Chapter 19 Moving On #2
The waiter arrives with our drinks and takes our orders before Grayson answers.
“Poppy, I’ve been in the military for twelve years with no expenses whatsoever, no family, and no time to waste money on stupid shit. The only thing I’ve done with it is learn how to invest it and make more of it.” Grayson smirks and swigs his beer.
“Oh, well, that’s good,” I say, stunned at the revelation that he’s done so well for himself.
I wasn’t expecting him to have anything to his name after the military, but I obviously didn’t give it much thought.
“Let me know what you’re thinking, and I’ll see what’s out there.
Don’t be surprised if it takes longer than it took to find your truck, though. ” I smirk back at him.
The rest of dinner goes better than expected.
Matt and Grayson hit it off remarkably, almost making me feel like a third wheel.
Grayson tells us about wanting to start a business with a few of his SEAL buddies, but he’s not sure exactly what yet.
He’s got some great ideas, though, and the three of us have fun brainstorming.
All in all, dinner is a perfect distraction—until it isn’t.
When I walk in my front door at the end of the night, I’m right back where I started the day he left. It may be the couple of drinks I had or just the long week, but either way, as soon as my head hits the pillow, the tears flow heavily.
Braden
It’s been a long week, and I’m a fucking wreck.
It feels like I’m trapped in an endless pursuit.
I’ve texted, called, sent two letters, and I’m no closer to getting her back than the day I left.
Short of stalking and showing up on her doorstep, I’m out of options.
I feel like shit, I look like shit, and if it weren’t for the fact that it’s Monday, I’d smell like shit.
As it is, I’m freshly showered, shaved, and styled. I’m on autopilot these days, and the motions come naturally. My mind, however, is constantly fixated on the one thing I’ve managed to screw up completely. Never in my life have I fucked up this bad. And usually when I do, I can fix it.
It’s one of those rare situations where I have no solution, and I’ve exhausted my brain trying to find one. It must show because as I walk toward my office, Warren glances up before following me inside and shutting the door.
He flops down in front of my desk. “I was hoping you’d be somewhat coherent after the weekend, but it’s obviously intervention time.
What’s it gonna take to have you pull your head out of your ass and focus?
You may have earned your partner status, but if you keep this up, you’ll lose it just as fast.”
“It’s almost Christmas. Everyone’s too busy preparing for the holidays to notice. I’ll be fine.” I wave my hand in the air, brushing him off. My job is the last thing I’m worried about right now.
“Well, you’re not fine now, and we’ve got a lot of shit to do before you leave next week.”
The trip to Florida for the holidays with my mom and stepfamily is weighing me down. It’s the last thing I want to do while the situation with Poppy is unresolved, but I’ve already committed and can’t cancel the one time of year I visit.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll pull my shit together.”
“You better, or I’ll return your Christmas present,” he says straight-faced.
I laugh, which feels foreign since it’s been so long.
“I’m serious.” He chuckles and makes his way to the door. “You love presents, so do what it takes to get back on track,” he calls over his shoulder on the way out.
The minute the door shuts, an idea comes to mind, and I open to look when the sequel to the first book Poppy and I read together on the plane is due to be released.
Dammit, not until mid-January. Well, it’s better than months from now, and there’s a chance she still won’t be talking to me by then, which means it’s worth a shot.
I looked up the author’s website to contact her, and after sending an email that hopefully doesn’t end up being discarded, I’m feeling more optimistic than I have in days.
If I don’t hear back within a week, I’ll have Justin track her down.
While this new strategy doesn’t guarantee forgiveness, it might bring a smile to Poppy’s face.
That’s the least I can do at this point.
With a plan in place, I was finally able to concentrate on work and make sure everything was in order for Warren while away.
I sent two more letters to Poppy before flying to my mom’s and another from her house.
With a Florida postmark, I was worried it might stir the pot, but if I’m working on transparency, it is what it is.
Luckily, the author responded enthusiastically, and the wheels are set in motion for a special delivery in a couple more weeks. I’d love it to be sooner, but beggars can’t be choosers. I’m just glad she had a soft spot for me and was willing to fulfill my request.
The holiday at my mom’s went well and ended with promises to visit more. But with the distance and both of us settled in our own lives, the chances aren’t likely. She hasn’t come here since she remarried, and although I’m thrilled she’s being taken care of, I’m not altogether fond of her husband.
