, wrenching a cry from her lips.
Young Kellan screamed in a rage and grabbed a dagger before slashing it at my arm.
He was quick, dodging my hand as I tried to grab him and slicing it down the front of my shin.
He pivoted, sliding between my legs and plunging it into the back of my thigh. I hollered before…
Silver light exploded in my vision. Thick liquid drew long lines down my face as I breached the surface, and air filled my lungs.
“Stay with me, Bonscaíh,” Kellan croaked from behind.
My head lolled against his shoulder. My mind reeled against being ripped out of our shared hell and back into my own consciousness, and I blinked against the stars in my vision.
My temple hit his cheek, and his breath came hot and quick against my skin.
“I’ve got you,” he breathed against my wet hair. His arm wrapped around my chest, and Honor glowed softly in his hand.
Where were we?
Kellan… I’m with Kellan… I found him…
My gaze slid from the ominous clouds overhead to the black water. The Abyss. Kellan tightened his grip as he kicked against the sludge. Swim. I had to swim.
I twisted in his grasp, and he loosened his grip, sliding his hand beneath my armpit as I began to move my arms and legs through the inky water.
My wide eyes shot to his, and relief swept through me.
Inky water spiderwebbed down his face and over his short beard as his sharp jawline hit the sludge.
His long, dark auburn hair was painted black as it floated at the surface. I found him.
“Swim,” he commanded, his dark eyes fierce and somehow bright against the Abyss. A bone boat appeared in the distance, the courier staring at the two of us treading water before letting out an earsplitting shriek.
“SWIM!” he shouted.
I kicked through the thick water, my feet dragging as fire burned through my muscles. The courier rowed toward us as identical shrieks echoed across the Abyss.
Winged rodents cried from above as they circled where we swam, giving our position away to any creatures nearby. Fog gathered as a rumble rolled up from below us. The creature.
Fear stabbed through me as the creatures of Tynan’s Hell swarmed. Dead. We were in the sea of death… There was no escape…
A familiar wave of velvety darkness surged forward. It was the peace of night, the space between stars. It was quiet relief.
You are Death, it seemed to whisper. My own darkness rose to the surface with the gentle reminder.
I scanned the creatures moving closer…swarming us. These were creatures of death, and Death commanded them.
I was Death.
My hand gripped Kellan’s and pulled him to a stop as I treaded the thick water. His wild eyes found mine and his dark brows pinched.
“Trust me,” I croaked through ragged breath. “And do not let go.”
Kellan’s grip hardened on mine, and he gave a confident nod. “Never.”
Something warm flared in my chest. This place was made by the Obscura. By my power. It was at home here, and these creatures were mine. I closed my eyes and sent a gentle tendril of Obscura into the Abyss, searching for the creature that lurked beneath.
The Obscura rippled in response as it reached the large, ancient being and gently wrapped calming shadows around it, coaxing it slowly to the surface.
Kellan’s arm wrapped around my waist as the thick water plunged to the sides, the force of the swells enough to tug us apart.
He tightened his grip with both arms, my hand still reaching toward the depths of the Abyss.
I dragged my gaze up to find his lips a breath from my own, and the black water drew a line over the white scar on his lower lip.
Kellan’s pupils dilated as my gaze landed on his. They widened and darted to my ears for a moment. We staggered as the sticky, bloody back of the creature of the Abyss hit our boots and began to rise. We clung to each other as it breached the surface.
I looked around, waiting for Tynan to appear, but he remained hidden. Thick clouds formed overhead.
“You came for me,” Kellan said, his breaths of air puffing against my lips.
My throat constricted, and I forced myself to swallow as I nodded. “I did.”
Kellan’s chest rose and fell, and I scanned his body. The wounds inflicted by Ganmira and Renova had vanished. He opened his lips to speak, but the snaking feeling of another’s presence crept up my neck.
“We need to go up,” I cut in, pointing to the clouds. “The gate is up there.”
Kellan groaned, the sound sinking into my bones. “Too bad you didn’t bring Tiberius,” he murmured, the side of his lip twitching despite… everything.
Tiberius.
“I did, but he’s not here. He’s—” I began, placing a hand to my scarred chest, unsure how to explain he was still here as if our souls had somehow fused in the process of coming to this place.
Kellan frowned before shooting his eyes to the sky. He raised one hand, keeping the other firmly gripped around my waist as he sent a blast of wind shooting up through the clouds. The sky parted, and a tunnel of black appeared in the distance.
He held a hand to me, his eyes darting once again to my ears.
“If the only way out is up, then become who you need to be,” he said, his voice soft. “Take what you need.”
My brows pinched as I unraveled his words. Become who you need to be…
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I started, shaking my head. I glanced around us at the realm created from the darkness inside me.
Kellan gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning my face back to his. “You are Death,” he murmured, nodding slowly. “And you are also Rebirth.”
I blinked once.
Become who you need to be.
I quieted my mind and strained to hear the golden light of transformation swirling in my veins. Would it be too much to change this way?
I slid my fingers through Kellan’s rough hand before reaching for the other. He closed his eyes and let his head drift back as he sent a spark of power into me. My eyes drifted closed in response, and I wrapped the Transcindiel around Kellan’s line of power that surged through my veins.
Tiberius’s image formed in my mind in all his glory. Powerful, velvet wings beat strong gusts of air as he raised himself off the ground and soared through the air like the living embodiment of freedom itself.
Pain raced down my back and up my shoulders in a single, excruciating second. I wrapped vines of darkness around Kellan’s back and waist as he kept a firm grip on my hands, sending waves and waves of power into me.
His cheek hovered against mine, and he breathed, “You’re ready, Bonscaíh. Rise up.”
Tiberius’s warmth surged through my veins, and that shared bond I had with my caeluma suddenly made more sense. Those shared moments, those shared memories. Our casting and shared consciousness.
I snapped my eyes open, and fire raced down my shoulder blades as I stretched my wings and flew.