39. Thirty-Nine
“What the hell do you mean I can’t go with?”
This is ridiculous, and my tone makes my frustrations clear. I’m just as much a part of the team as the rest of them, and I’ve been trained to hell and back since Ray started with me! I should be allowed to be a part of the excursions.
I’m exhausted from the past two days. Every waking moment has been spent rereading the plans with Tucker, or sparring with Ray, or continually failing to shoot a bottle with Silas. It might be anxiety about the job, but my mind and body are wound so tight that I need something to do, something that feels productive. Something that can be helpful.
I stand, staring directly at Dane, trying to keep my eyes from zeroing in on the cut on his cheek.
He heals so slowly.
It’s fascinating to see the way his skin pulls and puckers along the stitches and scabs, and every time I see it I want to run my finger along the ridge, to feel the proof of it. The proof that I can hold my own.
The proof that I got to Dane.
Focus, Madeline.
I’m doing everything I can to take up more than my fair share of space in this hallway. From my stance to my, hopefully, stony facial expression, even down to the way I’m blocking his path, I’m trying to project confidence. Trying to show him I should be taken seriously. That I can go along with Ray and Silas to secure our transportation for tomorrow.
Dane breaks our stare first, looking over my shoulder and down the hallway towards the hatch.
Please be a good sign.
His jaw ticks, the clearest indication of his frustration I’ve learned during my time with him.
“They don’t need you there.” His eyes flick back to mine, and I’m proud I don’t shrink away from the fiery look like I would back at Omni. “It’s an easy job, and you’ll be more of a distraction than anything else.”
“If it’s so easy, then why even bother avoiding distraction?” I snap, all but stomping my foot on the ground. I’m edging towards a tantrum, and I really don’t care how bad it looks for me. I’m sick of being kept in here, waiting for whoever left to come back, not really knowing where they’ve gone.
I want in on the action. I want to be there for the fun, for the exploration. The little missions leading up to the job. They took me out of one prison, and now I might as well be locked in here too. I’ve seen just how big the world is out there, and I want to see so much more of it.
When he doesn’t respond, I switch tactics. Business. Everything with Dane is business. I take a deep breath. I need to appeal to that side of him. I need him to understand this is helpful for his ultimate goal.
I square my shoulders, suppressing any lingering desire to throw a fit.
“Don’t you think tomorrow is a bad time for me to be out in the open for the first time?”
I watch his face carefully as he mulls this over, looking for any indication of whether my strategy is working, but his eyebrows pull together slightly, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing for my case. My heart rate rockets and I know my window of opportunity is closing fast.
“It might be good for me to learn better how to, I don’t know, be s-sneaky?” I fumble over the words and every bit of credibility I might have been building crumbles away in front of me.
“No. End of discussion,” Dane declares. He’s pouring every ounce of his authority into those four words as he turns away, leaving before I have the chance to argue otherwise.
I’m being treated like a child, like I should just fall in line with whatever he says. My cheeks heat and I ball my fists. Sixteen years of dealing with a man expecting blind obedience has worn my patience too thin for this. Fine. If he wants to treat me like a child, what’s to stop me from acting like one?
I drop my head back and release a breath caught between a groan and a shout. It’s loud and rumbly, and it feels really, really good to let out. Throwing all remaining dignity by the wayside, I stomp to my room, slamming the door behind me for good measure. I’m fully intent on sulking in here until the moment it’s time for me to throw myself in harm’s way for his stupid vendetta.
I’m almost asleep, still determined to continue my sulking, when my door cracks open just enough for a mischievous face to peek its way through, Ray’s signature dimple promising the best kind of trouble.
He doesn’t say anything, but he narrows his eyes and jerks his head out towards the dining hall before slipping back out, his footsteps heading directly to the hatch.
It’s as much of an invitation as I’m going to get.
A thrill shoots through me at the idea of breaking the rules. I’m doing something that could be fun. I’m doing something simply because I want to, and unadulterated delight is coursing through my veins.
I slip out of my room as quietly as I can, fighting the urge to practically skip along after Ray.
The cool night air hits my skin when I reach the top of the ladder, and I stifle the ecstatic squeal building in my chest.
I’m out.
I’m out, and I’m doing something bad!
The night sky above me stops me in my tracks. I’m transfixed by the patterns in the stars, and just how many stars there are above me. Something inside of me softens at the sight of it. Each tiny pinprick of light working together to soothe some part of me I didn’t know was still aching, still bogged down.
Ray and Silas have already pulled the tarp from the van and are working together to fold it up neatly, following the same pattern already creased into the camouflaged fabric.
I flip the hatch door closed behind me, the sound so much quieter from outside without the relentless echo of the hallways. It’s loud enough to catch the boys’ attention though. Ray turns and sees me first, pride flashing over his face when he sees me bouncing lightly on my feet.