Hence, I’m relieved to be back home, and about to meet up with the group for New Year’s Eve. The only thing missing is Poppy, who hasn’t left my mind for weeks now. It pains me to think she’s spending New Year’s with someone else, a date perhaps, which tears me apart to consider.
Every day, I wonder if she’s read my letters while deep down knowing she hasn’t. My plan is to send two more per week until my peace offering arrives and then decide what to do from there—most likely another trip to Bozeman. I’ve given her space, but she’ll have to face me eventually.
Walking into the luxurious party at Sebastian and Eli’s club, I’m ushered to the VIP area. The gang’s all here, and I’m greeted with a glass of champagne from Jackson.
“Hey, buddy. Happy New Year. No date?” he asks, handing it over.
“Nope. The only woman I want is a thousand miles away.”
“Still going, huh? I was wondering if you’d stick this out or if it was fleeting,” Eli comments.
“It’s not. I’ll win her back somehow.”
“You should sign up for a dating app under a fake profile and talk to her that way. Oh wait, that’s what got you into this mess.” Cici butts in, her words slightly slurred.
“Sorry. You let this girl loose for one night, and she goes crazy.” Eli swings his arm over her shoulders and pulls her into his side.
Apparently, Cici’s parents are watching Abby for the night. It’s the first time the new mom has been out, and she won't last long by the looks of it. Lily and Sebastian stayed home, not ready to leave their newborn behind.
“Hey, I’m not the crazy one, he is.” Cici points to me. “He’s the one who bamboozled my friend into falling in love with him.”
“What?” I ask her, shocked at the use of the word love. That wasn’t even on the radar as far as I knew. It was hard enough trying to convince her to be exclusive.
“You heard me. You bamboozled her,” Cici slurs again.
“You said she was falling in love with me. Did she say that?”
“What do you care?”
“Because dammit, I’m already in love with her, and I need to know if she might feel the same way.”
Eyes go wide all around. “You love her?” Cici asks, tearing up.
“Oh boy, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Eli says.
Jackson and Mia chuckle, watching from the side.
“Nooo. It’s not even midnight,” she whines, not answering my question.
“How about you switch to water for a while then?” Eli suggests.
“Fine. Mia, let’s go hunt down some water.” Cici grabs Mia’s arm and drags her away as Mia gives Eli a thumbs-up and a smile over her shoulder.
“What the hell, man, why haven’t you said anything?” Jackson asks right away.
“Fuck… I didn’t know until you did,” I respond, dumbfounded.
The moment Cici said the word, the light came on, and I recognized it.
It’s an intense, desperate feeling like I can’t breathe without her.
I’ve been miserable since we split, simply going through the motions.
But with this newfound clarity, I have a renewed sense of purpose.
If it’s possible she feels a sliver of what I do, then I won’t stop until she’s mine.
Eli looks at me sympathetically. “Well, shit. Have you tried anything after going to her parents’ that day?”
“I’ve written her letters.”
“That’s it? You haven’t sent her flowers?” Jackson asks, astonished.
“Or gifts?” adds Eli.
“No. I thought the letters would mean more. She hasn’t let me explain yet,” I say in defense, before hanging my head in shame. I should have sent flowers, dammit.
Jackson rests his hand on my shoulder, speaking plainly. “Braden, let’s be honest, man. What’s to explain? You fucked up. The best you can do is ask forgiveness for being a complete idiot.”
I shrug his hand off. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy. And you wonder why I haven’t said anything.”
Jackson goes to respond, but Eli interjects. “We feel for you, man, but you got yourself into this mess, and you’ll dig yourself out. But you’d better do more than a few letters. What’s your next move?”
I tell them my plan and add, “You’re probably right about the flowers, though, I’ll add some to the mix. I’m hoping she’ll talk to me after the books arrive.”
“Sounds weak, dude. Maybe another trip to Bozeman is in order,” Jackson suggests.
“Yeah, I’ve thought of that. I think it’s too soon. I’ll gauge her reaction and then go.”
“You sure it’s wise to wait that long? It’s already been a month, and the longer it goes, the harder it’ll be to get her back. Jackson and I are proof of that,” Eli chuckles, along with Jackson uttering, “No shit.”
“Then you’ll both understand that when I say I’ll get her back, I will—no matter how hard or long it takes. But I need to do it right and then pray to God it isn’t too late.”