Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
MATT
I’m skating in aimless circles as the refs review a penalty when commotion in the stands catches my eye.
As a player, they teach you to tune it out—the fans, the noise, anything other than the game, really.
Staying focused at all times is important, not just when the puck is live but between plays too.
And normally that doesn’t pose a problem for me.
Especially at a game as important as this one.
But the commotion taking place is in the section my mom, dad, and Nate are in. The one Ellie is in. It’s taken a lot of effort not to continually check in since it’s her first game, but now my eyes are glued to all the fans standing, desperate to see what’s going on.
I can see arena staff are making their way over.
Shit, that’s usually not good. Movement on the bench draws my attention and I turn quickly to see Ed, our head of medical, listening to his radio and moving behind the bench to get to Coach.
They converse with a clipboard in front of them and then Coach looks out at the ice, searching for something.
His eyes land on mine and stop. They flick to the scoreboard and then back to Ed.
A sinking feeling takes hold in my gut.
Ed says something into the radio and starts to make his way down the bench to the tunnel.
I frantically look back at the stands where more staff have gathered.
I finally see Nate amidst the chaos and he looks uncharacteristically panicked.
I can see my mom and dad next to him now, but they’re crouched down? I don’t see Ellie.
My heart beats painfully fast in my chest as I feel the blood drain from my face. A cold dread sweeps my senses and some foreign feeling pushes its way past the rest. Fear.
I find myself racing to the boards and hopping over them to the bench without making a conscious decision to do so.
“Matt—” Coach Dan yells, but I’m already halfway down the tunnel.
I hear a chorus of my name being called from behind me as I force myself to pick up the pace. She’s fine. She has to be fine. Maybe she just got overwhelmed? I shouldn’t have pushed for her to come. I was so excited to have her here I didn’t think about how hard it might be for her.
Why would they call Ed though? And why was there so much commotion? Did she fall? Faint?
The questions start piling up, my mind frantic for some explanation. I finish my awkward skate-run to the locker room and grab my phone to dial my dad. Thankfully he picks up on the first ring.
“What happened?” I rasp as I rip off my jersey and my pads.
“I don’t know, Matty. She stood up and passed out. Your mom says she looked sick and was holding her stomach. They’re putting her on a stretcher because she’s still unconscious. They’re going to take her to General, they said.”
Unconscious. I suck in a breath. General is where Ellie works.
That’s good, it’s close. Untying and shucking my skates as fast as possible, I throw it all to the side, assuming someone will move it later and I can owe them one.
“Did she hurt herself when she fell? Did she wake up at all? Can Mom go with her? I don’t want her being alone. ”
“The people next to us caught her. I don’t think she woke up though, bud. And yeah, of course. She’s following them now. Are you going to drive or do you want Nate to? We’re parked in a visitor lot.”
“I’m driving.” My car’s closer.
“Okay, I’ll head to the player entrance to come with you. Nate’s going to grab his car and meet us at the hospital.”
I grunt and drop the phone from my shoulder to put my sneakers on. As I grab my bag and my hoodie, one of our assistant coaches, Hunter, appears next to me.
“Headed to the hospital,” I force out quickly before he can ask questions. I don’t stay long enough to see his reaction, but I do hear him telling me to text him if I need anything as I race out of the room to get to my car.
Thankfully my dad is already at the door so he holds it open and follows me to my car parked close by.
I unlock it and slide in. When I go to turn it on, my hand shakes so badly I can’t get the key to line up right.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, leaning my head against the seat back.
I need to be calm enough to drive the three minutes to the hospital.
“I’m sure she’s fine, Matt. She doesn’t have any medical conditions, right?”
“No,” I say on reflex. “I don’t think so, I mean.” Fuck. I would know if she did, right? You should definitely know if the person you’re in love with has a medical condition.
I feel a sharp pain pierce my chest at the realization I haven’t even told her that yet. Oh god, please let her be okay. I’ll fucking shout it from the rooftops if she is. Screw waiting for the right moment. What a stupid fucking idea, Matt.
My dad doesn’t say anything while I internally spiral, but he reaches over and grips my forearm in a comforting gesture.
It feels like there are tight bands wrapped around my chest, making it hard to breathe and hard to think.
I can’t even process reasons she could’ve collapsed.
Ellie would know—she’d be able to make a list and rank them by likelihood.
She’s so smart. And kind. And, Jesus, she’s already been through so much.
More than anyone should. I need her to be okay.
“Can you call Mom? See if they have any update?”
“Sure thing.”
I take a deep breath and open my eyes, starting the car successfully this time. She’s fine. She’s fine. She’s fine. I repeat it in my head until we get there, willing it to be true.
“I’ll park. Go ahead and I’ll find you,” my dad tells me.
I leave the car running and rush out to get into the emergency room. My mom didn’t end up having any information other than telling us they made it to the hospital and took Ellie “back.” She wasn’t allowed to go with her.
I stop in front of the desk and watch a scene play out I’ve seen what feels like millions of times.
The nurse’s eyes get wide as she opens her mouth.
Her Bears lanyard gives her away before anything that will come out of her mouth.
I’m just starting to cut her off when a matronly blonde nurse appears behind her.
“Here for Ellie?” she asks.
I could hug her. I nod frantically about eight times. Her sad smile sends a fresh wave of fear through me as she waves me to the side of the desk down a hallway.
“I’m going to put you in a private room until a doctor can come talk to you. We’ve got the game on in the general waiting room and the commotion has already caused a little stir,” she says.
She leads me into a small room with a few chairs and a two-person table with a vase of fake flowers. I text my mom the number I saw outside the room so she can find me.
“No TV in here, sorry,” the nurse needlessly apologizes.
Unless the TV can tell me what’s going on with Ellie, I don’t give a fuck. “Is she okay?” I ask for the first time, terror plain as day in my voice.
The nurse—I’ll get her name eventually—pats me on the arms. “I’m not sure, hon. I’ll have a doctor in as soon as I can, okay? Why don’t you take a seat.” She gestures to the chairs along the wall of the compact room.
I ignore her and begin pacing, wondering who I could call to get more information. I have to know someone with connections at this hospital. Other than Ellie. Ellie Ellie Ellie. I’ve never known panic like this. I just need to see her.
“Do you know if she’s… If she’s—” I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to slow my breathing so I can get the words out.
“Do you know if she’s, like, in a room or bed or, just…
do you know where she is?” My jumbled thoughts can’t quite seem to organize themselves as the alarms in my head continue to flash and blare.
The nurse, who I’m guessing is in her fifties, gives me a look of such motherly sympathy I wonder if I sound worse than I think.
“I don’t think I introduced myself before.
I work with Ellie here in the ED. I’m Maggie.
Love that girl to death. I’m not really supposed to share medical information with you, okay?
Because I’m not her doctor. But I know she’s getting triaged right now.
They need to find out why she collapsed and why she’s in and out of consciousness,” she finishes.
“Did she mention feeling sick to you or anything else earlier?”
I think back over the last few days. I don’t think she mentioned feeling sick? Then I remember the locker room incident.
“She threw up a couple of days ago. Wednesday, I think?” I tell her quickly. “But she felt fine after that. She thought maybe it was triggered from a bad smell.”
Maggie’s brow is furrowed. “Okay,” she says slowly. “I’ll make sure I let them know, all right? I’m going to go check in. I’ll try to have someone come talk to you as soon as possible.” She gives me a quick, mild smile before she leaves, closing the door quietly behind her.
I drop in one of the chairs and put my head in my hands. She’s going to be fine. It’s probably nothing serious.
No matter how much I repeat it, I can’t seem to make myself feel any better.