CHAPTER EIGHT #2
As she was speaking, I caught sight of Kieran standing by the fire.
And beside him, with tanned legs that seemed to go on for miles, was Xiomara.
She put a hand on his arm, and he smiled in response.
I couldn’t discern from a distance if he was just being polite, or if the smile was genuine.
Even if I were right next to him, did I know him well enough to tell?
Suddenly I didn’t feel hungry anymore. I poked at my eggs.
“It’s over, you know.”
I didn’t realize what Nya was referring to at first. Then I saw she was looking in the same direction.
“They used to date?” I asked, even though I knew it to be true. I had known it in my gut, my being, my very soul. There was no way two people that beautiful could live in close proximity to each other and be completely oblivious to one another.
I almost laughed at how my thoughts sounded like words straight out of Brielle’s mouth. But even she would have to admit that Zander and I were completely average-looking if she ever had the opportunity to witness the genetic perfection that was Kieran and Xiomara.
Nya snorted. “They didn’t date. They just hooked up for a while.”
Wow. Casual hook-ups happened in Cyllene, sure, but I’d never heard it spoken about so plainly. I couldn’t decide if it was a relief that they hadn’t dated, or if that made it worse somehow—no real feelings for each other, yet a wild attraction that neither of them could resist.
I took a deep breath, inhaling that pungent scent of burning brush. “Is he dating someone else now, then?”
“You’ve heard me tease Kieran enough,” she said, finally eating the piece of egg that dangled from her fork. “He’s never ‘dated’ anyone. That would involve actually caring. Wanting to spend time with someone outside of fucking.”
Clearly, if I wanted to fit in during my stay here, I was going to have to get used to speaking plainly about sex.
“I didn’t realize he was so…” I searched for the right word. “Cold, I guess.”
Nya shook her head vehemently as she finished chewing and swallowing. “You’re not getting it. Kieran would do anything for the people he cares about. In Cyllene, do you only fuck if you’re in a relationship?”
“No, people in Cyllene have casual sex sometimes, too.”
So why was this bothering me so much?
Nya gave me a long look, and in it, I could hear her asking the same question. Finally, she gestured to my half-eaten breakfast. “Finish everything on your plate, or you’re going to regret it later.”
I did as she said. That was part of our agreement, after all. But my stomach still felt queasy.
Since Nya obviously wasn’t going to say anything else about Kieran, I decided to change the subject. “So Wren seems really nice...” I let my voice trail off, the suggestion there in my tone.
Nya rolled her eyes, but also struggled to hide a smile.
“Yes, Maila, Wren and I hook up every now and then. We agreed not to hook up with other people to keep things simple, but we’re not in a relationship or anything.
Maybe one day, when things aren’t so crazy, I’ll think about if I want something more with her or with someone else.
” Her voice became distant as she added, “Right now there’s too much at stake. ”
“Morning,” a familiar voice said from behind me, and I nearly fell out of my chair. Kieran and Xiomara slid into folding chairs in front of us, straddling the seats and resting their arms on the backs to face us.
“What are you two chatting about?” Xiomara asked innocently, tossing her dark curls over her shoulder.
I pressed my tongue to the back of my teeth. It was like she knew that we had been talking about them. And she was relishing it.
Nya’s eyes narrowed. Then she flashed a smile that even I noticed was unusually large and toothy for her. “We were actually just talking about my dating life,” she said dramatically, resting her cheek on her hand.
“What dating life?” Kieran’s grin was as big as Nya’s.
She socked him in the arm. “I was actually just asking Maila…”
Something in her voice made me set down my fork again.
“…about her dating life.”
What the actual hell?
I instantly broke out in a sweat. Nya and Kieran were always making remarks about how naive they found me. Surely she knew my “dating life,” at least at this stage of my life, was nonexistent.
When I didn’t respond right away, Nya draped an arm over the back of her chair and continued.
“Come on, Maila. Kieran and I observed you for days before you caught on to us and forced us to make our move. We saw you go to work every day at your ‘Knowledge Center,’ which was how we knew you’d be able to help us with the marsh wolves.
And we also saw that hot Enforcer who can’t go two seconds without eye-fucking you. ”
“Zander?” I choked out. I should have been concerned about all the possible implications of sharing his name. But that would’ve required a functioning brain.
“Mmm, he was gorgeous. I know your Enforcers despise us more than anyone, but that uniform did wonderful things for his ass. I would be down for some hate sex with him anytime.” She shook her head appreciatively. “How long have you two been a thing?”
Xiomara’s brows were furrowed slightly. She looked as confused as I was about where this conversation was going.
A creak and a flash of charcoal got my attention.
“I’m bored,” Kieran declared. “I’ll leave you all to your girl talk.”
He sauntered off. After a moment, Xiomara excused herself as well.
