55. Aid Another #3
He asks me one more time too.
Everybody answers.
Tired.
Green.
Micah settles beside Dex, and within minutes the three of them start forming their own smaller aftercare cluster.
Dex leans heavily into Micah.
Micah's hand moves over his back.
Ronan gives Dex water, then checks something on Micah's face before resting his fingertips briefly against the side of his neck.
Micah leans into it.
Just slightly.
Ronan kisses his temple.
Dex hands Ronan something to eat with a muttered, “You too, asshole.”
Ronan actually takes it.
I watch the three of them.
Cami settles heavier against me.
My hand moves slowly over her stomach under the blanket.
She is warm.
Soft.
Breathing normally.
Good.
Ronan looks over.
Our eyes meet.
“Thank you.”
His brow tightens slightly. “You don't have to thank me.”
“I know.”
He starts to look away.
“Ronan.”
His eyes come back to mine.
“I mean it.”
The words catch a little lower in my chest than I expect.
I could explain.
That would probably ruin it.
I'm not thanking him because the sex was good, although it very fucking much was.
I'm thanking him because I couldn't move tonight and never once felt like I needed to.
Because when Cami was suspended, I trusted him to know where the line was.
Because when Micah had her after, I trusted him too.
Because apparently somewhere in all of this, the part of me that believed loving people meant being personally responsible for keeping everyone safe learned how to share the job.
Ronan studies me for a moment.
Then he nods.
“I know.”
Better answer.
Eventually Micah stands and pulls Dex up with him.
Dex groans dramatically.
“You have got to stop making old-man noises,” Micah tells him.
“I have been through things.”
“So has everyone else.”
“Not in my ass.”
Ronan walks past him toward the stairs. “That is objectively false.”
Cami starts laughing again.
Dex stares after him. “I hate that you're right.”
The three of them head upstairs together.
Probably to Ronan's room.
No one announces it.
They simply move in the direction that makes sense.
I look down at Cami.
Her eyes are almost closed.
“You ready for bed?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Words.”
She opens one eye. “Traitor.”
“Answer.”
“I can walk.”
I stand.
Then pick her up.
She squeaks and grabs my shoulders. “Griffin.”
“What?”
“There are two flights of stairs.”
“I know where your bedroom is.”
“You do not have to carry me.”
“I know.”
She wraps her arms around my neck anyway.
“You're such a show-off.”
“You married me.”
“That was for insurance.”
“Still legally binding.”
She laughs against my shoulder as I start upstairs.
“Plus, do you know what kind of tests I have to pass for work?”
By the second flight, my thighs are making it very clear that carrying an adult woman after everything else tonight was not necessarily the most intelligent choice I've ever made.
I am also far too committed to put her down now.
Cami lifts her head.
“You regretting this?”
“No.”
“Your breathing says otherwise.”
“Shut up.”
She grins and kisses my neck.
Worth it.
By the time I get her into her room, my heart rate has gone up enough that I probably qualify as my own cardio workout.
I lower her onto the bed.
She sinks into the mattress with a happy sound.
I pull out my phone.
Her eyes narrow.
“Seriously?”
“One more check.”
“My blood sugar has been fine all night.”
“I know.”
“That means it's probably still fine.”
“That is not how time works.”
She rolls her eyes.
I wait for the Dexcom to load.
Steady.
Good.
I set water on the nightstand anyway.
Cami watches me with sleepy eyes while I strip off the rest of whatever clothing I managed to put back on downstairs.
“Griffin?”
“Yeah?”
“You were really okay?”
I stop.
Not because I don't know.
Because I know exactly what she's asking.
“With all of it?”
I climb into bed beside her.
“Yeah.”
She studies my face.
“The restraint?”
“Yeah.”
“The guys?”
“Yes.”
“Watching me with them?”
I pull her into my chest.
“All of it.”
Her hand slides over my ribs.
I kiss her forehead. “Some of it was weird.”
She smiles.
“Good weird?”
“Very good weird.”
“Would you do it again?”
I think about the table.
About the moment both my hands were unavailable, and Micah had Cami safely against his chest.
About Ronan behind all of them.
About feeling movement reach me through three other bodies.
About Cami riding me at the end while I physically couldn't take control away from her.
Something warm settles low in my stomach despite the fact that I'm exhausted.
“Ask me tomorrow.”
She laughs. “Coward.”
“Go to sleep.”
“Yes, husband.”
A few seconds later, her breathing begins to even out.
I stay awake beside her for a while.
My hand rests over her waist.
Her Dexcom graph is fine.
The house is quiet.
And for once, I don't lie there cataloging everything that could need me before morning.
Ronan has Micah and Dex.
Cami is here.
Everybody knows how to take care of themselves.
Everybody knows how to take care of each other.
I close my eyes.
I don't need to be the only one holding the whole thing up.
That might be the strangest thing I learned tonight.
It might also be the best.