17. Seventeen
She’s fidgeting too much, and she looks like she’s about ready to crawl out of her skin. I would think she’d be more accustomed to sitting around, but I guess the fact that we sprung her from that place really changed up her need for stimulation.
No.
I’m not going to think about the ways I can stimulate her.
What the hell is she doing to me? It feels like there’s a section of my brain now fully dedicated to thinking about her and what kind of noises she’d make if I ever got inside of her. Of course, her literally moaning about the food I made isn’t helping. Before that I didn’t even have anything to base those fantasies on, and now I’m having to actively distract myself from the memory of the low throaty sound.
Fuck, the noises she would make when I – Stop.
I grind the heels of my hands against my eyes in an effort to physically force my thoughts into submission. I need to focus. I’ve been trying to read through some briefs covering previous jobs we’ve worked, but her wriggling around like that on the couch is pulling my attention away constantly.
I set down the file and look over at her, completely unsurprised to see she’s already looking at me, staring intently as if she’s trying to beam some sort of telepathic message into my mind.
“Bored?” I ask, giving her my full attention.
“Desperately,” she groans, leaning forward and resting her chin in her hands. “Do you guys have anything to do out here?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, can we take a walk or something?”
A walk. The simplicity of her request reminds me just how removed from the world she was. She doesn’t want a phone, or a video game, she wants to wander around outside. My chest squeezes thinking about how long she went without having access to fresh air or felt the sunlight on her too-pale skin.
Her face is set with a pleading pout, and I’m powerless to deny her something so simple. I release a breath through my nose, settling my decision to take her somewhere I hope she’ll treasure.
“Go grab your boots; we’ll take a walk.”
Her eyes light up like I just told her I was going to take her to Disneyland, and I have a sinking feeling I would do just about anything to earn that look again.
Within minutes she’s running back down the stairs with her boots tied securely and a broad grin on her face. I don’t mean to, but I shake my head at the sight, she’s so eager, so innocent despite everything she’s been through. I hope she’ll be able to maintain that part of herself by the time she’s off on her own.
The thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and I refuse to dwell on it. I slap my hands on my thighs and stand up, ready to show her the only place I have that’s truly my own.
Her height is a definite disadvantage to how well she’s able to pass through the woods, and I have to mind my pace more than I would like to so I can make sure I don’t accidentally leave her behind. The landmarks to the river aren’t clear, and there’s no definitive pathway through the vegetation, but I could find my way blindfolded if I needed to.I know this route as well as I know my own mind.
“Where are we going?” Her low voice floats over to me, unhindered by the peaceful silence around us.
“It’s a secret.”
I’m not being coy when I say it. This place is just mine, and I’ll be damned before I let Ray get his hands on it.
She manages to work her way through the brush gracefully, and I’m somewhat surprised to see she hasn’t gotten caught up in anything yet, given the state of her the last time she came out of the woods.
I look back to find her trudging along right behind me, her cheeks slightly pink from the exertion of the hike. When she tilts her head up to look at me, I can’t stop the fantasy from forming. Fantasy mixed with memory, I guess. Madeline in my clothes, slung over my shoulder rather than Dane’s. I don’t know where we’re going, or where we’ve come from, but hell, I love it. The weight of her pressed against me, the feel of her skin beneath my fingers. I stifle a groan, continuing to push through the bushes, and force my focus on the path ahead of us.
About a mile away from the house, we finally reach our destination. A river runs through the woods and here it widens out quickly, slowing the current and forming a perfect swimming hole.
“Wow,” she exhales, not adding anything else. I wouldn’t mind if she did; I like her voice, even if it cuts through the peaceful quiet I love about this place.
About ten feet from the water there’s a downed log I like to sit on and enjoy my time. The only sounds surrounding me are that of the water gently passing by and the animals that make this forest their home. The frogs, birds, the occasional fox, and so many other small noises form a perfect harmony out here.
“Can we swim?” Her voice pulls my attention back towards her.
“It won’t be warm enough until later in the year.”
“I’ve been frozen to death, Silas. I’m okay with some chilly water.”
She fixes me with those same pleading eyes, and I relent immediately, nodding at her to go ahead. She practically jumps with excitement and starts to unlace the heavy boots I got for her.
“The guys should be back in about an hour, so we only have a little bit of time.”
“Any time is enough time for me. I haven’t gone swimming since I was a kid!” She’s absolutely giddy, struggling to pull the boots off in her urgency.
