Chapter 2
two
My crush on Justin had begun last summer, nearly ten months ago now.
I remembered, because it was only a week after my dad had confessed to my mum that he was having an affair and moved out.
After that night, I’d done everything I could to avoid being in the house.
Being inside meant thinking about him, and thinking about him meant crying, so I went anywhere else I could.
It was summer vacation and I didn’t have a job, so I mostly just wandered the streets.
Eventually, I realized that a group of boys were playing softball at the park every day, and I figured sitting on the bleachers to watch them play beat randomly walking around.
If nothing else, it was a distraction. Something new to focus on.
I’d never been into baseball—I’d grown up watching my brother’s soccer matches and had gotten so into those that no other sports interested me, and baseball was more of an American sport and I’d lived in the UK until I was ten—but that didn’t stop me from returning.
Night after night, I sat there and watched—the yellow street lights as they shone on Justin’s face, the way his shoulders squared up right before he threw, the flash of a grin whenever he made a good catch, like he couldn’t help being pleased with himself.
And I felt my crush on him grow just a little bit more with every passing day.
I’d hardly ever spoken to him, and I was sure he didn’t know I existed, but that didn’t matter. I was happy to play the long game, to wait for him to realize it. And now, he’d invited me to his party.
Well, me and Sebastian. And by extension, probably my other siblings and their partners too, because that was how it always seemed to go when we all got invited out, but that was okay.
This would be the first time Justin would know I was there, and I was sure it was going to be the moment he fell in love with me.
It had to be.
Now, if only I could get my brother to agree to go.
“I’m not stepping foot into Rhys Montgomery’s house,” Sebastian said.
He shoved me over from where I was lounging on his pillows so he could make his bed.
Given that it was after seven p.m., I assumed he was only doing it because his girlfriend was coming over and he didn’t want to seem like a total slob.
“Don’t think of it as Rhys’s house,” I said. “He barely even lives there! It’s really Justin’s house and he specifically told me to invite you.”
“I’m not much of a fan of Justin, either.”
“That’s just because you don’t know him,” I insisted. Sebastian snorted.
“And you do?”
“Yes!”
“You’ve never even spoken to him.”
I gasped. “Not true! I’ve talked to him plenty of times.” Okay, like three times and one of those was him asking if I was in line at the cafeteria, but anything counted.
He jerked a head towards his door. “I love you, but I’m not doing it. Go bother someone else about your crush.”
I opened my mouth to argue further, took one look at his face, and decided against it, knowing how much my brother could be a brick wall. I groaned and stomped out of his room, nearly barreling into my best friend and Sebastian’s girlfriend, Nora, on the stairs.
“Hey, Ainsley!” she said cheerfully.
I paused on the steps, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her from going downstairs yet. “Do you want to go to a party at Justin Vaughn’s house tomorrow night?”
Her face scrunched up. “Is he the guy who broke Derek’s nose during the baseball game last month then got annoyed they paused the game?”
“No! Well, I mean—yes, but…” I sighed. That hadn’t been Justin’s finest moment, although in his defense, he hadn’t wanted the game paused because they knew a thunderstorm was coming in and the rest of the game would have to be cancelled as soon as it started.
Unfortunately, Nora didn’t know him from any other situation, since she’d never met him otherwise.
There was no chance of her saying yes at this rate, especially if Sebastian wasn’t going either. “Never mind. I’ll ask Imogen.”
Not that bringing my twin sister along would fix the problem of Justin inviting Sebastian rather than just me.
“Don’t forget we’re going to the mall with Clementine on Sunday!” Nora reminded me as she continued down the stairs. “And you can tell me all about the party then.”
“Sure,” I called after her, though she was already halfway down.
I didn’t go back to my room. I didn’t really want to sit with the particular flavor of pathetic by having nothing to do on a Friday night, so I grabbed my sweater off the banister and let myself out the front door instead.
It was the kind of evening that made you forget winter had ever happened.
It was only early May, but spring this year was gorgeous.
The air was warm enough to make me feel like my sweater was overkill after the first block and I had to shove the sleeves up my elbows.
