58. Critical Nineteen #3
Ronan stills for one tiny beat before his arms fold around her. Not tentative. Not anymore. His cheek rests briefly against the top of her head.
Then Dex is there, because Dex has never allowed tenderness to happen without inserting himself physically into it.
Cami points at his pants.
“Pull those up first.”
“Bossy.”
“DEX.”
He laughs and fixes himself.
Then she hugs him too, and he squeezes her so hard her feet almost leave the floor.
“You lied to me.”
“I did.”
“You said jewelry.”
“I panicked.”
“You couldn’t think of literally anything else?”
“I was under pressure.”
Finally, she turns to me.
The room feels different when she does, quieter in a way that may exist only in my head.
Her eyes drop to my forearm.
Her thumb moves carefully beside the bandage.
“You gave me mine.”
The memory hits fast enough that I can almost smell disinfectant and mint gum.
“Yeah.”
Her gaze comes back to mine.
“And now you have it.”
“All of us do, Princess.”
Her lower lip trembles.
I fucking hate that.
I love it.
She looks at Griffin, then Ronan, then Dex before coming back to me.
Then she hooks her fingers under the hem of the oversized shirt and shifts the waistband of her shorts just enough to expose her right hip.
Her tattoo.
Older now. Settled into her skin.
Five nineteens in one room.
Something inside me gives—not breaking so much as loosening, like a knot I didn’t realize I was still carrying finally lets go.
Cami looks down at all of us.
“Twenty feels fake,” she whispers.
Nobody says anything.
Her eyes find mine again.
“Nineteen means you still had to fight for the last inch.”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
She presses her lips together, then points at all four of us.
“Fuck all of you.”
Dex sniffs. “That’s the nicest thing she’s ever said to us.”
Cami launches herself into me.
I catch her, her arms locking around my neck while mine close around her waist. Her face presses against my shoulder, and I can feel her trying not to cry harder because makeup and wedding and photographs and all the shit waiting on the other side of that door.
I don’t tell her not to.
I just hold her.
A second later, another arm wraps around us.
Dex.
Then Griffin.
Ronan waits exactly long enough to know where everyone is before stepping into the mess.
For one ridiculous minute, we’re five adults standing in a bridal suite in some kind of uneven group hug while Cami’s brother watches us like he’s trying very hard not to become emotional.
Her mother cracks open the adjoining door.
“Okay,” she says quietly. “Beautiful. Now get out so we can put her dress on.”
Dex wipes beneath one eye.
“I wasn’t crying.”
Clay opens the outer door. “Sure.”
“Allergies.”
“In January?”
“Seasonal trauma.”
Clay shoves him into the hall.
I let Cami go last.
Her fingers linger around my wrist, just beneath the nineteen.
Then the door closes between us.
We don’t see the dress until she walks down the aisle.
That ends up being the right choice.
When the doors open, everything in the room changes.
Griffin stops breathing.
Actually stops.
I hear it beside me.
I’m standing with him and Ronan while, across the aisle, Clay waits near the front after finishing whatever last Man of Honor duties Cami assigned him. Dex stands beside Clay in a suit he has somehow managed to wear correctly.
For once.
Cami’s father walks her toward us.
Toward Griffin.
But her eyes move.
That’s what gets me.
She looks at Griffin first.
Of course she does.
Then me.
Ronan.
Dex.
One at a time.
No one gets skipped.
No one gets hidden.
Her smile shakes.
So does mine.
Cami's sister sent her well wishes, but didn't make it today.
Griffin’s brother and sister, Luke and Ellie, are in the front row. Ellie already has a tissue pressed under one eye. Luke has an arm stretched along the back of her chair, smiling at Griffin in a way that makes it obvious he knows exactly how hard-won this moment is.
Cami’s mom is crying openly now.
Clay absolutely is too, even though he’ll deny it later.
And Dex?
Dex is done.
There are tears rolling straight down his face, and he doesn’t even bother pretending otherwise.
I glance at Ronan. His jaw is tight, eyes wet behind his glasses.
Then I look at Griffin.
Fuck.
