Chapter 39
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
NERISSA
An air oath cannot be broken unless by death. You wouldn’t just bind your breath to me… You’d bind your life.
Nerissa – Airborne over the Juniper Sea
The Pissing Toad rocked with laughter, the potent scent of unwashed bodies mingling with the ale-soaked wooden floor of the back-alley tavern. Lida and Isla tugged their hoods over their pointed ears as they sauntered to the dark end of the bar, where Bayne wrapped his hands around four large mugs.
My eyes remained pinned on the door across the room, my nerves dancing every time the soft evening light of Aedrialis filtered in when it swung open. I straightened as it opened once more, and a pair of striking sapphire eyes scanned the room, pausing as they landed on me.
I bit my tongue to keep the ridiculous smile from forming, and Ronan’s lips kicked up when he spotted me. White flashed as he shoved his queensguard cape under his arm, his black armor camouflaging him in the shadows that arrived when the door swung shut.
My thighs pressed together, and I let my gaze drift to my fingers drumming on the grimy table.
My heart was still high from his last letter.
I shook my head, sucking my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling at the lengths he’d gone to track down the soulbinding lyrics, only to discover elves and humans couldn’t be soulbound…
But in his response… My heart threatened to explode… An air oath?
The metal of his armor cooled my rising heat as he slid into the booth next to me, his leg brushing against mine. I slowly drew my gaze up to meet his, a vice wrapping around my chest as his eyes landed on mine.
He reached a hand to untuck my long hair, flipping it in front of my ear, and the tips of his fingers grazed my cheek.
“I missed you, Nis,” he murmured, his eyes darting to my lips. “Have you had enough time to think about it?”
Straight to the point, then. Gods, I loved him. I opened my mouth through a smile to tell him yes. Yes, I absolutely had thought about it, and the answer was yes. It would always be yes. I would bind my breath to his in place of being soulbound.
The sharp crash of breaking glass and thud of an upturned table rocked across the busy pub, and Ronan’s face snapped to the brawl breaking out a few tables down. He turned back to me, but my eyes shot to the group of kingsguards entering the sitting area from the stairs leading to the brothel.
“Ronan,” I warned, nodding slightly to the group of soldiers clad in black.
“Fuck,” Ronan muttered, shaking his head. His focus cut to Bayne and the rest of the crew, motioning them with a nod to stay in the shadows.
“I’ll find you,” he breathed. His hand slid to my knee and squeezed.
I slunk into the shadows, moving quickly to ensure our faces wouldn’t be seen by the Sultiran soldiers.
“Ronan!” the tallest one bellowed as he moved through the crowd. He clapped him on the back. “The queen’s been looking for you.”
“Better not tell her he’s been frequenting this fine establishment.” Another raised an eyebrow and thrust a mug of ale into Ronan’s hands. The soldier jerked his head to the brothel stairs.
I listened from afar. My elven ears cut through the noise of the pub and narrowed in on the man I loved.
“Best not!” cried the first. “She’s a jealous one, and violent, I’ve heard. Ain’t that right, Merik? Rumor has it Queen Galena killed the rest of her fancy family in Krestwood before making her way to Aedrialis.”
Ronan’s shoulders stiffened, and he took a slow swig of ale. His light curls swayed as he slowly shook his head. “I wouldn’t know about that,” he finally said.
“Aye, but you know she’d be jealous.” The tall man waggled his eyebrows. “You spend enough time with her. She favors you. What I’d give to stand guard at the edge of that goddess’s bed…”
I could feel Lida’s eyes on me, but I refused to look back at her as I waited for Ronan’s denial, his assurance that his relationship with the queen was strictly professional.
Ronan’s body stilled, his back to me, before he turned his face to the side.
I caught the flash of his eye before he turned back and shrugged.
But despite what looked like a denial, the soldiers around him clapped him on the shoulder, haughty encouragement and laughter erupting in the resounding howls.
Numbness slipped through me, and a slew of excuses rushed through my mind. He was playing a part, I reminded myself. I’d see him tomorrow, and he’d explain.