I turned on Nya. “What was all that about?”
When Nya made eye contact with me, her smile was gone and one brow was raised. “If someone’s going to come into my space and play games, they’ll find another willing player. But they’re going to lose.”
“Are you talking about Xiomara?” I asked, struggling to keep up.
Nya gave me yet another meaningful look. Frankly, having someone constantly look at me like I was a moron was starting to get old. Finally, she said, “Come on. That man you wanted to talk to just sat down.”
“Good morning, George!” Nya said brightly as we each dropped into a chair. “This is Maila. Believe it or not, she’s here because she managed to sneak out of Cyllene for a few days. And she specifically asked to meet you.”
I hadn’t had an image in my head for this mysterious exile before meeting him.
And yet somehow he looked exactly like I would’ve pictured.
He appeared to be in his seventies. Slender, with a frail disposition.
His white hair was both thin and full at the same time, resembling the top of a dandelion.
His dark eyes were two beady dots in the center of his face, but they were magnified by glasses that looked much too big for him.
He was dressed in a cobalt button-up shirt and rumpled khaki pants, and he was neatly cutting his scrambled eggs into bite-sized pieces.
“Ah, a citizen of Cyllene, escaped in the night!” His voice wavered with the weakness of age, but his enthusiasm made up for it. “How exciting!”
“It is,” I agreed. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
He eyed me speculatively. “And why is it so nice to meet an old man like me?”
I swallowed. “My work assignment is in the Knowledge Center. Specifically in the Library. Along with Cato, I was responsible for…sorting your books. At least, I think it was you—”
George cut in with a barking laugh. “Deciding which ones to keep and which ones to burn, I suppose?”
I leaned forward in my seat. “To burn?”
He took a bite of egg. I tried to be patient as he chewed noisily.
Finally, he finished swallowing and spoke, “I know who you are, Maila. I know you work in the Library. I’ve wanted desperately to meet you for some time now, but I was never allowed.
I suppose if I had, my radical thinking might have corrupted yours, eh? ”
He said the last part with emphasis, gesturing to the Strangers’ camp around us. The camp where I had ended up anyway, without his influence. He laughed until he wheezed, holding his stomach.
“How do you know who I am?” I asked.
He set down his fork. When he made full, unwavering eye contact with me, I had the most overwhelming feeling of being seen.
Truly seen. “How couldn’t I know about the young woman who works in the Library, taking care of all our books?
” he said softly. “Just because our paths were not allowed to cross, doesn’t mean I couldn’t recognize a kindred spirit from afar. ”
I don’t know what I had expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. We just stared at each other for a while in quiet understanding.
“I’m sorry about your collection,” I finally said around the lump in my throat. “It must have been painful to have to leave it behind.”
He nodded. “It was. So was leaving behind my friends and neighbors. Everyone I’ve ever known.” He removed his glasses to wipe moisture from his eye.
I didn’t know what to say to that. What I could say to that. So I asked instead, “What did you mean when you said some of your books might be burned?”
The chair creaked as he leaned against the backrest. “You’re young, so the books you’ve seen and read are all you’ve ever known.
But there used to be others.” His gaze drifted above my head, as if he could see them just over my shoulder.
“Books about anything and everything under the sun. Anything you’ve ever thought, anything you’ve ever wanted to learn…
there was a book for it. Multiple books, even. ”
“What happened to all of them?”
He sighed. “Anything that could incite rebellion…anything that could give citizens ‘ideas’ of any sort…those were all burned. Except for a few that some of us stubborn old people have held onto over the years.” He resumed eating.
Yellow pieces of egg were visible in his mouth as he spoke again.
“I bet Cato made certain you didn’t come across any books like that. ”
Apparently. I certainly hadn’t seen any.
“The piles we separated the books into,” I explained, “were books to add to the Knowledge Center and books to share with the public.” This had him pausing mid-bite.
I continued, “Cato said there’s no point in going to all this effort to preserve the books in the Library if we’re not raising another generation to take over for us when we’re gone. ”
George’s eyes became glassy again. “I agree wholeheartedly.”
I felt a gentle touch on my arm. I had nearly forgotten that Nya was sitting beside me. Now she was beginning to stand.
“We have to go,” she said, her voice low and apologetic.
I followed her gaze beyond the bonfire, where a group of around twenty people had gathered, all young and able-bodied. I spotted Kieran, Cecil, and Xiomara among them.
George followed our eyes, too, then smiled kindly. “You kids have fun. If you two join me for breakfast again sometime, I’ll tell you all about what it was like before The Awakening.” He added with a snort, “From a child’s perspective, anyway! But then, what better perspective is there?”
As we made our way through the sea of chairs to the rest of the group, two images kept circling through my mind.
A room full of books.
And an old man, alone by the fire.