It was sure to cool down quickly once the sun finished setting.
My shadow stretched out long and thin across the sidewalk in front of me, and I stared at it as I walked.
If Justin saw me outside of school, when we actually had the chance to talk, I knew we would hit it off.
We would get along great, I was sure of it—we were both athletes, he’d only ever dated girls who looked like me, and I knew from his social media that we had the same taste in movies and music.
All he needed to realize how much we had in common was for us to have a conversation that wasn’t cut off by the bell or me needing to run off to ballet class. This was that chance.
That was the thought running through my head on a loop as I walked an extra three blocks out of my way instead of heading home.
But I had all this restless energy with nowhere to put it, and my feet had decided the solution was to end up here, fingers curled through a chain-link fence, watching Justin Vaughn throw a softball around like he was at the Olympics.
I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me. That was the part that would bother me later—not that someone snuck up on me, but that I was so far gone I hadn’t heard footsteps, hadn’t felt eyes on me, hadn’t noticed a single thing except the exact moment Justin’s hat came off so he could wipe his forehead with his forearm.
“You look pathetic, you know.”
The voice came from directly behind my ear, low and amused, and I did the only reasonable thing a person could do when a stranger’s breath hits the side of their neck in the dark: I spun around with my fist already cocked.
It would have connected square with Rhys Montgomery’s smug jaw if he hadn’t caught my wrist mid-swing with an ease that made me even angrier than the sneaking up had.
“What is wrong with you?” I yanked my arm back, chest heaving, adrenaline turning my voice sharper than I meant it to be. Or exactly as sharp as I meant it to be. I hadn’t decided yet.
“Whoa.” He didn’t even have the decency to look alarmed. He leaned against the post next to me, arms crossed, entirely too pleased with himself for someone who nearly got decked. “Jumpy, much?”
“You snuck up on me and whispered right behind my head like a serial killer,” I said, yanking my hand back. My heart was going so fast I could feel it in my teeth. “Most people would consider that grounds for violence.”
“Most people don’t stand pressed up against a fence staring at the same guy for twenty minutes.” He nodded past me toward the field, and I felt my stomach drop somewhere near my shoes. “How long have you been standing here? Long enough to memorize his pitching stats?”
“I was on a walk,” I said, sticking my nose in the air, not willing to admit to Rhys Montgomery of all people that this particular baseball field had brought me a plethora of peace since I started walking here last summer.
“And if you must know, I’m very curious about softball, so I thought I’d stop and watch for a minute. ”
“Sure. That’s exactly what it looked like.” He tilted his head, studying me with a look that made my skin prickle. “You’ve got a little,” he gestured vaguely near his own mouth, “drool there.”
I did not have drool. I checked anyway and immediately hated myself for it. Especially when the corner of Rhys’s lips lifted into a smug grin. My fingers twitched at my sides like they wanted me to attempt another punch to knock it right off his face. I didn’t, but I considered.
“It’s kind of sad, honestly,” Rhys continued. “He doesn’t even know you’re out here.”
“I’m allowed to watch a public field,” I said, which was, admittedly, not the devastating comeback I was hoping for.
“Sure. And I’m allowed to stand here and enjoy it.” He nodded toward the parking lot, unbothered. “This is easily the most entertaining thing that’s happened to me all week, so, really, thank you.”
“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you,” I snapped. “You could just leave. That’s an option available to you.”
“I could.” He didn’t move. If anything, he leaned further into the fence post, arms crossed, looking for all the world like he had nowhere better to be—as if he’d come out here just for this.
“But it’s not every day I get to watch someone moon this hard over a guy who doesn’t even know she’s alive. ”
“He does know I’m alive,” I shot back before I could stop myself, before I could remember that I was supposed to be composed, unbothered, the kind of girl who didn’t dignify comments like that with a response. “He literally talked to me two hours ago.”
“Wow. Talked to you. Groundbreaking.” He pressed a hand to his chest like he was moved. “Did he say your name or just gesture in your general direction?”
Heat crawled up my neck. “He invited me to his party.”