13. Party Roles #3
“Dominant and submissive hierarchy,” Cami says.
“Yes.”
Griffin leans back. “And this one I’m not in.”
“Correct,” Ronan says. “But you’re not outside it either.”
Griffin’s brow furrows.
Ronan closes the notebook.
Thank God.
“The hierarchy we discussed before was me, Micah, Dex, Cami. It describes how authority flows when we’ve agreed we’re in a power-exchange context, not outside of it.”
Cami looks at him. “Meaning you don’t get to order me around because you’re at the top.”
“Correct.”
Dex sighs dramatically. “Tragic.”
“You, specifically, should be grateful,” Ronan warns.
“I think you’re underestimating me, Dungeon Daddy.”
Ronan ignores him and looks at Griffin as he continues. “If we’re sitting here watching television, I don’t outrank anyone.”
“Thank fuck,” Griffin says.
“If we’re in a scene where we’ve agreed I’m leading, then I do.”
Griffin nods.
“But if it’s not an actual scene where that has been agreed upon, then I don’t hold that authority.” He pauses. “And if you’re not fully participating in that power exchange, I have no authority over you.”
“Also good,” Griffin replies.
“But,” Ronan adds, “you still aren’t invisible.”
Something in Griffin’s expression changes.
“We negotiate what your role is before you participate. Sometimes in more complex ways than others. Like last night. I led for a few minutes because that was what we agreed on. Then you took more control because it made sense, and everyone was comfortable with it.”
Griffin nods slowly.
“You didn’t become my submissive. I didn’t become yours. You didn’t suddenly enter the hierarchy. We agreed on that before we went into the situation.”
“Context,” I say.
“Exactly.”
Cami glances at Dex. “And what happens if I want to be the one in charge with him?”
Dex’s grin is immediate.
Ronan looks between them. “Then you’re in charge of Dex—if he consents to it.”
Cami blinks. “Even though he’s technically above me?”
“There is no technically,” Ronan says. “Not if the two of you negotiated something different.”
I nod. “The hierarchy gives us a default setting when multiple dynamics overlap. It doesn’t erase individual dynamics or that it can’t be changed depending on circumstances.”
“So if Ronan isn’t there, you generally lead,” Cami says to me.
“Yeah.”
“And Dex generally follows you,” she adds.
“With tremendous grace and obedience,” Dex deadpans.
I stare at him.
Cami laughs. “And sometimes I’m submissive to Dex, but not usually.”
“Because you’re a bigger brat than me, you’re just not as obvious,” Dex says as he nudges her with his elbow.
She narrows her eyes at him. “But if Dex and I decide I’m tying him up and bossing him around—”
“Then God help us all,” Griffin mutters.
“—he’s submitting to me.”
“Yes,” Ronan replies.
She thinks about that. “So the arrow can change directions.”
“The whole fucking chart can change,” I tell her. “As long as everyone involved knows it changed and agreed to it.”
Ronan points at me. “That.”
Dex looks scandalized. “Did Micah just out-Ronan Ronan?”
“Don’t make me regret it.”
But I realize Griffin is very quiet.
I look at him. “What’s bothering you?”
“Nothing.”
We all stare at him.
He sighs.
“Fine. Not bothering me. I’m still just figuring out where that leaves me.”
There it is—the exact reason I pushed Ronan on the porch.
Ronan starts to speak.
I shake my head slightly.
Let Griffin finish.
“I’m good not being anybody’s submissive. And I don’t need to be in charge of anybody.” He glances at Cami. “Except apparently I’ve discovered some things about myself that we’re all going to pretend didn’t happen last night.”
Cami beams. “We are absolutely not pretending.”
His ears turn red.
“But if you four have this whole structure…” He gestures vaguely between us. “I don’t want to be the guy standing outside waiting for somebody to tell me when I’m allowed in.”
“You aren’t,” Cami says immediately.
“I know that, but—”
“No.” She shifts even closer to him. “I mean you aren’t. You’re not outside anything.”
Ronan nods. “The D/s hierarchy doesn’t determine membership in the polycule.”
Dex points between Griffin and the rest of us. “We’re metamours.”
Griffin closes his eyes. “I’m already sick of that word.”
“You’ll learn to love it.”
“I won’t.”
I laugh.
“What Ronan means,” I say, “is that you don’t need a rank because you aren’t asking for one.”
Griffin looks at me.
“You don’t submit to Ronan. Ronan doesn’t submit to you. But you can still play alongside him. You can take control with Cami when that’s what you’ve all agreed to.”
“And if something doesn’t feel right,” Ronan adds, “you say so. Same as anyone else.”
Griffin nods. “Okay.”
Cami looks around the room. “So we’re hierarchical both in relationships and power.”
“Yes,” Ronan and I say in unison.
She wrinkles her nose again. “Still sounds kind of evil.”
Dex nods. “Very dystopian.”
“It’s descriptive, not aspirational,” I tell them. That gets a laugh. “But yeah. I think we are.”
I look at Dex, then the rest of them. “We just aren’t using hierarchy to decide who deserves the most love.”
The room is quiet for a few breaths.