Chapter 33
Lilla
The bright light stings my eyes as I pry them open.
Beeping sounds ring in my ears on repeat.
Fluttering my eyes, hoping with each bat the light attack lessens.
There is a light squeeze on my hand, and I know before my eyes meet his, it’s Jace.
He is in a dirty black T-shirt, his hat backward, looking all sorts of messy and sexy.
I swallow the dryness in my throat, trying to find the will to speak. “Hi, you need a shower,” is all I manage to get out.
I find his dark and somber eyes on mine, as he smirks, “Hi, Phoenix.”
Confusion circles me, but the question doesn’t come.
He grips my hand, his concerned eyes shine into mine, “You are my Phoenix. You always rise.” His chin shakes as he leans over, kissing my forehead. “Keep rising, baby, because I’m nowhere near done with you yet.” His voice is a whisper, just like his kiss.
The nurse comes in, “So good to see you awake. Welcome back.” She brings in a hospital cup with a straw. “Let’s give you some water.” She places the straw in my mouth, drinking down the water, and I gulp the dryness away. “I’ll send the doc in, sweetie.” Giving her a sweet smile, she steps out.
An older bald man walks in, “Hello, Miss Lane, welcome back. Let’s start with what’s happened.
You came in after a structure fire, where you lost consciousness and needed oxygen.
You also had a crushed fracture in your left leg.
That did require surgery to ensure proper alignment and stabilization of the bone.
You’ll be immobilized for at least six weeks, depending on healing.
You’ll also need to apply this serum to your face and to any areas with superficial burns.
You are fortunate, Miss. Lane. This man here didn’t leave your side for a moment.
” He smiles at Jace, “Any questions?” I swallow hard.
“Is Ava okay?” I look at Jace and back to the doctor.
He nods his head, “She’s alive.” He nods his head and leaves.
Lying my head back on the pillow, I think about everything that happened. “Tell me what you were doing there?”
I sit up, looking at Jace, “I got an alarm on my phone, saying the front door was open, and I was on my way to check on Zeus.” I take another sip of water, lubricating my dry throat.
“When I got there, Ava was inside. She was dousing it with fuel. I screamed at her, told her to stop, that there was a dog inside. She didn’t expect anyone or any animals to be there, but she didn’t care.
She was fuming. Screaming at me, how I stole everything.
She was holding a lit match, standing inside, yelling at me for everything I took, everything she was supposed to have.
Not even thinking about what she took from me.
” Jace brings my hand up to his soft lips. Kissing each finger.
“Why didn't you make Hayden get you first? God, Lilla, if you had—I can't lose you. Never again.” He shakes his head.
“Because I couldn’t just let her die. I hate her.
But that’s the difference between her and me.
It always has been. She has always been evil, I don’t know why, and honestly, I don’t care.
But I would not stoop to her level. Leaving her there to die was something she would do, Jace.
” He smiles at me, making me smile back.
“Lil–” He drops his head again.
“You keep saving me.”
He smirks. “Always.”
Finally, it is time to escape the hospital and head home.
Jace pushes me down the hallway in the wheelchair—per hospital policy, I must be wheeled out— I spot Ava in a room.
Jace stops and helps me up, making my way slowly into her room.
I take her in, burned and broken. A bandage covers most of her face; all I can see is her eyes and mouth.
Her arms are in a wrap, and a cast encircles both her legs.
“Li–” Ava tries to say more, but I cut her off.
“You continue to destroy everything and everyone in your path, and I for the life of me can’t understand why someone who has everything can be so hateful.”
“I–I’m sorry.” Her eyes begin to tear up, but no amount of tears will ever bring me remorse for the place she put herself in, the situation she put us in.
“Sorry for what, Ava? For bullying me every day, making me and everyone else believe those wretched lies about me? Oh, what about having me assaulted, and let’s not forget about the pictures.
Want me to keep going? Because the list is never-ending.
You took my innocence, my youth, and now you try to take my livelihood. ”
Ava blows out a stiff breath, “for all of it. You’re right. I did all of that. I started that fire; you should have let me die with it.” Her voice trails off.
I stand taller, because I am stronger now, I am wiser, and I know exactly the kind of person she is and will always be.
“See, that’s the difference between you and me.
