12. Tripping
12
TRIPPING
JADE
T he following morning, I’m close to limping. Flint catches me as I exit the cave and we fly back. Fortunately, he lands softer this time.
He sets me down but doesn’t lose contact with me as we enter the small cabin, as though he can’t stand to be even an inch away from my skin.
Maxum and Arran observe us with avid interest.
“We bonded,” Flint announces proudly, puffing out his already enormous chest.
“I can see that.” Maxum smirks and waves a hand over his face. “She has that just-bonded glow.”
He’s playing it cool and lighthearted, but I sense he’s a bit envious. I wonder what’s holding him back. Perhaps he isn’t ready emotionally. I get that. I’m not sure if I’m emotionally ready for all this.
Arran gives me a serious look. “But how do you feel? Something’s different.”
“During the bonding, I got an upgrade on my armor package,” I joke.
“Huh?” Arran tilts his head.
“You can fuck me as hard as you like. I won’t break.”
From behind, Flint quickly covers my mouth with his huge hand. “Heartstone, don’t make that a challenge. You still might break.”
I lick his palm, and he jerks his hand away in surprise.
He then cups my chin and makes me tilt my head back until I’m looking up at him. “If you want to lick something, I have other appendages for that,” he says via our mind link.
I chuckle and lean into him and feel his appendages poking into my back. “I’ll take a rain check. I’m pretty tired and sore.”
I glance around when I feel what’s missing. “Where’s Calder?”
“Haven’t seen him since he ran off yesterday.” Arran shrugs.
“He didn’t let you know I was bonding with Flint?” I ask.
“Didn’t need to,” Maxum answers. “I saw Flint take you in the cave and figured as much.”
Panic rises in me. “But where is he? You aren’t worried that he’s been missing since yesterday?”
“Should we be worried?” Arran asks, standing at attention now that he sees my concern.
“Uh, yeah! Guys, you know as well as I do, he hasn’t been okay for a while. Osen’s death was hard on him. I thought you were supposed to be a pack.” I shake my head and turn around to race out the door to find him.
“He’s a big boy,” Osen chimes in.
“No, he’s someone who’s hurting,” I argue aloud so all of them can hear. “And there are evil murderous assholes on the loose!”
I storm outside and crash into the broad chest of a phoenix. I hit him with such force that we both go down to the ground. He makes sure that he takes the brunt of the fall and cradles me in his arms with me laying on top of him.
Once I realize it’s him, I lift my arms up and try to roll off like a fucking worm.
But he doesn’t let me go. “Crap. You hit me like a tank.”
“It’s my upgrade. Sorry!” Not only am I reenforced with stone, I’m faster and more powerful. Dang, I could hurt someone. “I hulked out.”
Calder captures my face and has me look at him. Concern flashes in his eyes. “Jade, why are you upset?”
I’m basically planking off his body, trying not to touch him. I don’t know how much longer I can minimize my contact. Besides, it feels awkward as hell. I’m pretty sure it looks stupid, too. I never thought of myself as the klutzy heroine, but dammit if the guys don’t bring that out in me. Although I’m impressing myself with my record-breaking plank time.
“I heard you didn’t come back after we talked,” I tell him. “I was worried.”
I’m surprised he hasn’t thrown me off. Instead, he sits up, holding me to his chest. My legs automatically fall to the sides of his hips.
“You didn’t have to worry.”
Keeping my arms tight to my sides, I lean back, but that only makes my sensitive pussy rub against his groin. I ignore that heated sensation and say, “Of course I’m going to worry.”
His warm hands are on my upper arms. Are they there to help me balance or keep me in his lap? I’m not used to this touchy-feely side of him.
“I was keeping an eye out for you, guarding the cave while you had your bonding time with Flint.”
“You were?” My mouth hangs open in surprise.
His eyes drop to my lips, and I nervously close my mouth.
“I knew you’d both be vulnerable and preoccupied.” He finally lets go of my arms and rubs the back of his neck. “I tried to give you your space.”
From his blush, I figure he heard my cries of pleasure. But he’s been around that before. Maybe it’s different since it was a bonding ceremony.
In one fluid motion, Calder stands and easily sets me on my feet in front of him.
I’ll never get over how strong these guys are by handling me like I’m a feather.
Turning, I see the shocked and strange expressions on the guys’ faces.
Osen chuckles in my head. “This is going to be interesting to see how this all unfolds.”
“They aren’t jealous, are they?” I ask.
“Not really. But we were never great at sharing, even if most of us shared our bodies at various times. We were never intimate at the same time.”
“Oh, so I’m a wild card?”
“And I love everything about that.”
Calder’s warm hands drop away from my waist. Instantly, I miss the connection. If the tiny sigh that escapes his lips is any indication, he misses it, too.
Arran clears his throat and waves us in. “Let’s feed our woman breakfast.”
Flint snatches me up before the others can and carries me inside and sets me on his lap. Then he feeds me the sliced fruit Arran places in front of me.
Arran cocks a brow and Flint shrugs. “What? You did it after your mating. Seems like a nice tradition.”
I lock eyes with Maxum, and he smiles at me. But I sense an uneasiness behind his carefree gaze. I wonder if it’s about me or that we haven’t taken that step yet in our relationship. That’s something to talk about next time we’re alone. When I glance around the room, I wonder if I will ever be alone again.