She’ll probably hurt herself if I don’t step in, so I kneel down and help her pull them off. The weight of her hand on my shoulder makes my chest squeeze and I’m fighting the sudden urge to kiss it, which would be a terrible, very bad idea.
Only seconds after I get the second boot off her foot, Madeline’s yanking her tank top over her head, leaving the sports bra on, and pulling her cargo pants down.
Great. Now we’re alone. In the woods. And she’s in her underwear.
I avert my eyes, careful not to look like I’m panting after her. Because I’m not. She’s here to help us with a job, then she’s on her way. Nothing more.
She takes the first step into the water and looks back, her eyes wide in shock.
“I told you it was going to be cold.”
She screws her face up like she wants to stick her tongue out at me and wades further in, the water now caressing her torso. She turns towards me one more time and flashes me a smile before she dunks herself fully under, and I definitely don’t notice the way her nipples peak and push at the fabric of her bra.
She alternates between wading and floating, disappearing under the water before popping up across the eddy with a huge smile on her face, before swimming back up-stream to where I am, standing up with her fists planted on her hips.
“Well? Aren’t you going to join me?”
No, because I can’t really stand up right now. Not without showing you more than you’ve bargained for on this walk, Madeline.
“Maybe in a minute.”
“Whatever. I’ll just have fun all by myself.”
Not helping.
I try to think of anything that will get me to chill out, but every thought twists into a new fantasy with Madeline at the center of it. Until the image of her being thrown into the back of the van crashes through my mind. The brutalized state of her. The way her body trembled as she continued to lose blood. Now instead of rock hard, I’m furious. Filled with the urge to slowly and gleefully kill whoever the fuck that John guy is, to shred into him just as thoroughly as those dogs ripped through her.
I stand, no longer worried about an erection, and tug my shirt off.
She’s beaming like she’s just found the co-conspirator she’s been waiting for and that soothes me. Even if it’s just a little. She’s here, all in one piece in front of me.
I kick off my pants and stick my feet into the current. The water sets off goosebumps immediately and I have to convince myself not to bitch out after the first touch. She undersold it, it’s fucking freezing.
My grimace must be clear on my face because she shouts, “Aw, come on, big guy! It’s not that bad!”
Mid-mock she takes a long, unhurried scan of my body, her eyes alight with curiosity. She probably hasn’t seen many men in their underwear, so it’s not entirely a surprise, but my ego inflates anyway.
Bolstered by her attention, I take two big steps into the water before diving in and coming up for air only a few feet from her.She yelps, bracing like I’m about to pull her under, but that unguarded smile is still firmly in place. For a moment we just tread water, and despite the cold, I feel more at ease than I have in a long time.
I flip over to float on my back and stare up at the sky, watching the treetops slowly crawl past me, the blistering cold fading away into something more tolerable with each passing second.
“I can see why you keep this place a secret,” she murmurs, floating next to me, eyes closed and soaking in the sounds around us.
I’m not sure if it’s the current or if I did it without realizing, but we’ve drifted closer to each other. I only notice it when Madeline’s arm brushes against mine. I freeze, unsure of whether she wants any physical contact, but she doesn’t shy away from the touch. Instead, she presses her arm more firmly against mine, turning the small bit of contact into something bigger, and I try not to memorize the way her skin feels against mine.
“God, I never want to leave this place,” she sighs like it’s a prayer, like she’s forgotten what this felt like, being alive rather than merely surviving.
“Yeah, it’s pretty great,” I sigh too.
She rights herself clumsily, causing water to splash around my face.
“Silas?” Her voice carries a tone of apprehension that twists my stomach.
“Yeah?” I start to tread next to her, giving her my undivided attention.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being kind to me.”
I’m trying to process her words when she drifts a little closer. I don’t really understand what she’s saying, why she’s saying it, but my body is acutely aware of hers. My skin is begging for more contact, waiting for the moment she brushes against me again. Against my better judgment, I swim closer to her, closing the gap between us.
She does the same and suddenly we’re pressed against each other, and I’m working to guide us to more shallow water. As soon as my feet make contact with the slick rocks beneath me, she’s clinging onto me, looking into my eyes with an intensity I don’t immediately understand.
“I’m serious, thank you.”
Before I can tell her I didn’t do anything, that she shouldn’t thank me, her lips press into mine, and I don’t have the power to stop it.