“I knew you couldn’t resist.”
I beam, suddenly overwhelmed with the realization of how much I love our interactions. How he always seems to know how to boost my mood no matter what.
I catch Silas’ eyes and the balloon of excitement in my chest deflates a little. He’s not nearly as pleased to see me.
“Did Dane change his mind?” There’s a definite undertone of reprimand to his words as he crosses his arms over his chest. He knows the answer to his own question, and my presence here might be calling his loyalties into question. Even though we’ve grown so much closer since our first day in the bunker, I know his true alliance lies with Dane.
Is he going to stop me from tagging along?
“No,” I state, keeping my tone as firm as I can possibly make it. I don’t need his permission, and I hope Silas agrees.
“Alright.” He bobs his head once before wrenching open the door to the van. He’s not going to leave me behind and that same giddy joy overtakes me again.
This time I actually do skip, bounding to the van and thoroughly enjoying myself as I do so. Silas watches my approach, his face softening into a smile with each eager bounce.
After a couple seconds of adjusting ourselves on the bench seat, Ray and I are seated directly next to each other with our backs against the metal wall. Silas starts the engine and guides the van over the dark, unpaved terrain.
Ray’s hand starts on my knee at the beginning of the quiet ride, but with every bump, dip, and turn he drags it higher and higher. The gentle pressure and warmth of his touch cut through the thin fabric of my leggings with surgical precision. Every passing second with his less than absentminded touches ratchets up my heart rate, sending my nervous system into a frenzy. I’m doing my best to play along, to pretend it isn’t happening, but minute by minute, inch by inch, it’s getting more difficult.
I swallow hard as he swipes his finger on my inner thigh. My nervous system is in overdrive from just those simple touches. It feels like I’m about to vibrate out of my skin. Every graze, every slight variation of pressure, every little bit of friction, makes my muscles twitch and tense. If that’s his goal, then congratulations to him, because it’s nearly unbearable. Another bump, another not to subtle nudge, and his fingers are just an inch away from the center seam of my leggings.
I inhale sharply and freeze, worried I’m giving away our little game. That somehow, by reacting to it, the teasing caress will go away and I’ll be left writhing with need while Ray smirks in the darkness.
I look up towards the driver’s seat, checking to see if Silas noticed, and I catch his eyes in the rearview mirror. The intensity in his gaze heats my core impossibly further. Despite the darkness, I can see hunger building in his expression, and I almost whimper at the sight of it.
“I see it too, Princess.”
The gentle caress of Ray’s breath on my neck startles me, almost as if I had forgotten where I am. Forgotten I’m sitting here, against Dane’s orders, pressed up against Ray’s side practically panting for him to continue touching me.
“Wanna give him a show?” he whispers, speaking low enough that the sound of his voice is nearly drowned out by the sounds of the van’s engine and the world whizzing past us.
I don’t know what I want. Everything about this feels so deliciously wrong, but at the same time, I can’t think of anything I want more than this. To continue with Ray’s teasing, and continue pushing Silas’ buttons. Maybe he’ll finally join us.
I can only give one quick nod, the words still beyond me. I feel, more than hear, the quiet huff of a laugh coming from Ray.
“Your wish is my command,” he says as he leans back, righting his posture and positioning himself slightly further away from me than he had been before, but he keeps his hand on me, his fingers kneading into the muscle of my thigh, winding my core tighter and tighter.
My breath shudders out of me when he trails his hand further up, finally reaching the heat at the apex of my thighs.
When he grinds the heel of his palm into me, I wriggle against it, desperate and impatient for him to fulfill all the silent promises he’s been making to me.
Ray bears down again, pulling a heady moan out from somewhere deep inside of me. Something about the sound leaving my mouth sends a shiver up my spine. I’m not trying to be quiet, not trying to suppress my reactions anymore.
“Oh, good girl. Let him know what he’s missing back here.”
I don’t know when I screwed my eyes shut, but I pry them open, fighting the urge to sink deeper and lose myself in the sensations. Silas is staring into the rearview mirror, the fire in his eyes meant solely for me.
It’s a look I’ve fortunately become familiar with. That hunger, that primal need for me painted clearly on his features.
“Go on, give me another.”
Ray’s voice is deeper, slightly raspier, than it was seconds ago, but otherwise he’s not showing any other signs of losing his composure. This is a game for him, and it’s one I’m more than willing to be a part of, but damn if it doesn’t feel like a challenge. I want him to feel just as needy as I do.
This time my noise is voluntary. The same breathy moan feels so good, so dirty coming out of my mouth, especially knowing I’m putting on a performance for both of them.
There’s a sharp jerk in response, not coming from my own body or Ray’s hands, but of the entire van. It swerves harshly away from an oncoming car, its headlights flashing and horn blaring as the rough edge of the road shakes the interior.