You would have let me die. After all the reasons I have to hate you, I still couldn’t let you die.
You have to live with all the horrific things you’ve done.
Now, because of your actions, you’re as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.
Maybe the reminder will make you a better person; you’ll have plenty of time to rethink your choices in prison.
” Without giving her another minute of my time, I walk out, not missing the tears that stream down her face.
Crossing the threshold, I nod to the police man standing guard. “She’s all yours.”
To be honest, inside, I’m torn—torn between making Ava pay for all she has done, or letting her off the hook.
The problem with people like Ava is that they take, take, take.
If I had let her go free, she would not have changed, and there would be no justice.
After years of her torment, I deserved justice. So I got it.
Instead of taking me home, Jace takes me to his house. “This really isn’t necessary. I will be fine at home with Haley.”
“It is necessary, I almost lost you again. You were moments away from goodbye. From a goodbye I’m not ready for.
For all the things I haven’t said, for the love I have yet to give.
” He shifts in his seat, moving closer, reaching for my hand.
“I have loved you every day since I was eighteen; I just didn’t know it.
But I do now. I’m not leaving you, and you don’t get to leave me, not without hearing me out.
I’ve left once before with unspoken words, and I won’t do it again.
You’re—” Jace looks down as he rubs my hand.
“Too pretty to burn in a fire?” My smirk grows into a full-on smile when his eyes grow, and his brows fuse.
“You’re mine, Lilla Lane.” He kisses my hand and jumps out of the truck, leaving me and my emotions alone as he runs to my side.
Getting inside was easier than I thought. “Where is Zeus?” I slowly make my way to the couch.
“With Hayden, I didn’t leave your side, so he helped me out. Haley packed you some bags.” Of course she did. “I’ll get you set up, and then I probably need to shower.” I couldn’t agree more.
“If you're sleeping in bed with me, yes, you definitely need a shower.” I stand from the couch.
“First night sleeping over and you’re already inviting yourself to sleep in my bed?”
“I just thought— I can totally have the couch… I just—” He scoops me off the ground, carrying me down the hallway.
“It’s cute, I wouldn’t let you sleep anywhere else, baby.” His strong arms wrap around me, slowly laying me onto his bed. Pausing just before he pulls away completely, his eyes dance between mine and my lips.
“Kiss me.” Without hesitation, he leans in, grabbing my face, stealing my breath and my heart. Our lips glide with one another in sync, his tongue brushes against mine, pulling a whimper from me, and a deep groan from him. I pull away slowly, “Go shower, and come to bed.”
He kisses my forehead and heads to the bathroom, while I sink into his big, comfy bed and let the pillowtop hug me into a deep sleep.
Darkness drapes over the room, stealing each breath, suffocating me slowly.
Heat courses through my body, burning my skin, boiling my blood, baking me from the outside.
Each breath grows dense, a wheeze strangles my voice, and the screams for help fall silent.
SAVE ME, HELP! With each thought, my body urges me to move, but I’m immobile.
My weighted body is giving out, HELP ME! HELP!
“Lil, Lilla!” I hear it, my name, please, please, don’t let me die. “Lilla, come on, wake up!”
Jolting awake, sweat rolls down my forehead, my shirt is soaking wet, and my breath is jagged. “I—I can’t.” I grab my chest, determined to pump my heart myself and give myself the oxygen my body needs. “I—”
“Come on, baby. You're safe. I got you, you’re safe.” His hand slides under my back, lifting me from the now-soaked sheet. “Breathe, slow and easy. Feel my hand, ground yourself. You’re safe.” My breaths become less labored, the darkness falls away, taking the suffocating feeling with it.
“I…I don’t know what happened. I thought I was—suffocating.
” He rubs my back gently, up and down, soothing every thought that spiraled moments ago.
My chest tightens with each breath. With each slow, controlled breath, I remind myself I am safe; I am not burning alive.
I got out alive, and I will not die, but with every truth my mind tricks me.
The fear overtakes the truth, making my heart clash against my chest and reminding me of the heaviness and darkness.
All the memories parade around me in the darkness.
Reminiscing on the tortures of Ava, the leaving of my parents, and Jace.
The never-ending feeling of being alone, and wanting nothing more than to float with the sticks.
Not because I wanted to die, or maybe sometimes I did, but really, I wanted to feel something.