CHAPTER FIFTEEN #2
“Just take deep breaths,” a voice said. I recognized it as Zander’s.
The towel disappeared from my forehead, and I felt it reappear against my face, neck, and arms, gently patting away the sweat that coated my skin.
“What’s wrong with her?” The woman’s bark sounded close, yet far away at the same time. Other voices were murmuring as well, but I couldn’t make out the words or who was talking.
“Maybe…” It was Kieran speaking now. “And this is just a guess. But maybe she’s reacting to the fact that you dragged her into a room against her will to sit across from the piece of shit who murdered her older sister.”
Even as I faded in and out of awareness, I wanted to weep at hearing that he had put the pieces together. Wanted to weep at hearing him use that word—“murdered.” Wanted to weep at the barely restrained rage in his voice, the indignance on my behalf, the protectiveness.
For the first time in ten years…for the first time since I lost Irene…I knew what it was to have someone on my side.
At his rebuke, the voices around me stopped, as did the sensation of someone patting me with the towel. I was still floating through darkness, but I slowly started to find my way out of it. The room and the faces across from me fizzled back into focus as if emerging from beneath grains of sand.
Zander was standing to the right of me, holding a damp towel. On the other side of the table, the five seated people were whispering amongst themselves. There was a humorless snort of a laugh from Leon. Then he was pushing his chair back from the table and striding across the room.
He exited out a side door.
“We apologize for the faux pas,” the man seated in the center said.
“Leon”—I flinched at hearing his name spoken out loud, a cruelty that Zander had unknowingly spared me from all these years in by referring to him only as my Mentor—“has certainly been tasked with doing some difficult things for the greater good of our city. I commend him for doing what is necessary even when it involves taking actions that would be hard for the rest of us to stomach.” At this, he glanced to either side of him at the remaining group, and they each nodded their agreement in turn.
“But I can certainly see how Leon’s role in protecting our city could cause him to represent feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment for some.
And so, I apologize, again for our insensitivity in including him in the discussion today. ”
I should have been appalled at how every sentence contained a clear defense of the man who killed my sister. Burned down our home. But by now I couldn’t feel anything except a deep-seated fatigue and relief at the implication that he would not be returning.
“Although we certainly know the two of you,” the man seated in the center continued, and it finally clicked that he had greeted Kieran by name earlier.
He knew Kieran? How? “I recognize that you may not know us. My name is Addis, and although we all work as a team, as we do on a larger scale in our great city, I suppose you could say I am the leader of The Council.”
Wow. I couldn’t decide which surprised me more—the fact that after all these years, I was face-to-face with the head of The Council, or his use of the word “leader.” It was common knowledge that The Council didn’t approve of words like that, hence the term “Mentor.” But apparently, an exception could be made to use a word that signaled power and authority as long as it applied to himself.
Addis paused here, giving the others the opportunity to introduce themselves.
The woman introduced herself as Quinn, the Mentor of Education.
She oversaw the training and development of Cyllene’s children until age thirteen, when they were old enough to receive their work assignments.
Unless, of course, you were forced to begin working at ten because your whole family was dead.
Her attempt at a smile was haughty and laced with that same irritation that had been on her face since we walked in.
How ironic that someone so sour-looking would work with children.
She couldn’t have been that involved in the day-to-day of the Education division, because I had certainly never met her or even heard her name as a child.
Next came the red-haired hair man next to her who introduced himself as Westley.
He was the Mentor of the Medical division of Cyllene, which, although it worked closely with the Knowledge Center on numerous projects, was headquartered in a different part of the city.
Westley had an unsteadiness to his voice, and he fidgeted in his seat.
He said we were welcome to call him “Wes,” which earned a snort from Kieran.
Cato gave his name for Kieran’s benefit and didn’t say anything else. His elbows were resting on the table, hands clasped in front of his face.
Once everyone had finished introducing themselves, Addis resumed speaking.
“It was important that we meet with the two of you today to make sure we’re all on the same page about some things,” he said.
“Kieran, I understand that you managed to break into our city last night from Outside, and that in the process, you left four Enforcers unconscious. Those are some truly admirable men who have dedicated their lives to protecting Cyllene. Each of them have families who are anxious to see them fully recovered. With these men’s spouses and children in mind, can you share with us how our medical team should go about waking them up? ”
Kieran snorted again. I allowed myself a sideways glance and saw that he was shaking his head. “They should wake up soon enough. In the meantime,” he said, looking pointedly at the Enforcers stationed around the room. “It looks like you’re getting by just fine.”
“I think their spouses and children would disagree,” Addis replied evenly.
“Right, yeah. The spouses and children.”
There was a pause as Addis waited for him to continue.
Kieran sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.
“Well,” Addis finally said into the uncomfortable silence. “I suppose we can come back to that later.”
“That was the plan anyway, right? We’ve gotta save something to talk about when you torture me. Otherwise, how will you justify it?”
Addis grimaced. “We don’t use torture as a method of gathering information here in Cyllene.”
“Of course not.”
I scanned the faces of the other Council members and found them all to be impassive. All except Cato. He was no longer leaning his face on his hands, and I could see that his mouth was twisted slightly. He looked uncomfortable.
Was Kieran right, then? Did The Council really torture people?
How often, and for what reasons? Kieran was always saying that I was naive.
After the past few days, I was starting to think he was right.
How had I gone all these years believing that the same people who were capable of executing my sister were above other forms of violence?
Maybe I didn’t believe it, though. Maybe I just chose not to think about the possibility.