Lida’s hand was on my arm, ushering me toward the back exit of the pub as more kingsguards filtered in through the front. I tore my gaze away from Ronan as we retreated and slipped into the discreet inn we’d selected for the night.
The next morning, a small child delivered a note to my room.
I’m needed in Stynguard for a few months. If the answer is yes, find me at our spot on the Awakening.
-Ro
My vision swam as the dream morphed, and I stood upon a bare rock overlooking the Juniper Sea on the brightest day of the year.
The sun had long since set, and each painful minute that passed seemed to move slower.
An agonizing realization settled over me, like a slow tide slipping over my anchored body, its waves finally stretching over my lips and nose.
A suffocating weight burned against my lungs as our moons moved across the sky, the Awakening coming to its end.
A single tear ran down my cheek as a pain like nothing I’d ever felt clawed its way through my chest. It ripped through my body, icing over the heat in my veins and diminishing my sparks until a void arrived.
I blinked, allowing the feeling to spread through me, before a beast awoke inside that empty space.
It flared to life in the dying embers of my chest, a force of self-preservation and survival.
It stood before my breaking heart like a wolf, vicious and snarling at anything that might try to touch it. To touch me.
It was fire and fury.
My consciousness tugged at me, and I buried my face in Aquila’s feathers, taking a deep breath and then choking as tiny fuzzies sucked into my throat. I coughed into Aquila’s neck, my fingers tightening their grip when I realized he was airborne.
Had I fallen asleep up here?
Yes, Aquila’s ancient voice replied. You’ve been sleeping for the better part of the morning.
Fresh nausea seeped into my gut as I recalled the various sea creatures we’d seen on our flight. There were too many tentacles and teeth. Had something else come through the gate since we’d left? Gods, if I had fallen…
I’ll never let you fall, Aquila assured me, sending a fresh push of confidence down our bond.
I straightened, keeping my face forward as I felt Kresida behind me. My cheeks heated before I squashed the embarrassment. I released my grip to wipe the line of saliva off the side of my cheek.
How far out are we? I asked, my stomach churning as my dream resurfaced.
Aedrialis should be in sight soon, the giant hawk replied in my mind. Something feels off.
I frowned at the concern in his voice, and I scanned the cloudy horizon for the coastline of Sultira. My stomach lurched as a gust of wind abruptly shifted our altitude, and I clenched my legs around him.
“What is that?” Kresida called through the wind as she leaned forward, pointing in the distance.
I squinted as a bright, red tower came into view, jutting out from the white walls of Aedrialis. What the hell?
I reached for the Soleia flames on instinct and prepared to form a shield when I slammed into a wall. My powers burned behind it, the familiar nullifying kiss of a rubelline shoving them below a wave of suffocating repression.
“Holy hell,” Kresida said, letting her hand fall. “Mount Telum is a rubelline.”
Sweat poured from the borders of my nose and my temples as we waited in the stone courtyard of Mount Telum. My thighs ached after the non-stop flight from Kayj. Kresida stood in the corner. Her stillness unnerved me. The War Slayer was a pacer, a wolf constantly on the hunt.
I glanced over the marbled balustrade, scanning the soldiers sparring and training. A moment of appreciation passed as I noted the discipline and the sheer volume of able-bodied men and women. Ronan had been busy.
I went still as his voice filtered up the spiral staircase across the courtyard, and I braced myself. His light curls were golden and bouncing as he strode into the sunlight.
Something reluctant eased in my chest as I scanned him.
The training leathers hugged his muscular legs, and the loose tunic unbuttoned at the top made him appear more like the Ronan I knew, not the high steward.
Deep bags hung under his eyes, but their sapphire irises sparkled in the sunshine as they landed on me.
His brows curved upward as he met my gaze.
My focus snapped to the young woman exiting the stairs a few paces behind him. Her strawberry blonde hair was dull, and her tawny eyes wary as they landed on me. Rage surged beneath my skin, and my lips drew up into a snarl as Vienah crossed her arms, her brows narrowing as they landed on me.
“What the hell is that traitorous water witch doing out of her cell?”