“Enough,” Silas barks at us, the single word strained and harsh.
Of course he wants us to stop, but there’s something so sexy about the inherent danger of distracting Silas. The threat is heightening every little touch, every teasing caress.
“Do you wanna play with us, Silas?” Ray’s voice is teasing, but there’s dark promise lining every syllable. He’s so calm, so in control, and I can’t get enough of it, even with the possibility of Silas’ retaliation hanging in the air.
I might not mind his version of retaliation, though.
Ray doesn’t wait for him to respond, instead he redoubles his efforts, pulling me on top of him and adjusting my legs to straddle his own.
I feel incredible. Wild. Everything in me shivers with anticipation and boldness.
I take advantage of the new position, eagerly grinding myself against his erection. I’m using him, reveling in the power of it. Each shift I make is drawing out my own pleasure, each bump of the road spurs me on as I lift closer to that edge.
I’m panting and groaning as I grind, the pressure against my clit is perfect. So goddamn perfect. I can’t stop, but I don’t want to come like this.
If I’m taking this moment for my own, then I’m going to take full advantage.
I yank my shirt off, pulling it over my head and throwing it to the ground.
“Fuck.” Silas’ curse battles against the sounds of the van. I chance a peek at him and find him rigid, staring ahead like his life depends on it, his knuckles white on the wheel.
Something comes over me, and suddenly I’m more sure than ever of what I want to do. I want to take this moment for my own.
I want to-
“I want to fuck you, Ray.”
When I reach for Ray’s shirt, tugging the hem upward, he doesn’t move to help me. He just stares, laser focused on my body and the way I move above him. When his eyes meet mine, something darkens in them, like he finally registers what I said, and a wolfish grin stretches over his features.
“Fuck, Princess…” he trails off with a groan, raking his eyes over my body one more time. “Your wish is my command.”
He pushes me off, sliding me onto the bench beside him before ripping his own shirt over his head and kicking his shoes away.
I don’t waste any time, peeling away the last of my clothes as quickly as I can, but I’m distracted by his body the whole time. His muscles bunch and tense, pulling and stretching at the abstract swirls and splotches of ink decorating his skin. Perfect, everything about his body is perfect.
It’s the same with all of my boys, even Dane.
I don’t miss the small flex he gives me, feeding my hungry gaze. Heat flushes my cheeks at his preening. It’s ridiculous. As if he needs to flex for me to see how gorgeous he is.
He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer against him, grabbing my face with his other hand and pulling me in for a kiss. I’m swept away by it, letting my hands roam over him freely. The tips of my fingers drag over the grooves of his abs and when I finally reach his cock, I feel him twitch beside me.
He’s just as eager as I am.
I wrap my hand around him and give a tentative stroke, remembering the way he likes to be touched, remembering how to draw those incredible groans out of him.
“Come here,” he growls, pulling me back onto him, and I’m so close, so damn close, to where I want to be.
His muscles tighten with restraint as I tease him, sliding the tip of his cock through my wetness. We both shudder as I sink onto him. Inch by perfect inch he fills me entirely.
I can’t help the moan that escapes from my lips.
This is heaven.
The fullness is perfection, but I need more. I start to bounce, pushing him into me over and over, his length massaging that one spot deep inside me with every shift of my hips. The pleasure building each time I drive down.
“For fuck’s sake,” Silas growls and makes a sudden turn. The smoothness of the road giving immediately to rough, uneven earth, and I have to brace my hands on either side of Ray’s head to keep my balance.
“I think he’s going to join us, Princess,” Ray coos up at me.
“Oh, fuck. Please.” I throw my head back, nearly overwhelmed by how good everything feels. Victory flares in my chest as I continue to rock on Ray.
I did it, I pushed Silas this far and he’s changing course.
My pace is faltering as my core tightens, but Ray doesn’t miss a beat, shifting his hips forward and gripping my waist, driving up into me, finding the perfect pace and angle to push me to the edge.
I’m close. So close.
“Ray,” I breathe, his name is little more than a whine on my lips. A deep, needy whine stuttering with the force of his thrusts.
The world explodes around me, that kaleidoscope of sensations taking over my body completely.
I’m panting and shaking, just barely on this side of coherent when I feel the van stop moving. Ray is still pounding into me from below, keeping his pace while my muscles clench around him.
The van shifts back and forth with the force of our fucking, and Silas only has to take a couple steps before he’s on us. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me off of Ray, away from the source of the pleasure still crashing through me.
“Come here, baby,” he says, and his nose brushes along the column of my throat. It’s barely a command, considering he’s still holding the entirety of my weight. I hold onto his forearm for stability while he pulls me further away, turning us parallel to the bench seat so he has room.
My knees find the cold aluminum floor a moment before my hands do, and eager anticipation holds me firmly in place as I listen to the sounds of Silas undoing his belt and zipper. He’s not wasting any unnecessary time on his clothes while I’m bared for him, still quivering from my waning pleasure.