“Our primary concern here,” Addis said, turning his attention to me.
“Is this young woman here. Maila, you are such a valuable asset to Cyllene. Despite a difficult upbringing, with family members making poor decisions, you have earned our trust through years of devotion to the betterment of our community. The work you do in the Library is crucial to our continued success in this world of…magic.”
I watched his lips move without hearing. My brain was stuck on “difficult upbringing.”
I saw Irene’s reflection in the mirror as she stood behind me, teaching me how to braid my hair.
I saw her making me a pot of soup when I came down with a cold, and us both laughing—me until I was wheezing and coughing—because it tasted like seasoned water.
I saw fuzzy memories of my mother and father. A smiling face here, a warm hug there.
“It’s not enough that you killed my sister.” Somewhere far away, I realized it was my voice that was speaking. “And that my parents gave their lives for this city. You also have to assassinate their character and tarnish their memory?”
The silence that followed was deafening.
Now I was the one whose stare was boring into Addis. And what I felt blazing inside me wasn’t humiliation, or anxiety, or the pleasant burn that I felt when I looked into Kieran’s eyes.
It was rage.
“I said earlier that we think it’s important,” Addis began carefully.
“To get on the same page about some things. There have certainly been some misunderstandings here, and I think Kieran and the others in his group have…stoked the flames a bit.” Here he gave Kieran a sympathetic smile.
“Your family was on a dangerous path, Maila. One not only of self-destruction, but one that had the potential to take all of us down with them. Beginning with your mother.”
At his words, everything in me became still.
“She realized her own abilities purely by accident. Abilities your father didn’t have, of course. But it didn’t take long for it to become apparent that those abilities were passed on to Irene.”
I blinked at him. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.
“The benefits of those abilities were…immeasurable. The possibilities for how they could have been used to help the citizens of Cyllene—to help us not only survive, but thrive in a world full of magic—were simply endless. But your mother had other ideas.” He paused here, seemingly for dramatic effect.
“Obviously, we have a duty to protect Cyllene’s citizens, above all else.
And so that was the first time Leon had to step in and… handle things.”
Deep in my soul, behind that door that I kept locked at all times, I had suspected the truth. How could I not, after what happened to Irene? Yet his words made me feel like my insides were clawing their way out of my body.
“We had hoped that all these wild ideas, these threats to our citizens’ safety and security and well-being, belonged to your mother and your mother alone.
But unfortunately, your father supported her in her beliefs.
They were misguided, Maila. I need you to understand that.
They weren’t evil people or bad-intentioned.
They were just very misguided. And none of that is your fault or your burden to bear. ”
I was shutting down. This was something I could not handle. I needed Addis to stop talking.
“Your parents and sister couldn’t let go of these idealistic notions of letting Strangers—outcasts and criminals—into our city.
They couldn’t let go of this idea that everyone should have an equal say in what happens in Cyllene, that everyday citizens should get to know the details of its inner workings.
” Addis laughed. “Maila, no one else wants that. No one wants to open their home up to dangerous people and wait for that inevitable day when they hurt us, take advantage of us, or worse. People don’t want the burden of the responsibilities The Council bears.
Maila, our citizens want simplicity, they want safety, and they want contentment. And we give them that.”
He sighed here. Something about it felt rehearsed. “The decision we were forced to make regarding your mother, and your father, and later Irene, was a difficult one.”
Stop. Stop. Stop.
“I hope you don’t think we took those decisions lightly, or that they don’t haunt us every day.
But we are tasked with preserving what is in the best interest of our citizens.
Which brings us to you.” Another sympathetic smile.
“We want to see you take a different path than the one your family took. We want to see you use your abilities—no, let’s call them your gifts, because that is what they are—for the betterment of our people. ”
My brain was in a tailspin. Abilities? Gifts?
I stared at him blankly.
He leaned back a bit, brows furrowing, pressing his fingers to his lips.
“Kieran did explain this to you already, didn’t he? Your gifts? Why he and his group sought you out? Took an interest in you?”
Addis’s eyes drifted to Kieran. And behind the calm demeanor, the soothing tone, the nonthreatening brown eyes, I saw it. A twinkle in his eye. A slight relaxing of his facial muscles. A twitch in his lips.
Addis had won. I didn’t know what, and I didn’t know how, but he had won.
Kieran’s voice beside me was a low growl. “Fuck you, you self-righteous prick.”
I turned to Kieran and was startled to find that his face was frozen in fury, eyes blazing.
“Ah,” Addis said knowingly. I could see him nodding in my peripheral, but I was still looking at Kieran, willing him to look back at me. “So there’s even more to discuss than I had thought.”
Another voice sounded next to Addis. “Why don’t we take a break? This would be a lot for anyone to process.”
Cato. The sincerity in his tone made my eyes burn.
“Yes, yes, this is certainly a lot,” Addis agreed. “But I imagine Maila’s exceedingly confused and doesn’t want to be left hanging.”
What “Maila wanted” was to not be here. For him to fucking stop talking. Stop saying things that made my head ache. But more than anything, I just wanted Kieran to look at me.
“Maila,” Addis said, pulling my attention back to him.
“I want you to know that we are here to help you through all of this.” Quinn and Westley, who had been silent up until that point, nodded their agreement.
Cato’s hands were clenched into fists on the table in front of him.
“We’ve been willing to make accommodations for you all these years, to work with you and support you and keep an eye on you, because you have a special gift. You are what we call a Conductor.”
Next to me, I heard Kieran take a steadying breath.
“With the right input and control, you can wield magic.”