I’ve known this man for years. I’ve seen him scared, angry, burned out, protective. I’ve seen him after bad calls, family fights, and nights where the worst thing he could imagine happened anyway. I’ve seen him love Cami in a thousand practical ways.
I’ve never seen his face like this.
Like every wall inside him has simply fallen down.
Cami reaches the front.
Her father kisses her cheek.
Then, instead of handing her off like some kind of transfer of ownership, he hugs Griffin too.
It’s awkward.
Unexpected.
Real.
When he sits down, Clay steps forward long enough to straighten one tiny piece of Cami’s dress. She whispers something to him. He laughs.
Then he takes his place beside Dex.
The ceremony starts.
I don’t remember all of it afterward.
I remember pieces.
Griffin rubbing his thumb over Cami’s knuckles.
Cami occasionally looking down like she can’t quite believe she’s standing here.
Dex’s shoulders shaking once when the officiant talks about choosing one another over and over.
Ronan taking off his glasses briefly and pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose.
Nobody in this room pretending Griffin and Cami’s first wedding didn’t count.
That part matters.
They were married then.
They chose each other then.
This isn’t replacing it.
It’s adding witnesses to something that was already real.
When it comes time for vows, Griffin goes first.
He unfolds a piece of paper.
Cami immediately smiles.
“You wrote yours down?”
He looks at her. “Of course I wrote mine down.”
A soft laugh moves through the room.
Griffin glances at the page once.
Then he folds it again.
Doesn’t read it.
“I married you the first time because I could help you.”
Cami’s mouth trembles.
Griffin’s voice stays steady, but only barely.
“And I know that sounds like me, because it is. You had a problem, I had a way to fix it, so I did.”
A few people laugh softly.
Cami wipes beneath one eye.
“But I want to make one thing very clear before I say anything else today.”
His thumb moves over the back of her hand.
“I do not regret that wedding.”
The room stills.
“Not for one second. I don’t regret why we did it.
I don’t regret signing those papers before either of us knew exactly what the hell we were becoming.
If I could go back knowing everything I know now, I would still do it.
I’d still marry you in that house. I’d still put you on my insurance.
I’d still choose you before I understood that choosing you was going to change my whole life. ”
Cami’s tears spill.
His do too.
“The only thing I regret is that I didn’t understand yet how much more you were going to become to me.”
Fuck.
Dex looks down.
Griffin takes a breath.
“Somewhere along the way, you taught me something I should’ve learned a long time ago. Love isn’t a problem to solve.”
His eyes flick briefly toward us.
“It isn’t protecting somebody so hard they never get to make their own choices. It isn’t making yourself responsible for every bad thing that could happen, and it sure as hell isn’t being the only person somebody needs.”
Ronan lowers his eyes.
Dex takes a shaky breath.
Griffin looks back at Cami.
“You taught me that I can be part of someone’s safety without trying to build the whole shelter myself. You taught me that loving you means loving the whole truth of your life, not only the pieces with my name on them.”
His voice catches.
He stops and breathes before reaching up to wipe a tear from Cami’s cheek.
“I’d marry you for health insurance again tomorrow.”
Cami laughs through her tears. “So romantic.”
“I know.”
Griffin smiles.
“But I’m grateful that today isn’t because you need something I can give you. Today I get to stand here and marry you because I love you. Because you’re my best friend. Because you make my life louder and stranger and better.”
His voice catches again.
This time it takes him longer.
“I promise to keep choosing you without trying to own the choice. I promise to tell you when I’m scared instead of pretending I’m angry. I promise to trust the people you trust.”
His eyes move toward us again.
This time they stay there.
Ronan’s shoulders go rigid.
Dex presses his lips together.
I can’t fucking breathe.
“And I promise that if you ever need me to marry you a third time, we’re doing it somewhere with an open bar.”
Cami laughs.
The room does too.
He smiles at her.
“I love you, Cami.”
Her answer comes instantly.
“I love you too.”
Then it’s her turn.
She doesn’t have paper.
She takes both of Griffin’s hands and breathes in. “So.”
A few people laugh already.
She sniffles.
“I used to think loving somebody meant sacrificing something.”
That quiets the room.