He doesn’t give me a warning, no gentle nudge at my opening, just a single, punishing thrust knocking my breath out of me with a shout.
Somewhere in the corner of my bliss hazed awareness, I hear Ray speaking. “Not fair! I was barely getting started.”
“Shut. Up. Ray.” The sharp staccato of his words match his thrusts perfectly.
I’m awash with everything happening. The quick and ruthless transition from one man to another. The brutal efficiency of Silas’ movements. Everything in me is starting to tighten again when Ray leans forward to push my hair out of my face and I see the heat in his gaze. He breaks eye contact, shifting to watch the point where Silas and I connect until he reaches his hand beneath me, adding friction right where I need it.
I clench around Silas and buck back against him while I come, exploding into another level of bliss while my body goes boneless, supported by his hands still gripping onto my hips.
“Fuck, baby.” His words are forced out through gritted teeth behind me, bringing me back into my own body.
This is hot, so damn hot.
Even hotter when Ray slides off the bench and grabs me by the throat. He centers his face directly in front of mine, taking up my entire field of vision. Then he slides his fingers into my mouth and hooks them downward, holding my jaw open.
My thoughts are jumbled, still being pieced back together from the orgasm when Ray spits into my mouth.
“I owed you that one.”
Gone is the playful Ray. The man in front of me, holding my mouth open and forcing me to release every pleasure drenched sound at full volume, he’s different. Menacing. Commanding. Forceful. My breath catches in my throat, my thoughts filling with static, perfectly overwhelmed with the vulgarity.
Ray smiles, and says, “Wanna show him what Tuck taught you, Princess?”
I can’t speak around his fingers, my yes coming out as little more than a heady moan, but I nod, overjoyed that I’m going to have both of them together.
He moves with the same rushed urgency as Silas, lining himself up and thrusting into my mouth without a beat of hesitation. I manage to keep up with his pace for a bit before I have to wrap a hand around him so I can pump and swirl my tongue around the head.
Silas’ grip tightens on my hips before two final, vicious pumps have him spilling into me. I moan around Ray’s cock when I feel the heat of him leaking out of me.
“Holy hell.” Ray threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me off of him, right as I feel him start to stutter.
He’s not done with me yet.
Less than a second after Silas pulls out, I’m spun around, and two fingers dip into my core, swirling in the mess of it.
“That’s not nearly enough, Princess,” Ray purrs, dragging his fingers over my ass and leaving a slick, cool line behind.
I shudder at the contact, my core fluttering around nothing as the possibilities run rampant through my mind.
Silas is panting, wholly entranced by the way Ray and I move together, but his eyes are locked on me. Enthralled with the pleasure clear on my face.
This might be my favorite place on earth, on my hands and knees staring into the eyes of one of my men while another lines up behind me.
I’m speared by Ray, the additional slickness from Silas allowing him to slide in so easily, every bit of him disappears without an ounce of resistance.
Ray slaps my ass drawing a slight cry from me before wrapping his fingers around my throat again, squeezing just enough for me to feel that delicious fuzziness flood into my head.
I’m a mess. I know I am. Whimpering and moaning, crying out at each smack, loving every second of it.
My body bows against Ray, and the pleasure burns as he pounds into me. Through it all, I haven’t looked away from Silas once. I don’t think I could if I tried.
“Touch yourself,” he commands, still holding the stare we’re locked into, his hand lazily stroking his cock.
Fuck.
I comply, mimicking the same swirling pressure Ray had applied to my clit only minutes ago. Everything inside of me tightens and curls in on itself as I hurtle towards another release. I clench around him, and Ray’s moans change, edging on a strain as his hand tightens around my throat.
Silas has yet to look away, that primal edge in his eyes refusing to recede.
He nods to me, a command in and of itself. He doesn’t have to say the words, I know he’s telling me to let go, to fall apart in front of him at my own hands.
I do.
The shuddering, shaking, soul destroying orgasm rushes through me only seconds before Ray”s does.
He loses himself inside of me, his own liquid heat mingling with Silas’. I feel the sweet tension of him pulling himself out of me, and I fall back against him. My naked, sweat-misted skin sticking slightly against his.
“Fuck. You did so good, Princess,” he breathes, peppering small, gentle, even loving, kisses along my shoulder.
“Not so bad yourself,” I whisper back to him, wriggling deeper into his embrace, but my eyes are still locked on Silas, still obeying his silent command to be with him in this moment, even if I’m in Ray’s arms.
“All satisfied?” A small smirk creeps onto the corners of Silas’ mouth.
“Never,” Ray huffs, still catching his breath after the work he just put in. Two more kisses land on my shoulder before I’m released, and he turns to gather our clothes from the back of the van.