I don’t mind being by myself, but I hated being lonely, which happened often even when I had a boyfriend.
With these guys and the bonds, I won’t be lonely again. Though I will have to carve out some time soon to be alone with my thoughts so I can finish my book.
I suspect Maxum would say I don’t need to worry about making money. But my career isn’t only about that, not really. I want to write. I love to write. However, I could do without dealing with ads and all the promotional stuff.
Will I write again?
If I only cared about making money, it isn’t an easy career. There are a thousand other jobs I could have chosen instead. It isn’t easy for authors to rip our hearts open, expose all our insecurities, agonize over every word choice and plot point. We bleed our deepest thoughts and fears into a book. Then we must sit back and watch as reviews come in. Hopefully, sales too.
Some reviewers aren’t just unkind, they are brutal. I wonder sometimes if they realize there’s a human being on the other side.
Fortunately, I developed a thick skin. And not every book is meant for every reader. Instead I focus on the lovely people who reach out to me and tell me how much they enjoy my stories. That gives me the fuel I need to keep at it—knowing we all can escape together into a world that once only existed in my mind.
Then I wonder…
Do these stories only exist in an author’s mind?
Or have we been channeling another reality?
Because now I’m living in one of these alternate universes.
I get dizzy with the idea that the stories we make up all have a truth to them. We could stumble into any of them at any time. If it’s true what scientists say about the multiverse, perhaps all these worlds we write about actually exist.
“Heartstone?” Flint calls me out of my haze of thoughts. “Do you need to rest?”
As he says it, I feel the fatigue hit me since we were up the entire night bonding.
I nod, and he lifts me from his lap and carries me into the bedroom.
He places me in the center of the huge bed and crawls onto one side, pulling the covers over us.
Calder appears at the doorway, looking tired and lonely.
If he kept a lookout the whole night, I understand why he was.
“There’s enough room.” I scoot into Flint some more. “I’ll do my best to keep my hands to myself.”
He gives me a half smile, and after a moment of hesitation, he joins us, but on top of the covers.
Maxum peeks in and tosses the blanket that Calder has been using from the couch at him.
Calder thanks him and lies on his back, appearing uneasy.
“I’m going to turn away from you, but just so I can make you more comfortable.” I say to Calder and then nuzzle into Flint’s chest.
I wake hours later with a warm palm on my hip over the blanket and someone’s face buried in the hair at the back of my neck. It slowly dawns on me it isn’t Arran or Maxum, but Calder snuggled up to me.
Opening my eyes, I see Flint watching him. There doesn’t seem to be anger or jealousy, just curiosity.
Using our mental bond, I ask my gargoyle. “Have you been watching him the whole time?”
“Yes.”
“Does Calder touching me upset you?”
“No. I now understand what happened yesterday. I also see you’re good for him. I sense he’s tired of being broken… to the point he welcomed my threat of death if he hurt you. It makes my heart weep for him. Especially since I know how wonderful it is to feel healed and loved by you.”
My eyes sting with tears, thinking about how they have lived just getting by. Flint and Arran now have happiness, and I helped open that door for them. Calder and Osen are still hurting. I know it’s not my job to heal them, but I want to do what I can.
Thankfully, it seems Maxum has only been lonely. Unless there’s something else hidden in his heart. Could that be why he hesitates in bonding with me?
I hear Calder suck in a breath when he wakes, realizing where he is. Yet, he doesn’t move away like I expect. No, he pushes his nose deeper against my scalp, inhales my scent, and hums.
“What do I smell like?” I ask quietly, letting him know I’m awake.
He jerks ever so slightly. “Uh… you smell like hope.”
“Is hope a musky scent, or does it have more of a flowery note?” Maxum asks from the doorway.
I glance over and see him casually leaning against the door frame with his muscular arms crossed over his chest.
Has he been watching Calder the whole time, too?
It makes me nervous that both Maxum and Flint were so worried they couldn’t let him sleep next to me without monitoring.
“Shut up, asshole,” Calder grumbles at Maxum, but when I look over my shoulder to gauge his mood, he has a relaxed expression. His eyes are soft and hooded as he returns my gaze. He rolls out of the bed and rubs the back of his head, ruffling his auburn locks into more disarray. “Taking a shower.”
Maxum smirks and waggles his eyebrows.
Calder punches Maxum’s arm on the way out.
When the bathroom door closes, my demon crawls up next to me and whispers in my ear. “He’s going to abuse himself in the shower while thinking of you.”
I smack Maxum on the shoulder. “Don’t tease him.”
“What?” Maxum grins wider. “It’s good for his mental health.”
“Harassing him is good for his mental health?” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, because it’s how we used to be. Before.” Maxum strokes the hair away from my face and smiles. “I’m taking this all as a good sign.”
“We shouldn’t push too hard,” Flint adds.
“I agree with Maxum. I’m encouraged by his new energy today,” Osen says in my mind.
As I relax back into Flint’s embrace, I feel a psychic urge to leave the safety of Amira’s sanctuary. I’ve been compelled to do things before, and my intuition hasn’t led me astray yet.
Will the guys refuse to let go so they can keep me safe?