29. Turn Order Reversed #3
Her mouth stays on mine as she keeps moving.
The pressure builds fast.
Too fast.
“Cami.”
She pulls back just enough to look at me. “What?”
I'm not asking her to stop.
Not even close.
“Fuck.”
Her smile is small and confident. “Come for me.”
That shouldn't do what it does.
But, apparently, tonight is full of discoveries.
My entire body locks.
I pull hard enough against the belt that the headboard shifts against the wall.
Then everything breaks at once.
Cami rides me through it, her hands on my chest, my name leaving her mouth while I swear into hers.
And through all of it, my hands stay exactly where she put them.
She waits until my breathing has mostly returned to normal before she releases me.
The second my wrists are free, I flex my hands.
Cami checks them. Fingers smoothing over the skin like she's looking for evidence she did something wrong.
“You okay?”
“I'm fine.”
“No numbness?”
“No.”
“Pain?”
“No.”
She looks up, and I catch her waist.
Her eyes widen.
“Griffin—”
Then she's under me.
I flip her onto her back and catch both wrists in one hand, pinning them over her head.
A startled laugh leaves her.
I settle between her thighs.
Not to fuck her.
Just holding her there while I kiss her hard enough that whatever smart comment she had disappears against my mouth.
When I finally pull away, she's breathless.
Her smile is enormous. “There’s my husband.”
I narrow my eyes and tighten my hand around her wrists.
She inhales sharply.
I kiss her again, then let her wrists go.
She immediately wraps both arms around my neck.
I roll us onto our sides.
For a minute, neither of us says anything.
Her fingertips trace the back of my neck while mine move lazily along her hip.
Eventually, she asks, “So?”
“So?”
She pinches my side.
I laugh.
“Asshole.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Did you hate it?”
“No.”
“Did you like it?”
I think before answering.
Cami notices.
“It was strange.”
“Good strange?”
“Mostly.”
Her fingers stop moving.
I look at her. “The first time I pulled and couldn't move my hands, every part of my body told me to get out.”
Concern crosses her face.
“But I didn't actually want out.”
“Okay.”
“I just… reacted.”
She nods slowly.
“And then I looked at you.”
Something in her face softens. “And?”
“And I knew I was fine.”
Her thumb brushes the back of my neck.
I try to put the rest of it into words. “I didn't realize how much I'm always doing something during sex.”
A tiny smile. “You are very hands-on.”
“Apparently.”
“It's one of your better qualities.”
I kiss her forehead.
“But once I stopped fighting the restraints…” I trail off. There isn't a perfect way to explain it. “I didn't have to take care of anything.”
Cami goes very still.
“You were okay. I was okay. You knew what you wanted.” I shrug slightly. “I just got to feel it.”
Her eyes search mine. “That was nice?”
“Yeah.”
The admission feels more vulnerable than it should.
Maybe because I didn’t know how much I needed that.
Not making decisions.
Not being useful.
Not being the person responsible for what happens next.
Just being… pleased.
I can see Cami understand it.
“I really liked it too,” she admits quietly.
I smile. “I noticed.”
She smacks my chest. “Don't.”
“You came twice before deciding I deserved anything.”
Her cheeks turn pink. “Okay, first of all—”
I laugh.
She glares.
Then her expression changes. “I don't know what that means.”
“What?”
“That I liked… that.”
I study her.
This feels like one of those moments where everybody else in the house would have a theory.
Ronan would probably have terminology.
Dex would definitely have commentary.
Micah would notice something neither of us has yet.
I don't think she needs any of that right now.
“It doesn't have to mean anything.”
Her brows pull together. “No?”
“No.”
I brush the hair away from her face. “You liked tying me up and using me to get yourself off.”
Her cheeks get redder. “You make it sound very classy.”
“I took you to a steakhouse first.”
She laughs.
I smile. “We can figure out what it means later.”
Her hand settles flat against my chest. “You'd do it again?”
I don't even need to think that time. “Yes.”
Her eyebrows rise. “Really?”
“Don't look so surprised.”
“You are possibly the most control-freak alpha-male person I've ever met.”
“Ronan lives here too.”
“Different flavor.”
Fair.
I pull her closer. “I'm not handing you control of the ambulance.”
“Damn.”
“Or our taxes.”
“I don't want the taxes.”
“Good.”
“But this?”
Her eyes move briefly toward the belt abandoned near the bed.
Then back to me.
I follow the look.
“Yeah.” I kiss her forehead. “This I can give you sometimes.”
Her smile is small but real.
I think about how strange that sentence would have sounded to me a year ago.
Giving up control.
I would have assumed that meant losing something.
Tonight it didn't feel like losing anything. It felt like knowing exactly who I trusted enough not to need it.
Cami tucks her head beneath my chin, and my hands settle around her.
And after spending part of the night unable to touch her at all, I appreciate exactly how good that feels.