“We have a lot to talk about,” Ronan said when he reached me.
Ronan rubbed a hand over his face as he paced past his seat, the steam from his untouched food drawing little lines of mist against the flickering fire in the corner of the council room.
“So, the gate is leaking monstrous creatures into the world… Sintarrak, Renova, and Ganmira are indeed already here… and we need the Celestyn Bone to close the gate?” he confirmed, shaking his head.
I tracked the shadow of beard growth on his jaw, his usually clean-shaven face scruffy.
“At least Lyvia has returned. Evony will want to know…” He trailed off, his tired eyes lost in thought.
“The Celestyn Bone,” I continued. “We need to find it as soon as possible.”
“We’ve scouted.” Ronan shook his head, bringing his gaze back to me. Gods, he looked tired. Was he still watching over the little prince at night? Owyn would be almost one. He likely still had a nursemaid…
“We have no idea where the Stone Witch’s little army went after they warned us about the forces marching north before we took Aedrialis,” Ronan explained, pulling my attention back as he crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.
“Has Evony tried to find them?” I asked, poking at the thin slice of pork on my plate. When was the last time I’d had an appetite?
Ronan nodded. “She has. And we’ve come up empty. Plus, I need her help here. She’s splitting her time between ward duties and training the newest recruits. I really can’t send her off again. She’s one of the best archers we have.”
I nodded, but my brows narrowed, concern growing for the young archer. Responsibilities like that were meant for warriors twice her age.
“And why have you released Vienah?” I asked, a muscle in my jaw twitching despite the indifference I forced into my face.
“She served seven months in that cell. We need her power,” Ronan explained.
I bristled, and he turned toward me.
“Lord Pavel was right when he said you needed an army,” Kresida interjected, her voice hoarse. “But we need the Celestyn Bone just as badly, if not more. We need to close the gate.”
Ronan ran a hand over his face, and my senses tingled at his somber look as he pulled it away.
“Gates.”
My frown deepened as the word registered.
“There are multiple gates into the Realm of Vael?” I asked, mind spinning.
He gave a defeated nod.
“Even more reason to find it,” Kresida urged. “And we need to prepare to face Ganmira and Renova. If they’re strong enough to kill one of the most gifted mystics in the realm, we’re not ready.”
Ronan’s gaze slid to the War Slayer. His brows tilted up before he cut his eyes to mine. I resisted the urge to pull mine away as his face softened.
“I know,” he murmured. “And I’m sorry to hear about Carina.”
Kresida stiffened before she dragged her gaze from the dagger and whetting stone on her lap. She held his stare momentarily before slapping it back to the blade in her hand and slicing it across the stone.
“We should go,” I finally said. “We need to let Bayne know about Mount Telum’s rubelline and the armies. Find another way to communicate through long distances now that the orb won’t work here.”
Kresida stood, sheathing her blade and slipping the stone in her pack. I moved to follow her out the door when Ronan’s hand appeared on my arm.
“Stay, Nerissa,” he murmured, his lips suddenly at my ear.
I stilled, his sandalwood and citrus scent hitting me as the familiar scrape of his calluses brushed against the wolf tattoo on my shoulder. The door hissed shut after Kresida, and an aching regret pushed against the years-long resentment I forced between the ex-queensguard and myself.
“We need to get back—”
“Aquila needs the rest,” he cut in, his body shifting closer to mine. He paused, lightening the grip on my arm, allowing me an out.
My eyes dropped to the stone floor.
“Nissy,” he breathed, the heat from his body suddenly melting into my back as he moved closer. “Please.”
A choking desire to surrender to his touch reared forward, my eyes closing as his thumb drew an arc along my bare arm. My body stilled, and for a moment, the scars of time and the burdens of memory disappeared with the touch of his breath.
But as if waiting in the shadows to pounce at the right moment, the dream hovering in the back of my mind threw its arms around me, and the stinging ache of dishonesty and broken promises shoved me back to reality.
Resentment flooded in its wake, and I shrugged out of Ronan’s grip.
“Find the Celestyn Bone, Ronan.”